


Now Is the Time of Monsters

by Elywyngirlie



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: A deep long war, Alchemical AU, Dubious Consent, F/M, Gen, Mistaken Identity, Plus a plague, Pretty much planned but who knows, Slow Burn, Steampunk AU, a grand adventure, non linear, switched at birth - Freeform, threesome maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-07-26 02:25:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 102,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7556437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elywyngirlie/pseuds/Elywyngirlie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben Solo returns home from the war. Rey knows this man in bed with her at night is not her husband, that she is sleeping with the enemy, until she discovers the truth and sets out for the far reaches of the land and her husband. </p><p>A steampunk AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born; now is the time of monsters.” Antonio Gramsci

She dipped the cloth into the water and wrung it out quickly, close to the surface, so as not to wake the sleeper, before reaching over and dabbing the damp forehead. His curls stuck to his face and she gingerly brushed a tendril back. He moaned and twitched, and she froze, biting her lip, not daring to move. He shifted, rolling over and presented her with his back. She sighed and placed the cloth back into the bowl before carefully rising and creeping out of the room. She held the door still before sliding it into the lock.

“How is he?” her mother in law asked, her hand at her throat, her gray hair piled on her head.

“He’s asleep. He still has the fever,” Rey replied in a hushed voice, padding down the corridor to the stairway, Leia trailing behind her.

“I’m going to send for the pharmacist,” Leia says softly.  Rey shook her head, understanding why Leia needed to make the futile gesture. The doctors were all befuddled by this disease. She waded outside into the soupy air, the dim light scattering in the ever present fog. It was a rare moment when she could merely watch the sun sink behind the moss draped trees without needing to be somewhere else. She rubbed the back of her neck, her muscles groaning in protest at her long day Each day since they had fled she had wondered if her memories were but dreams, the stress of surviving in Adyta overwhelming. It was not the sanctuary she had thought it would be.

She found Leia inside, asleep in the gray chair by the fire. Rey’s nose nose wrinkled at the earthy smell from the peat but she tossed another brick on anyways to warm Leia who often complained of her hands aching. She gently laid the worn throw over her. Rey collapsed on the low couch by the window looking over a driveway covered in brambles, eaten away by the shrubs and encroaching trees. She knew from experience that even fully lit up, the house was barely visible to those passing by unless they were within the perimeter.

But at that point, it would be too late.

Casting a wary eye over the grounds, Rey refused to let her guard down. She was unconsciously rubbing her palm, the scars webbed over them worn from her constant touching, sore from the sea and from guard duty, and from too many hours in the cellar fiddling with tools.

She caught a glimpse of orange amongst the trees and tensed up before blowing out her air. It was Snap on patrol, gun slung over his shoulder. He gave her a quick salute before slinking away, fading into the mist. She let her head fall back, let her eyes close, and exhaustion overtake her.

* * *

* * *

“I think you have the wrong girl, Professor,” Rey drawled, all of nineteen and a blade thin girl made of determination, a bright streak in another lackluster class. Luke shook his head, his blue eyes strangely focused. During lectures, he seemed aimless, his thoughts elsewhere, his attention scattered as he mixed together disparate materials.

“Rey, the experiment you performed was amazing. I’ve only ever seen a few other people do it successfully. It takes an innate talent, someone tapped into the Force, to be able to do that,” he paused to chew on his lip, Rey shifting her weight. “Look, let us go to the scholars cafe, have some lunch and continue discussing it.”

“There’s nothing to discuss,” she responded.

“Well, there’s always the food,” he generously replied, his hand at her elbow, guiding her down the crowded hallway. Rey stepped away to gather her long skirts in her hand, wishing she was brave enough to try the wide trousers she had seen some women wearing. Back at the Plains of Jakku, dresses were useless, could not aid in the gathering of the aether. Here in the city, however, she could hardly expect to wear her leggings and other scraps and her sponsor had included a small stipend in her tuition. A stipend that Rey had rapidly spent on two outfits and piles of food.

The scholar’s cafe was an intimate space, dark wood walls gleaming in the golden glow of aether lamps attached by elaborate bronze sconces. The scholars in their heavy robes sat around small black tables, steaming mugs in front of them. Professor Skywalker threaded his way through them, occasionally stopping to greet another colleague. Rey kept her head down as she followed him--students were not generally allowed in the room.

Luke reviewed the menu and ordered a few things, Rey’s mouth dropping open at the thought of a beef pie. Her small stipend allowed her to eat better and more frequently but did not often include beef or the small glass of wine placed in front of her. She hesitated and at Luke’s small laugh, picked it up to take a dainty sip.

“Ugh! It’s sour!” she exclaimed, drawing back in surprise. Luke let out a belly loud laugh this time, turning a few gray heads toward him, their frowns permanently etched into their faces.

“Give it another go,especially with the beef. It’ll be better,” he said as the server sat down a bread basket and a mixture of oils and spices. Rey tore into the bread before noticing her professor take some and dip it. After a moment, she followed suit and for a short while, they bent their heads over the food--the fresh green salad with the last of the summer fruits, the steaming and decadent beef pie, a baked cheese wheel with fruit.

As a tray of desserts was presented with Luke waving for Rey to select whatever, he settled back to begin the conversation.

“There are few women in the sciences. There are few true talented students now working in my field,” he began. Rey listened, sliding her finger along her mouth to pick up chocolate crumbs. “What you did was exceptional. Creating a phosphorous fire and keeping it going for over an hour in a contained device? Imagine the benefit that could have for our society--for miners, for other farmers who could work later. Perhaps even the scientist like me working in the field.”

“We have aether,” Rey shot back. “And you don’t go into the field.”

“Aether is not as limitless as we think it is. And you know that, don’t you, Rey?” She nodded once, not surprised he had gleaned a few truths at her time in Jakku.

“I could not go back to Jakku,” she whispered and Luke leaned forward to cover her hands.

“You wouldn’t need to. Any university would be lucky to have you. The Princess would honor you for your work and doors would open after that,” his urgency surprised her, her eyes widening. She squirmed away and opened her mouth to speak when a dark form bumped their table.  

“I’m surprised to see you out of the cellar, Uncle Luke,” the voice rumbled. Rey looked up to see one of the tallest men she had ever met, clad completely in royal blue, his black hair pulled back by a leather thong.

“Ben, I can’t believe they let you off the grounds with all that’s going on,” Luke said, slightly irritated as Ben pulled over a chair and sat between them. He had yet to acknowledge Rey.

“I can’t be seen to be in hiding while the Uthians beat the war drum. They would think they are winning,” he drawled with a charming smile. “Besides, I have a tutorial with Professor Karrade and he doesn’t care for royal protocol. If I didn’t show, he’d march up to the gates, rules be damned, and demand I be brought out.”

“You need a firm hand. If you applied yourself, you could be one of our most learned kings,” Luke said in a weary voice. Rey surmised this was an old topic for them, took in the flash in the prince’s eyes, and realized it was Prince Ben, the only son of the Princess and her Consort. Even sitting, he dwarfed her, his large hands eating up valuable space on their table, pushing all the plates to one side. He leaned back into his chair and spread his legs, his knees nearly knocking Rey’s. Her lips pulled back in a snarl.

“Taking in more penniless scholarship students, Uncle Luke?” he asked, cocking his head to examine Rey. She stared openly back, her chin up. His eyes were dark and if she wasn’t mistaken, he was trying to hide a smile with a too stern expression. “You must be brilliant if my uncle is having lunch with you. He doesn’t like students.”

“No, I don’t like _you_ as a student,” Luke corrected sharply.

“Ah, uncle, you wound me,” he mocked. “I thought I was your best student.”

“Not since Kyp Durron.” Luke’s voice was prim, almost digging and Rey worked to keep her face blank, her heart aching at the display between the two. A ribbing familiar from observation, never from experience.

“Well, then, I take it this young woman must, at least, rival me,” he moved as he spoke, angling his torso toward her, his head dipping toward hers. “Will you show me?” Rey knew her cheeks were warming, unused to naked male admiration, unsure if she liked it. She relied on her instinct to get her this far and she only offered him a cool smile.

“She’s my assistant, Ben. You’ll see her in labs next week,” Luke said as he stood. “That is, if you bother to come. Rey, are we ready?”

“Yes, professor,” her voice more demure than she intended as she rose. Ben caught her hand and with a cheeky grin, lifted it to his mouth and brushed his lips across it.

“Pleasure to meet you, Rey.” She struggled to keep her mouth closed, snatching her hand back, and quickly walking away, feeling Ben’s eyes follow her out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story that moves between the past and the present. I find reading large italics passages uncomfortable so past and present sections will be indicated by two lines in the middle of the page.

Rey’s eyes fluttered open. Sunlight filtered through the clouds warmed her clothes and she sat up with a start. The sun was up too high--she was going to miss the tide! She leaped off the window seat and dashed upstairs, diving into her room to pull on some new trousers and a rough shirt. She paused to check on Ben, his breath even, a warm tone to his skin that assured her he was on the mend.

“Rey--your breakfast!” Leia called, tossing Rey a wrapped package as the young woman barreled out the door and down to the wharf, where their small boat bobbed in the water. She was usually out to sea by now, pulling up nets and checking for the night’s work. She hoped for a good catch as she jumped in, hands working quickly to release the knots, pulling ropes to unfurl the main sail, moving the boom to collect the wind.

She was cutting through the incoming tide quickly and she took a moment to squash a cap onto her head, sitting in the aft, her hand on the rudder guide. She took Leia’s package and sniffed it, her belly growling at the bacon and egg pocket  tucked inside. She shoved it into her mouth, making quick work of it, before she arrived at her first crab trap.

Rey spent a few happy hours, guiding her boat between traps, picking up lines. She had a cage full of crabs and lobsters as well as a pail of fish. She reached her final trap and spent a moment hauling up to find a dull lead cylinder wrapped around one of her nets. Furtively glancing around and feeling foolish, she cut it out and slid it into her coat pocket to deliver to Leia. Resentfully, she guided the boat back to the wharf, her shoulders slumped.

She didn’t always gather food in the sea. Sometimes she would forage among the estuary and the swamps for new herbs and tubers.  Mostly she went alone but sometimes someone from the Resistance would join her, slipping her messages between stabbing the dirt for something useful.

As Rey dumped her haul into the water tub outside the house, she paused at the sound of laughter coming from inside. She peered inside to see Ben resting on a stool, hunched over a steaming cup, but his eyes bright. Her heart stuttered for a moment and she pasted a bright smile on her face before stepping inside.

“Good afternoon,” she said cheerfully. Ben looked cautiously at her, his shoulders broader than she remembered but she told herself it was because he had lost weight. The sight of the scar bisecting his face still jarred her yet she reminded herself not to show it, to let joy rather than trepidation show. Leia was grinning as she poured Rey a cup of caf which the younger woman took gratefully.

“I’m heading up to bathe in a moment,” Rey began. “I don’t want to overwhelm you with my stench.”  Leia shook her head and Rey watched Ben cock his head, still. She frowned slightly, waiting for a teasing comment or a flirty one, but nothing came. He was withdrawn, sullen, so different from her Ben. It was the war, Leia would remind her. War changes people. She needed to give him time.  She shook her head and headed away. She paused on the steps when she heard Ben’s deep voice again, Leia’s soft laugh, and her chin trembled as she held back the tears.

This man at her kitchen table was not her husband. The certainty grew into her chest until it burst into a fire that ate at her heart.

* * *

* * *

“You should rest, Rey,” Ben chided his hip pressed against hers in Luke’s gloomy lab. Rey had added more aether lamps, using the chemicals and something Luke called the Force to coax the lamps to life. A long and tedious process, fusing the metals using lead and squid ink, crushed flowers with the mold that grew on the sides of corn and a tiny shard of an aether gem. The turquoise bit barely made a blot on her tiny finger but when she dropped it in, blowing softly the life of air across a flame, the aether burst into life, its white bloom flooding the room with light before settling into a dancing merry light. Rey had capped the spell with a drop of her blood and placed the cream colored glass around it before stepping carefully out of her circle, scratching one line open with one toe to signal the end.

She had created three lamps that way, Luke always watching in the corner. Ben had showed up the second time and had participated the third time. When Luke was mounting the light, he had taken her finger and sucked it gently, his pupils wide and her belly tightening in anticipation.

Still she resisted him. Ben flirted with her constantly and she woke up one morning, loathing how he would lower his voice when he spoke her name--Rey. How intimate he sounded. She knew it was court training. She had witnessed it first hand when Luke had been required to attend the annual alchemical sciences exhibition at the Palace. He had included Rey with his students who demonstrated his work to curious courtiers. Rey had seen Ben walking behind his mother, regal in his blues, a thin silver and gold circlet on his head. Princess Leia was more diminutive than Rey had imagined, tiny next to Ben, clad in a white dress with a silver belt, aether gems winking in the center of each silver square. Ostentatious. Imperial. The Uthian delegation couldn’t quite hide their sneers as they bowed their heads when she entered the ballroom.

She had watched Ben bend over the hands of ladies clad in silver and coral, gamely whisper in ears, burst in raucous laughter, his retinue following along. Another day in a Cortayan court, Rey thought, before turning to the group before her, explaining how aether could aid in increasing farm production.

“This is what we need!,” a duke proclaimed in an overly jovial face although Rey had seen his bored expression throughout her lecture. “Real, practical science, not theoretical stuff, eh Skywalker? No more of your mumbo-jumbo.”  Luke straightened, brushing his ermine lined cloak off his shoulder. He had abandoned his usual brown spotted robes for regal attire, the renowned Skywalker saber sheathed at his side and glinting in the light.

“I disagree,” he said coolly. “After all, without theory, you wouldn’t get something like this. Theory makes the practice possible.”

“Sure, tell that to your hand,” the other duke jeered, gesturing toward the body part in question. Rey gave Luke credit; rather than shirking, he held out his dun colored hand, the skin mottled from alchemical experiments. The duke shrunk back from the proffered hand and with a snort, led his wife into the crowd.

“I could have used his funding, you know,” Rey said.

“You’ll find someone better,” Luke replied, tucking his hand behind his back again.

“Like me perhaps?” Rey’s eyes shot open and she dropped into a clumsy curtsy. “Oh, please, rise. My son has told me a lot about you, Rey. Almost as if you are part of the family now.” Leia placed a hand under Rey’s chin and gently tugged the girl up. “Ah and taller than me. Not surprising, really.” She ran a critical eye over Rey who tried not to squirm under it. The princess’s hand was surprisingly strong, calluses on her fingers.

“Well, now I can see why he started going to classes again,” Leia murmured, half to herself. Rey raised her eyebrow.

“Ma’am?”

“Ben, of course. He was a terrible student and then suddenly, he was saying he was needed at Luke’s lab. He and Luke have never seen eye to eye on alchemy and yet now that I know you are Luke’s assistant, I can see why. He could never resist a beautiful woman.”

Rey blushed a deep crimson. “Your Majesty is too gracious.” Leia snorted and Rey decided all the rumors about the princess were true, including her agreeing to give up the possibility of being queen by marrying a pirate.

“I know my husband and my son,” she retorted before turning her piercing gaze to Luke. “You keeping an eye on this one?”

“I keep Ben from her,” he replied evenly. “Why isn’t Han here?” Leia shrugged, offering Luke a small smile.

“Perhaps he had places to explore.” Rey held her breath at that. She knew the consort had been missing for several months, knew that Uthos had been arguing with the princess over the mountain range that separated the two countries, heard the whispers of war. Her mind raced along the possibilities that he had been sent to investigate the truth of it or to instigate it. Every knew pirates couldn’t be trusted; everyone knew that the consort had connections with smugglers in both countries.

“Isn’t that dangerous with the Uthians here?” Luke hissed. Leia smirked and turned to glance over her shoulder at the delegation sneering at a student whose experiment had won her an award.

“Everyone knows the consort and I are having difficulties, brother. I’m surprised you’d bring it up,” Leia dropped her voice to wounded, altered her face to see sad. Rey knew a consummate politician when she saw it and could only beam at the princess.

“I must mingle,” Leia said regretfully. She gave Rey a thoughtful look. “IF you are planning on being in the sciences, you should consider those new trousers everyone is raging about.”

“She’s a scholarship student from Jakku, Leia. Don’t distract her.”

“I’m not the one you need to worry about. Don’t let my son distract her.” Rey dipped her head as the princess sauntered off and a moment later heard her bright laughter, saw her place a delicate hand on a count’s shoulder. She knew where Ben got his decorum from in that movement and looked around for him to find him lounging against a wall, three women surrounding him, their partners shooting him sour faces. He caught her gaze and winked once before turning his attention to the blonde on his right.

She remembered the wink now as she bent over a large tome in Luke’s cellar, puzzling her way through the formula. She was nodding off, Ben long gone to some other student’s quarters, she imagined. She took a long gulp of cold tea, made a face, and went back to work, blinking as words blurred in front of her.

She was woken up by a slight jostling and realized she was being carried. Rey looked up through her shuttered lashes and made out a strong nose, full lips, long hair and knew Ben was carrying her.

“Sssh, don’t tense up. I’m taking you to bed.”

“No!” she shouted, struggling to get out of his arms but he only gripped her to him harder.

“Not to mine,” he scolded. “Luke keeps a cot upstairs. You’re working much too hard and need to rest. You look terrible.”

“Is that why you won’t take me to your bed?” she demanded, aghast at her own gall.

“No, because I imagine you would never let me out again and I don’t know if I have the stamina for you, sweetheart.” He winked again at her, she thought, and stuck her tongue at him. The nerve of this man, she growled inwardly, loathe to admit he was right about her exhaustion. He laid her gently onto a soft bed, pulling the covers over her.

“Sleep, Rey. I’ll see you in the morning,” he murmured, dropping a small kiss on her forehead. She snuggled down into the bed, the kiss warming her as she fell back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know nothing about alchemy and I chose biophysics over chemistry so the "science" is going to be wonky at best. Totally mythical. 
> 
> The mold on the side of the corn is a real thing called huitlacoche. Super good, totally recommend it, but not if it's from a can because it's got a tinny flavor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so long. Since I'm updating only on the weekends, I wanted to get this all out. Plus we need to move quickly based on my outline of this thing. I sincerely am humbled by all of your support and kindness and hope you continue to enjoy.

Ben continued to recover, beginning to spend time with Leia on patrol, and meeting with other Resistance soldiers. Rey focused on making sure the soldiers were fed, that her traps were in good shape, both in the sea and around the house.  It was quiet, the couple rarely speaking a word to one another. Rey still slept down the hall, much to Leia’s growing concern. 

Rey was bent over the kitchen table, kneading the bread, grunting as she slapped the dough onto the rough surface before dumping it into a bowl and flinging a towel over it. The afternoon light filtered through the dusty windows and for the fifth time that day, she thought they needed a wash. She walked outside, humming as she surveyed them. 

“You like to keep busy, don’t you?,” he said suddenly from behind her. Rey whirled around to see Ben sitting in a rocking chair on the porch. Slumping, more like it, she thought critically. She had been careful around him lately, as if waiting to catch him admitting he was not Ben. She was always conscious of his gaze tracking her as she moved around, immediately darting to her when she entered a room. 

“It beats waiting around,” she replied. 

“Do you really think she can beat Snoke? He took the capitol pretty decisively.” 

“I think out of all of us, she has the best chance.” Her voice was even as she turned her back to him, continuing her survey. She began to amble down the wraparound porch, making notes in mind of things that needed repair. 

“The war is an abomination. It’s over. It should stay over.” The venom in his outburst startled her and she paused in her tracks. 

“That’s not what you were saying before.”  He said nothing and she thought perhaps he had fled. She completed her turn around the house, calculating how to clean the uppermost windows. She had walked out into the boggy ground to back away and count the number of eaves. 

When she turned the corner to return to the kitchen, Ben was still in his seat, his face pinched. She slowed as she neared him and he rose from his chair. She stopped and looked up at him. She had once thought she would gaze at him from the crowds, one more admirer of the King of Croytan, not from a muddy field surrounding a small vacation house for former royalty. He looked weary, greys threaded through his long black hair. The humidity stuck his clothes to his body, sweat beading at the neck of his open shirt. 

“I’ve been to war, Rey. Have you waded through death? Have you felt blood coating your boots for days on end, mud and filth on every piece you carry with you, the stench of men shitting themselves as they die? It’s hell,” he said in a thick voice. Rey did not move. “And she wants to start it all over again. You think you saw the worst that Snoke has to offer? You don’t know what he has, what weapons he will use against us.” He was hissing now, his face contorted and Rey willed herself not to step back, her face blank. 

“I refuse. I refuse to go back to that.” He was retreating now, his heavy tread loud on the sagging wooden boards. 

“Of course. Whatever you want,” Rey said cautiously. He leaned against the kitchen door, drawn and seemingly drained. Leia warned Rey that war changed people; Ben had been passionate before. She still remembered the last fight between him and Luke, the sparking power in the corridors, the echoes ringing in her ears. She could continue ignoring him, she thought, or could try to be care for him, try to coddle him as he once did her. 

She mounted the porch steps one by one, letting Ben watch her move deliberately. Her hair stuck to her neck and she held back a grimace, turning to the side table where a bowl and pitcher of water waited. She poured some out and used the cloth to dab at her neck, freezing when Ben moved to stand next to her. He was silent, his hand covering hers, as he resumed her work of moving the cool cloth over her neck, along her jaw, until his fingers ghosted over her lips. Rey willed herself to be still, her heart galloping in her chest. His hands glided down her shoulders, along her arms, until he dropped the cloth into the basin. 

“Let me take care of you,” she whispered dryly, turning to face him, tilting her head up to see him gazing hungrily at her. She allowed herself to drink in the need, naked on his face, cradle it to her chest. It had been years since she had felt herself blush in response to him, a heat growing up her thighs. 

She opened her mouth to speak but he crushed her to him, his mouth coming swiftly down to hers. Memories of their lovemaking, long suppressed, raced through her, arching her body against his, whimpering for his remembered touch. 

He pushed her against the table, cupping her to lift her up and depositing her hard on the surface. She wrapped her legs around him, threading her fingers through his hair tugging hard, gasping as he ground himself against her, his lips ravenous. She remembered hunger, she remembered long nights of Ben exploring her body. This Ben was rougher, she thought, before pushing it out of her hazy mind as he plucked at her nipple, his hips hard against her damp slit and she pushed him back, slamming her hips against his, his loud grunts driving her harder.  Her mind was thick with need and she could not think past the taste of his mouth in hers. 

He picked her up, carrying her up the stairs, kneading her ass, neither caring when he shoved up a wall, his mouth feasting on her neck,  her nails scoring marks down his back as her voice grew hoarse crying for him to never stop.  He dumped her on the bed, growling as he ripped her boots off, before covering her body with his and savagely tearing her shirt and sucking her breast. 

They were greedy, hands digging, small bruises blooming a trail behind their mouths.  Somehow, Rey dizzily thought, they slid off the bed and onto the ground, her hair wild around her face. He gripped her head hard, pulling it back as he parted her thighs and letting her see him before he drove himself into her. Harder than before, her teeth gritting, as he slid out before slamming into her again, setting a punishing pace. Her whimpers and the sounds their skin slapping together wetly filled the small room, his ragged breathing loud in her ears. She clutched at his hips, pushing hers to meet him, to shove him deeper, filling a need that hammered away at her. His mouth dipped to meet hers, tongue thick in her mouth, and his hand was thumbing her breast without finesse. She dragged the flat of tongue dragging across his chest, the heat building within her until she was moaning his name, the heat flickering up her thighs and belly. He came swearing loudly and collapsed on top of her, sweaty and heavy. 

They have never made love like that before, she mused, as he rolled off her, breathing hard. She felt sore but elated, her body humming with little wisps of pleasure. It would take time to learn each other again, she thought.  

“Sorry, Rey,” he said abruptly. “It’s been a long time.” He propped himself up on one elbow and lay a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. He grinned at her and she felt her heart lighten. Perhaps he was her Ben, hidden beneath these layers, this war he had spoken of before. In response, she sat up and pressed a fluttery kiss to the side of his mouth. 

“Tonight, I’ll be slower,” he promised, taking her lips in his, his tongue softly prodding her to open her mouth to him. She did and he slid an arm behind her, carefully laying her back on the floor, exploring her mouth, peppering her face with kisses before pulling away to smile down at her. She knew she was glowing and was a little embarrassed by it. He pushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind an ear.

“So sure there will be a tonight, are you?” she whispered against his jaw. 

“Try and lock me out, my wife,” he drawled and she laughed, feeling lighter than she had in days. He jumped up and held his hand out to help her up. Rey paused for a moment, her mind sure his birth mark had been on his right shoulder. Now the pale beige mark was on his left. She shook her head and let him lift her up, bundle her in a thin silk robe, and speak the runes to warm the water for a shower. 

Still, the idea was lodged in her head and wouldn’t let go, even as Ben flirted with her in the shower, soaping her hair, interspersing his washing with kisses along her shoulder, her neck. He had told her about the war, explained why it was awful, she was reasoning, but felt her body grow with certainty. Shaking her head, she stood on her toes to let herself drown in his kisses.

* * *

* * *

 

Benjamin Organa-Solo, the heir to Croytan and all of its wealth and territories, was late to dinner for the third time that week. He swore under his breath as he hurried down the hall, his cloak fanning out behind him. He dashed through the doors and burst into a loud exclamation when he realized the state dining room was empty. Snarling he tore down the hallway to the private dining room, aware of the disapproval from servants and courtiers alike as he ran past them. 

“You’re late, Ben,” she said, her eyes still reading a large missive. Ben flounced over to slump into the seat beside her, his medals and crests tinkling against one another. 

“I thought tonight was a state dinner! I wore a formal uniform!,” he whined while pouring himself a glass of ale.

“You should really listen to Mitaka more. He has your daily schedule.” Leia’s voice was prim but her son could see the twinkle in her eyes. He settled himself into his chair and unpinned his cloak. His mother was dressed more comfortably than usual in a plum colored pair of wide trousers and a loose dove colored tunic, her hair in a bun. He could tell from the pile of her elbow that she had intended to work through dinner and tried not to sulk. Maker knew he had correspondence to catch up on himself and inwardly he grimaced. Volumes of correspondence meant a war council soon. 

He took another large swallow and glanced around the dining room. It was slightly formal with sage colored silk on the walls and wide open windows looking out into the private garden. He watched the servants sedately walk through placing several dishes on the side board. 

“I thought a buffet tonight, especially as Luke and your father will be joining us.”

“Ah,” Ben said abruptly. “That way they can only toss their own food at one another.”

“As I remember it, you were involved as well,” Leia chuckled dryly and made a quick note on the letter before dropping it on top of the pile. She took off her reading glasses and leveled a curious gaze at Ben. He tried not to fidget. This gaze meant questioning and even more so when she propped her chin in her hand. 

“So. Rey. Tell me about her.” Ben gulped and hoped his ears weren't turning red. 

“She’s a student of Luke’s. Probably his best. I’ve seen her bring aether light to life and stabilize it without fainting immediately afterwards.”

“Can she do other experiments after creating an aether light? As in moving right away into the next working?” 

Ben frowned thoughtfully. “I haven’t seen her do so. But many things she does comes to her naturally like waving the lights on, activating the heating runes, setting a circle.”

“Is she working on your projects?”

“No, I believe her scholarship is tied into something practical for Jakku. Uncle Luke can occasionally get her to work with him on something theoretical.” Leia hummed thoughtfully and Ben was grateful Rey had no interest in his work. It probably would terrify her and get her locked up in the dungeon. 

“And your interest in her is purely professional?” Ben paused as he lifted his ale to his mouth. He knew he was attracted to her; her bright hazel eyes were the last thing he thought about before he dozed off. 

“I know my role, mother,” he responded tightly. Leia opened her mouth when the whirring of the door mechanics caught their attention. The cogs wheeled quickly and the doors swung open to admit Luke and Rey. Ben shot an accusatory glance at his mother who only gave him a slight shake of her head. 

“Luke! Rey! What a lovely surprise. Ah, and I see you got my gift, Rey,” Leia greeted smoothly, rising and walking around the table to embrace them both. Ben took in the fine twill trousers Rey was wearing and her woven shirt--high quality, most likely a royal commission as the shirt was a bright amber, a shade darker than the Organa colors. He narrowed his eyes at his mother as she escorted Rey to the seat beside her own. 

Rey offered Ben a shy smile and he saluted her with his glass, turning to look at Luke sliding in next to him. 

“What’s she doing?” he murmured to the older man. Luke shrugged. 

“She saw Rey working in the engineering department on upgrades to the aether grids as a way to funnel it out more easily into less populous areas. She was impressed.”

“Mother’s never impressed enough to send gifts.”

“Perhaps she knows I like her,” Luke replied simply and poured himself a glass of emerald wine from the Organa’s country estate. 

Han took that moment to arrive, later than usual, his saber slung low on his hips and his grey hair disheveled. Ben tried not to roll his eyes. Han hated ceremony, loathed his uniform, and Ben often wondered why he agreed to marry Leia rather than becoming her secret lover. Royals often had them. His mother certainly would have been able to rule as a full queen, not relegated to a princess title and handing over control to parliament. But, as Luke had pointed out to him once years ago, love matches are rare and he was lucky to be born into one.

Leia kissed Han who sat next to Rey. They spent a few moment introducing themselves to one another, each discovering their interest in all things mechanical. His dad had constructed a ship out of metal, the  _ Falcon _ , almost completely mechanical. Also, most of the time, a complete dud. Ben thought steam and aether together could be put to a more useful purpose and was working to create a fully automated bird. One that could record what it sees and report back to its masters. A spy toy for a country on the edge of war. 

“Now, Rey. This is a family dinner. We may say some things here in our private room that we wouldn’t say elsewhere and we must know you will keep it a secret,” Leia began, pulling out a contract and handing it to Rey. 

“She can be trusted, Leia!” Luke snapped. Rey shook her head.

“No, I understand. Secrets can be bought. Anyone can be bought,” she said as Leia handed her a pen to sign the form. The princess also pulled out a pin and quickly pricked Rey’s finger and smeared the blood on the contract. The paper glowed brightly for a moment and Rey’s eyes widened. 

“A little contract help with some aether to bind it,” Leia explained before tucking it back into her pocket. The family moved around, getting up to fill their plates and bring them back to the table. 

“That’s some attitude there, kid. Where did you grow up?,” Han asked gruffly.

“Jakku,” Rey replied quietly and Han scoffed.

“Jakku? That junkyard!,” he said incredulously before looking at Luke. “You gotta keep her here, Luke.” 

“I’m trying to.”

“I am on scholarship at the behest of Lady Maz Kanata. Part of the arrangement is that I go back to improve Jakku,” Rey said sharply. “Besides, my parents may come back to find me.”

“Where are your parents?”, Ben asked softly. He tried not to pry into Rey’s privacy, content to observe her at work, her nimble fingers, the way she would bite her lip. He shifted in his seat, aware that his body was growing warmer. 

“They went into Takodana forests to explore an area when I was younger. They said they would return.” No one said anything, forks scraping over plates, as the mood grew dark. Ben did not want to point out that Jakku was a junkyard for a reason; people abandoned family members there all the time. He wanted to find her parents and rip their hearts out for leaving a little girl in a harsh environment. He occasionally spied scars on her arms, old and white, and felt his heart burn, struggling with his inability to defend her, the knowledge that she wouldn’t want it, and the confusion as to why it was instinctual when it came to her. 

“You work quite well with Luke,” Leia began. “I can continue your scholarship under royal appointment. That would mean a larger stipend but it would also mean you would need to write me a monthly report on what my brother is doing.” Rey blushed and Ben was stunned. He had no idea what his mother was doing and his eyes moved between the two, his mind racing. 

“My scholarship expires next year. I must return home,” Rey said firmly. Leia turned to look at Luke who shrugged as if to admit that he had failed too. Leia only humphed and Ben resisted the urge to roll his eyes. She wasn’t done yet. He could see his father watching Rey, lips tightening in thought. 

“The Uthian delegation is leaving in a fortnight,” Leia said. “They want to know if you’ve considered their proposal, Ben.” 

“I’ve considered it.”

“A marriage with an Uthian noble would bring stability to the region,” Leia started but Han cut her off. 

“No it wouldn’t. It would let them come in here. I’m telling you, Leia, you can’t trust them!”

“Parliament believes it’s the best course. Ben at least should agree to meet one of them!” 

“Excuse me,” Rey cut in, her voice sure but timid. Ben thought it was feigned. “Uthos and Crotyan are extremely similar. Why are you acting like this is an emergency?”

“Because of the aether gems,” Leia said patiently. “The mountain range between the two countries have long been a subject of contention and they house the most aether gems in any given area. We need to the gems to keep the aether flowing, the lights on, the steam going in our machines. So does Uthos. They believe their claim to it is greater than ours and we disagree. At this point, we are in talks, but with resources on the line, history has shown us talks will end soon." 

"So does the political atmosphere in Uthos," Han grumbled. 

Rey bit her lip. Ben crossed his legs. “Do you think perhaps there is alternative place with gems?” Rey asked innocently. 

“Yes, we do. Across the sea in a large island. Unfortunately, the crossing is rough and only partially viable in the summer months. Most of our exploratory ships did not make it,” Han added. “We sent out twenty ships and five came back. The goal between both countries is to see who can set up mining operations first.” The girl nodded in understanding. 

“And so we spend a lot of time in diplomacy and offer Ben up to some Uthian countess so the countries can be more united.”

“I don’t love her,” Ben interjected. 

“We’ll talk later,” Leia countered and spent the rest of the evening quizzing Rey on her life. The skies grew darker and Rey left with Luke to prepare for lectures the next morning. Ben sat for a moment among his parents, listening to the servants quietly clean up behind them. 

“Han, find out everything you know about Rey. Especially this scholarship. I’ve seen her work and I want her here,” Leia stated.

“I will. Chewbacca and I’ll head out in the morning. Jakku. Her parents just left her, poor thing” He shook his head as he spoke, his eyes shining with pity. Leia slid her glasses on and turned to look at Ben.

“You will agree to meet the countess. We’ll arrange for some sporting event or something. Just to appear we are looking. And if you do court Rey, we better find some sort of duchy or something for her. Something small.” Ben’s mouth dropped open.

“I’m not courting her!,” he all but shouted. His dad burst into laughter.

“Son, your tongue was hanging so far out I’m surprised you were able to taste anything.” He winked. “She’s good looking and smart. Much better than Rosalind.” Ben bristled at the insult. 

“The lady Rosalind is excellent at embroidery, knows three languages and is an excellent dancer.”

“Yeah but she’s dumb as a rock. You’ll need a thinker in the time of war,” Han advised before standing up and planting a kiss on Leia’s head. He ruffled Ben’s hair which caused the young man to duck away. With a chuckle, his dad strode out of the room and Ben sat next to his mom, ruminating over possibilities. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PTSD is a terrifying condition that affects millions of people, many of them veterans. Many are children from abusive households. If you are able to you might consider donating to or spreading awareness of the following:
> 
> Adam Driver's Arts in the Armed Forces, a theatre organization that works to give soldiers an artistic outlet for expressing their emotions 
> 
> Young Minds (UK only)--for children suffering from PTSD   
> Paws and Stripes--a charity that works to provide service animals to veterans with PTSD


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War drums beat and romance blossoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kudos and your comments. I deeply appreciate them. 
> 
>  
> 
> I know I said weekends posting but this one is longer and you've got a bit of wait for the next one because I'm trying out something with time switches. 
> 
> This chapter, however, takes place entirely in the past.

Ben Solo leaned back in his seat in the war council and listened to the senators and advisers arguing among one another, their voices pitching and falling, fists occasionally slamming the table. Annoyance rising, he cleared his throat and stood up, his hand resting on his grandfather’s saber. 

“Gentleman. We have all read and heard my father’s report. This has been backed up by Captain Dameron’s report, delivered by Sergeant Finn here. Finn came to us from Uthos with first hand intelligence. We know they are building up their army. The time for deliberating is over and we must prepare now.” 

“But the Uthian delegation for Countess Bazine is already on their way,” interjected one grey haired senator. Ben tried not to sneer. 

“There is no reason why we can’t raise the water and lower the bridge at the same time, Senator,” Ben all but purred. “We will entertain her group. Meanwhile, Finn and Dameron will lead a platoon to the Shadowed mountains and will aid in setting up Fort Hosnia.”

“And will the mechanized weapons be ready soon?,” Admiral Ackbar rumbled from his corner. The ruddy faced man had been quiet throughout the argument, observing through gleaming dark eyes. 

“Ideally, yes,” Ben replied coolly. “Duke Skywalker and his apprentice are aiding me. Once the prototype is complete, we will be able to roll out more rapidly. Now if we have anything else?” They argued over a few more small points of business before breaking up, much to Ben’s relief. He had work to do. 

He hurried out of the palace through a side door, tossing a scholar’s robe over his outfit and dashing out the door. He tugged a cap over his his eyes and hailed a mechanical cab, its metal wheels huffing and wheezing. He hopped inside and requested the university, pulling his bag beside him.  He had a lot of work to do to get the rolling weapons ready to be field tested and he was close. Luke reluctantly helped him, refusing to get Rey involved. Ben resisted that, trying to draw Rey in with him, teasing her, taunting her intelligence. So far, she refused to rise to the bait and he found himself admiring her for it. 

Ben tipped the driver and climbed out, the gray walls of the university looming over him. He often wondered why his grandfather had built such a dowdy thing when the summer palace was airy with delicate lacy doorways and filled with lush gardens. He trotted down the hallway, mind intent of finishing his equations when Rey’s clear voice halted him. He walked backward a few steps and ducked into a doorway. 

Rey stood in front of the room, clad in dusty scholar robes, her hair pulled back into what he thought of as her signature three buns. She was explaining the laws of equivalent exchange to students, obviously first years, Ben thought, leaning against the door jam and folding his arms across the chest. He tried to suppress the smile on his face as she walked up and scribbled on the board, her confident voice repeating the law for the class. 

“And that is why equivalent exchange exists. Because if we could manifest things without offering up something in return, where would we stop?” Rey asked. A few brave souls raised their hand and Rey called on them, reminding them of homework before the bells rang and students scattered. She looked up as most of the students filed past him, a few gawking. 

He strode forward, watching one young man cockily stride up to Rey and demand her assistance again. Ben frowned as she turned her attention to him, sincere in her effort to ensure he understood. 

The young man placed his hand on Rey’s robe and began to rub her arm. Rey neatly slid her arm away, her bemused expression going still. Ben’s heart was filled with a dark jealousy and a desire to punch the young snot in the face so strong that his breath halted in his chest. He knew he was attracted to her--how could he not be? She was beautiful, clever, brave. But this was bordering on something more possessive and he didn’t know what to do with it. He wasn’t naive; he’d bedded women before. But never someone he wanted to keep in his life.  And she could never be more than his lover, Parliament insisting he marry royalty. 

“Hey, kid, scram,” Ben ordered curtly. The young man turned to glare at him. Ben curled his lip and Rey stepped between them.

“Cory, if you need more assistance, perhaps Professor Skywalker can best assist you. He has office hours later today,” Rey said quickly. 

“Of course. I should have known a woman could never excel at teaching the sciences,” Cory said oily as he oozed past him. Rey’s shoulders slumped in defeat and Ben growled. His hand seemed to shoot out of its own accord and grab a fistful of Cory’s robes.

“Watch it there, kid, or I’ll have fungus growing out of your ears,” he snarled. Cory twisted away from Ben and shrieked.

“That’s a dark art!” 

“I know,” Ben replied coldly. “And the fact that I am ready to do it should make you worry.” He mumbled something under his breath, nonsense really, and flicked his fingers toward Cory’s ears. The boy let loose a bloodcurdling scream and leapt back, tearing his robe, before scrambling out of the room, his hands covering his ears. Ben grinned and turned to see Rey glaring at him, hands on her hips. 

“That was the spell for igniting an aether engine,” she scolded. Ben shrugged.

“Yeah but that twerp will never know it. He’s the son of some viscount. His parents probably just sent him to get a break from him.” Rey pursed her lips and shook her head. Ben relaxed, knowing he was forgiven. He strode forward to help her gather her books, tucking them under his arm and following her out. 

“You going down to the lab?”

“For a little bit,” Rey said cautiously. 

“I have some lunch,” Ben offered. “I’d love to share some food with you and pick your brain.”  Rey laughed softly. 

“Why is everyone so obsessed with my mind? You, Luke, your mother…”

“What’s my mother been doing?,” Ben quickly asked. He knew from the dinner a few weeks ago that Leia was deeply interested in the young scholar and had written to Sir Cecil Pio to aid Han in uncovering information about her. She didn’t even know her last name for Maker’s sake and relied on the generic Lorso. His mother had ordered Cecil to fund a grant for the young woman, to call in favors at the university to make it happen. 

“She’s asking me to present to some members of Parliament in a few weeks. I was supposed to go to a fitting yesterday but I forgot so she sent over the paperwork and a tape,” Rey confessed as they clattered down the steps, Ben holding the door open for her. “But my roommate is gone so I haven’t done it yet and I received an angry note before class started.” Ben hummed in response and they spent a few moments dumping their bags, organizing their work areas. Ben’s was adjacent to hers, sealed behind a locked door that opened to a command word only he and Luke knew. 

He cleared a space on her work bench and laid out the food he brought from the palace--some sandwiches, apples, a flask of wine, some cheese and a bit of dark chocolate. Rey grinned at him and lit a cozy fire to start her kettle. In response, he pulled out a box of tea. 

“From the Golden Sea Islands,” he offered. She grinned again and dashed over to open the box and inhale deeply. Ben knew she favored tea to caf and had chosen the musky dark tea from the ambassador’s gifts for his mother. She wouldn’t miss some of it, he had reasoned, and Rey deserved a few fine things in her life. 

They spent the next hour amiably discussing university gossip--old Lor San Tekka had argued with Professor Tano about the role of women in the sciences with, of course, Professor Tano coming down hard that women should be offered research opportunities, too. Ben felt a twinge of guilt that he hadn’t visited the older woman in a while; she had been one of his grandfather’s pupils before he decided to experiment in the darker arts. 

Ben pulled out the scrolls from his bag and rolled out the drawings, explaining his idea to Rey. 

“Are you sure you should be telling me this?” she asked in a husky voice but her eyes eager. 

“You’ve signed a contract already. This counts as a state secret,” he replied. “Besides, Rey. I trust you. Without the contract.” She froze at his proclamation, her hand poised above the drawing and he swore he could see a red flush creeping up her cheeks. She propped herself up and looked at him from under the lashes. 

“You barely know me.” 

“I could say the same for you,” he countered lightly. He knew she was careful with her trust, sensed she had been terribly burned in the past. She smiled on one side of her smile, wry and gamin like, he thought. 

“In the desert, you learn quickly who can trust and who you can’t.” Explanation over, she straightened and tapped at his diagram. “Well, I already see one problem here. This thing doesn’t need a compressor and you’ve put one in. It’s jamming up the steam, not allowing the turret to angle itself properly.” Her pencil flew over the drawing, making a few alterations. He tried to suppress a grin.  “Have you built one yet?”

“I’ve a prototype in my lab we can look at.” He watched her brow furrow in thought. “Rey, why aren’t you asking me why we need this?”

“It’s obvious we are going to war, or going to appear to be going to war with Uthos. Sometimes a show of strength is all that is required to cause a bully to retreat.” 

“Are you speaking from textbooks or experience?” She paused over a calculation on the side of the paper and he marveled at her mind, the way she pounced on a problem and tugged at it until it unraveled. She was dogged, determined--he agreed with his mother. They could never let her go back to Jakku. 

“Does it matter?” Her voice was careful and Ben realized she had surmised that he would hunt down each and everyone one of her prior enemies. He gave her a razor edged smile.

“Not if you don’t want me to visit Jakku.” His voice was soft and dangerous and Rey bristled at his tone. She glared at him.

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can. But I’m just saying--I can be your second.” Rey snorted and, shaking her head, returned to the diagrams. After a moment, Ben joined her and they spent several hours, heads bent over the drawings. Ben eventually went into his lab, leaving the door open, Rey following, her eyes gleaming with interest as she took in all of the weapons he had been creating with cogs and aether. He had expected her to despise him for it when he first met her but her practical mind had convinced him otherwise. 

He could never explain this to Rosalind, he thought bitterly, as Rey bent over and examined the tread on the aether tank. She pulled off her robe to reveal brown leggings and a loose white tunic. Ben’s eyebrows rose, swallowing hard as she crouched down to look closely at the chest high prototype, the sleep leggings clinging to the soft curve of her behind. He turned his gaze away, shifting himself to gather a box of tools, willing his blood to cool. 

He called down an assistant to bring them dinner, pressing enough credits into the young man’s hand that he knew the food would arrive quickly. Rey devoured the soup and noodles, moving between the bowls on the work bench and the tank, tools in hand as she worked to improve his machine. Under her direction, he removed the compressor and re-routed the lines. 

They stood next to one another, sweat beading down their backs, staring at the tank. Rey leaned over to pat the top of it.

“I think it could run. You just need to complete the activation spell.”

“But not tonight. A mistake could cost us,” Ben replied as he wandered over to collapse in his leather chair. He was exhausted. A morning breakfast with diplomats, his training session, war council, and now working til the early morning on his project. If he could get it to work tomorrow, perhaps Croytan could avoid a war. 

Rey had wandered back to her area and he headed over to see her reading a letter, a seamstress tape dangling from her fingers. She looked slightly puzzled, her lips moving as she read the instructions. Ben chuckled and strolled across the room to her. 

“Let me help you. Jessika making you a dress?

“Yes--wait. How did you know?”

“She’s the only seamstress in town who mother trusts.” He knelt down in front of her, looking up at her. “We’ll start here, at your hips. At the widest part.”

“That’s hardly polite,” Rey mumbled as Ben wrapped the tape around her, fingers grazing against her hips as he adjusted the tape. He read the number off to her and she marked it on the paper. He slowly rose, his breath brushing against her thin tunic, and she shivered slightly. She was musky smelling with sweat and paper and grease and he wanted to press his nose against her, revel in her. 

She was trembling as he pulled the tape around her, tugging her toward him, her feet dragging. He never let his eyes leave hers, drinking in the bright hazel color, the hope warring with anxiety. He read the number and she shakily exhaled as she wrote the number down. 

“Lift your arms up, Rey,” he instructed in a breathy voice. She did as told and he wound it around her ribcage just under breasts, reading the number before adjusting the tape to rest above the curve of her breasts, his fingers brushing against her nipples taut against the fabric. She inhaled sharply and his heart smashed against his ribs. 

“Well, now you know everything about me,” she tried to quip, her voice faltering at the end. He wanted to kiss her, take that full mouth in his, but he couldn’t, he shouldn’t. A flirtation was one thing; this would be something more. He was facing marriage soon; he couldn’t get in too deep; his hand was resting on her hip and she had wrapped her hand around the back of her neck and the room felt heavy, still. Her eyes were dark with need and he knew she was calculating the risk as much as he was. He reluctantly moved one foot back and she surged up to press a sloppy kiss on his bottom lip. He didn’t care, pulling her tightly against him, encircling her tiny body with his arms, his mouth open over hers, suckling her full bottom lip, her tongue, her jaw, chanting her name as if in prayer.  Her eyes were half closed, her mouth slack as he dipped his head to flick at the hollow in the center of her throat. 

“We can’t,” she managed to get out, laying one hand on chest.

“We can, I promise,” he murmured in her ear, nuzzling her. She pulled out of his embrace and he felt hollow, lackluster. 

“You’re a prince. I’m a nobody. And I won’t be another notch in your bedpost,” she said in a hurry, her words jamming together, as she braced herself back on her arms against the table. Ben watched her pull away, a predatory feeling crawling out of his belly and up his throat. He suppressed the growl that threatened to leak out. He wanted this woman, dammit. 

“As you wish,” he said softly instead, reaching over to take her hand in his. He turned it over, palm up, to lay a kiss on the inside of her wrist, opening his mouth to briefly flick his tongue over her pulse. “But remember--I am yours to command, Rey.” He drew himself up and walked away, gathering his bag and heading up the stairs. Rey held her wrist to her chest, her face flushed, and her eyes dazed. About half way up, the beginnings of panic pooling in his stomach, he heard her say” “Don’t go.”

He paused on the steps and replied: “Yes?” 

“Don’t go. Stay,” she pleaded, shame coloring her cheeks. He knew his relief was showing as well, saw her acknowledge it with some of her own. She came up to the stairs, taking them quickly to reach up and link her hand in his. She was uncertain, licking her lips, and he squeezed her hand. 

“I won’t do anything you won’t ask for, Rey,” he promised, he warned, all at once. She nodded jerkily and he followed her down the stairs. At the bottom, she hesitated and he took over, placing his hand on the small of her back, as he lead her to the spare room, hoping his eagerness didn’t overwhelm her enough to decide abandon the rest of the morning. He turned to face her in the small space and she wrung her hands. He waited. 

“Just, just hold me. Kiss me,” she finally said in a hoarse voice.

“As you command, my lady,” he hummed into her hair, kissing the top of her head, his hands gliding down her shoulders. “But first let me relax you.” He led her to the bed and sat her down on the floor on her knees, her back facing him. He had learned this technique from the Islands of the Golden Sea, and began to knead the muscles at her neck, down her back, her breath catching as she leaned into him. She let her eyes flutter close and he willed himself to think that if this was all that happened, he could be happy with it. 

They spent the dawn hours learning each other’s lips, the dips, and folds, tasting each other until drunk. She shied away as he trailed a finger between her breasts and he brought his hand back up quickly to cradle her face as he layered kiss after kiss on her cheeks, counting the freckles with each press of his lips. He did not press her for more, devoting his attention to caressing her neck, running his fingers through her hair, constantly pulling back to assess her dreamy expression. 

For the first time ever, Ben found himself sleeping next to a woman without undressing her. He could tell they were both left aching from the encounter but her eyes had lightened and she looked more sure of herself, her lips swollen, her hair tumbled around her face. The fragility he had glimpsed gone as she snuggled down next to him and closed her eyes to sleep, his body spooning hers.  And as he listened to her breathe, he thought that this is why his mother was willing to give up the throne. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble brews

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading. I deeply appreciate it. 
> 
> This one starts in the present and ends in the past.

They settled into a new rhythm at the house. Rey moved in with Ben but deliberately left her clothes hanging conspicuously in her closet. It was the beginnings of a compromise, she thought, still strangely unsure around him, convinced in some moments that the looks that passed over his face belonged to another Ben. One without easy assurance, one without compassion, given to fits of anger that left glassware in pieces. He cared for her, she was sure, but he was often locked inside himself, silent and withdrawn. 

Their lovemaking, which he seemed to be determined to occur every night, was coarse, frantic, without the caresses and tenderness she had grown to adore. He would always kiss her sweetly afterward, tend to her wounds with such agony on his face she was sure that he was two different people. The bruises on her hips, neck, and shoulders concerned her, knew they would draw Leia’s curiosity, and she hid them, biding her time to see if Ben would come into balance. He was strangely possessive of her, following her around the house, a grim shade that lurked in the doorways. Other times, he was almost sweet, tucking a flower behind her ear, massaging her shoulders and back after a rough morning at sea, reading her to sleep one night. She was torn, careful, observing. She slid a knife into her boot each morning, not fully understanding why. 

Leia began to take Ben out with her, mostly to survey the perimeter. Poe began to show up at dinner, the meal becoming grim as they plotted how to take back Croytan from Emperor Snoke, Ben sullen as the conversation lengthened. There were whispers that the First Order was going village through village, searching for Resistance members. So far, Leia explained, the Resistance was just a rumor, but one Snoke took seriously. He did not seem to believe, her spies reported, that Leia had been killed when they bombed the palace. 

Bombed, a new word, Rey marveled as she checked the traps around the house. She remembered Ben showing her, years ago, his idea for an aether exploder but had decided not to pursue it. The ethical implications troubled him but it seemed Uthos, under Snoke, had no such compunctions. They had burned entire towns to make a point. Alderaan had been a smoking ruin when they had fled under cover one night, laced tight into the false bottom of a mechanical carriage. Rey still carried the scar on her shoulder from the sword lancing through the leather side and slicing her. She had bit her lip hard to prevent from crying out and thanked the Maker the stormtrooper was too dense to see blood on his blade in the dying embers of the city. 

That morning, Poe and Leia were secluded in the study, heads bent over the intel Rey had fished out of the sea earlier. Ben had locked himself into the library, nose buried in a book. Rey refused to mope and kept herself busy, filling a bucket with soap and attacking the windows with vigor. Sweat coated her back, stuck to her shirt at her armpits, and she contemplated for the third time that morning hacking off all of her hair.  It was not her first day thinking it and it wouldn’t be her last in the stinking swamp they had come to, dodging the Knights of Ren along the way. 

She flung the rag into the bucket and scowled at the heavy sky. She had raced the clouds back to shore, lightning strikes in the distant, but now they just hung pregnant and growly, gloom pervading throughout the thin trees dripping moss. 

“Rey!” a cheerful voice called and she craned her neck to see Finn dashing through the trees, breathing heavily. She grinned broadly and ran down to embrace her friend. 

“You made it!” 

“Yeah, rough go though. Is Leia here?”

“She’s with Poe, in the study. How did you escape Tuanul? I heard they burnt it down.” Finn became grave, frowning, as they linked hands and headed back to the house. He stopped short as Ben walked out on the porch, hands clenched by his sides.

“Rey,” he said quietly. “I’ve been looking for you.” Rey tried not to shiver, knowing Finn would sense it immediately. 

“I was out working,” she explained quickly. “Finn just arrived to meet mother. You remember Finn?” She shot Finn a quick look, her panicked expression saying volumes. Finn stepped away and snapped a salute. 

“Sir. I have arrived with intelligence for the General and Commander Dameron.” Ben said nothing, his eyes flickering between their hands, narrowing in thought. After a still moment, Rey’s heart picking up in speed, he slipped back through the doorway and Finn exhaled forcefully. He turned to glare at her. 

“Rey, what was that?” 

“It’s nothing. It’s just him now.”

“He was never like that! Not even on the battlefield!” Finn was frowning, whispering roughly.  Rey drew him aside, her neck hairs prickling with the awareness that Ben was watching them through the kitchen windows. 

“Leia says this is normal, that people come back from war changed.” 

“Ben was never like this, I swear, Rey. He was always so focused, so dedicated. He would remind us that we were fighting for Croytan, that the war for aether gems had changed to one of defense. We had to protect our people,” Finn’s eyes grew distant as he spoke and she knew that he had seen horrific things. Finn shuddered and looked away. She waited as he pulled himself together, rubbing his arm soothingly the back of her knuckles. 

“He wasn’t the same after Han died,” Finn said soberly. “And he stopped talking about you, especially after, well, you know. ” Her lips trembled and she offered a strained smile.  

“The First Order did not care about who stood in their way, Rey,” he choked out. “We cannot let Snoke stay in power.” Rey nodded and looping her arm through his, walking with him up the stairs and into the house, Ben scowling at her from the kitchen table. She rapped sharply on the study door and a moment later, it swung open to reveal a worn Leia sitting at the desk, Poe grinning warmly at Finn. 

“You made it!” Poe nearly shouted with glee and pulled Finn into a tight hug. Rey smiled softly as the two men kissed, Finn laying his head on Poe’s shoulder. She gave a quick nod to Poe and drew the door closed, turning to run straight into Ben. 

“Rey, I’m hungry and waiting for food,” he grumbled.

“You can cook,” she all but snapped, pushing past him to head out into the fields. 

“Your food is better.”

“You didn’t used to say that,” she shot back as she gathered her items to head out and find some vegetables. As she opened the door to leave, a large crack sounded and the heavens opened up, rain lashing down at the ground. She held back a small scream and dumped her bag on the ground, clenching her jaw tightly. Ben came up behind her and began to knead her shoulders and impatiently, she pushed him away. 

“Why is it that Finn can be dedicated to the cause but you can’t? Other than when your mother drags you out, you refuse to be part of the Resistance.” Her anger came crashing down hard and she wanted to break something, wanted to pummel her fist into his face. He was a betrayal of her husband, she seethed. 

“Finn was just a foot soldier,” Ben tossed back, his dark eyes flashing. “He doesn’t have to bear the bodies of everyone he sent out. How many letters did I write, Rey, telling mothers that their sons wouldn’t be coming home? Telling wives that their husbands were dead?” 

“Would anyone have bothered to tell me you were dead?” she snarled. He scoffed. 

“You were a princess. I’m sure you would have gotten the news.” He began to walk out and she darted in front of him, blocking his path. 

“You never wrote, Ben, not after D’Qar. I had to beg for news of you from visiting spies and scavenge reports to hear what you were doing. Why? Why cut me out?”

“Like you would care. I thought you had your own little cadre to soothe you.” His voice was chaotic, his throat thick with tension. “Is that what Finn was? A little something to ease the pain of your nights?” Rey blinked rapidly, tears blurring her vision, and stepped away from him. 

“How dare you. I was never anything but faithful to you, Ben.”  He tilted his head to look at her. 

“Return my grandmother’s ring and I’ll know it. Until then….” he pushed past to her to head up the stairs, Rey clutching her belly, anger burning through her, her body trembling. He added in a cruel voice: “Don’t think about sleeping elsewhere, Rey. I still value this marriage and want to make it work.” 

“Why?” she whirled around, not caring that hot tears were spilling down her face. He gazed down at her imperiously and she could almost not recognize him through his arrogant mask.

“If anything? To remind you that you are mine. You should remember, Rey. I don’t like to share.” He returned to his slow ascent and she ran out to the porch to vent her rage as the sky split with a blinding white flash and rolled with a loud peal of thunder. The hot rain soaked her, the water blending with her furious tears as she seethed in the growing darkness. 

* * *

* * *

She wasn’t sure how she made it through class that day, positive everyone could see her glowing, positive they knew she had woken up next to the crown prince. Her, the scavenger from Jakku. No one ever claimed to be from Jakku. The scholarship student, the oddity who spent more time in the lab with Skywalker than in class. She spent a good twenty minutes in front of the mirror that night trying to figure what it was he saw in her and drew wobbly conclusions, chewing on her lip, when a knock interrupted her. She had opened the door to see Ben, covered in an ugly brown robe, which she quickly pulled off of him as he hungrily crushed his mouth to hers, molding his body against hers. Heat pooled in her belly and she pulled back, gasping for air before he claimed her lips again.

Ben was a patient teacher, Rey thought. Her life had been forever transformed. They had spent almost every night together in the past weeks. He never pushed for more than she gave which seemed to encourage her to explore. For everything he tried with her, she turned it around. He spent one night dedicated to her breasts, kneading them, nibbling them, sucking so hard at one point that she cried out, swearing her toes were curling underneath her. She had returned the favor the following night, his hands keeping her from reaching down his trousers and helping him find completion.

The night he had slid below her and take her in his mouth had been of excruciating embarrassment combined with an orgasm so intense, she was sure she was going blind. Her cheeks crimson, he had kissed her gently afterwards, gazing at her fondly as she experimented with him. 

The results proved highly interesting and she had pondered variations instead of writing out the equations Luke had dictated to her. 

Rey was inexperienced but not naive. She had witnessed more than a few couplings while in Jakku. Niima Outpost was an oasis of culture in an otherwise arid desert and the occupants all too familiar with one another to have any shame. The price of water was steep and occasionally easily resolved with spread legs than hours scavenging in the deserts for something to trade. Rey had not tread down that path but Unkar Plutt had more than once offered it to her. 

Sex, from that point, had been seen as something distasteful. 

But with Ben, she marveled, everything seemed dream like, an illusion. She was kidding herself, she knew. Just last night, she had witnessed him romancing the countess Bazine, all dark and slender, slinky on the dance floor with her swaying hips. There he was Prince Organa-Solo, heir, and future husband for some royalty. Here, in the cramped spare room, he was Ben, vulnerable, tender. 

One afternoon, weeks after their successful working together, they were entwined together on the tiny bed in the still and humid room, sweat clinging to them. She hitched her breath as he ran his hand down her belly, edging closer to the apex of her thighs. She tugged him down for a kiss and arched her hips to meet his fingers. He obliged with a sensual smile and she knew she was sunk. She had known it the first morning she had woken up next to him, his tousled hair and boyish smile, the bristles on his face rubbing her mouth raw and pink as he devoted his waking hour to kissing her senseless. 

She gasped as he bit gently on the underside of her breasts, plunging one thumb into her open mouth which she sucked greedily until he groaned. He was hard, she could tell, pressed against the side of her hip and she fought the urge to mount him and relieve the growing ache clenching between her thighs. The room was too hot, too still, their panting loud. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered and rolled over to her belly, tucking her arms under her chin. She tried to reason through her cloudy brain and bit the inside of her cheek to focus. Ben sighed and began running his hand down her back, gently squeezing her ass. 

“It’s hard for me too, Rey. I loathe the baron, hated watching his hands all over you last night.” Rey turned to glower at him.

“And you think I like Bazine all over you? You know the rumors don’t you? That you sneak out of her chambers every night?” Ben rolled his eyes before leveling a stern gaze at her. 

“You believe that do you? Given I wake up here every morning.”

“Not always here,” she said sullenly.

“You’re right. Sometimes I wake up in my bed next to you.” He leaned over to peck at her cheek, her forehead. 

“I can’t do this anymore, Ben. It’s too…” She froze at the startled look on his face. “What?”

“You’re ending it? Because I have to do these functions, flirt with people, as part of my role?” An angry flush was beginning to creep up his face and Rey shook her head quickly. 

“No, no, no. I just,” she bit her lip before blurting out: “I’m jealous. I don’t want to share you. This, this means so much to me, our time together. You’re one of the only people to see me for me. You and Luke.”

“Please don’t tell me you don’t want to share Luke either,” he deadpanned and Rey, in spite of her panic, chuckled.

“No, of course not! I have to share him with snot nosed first years.” They giggled together and in the quiet that followed, Ben reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear. 

“Listen, Rey. I understand. It would,” he paused to cast around for the right words. “It would be unconscionable of me to keep you as my mistress.” Rey hung her head, a coldness gripping her heart. The pleasure they were seeking in one another moments ago was forgotten in the reality of who was in the room. 

“I wish I could be content with just a summer fling,” she confessed. “But I think the problem is, I care too much for you. I wanted to punch that woman in the nose last night when she insulted you.”

Ben chuckled dryly: “That lady is Cerise and she’s a member of royalty and has a seat in Parliament. Besides, she was jealous that I had danced twice with you, a nobody, and had refused her. Which, by the way,” he added hastily, “I should not have done. But you were ravishing and Baron Hutt was drooling all over you, the pig.” 

Rey smiled thinly.  “It seems we are at an impasse.”

“It seems we are.” He pulled her to him and kissed her. She lost track of time, her fingers threaded through his long thick hair, his mouth soft, his minty breath cool on her hot tongue. She couldn’t deny the heat growing between her thighs but she knew her heart. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t let herself be used up and thrown away. She had to matter, she reasoned, as she lay in his arms later, listening to him snore softly. 

Rey got up and slid on her leggings and tossed on a tunic, padding out the door. She froze when she saw Leia and Luke sitting on her table, Luke reviewing her drawings. He looked up at her, grim faced and shaggy, and her heart plummeted into her stomach.

She lifted her chin and headed toward the small stove. She felt their eyes tracking every move. 

“Is that tea from the Golden Islands?” Leia asked, her voice chilly. Rey nodded. Leia sighed. “Make Luke and me a cup. We’ve much to discuss.” It was quiet except for the rustling of papers and the closing of drawers as Rey prepared three cups of the tea. Her hands were shaking and she spilled tea leaves when spooning them into the infuser. She assumed Leia had liked her and had not considered the consequences of Ben’s family finding out. 

She carried the tray over and laid gently on the table, preparing Luke’s tea for him automatically. He had accepted it, placing a warm hand on her shoulder.

“Sit down, Rey.” She sat, her hands folded in her lap, twisting the edge of her tunic. 

“Are you taking precautions, Rey?” Leia began. Luke choked on his tea and Rey turned scarlet. No one said anything, Leia looking steadily at the younger woman. Rey did not answer. 

Leia stirred sugar into her tea. “I only ask because if Ben does marry the countess, having a child by another woman does tend to complicate things.”

“Are you speaking from experience or from fear for your son?” Rey thought she should have been aghast at her tart tone but kept her face straight, her gaze cool. She understood how bullies worked and she would not be backed into a corner. 

Leia offered a thin smile. “Yes, there were lots of rumors about Han, weren’t there? Now, tell me. How long has this been going on?”

“It’s hardly your business, ma’am. We’ve been discreet. No one knows.”

“No one knows? How do you think I found out about it? Did you two honestly believe he could get you in and out of the palace without anyone knowing?,” Leia scoffed. “One day, I’ll teach that boy the value of servant gossip. I’ve known about this for about two weeks now. I indulged it because I thought it was a dalliance. Until I saw him intercede with you and Baron Hutt last night.” 

“Hutt’s a pervert, Leia, you know that,” Luke interjected. Rey could see the beginnings of anger, lines tightening around his eyes. 

“Yes and Han or you should have taken care of it. Not Ben. Now there are rumors flying about and I’ve got one resentful countess in my house,” Leia shot back. She turned her gaze toward Rey. “I’ll ask you again. Are you taking precautions?” 

Rey snarled: “There are no precautions to take because we’ve not had that type of relationship.” She rushed on. “I’m surprised at your majesty. I had thought from the kindness you had shown me that you would not disapprove of Ben and me.” 

“I  _ don’t _ disapprove of Ben being with you,” Leia countered. “I disapprove of your timing. If you two had been a little more patient, things could have been arranged. I would not be rushing you as I am.”

“Leia, what are you talking about?” Luke asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. Leia sighed impatiently and Rey perched on the edge of her chair, hardly daring to hope. 

“Han came back several days ago with information about your family, Rey.” Rey stopped breathing for a moment, her eyes wide with hope.

“My family? Are they okay? What happened?!”  Rey gripped the table hard until her knuckles turned white. Leia shushed her, laying her hands on top of Rey’s and stroking them soothingly, Luke moving to stand behind Rey. 

“Your parents are dead. I’m sorry, Rey. It’s why they never returned,” Leia’s eyes were soft and Rey felt hot tears rise up in her own. “Han uncovered more than just your parents though. You are Obi-Wan Kenobi’s great grand-niece through his half-sister. It’s not much of a connection, but we can use it.”

“Really? Obi-Wan?” Luke was astonished but Rey could hardly make sense of it through her tears. She wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. 

“I don’t understand.” 

“Obi-Wan Kenobi was one of the greatest alchemist of all time. He trained my father before he turned to the dark arts and led the battles against him,” Luke replied distantly. “My father killed him during the last war. Obi-Wan had begun to train me in the arts before he died.” 

“I’m sorry,” Rey said instinctively. Luke shrugged sadly. 

“He held a small fief in the northern part of this kingdom,” Leia added. “Stewjon. It was believed he died without family and since no one claimed it, Anakin took it as part of Croytan’s. But with this evidence, we can make you a member of the nobility. It would time to get the papers, verify your heritage. Set up Stewjon since I believe it was abandoned. Time enough for you to receive deportment lessons.”

“Time enough to arrange a wedding,” Ben growled as he ambled across the room. Rey turned, surprised, and he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. She tried not to squirm in embarrassment. “I’m sorry about your family, sweetheart.” She swallowed hard and leaned back against his chest, realizing Leia was eyeing them approvingly. 

“You were stupid to keep this from me, Ben,” she began sharply. “You know I would have aided you.”

“I had to be certain of it myself,” he replied, his deep voice rumbling against Rey’s back. 

“At least she was smart enough not to fall completely in bed with you.”

“Yes, excuse me, I’m sitting right here,” Rey said. Luke was wincing.

“I agree,” he added. Leia chuckled darkly.

“When you are queen, Rey, you will find that the people, especially those who are supposed to advise you, will know everything. They will even know how many times Ben visits your bed. Best learn now to ignore it.”

“Marriage is awfully quick isn’t it?,” Rey wondered. 

“No. I’m getting old and Croytan is preparing for war. A wedding is a distraction for the people and will deter Uthos from attacking, at least for a little while,” Ben answered.

“I would attack during a wedding,” Rey thought aloud. 

“It’s just not done.”

“Nothing they’ve done has been done before. I agree with Rey,” Luke said darkly. They sat in silence for a moment before Leia stood up.

“Time to head back. Rey, my assistant, Connix, will be arranging a time to meet with you. You will be taking deportment classes. We will announce, say in two weeks, that the long lost heir of Stewjon has been found. If you are as clever as I think you are, you will dazzle them all.” Leia leaned over and kissed Rey’s cheek. “I’ve always wanted a daughter like you.” She pinched Ben’s cheek, clucking over his foolishness, before exiting. They all exhaled after she left.

“Well, now, I’ll suppose you’ll stop seeing me because I have your mother’s approval,” Rey said sourly. Luke laughed drily. Rey had heard of Ben’s exploits. Ben only shook his head and bowing, picked up her hand to kiss it. 

“Never, my lady,” he smiled up at her. “I am afraid you are quite stuck with me.” 

“Now that it’s sorted, let’s get to work,” Luke commanded and began ordering them to resume their experiments, pointing out all of the mistakes in Rey’s equations, the sloppiness of Ben’s drawings. Rey setted into the rhythm, unable to believe her good luck, smiling broadly while thinking about their future certain happiness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's basically becoming a romance novel, isn't it? Oh well. 
> 
> So, what do you think is going on with Ben?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey uncovers uncomfortable truths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter moves between past and the present frequently.

Rey had tried to sleep on the couch but discovered that Ben was true to his word. He had sought her out and tossed her over her shoulder, her fists pummeling his back as he carried her up the stairs. Rey had noticed Leia peeking through a crack in the door but said nothing.

The rumor of a grandchild was too important, Leia had stiffly told Rey when she complained one morning of Ben’s rough bedroom manner. “It’s the war. Thing’s will change when you have a baby,” Leia had answered before slipping out of the room and Rey’s fury had bloomed when she realized that she was a pawn, yet again, in this war.

Ben dumped her on the bed, his mouth sliding down her throat. She shrieked, pushed him off, and he relentlessly returned. She kicked and punched, growling at him, undeterred when it became clear her resistance pleased him. He had a feral grin on his face when he lay his weight across her and she squirmed beneath him. When she finally realized he had finally asleep on top of her, fully clothed, she let out a trembling sigh and began to whimper. He awoke immediately, jumping up, his fists out, his eyes wild.

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” she shouted until he calmed down. He looked at her without comprehension for a few moments.

“I’m sleeping on the floor,” he mumbled, grabbing a pillow before laying himself down. She did not protest and lay awake, her heart hammering.

She hated him.

She hated that she still loved him for the man he was.

“I will never love anyone but you, Rey,” he breathed into the dark room. She shuddered and turned away.

He found her in the next morning in the woods, checking one of her traps. His lips sealed across the back of her neck, suckling at the base of her skull and she arched against him, furious, panting as his fingers dove into her trousers.

He left her unsatisfied.

“You have to say yes, Rey,” he demanded. “I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes,” she whined and he eagerly lifted her skirt, plunged himself into her, wet and eager.

“This is all we had between us, isn’t it Rey,” he groaned. She went through the rest of her day, sore but strangely elated. She had come to rely, she realized, on those moments of wild ecstasy to soothe the aches he left.

She loathed his temper, the cynicism he constantly spouted. Rey almost thought she hated him, most especially when he was tender, leaving her flowers at her bedside. The following night he had kissed each and every bruise, before sobbing on her chest, apologizing profusely.

“I don’t know how to be the man you knew,” he confessed. Her heart stung and she held him tightly to her. Dawn broke, cold grey light filtering into the room. Ben was asleep on his belly, Rey awake next to him, staring at the ceiling. She could see traces of Ben in him, she thought, underneath his cynical veil. Take the time, she repeated. Take care of him. She rolled over and looked at him, noticing for the first time a deep knot of scars on his right shoulder. She ran a light finger over it, snatching her hand back when Ben jerked away, grabbing for her wrist, twisting painfully. He was panting heavily, his eyes wild.

“It’s me! It’s me!” she cried loudly. A moment later, he came to his senses and released her. She cradled her hand to her chest, rubbing it gently with her other hand. Already she could see purple blooming and she grimaced.

“I’m sorry,” he stammered. “Just, that’s sensitive. Don’t touch it.”

* * *

* * *

She hated the way he could turn her in a second, steal her attention from whatever she was working on, into a panting, whining mess, his fingers curled inside of her, his lips moving against hers.

“Mine,” he would whisper.

“Always yours,” she replied the afternoon he slid the ring on her finger. It was his grandmother’s, Padme Amidala, and as ostentatious as she thought something from Padme’s collection would be. A gold band with a brilliant sapphire that stretched from one joint to the other, angular. Pointed, he explained, to help her draw alchemical circles. Gold wire was wrapped around it. Gold, a conductor for aether. Anakin had it made for his queen. Ben was giving it to her, a week before the wedding, to show his favor.

They were in her rooms in the palace. Leia had made the announcement a few weeks ago and Rey had returned from her meeting with Parliament. The Prime Minister, an odious man with a rat like face, had walked around her slowly as if viewing her at the market. Leia had watched it with a detached look on her face, Ben glowering.

“She’ll do,” the prime minister finally stated. “At least, it’ll give the people something to talk about before we send them off to war. It’d be better for you two if you produce an heir and fast.” Ben started at that, snarling but Leia had placed a hand on his chest in warning. Rey’s face had warmed and she was relieved when Ben escorted her out, cursing under his breath.

“When I’m king, I’m getting rid of that man,” he had said.  He made his excuses to the war council, taking Rey to her rooms, and getting one knee to present the ring. The afternoon turned to evening, the bright sunlight fading to violet and peach as he drew her down on the bed, carefully removing her thick, heavy fabrics.

“There’s my Rey,” he whispered against her breast and she nodded, her mouth dry, arching her hips against him. She needed him, she thought desperately, her body aching.

“I can’t wait anymore,” she begged. He was tender in response, rolling onto his back and pulling her on top of him. She ground against him for a moment, her wet lips rubbing against his hard tip and he was groaning her name. They had played at this for so long that she knew what to do. Gripping his hands tightly, she slowly lowered herself onto him, inch by inch, wincing at a sharp pain as she took him in.

“This feels wicked,” she whispered when she sat on him, fully stretched around him. He did not move, letting her grow used to the feeling.

“You’re my wife.”

“Not yet.”

“Soon enough,” he declared and began moving his hips at a steady pace, her head falling back, as she moaned. “Mine,” he said, rearing up to bring her nipple in his mouth, her nails digging in his back. Her legs clenched tightly around him and she felt glorious, felt the power she had in that moment and let herself fall.

* * *

* * *

Ben did not seem to care if she was unwilling or not the next morning, taunting her with bites on her neck, nibbling her ears.

“Have to make an heir now, don’t we?” he grumbled when she pushed him away from her, leapt up to escape before he snagged her around the waist.

“Don’t fight it, Rey. You knew it was a princess’s duty.”

“Please, don’t,” she begged. He scowled at her but rolled away.

“I’m your husband,” he said with finality. “Think about that.” He stood up and stalked out of the room.

“I always do,” Rey said regretfully.

* * *

* * *

“I now pronounce you man and wife,” the archbishop proclaimed. Rey and Ben stood in their finery. She was laid down with so many jewels that she was surprised she could move. After the wedding came the coronation and the crown rested heavily on her head, her body tight in a white corset, her skirts voluminous around her. Ben chimed with every move, laden with medals, the ornate crown almost too small for his head.

Rey had been escorted into a separate room to change for the feast Leia came in and whisked off the state crown, nestling a small diamond tiara in Rey’s hair. It had been brushed two hundred times and pulled into an intricate braid that trailed down her back. She had insisted on wearing the sapphire ring throughout the ceremony, although it clashed with tradition.

“My lady,” Leia smiled. “Now, let us celebrate with your people.”

“They aren’t mine,” Rey frowned.

“Not yet. Make them yours,” Leia encouraged, linking her arm through hers and leading her out into the ballroom, festooned with ribbons and flowers.

Rey assumed the night was going well, scowls turning into slight smiles as she ensured that she spoke to each and every courtier and guest. She had enjoyed dancing with Han the best, she admitted to herself. He had joked with her and spent a good portion of the dance discussing mechanical issues with the Falcon. Rey felt more useful there, asking if she could explore it, much to Han’s pleasure.

Despite the sumptuous feast, the mood was not quite as elated as Leia had hoped. Rumors from the border were not good. Men with scars on their bodies had been spied among the border town, styled as the Knights of Ren. Vicious, seemingly intent with sparking a war as they raided a town at the foot of the mountains. Parliament had responded by sending troops and a diplomatic envoy rushed to Uthos. The prime minister was still trying to avoid the inevitable war.

Rey had spent the last few nights listening to Ben ramble about the stories about the Knights of Ren, each one designed to strike fear in the hearts of the Corytanese. Rey, used to such tactics in Jakku, had scorned them. Ben had frowned at her dismissal and kissed her forehead before returning to intelligence reports. He didn’t share her sentiments, it seemed.

They were in the midst of yet another round of toasts when  a courier came running in and up to Leia. Ben rose to listen and Rey paused, unsure of what to do. Han’s eyes met her and Rey knew.

Uthos had chosen to attack.

Fort Hosnia, Ben told her, had been completely destroyed.

Her wedding was over.

* * *

* * *

“Why can’t you at least care about your people? They are suffering!” Rey shouted at Ben in the woods. He had trailed after her again, his face grim. Snap had wandered over to greet her but upon spying Ben, had slunk away. Rey kicked the base of a tree and whirled around to glare at Ben.

“I do. It would be best if they stopped resisting. Snoke is merciless.” His calm in face of her anger enraged her further.

“If that’s the case, why do you insist that we need a child?”

He gave her a pitying look. “Oh, Rey. The heir is an excuse.” He walked toward her slowly, a menacing gleam in his eyes. “I’ve been so long without you. I’m just making up lost time. After all,” he leaned down to look at her, all but purring. “You must have missed me too.”

“You aren’t who you are when you left.”

“I’ve seen the true ways of the world,” he retorted. “It’s every man for himself. No one truly cares for one another.” Rey gulped.

“If you believe that, then let me be,” she said in a dry voice. He chuckled darkly.

“No, Rey. See, I truly care about you. When I was dying on the field, when my face received this ugly scar that sent you scurrying the night I came home, it was only the thought of you that kept me going.”

“Then give me space!”

“Then tell me--what happened to my grandmother’s ring?” Rey thinned her lips and looked away. Ben snorted. “They told me women were hardly faithful. There were rumors, you know, about my mother and General Calrissian. I never believed them. But I guess if you can’t be faithful, perhaps they were right after all.” He trailed one finger down her cheek and she tried not to wince.

“You were never cruel, Ben.”

“I was, Rey. Just never to you. I thought you were someone special. Imagine my surprise, when you turned out to be just like everybody else.”

“I was always faithful to you. I loved you.”

“Loved?,” he mocked. “The problem I have Rey is that I love you when I know I shouldn’t.”

He backed away from her, his eyes cold. She swallowed hard and thought about the night Ben discovered the ring was missing.

* * *

* * *

Ben was often gone in war councils, often out showing his weapons they had created together to the generals.

Princesses were not allowed to participate in war. Leia had, since her youth, but they were keeping Rey locked up. She had missed her monthlies and everyone was breathless with anticipation that she would give birth to an heir so soon. While she enjoyed free access to the palace’s kitchen, Rey wilted under the crown. She hated having to be so watchful all the time of what she said, how she ate, what she wore. She still was humiliated after her first lesson with Connix who chided her over her barbaric dining manners.

Ben had anticipated her reaction and had built a large lab for her. He also showed her the research library where she often spent hours reading. She sat there now, pouring over a tome she had found on mechanicals and alchemy. It would be possible, the book theorized, to create an army out of machines. She was doodling in the margins, scratching out equations and rough schematics.

A maid came in bearing a letter. She curtsied and handed it to Rey who smiled her thanks. She was still uncomfortable with people serving her in every aspect of her daily routine. She flipped open the note and scanned her, her face growing grim.

 _I see you have come up in the world. I expect full payment for guardianship or I will let the world know your true history, Rey._ She scowled at the scrawl. Unkar Plutt. _Meet me in the Inn of the Owl  at midnight with suitable payment or I will make sure everyone finds out about you._

Trembling, Rey dashed down the corridors to Leia’s private study. She entered without knocking to find Leia deep in papers, a troubled frown on her face. The princess looked up and her mouth dropped open.

“Rey, you’re trembling! What’s the matter?,” she rose from her seat and came around. Rey hurried toward her and grasped the older woman’s arms.

“You promised you’d help me,” Rey ground out. “No matter what, you said.” Leia stilled.

“Rey, what is it?” The younger woman offered her the letter which Leia grimly took. She read it over and shot Rey a curious look.

“I killed someone,” Rey whispered. “It was him or me and I couldn’t see a way around it. He had followed me back to my hut. He was going to….” she trailed off, unable to finish her sentences. Leia nodded, following easily.

“I can see now what the trouble would be,” she said, tapping the letter against her palm. “If you paid him off, would he be true to his word?”

“He might come back for more,” Rey admitted. Leia snorted.

“Like that is it? Well,” she sighed wearily. “I can’t fight wars on two fronts. I’’ll give you a large purse from my personal fund. Toss in a few of the rubies you got as a wedding present and it should keep him quiet for a while. Once this business with Uthos ends, we’ll handle him.” She walked back to her desk before pausing. “Why not tell Ben?”

“Because he’ll kill him,” Rey answered simply. “He’s guessed enough of my time at Jakku that he has become protective. He’s not even letting me get up to get food since he believes I’m pregnant.”

“Are you?” Rey shook her head ruefully.

“I doubt it. I grew up almost starving. I’m almost always irregular,” the girl confessed. Leia pursed her lips before laughing.

“Tell my son would you? It’ll ease his mind with the war and he is critical to our success,” Leia requested with a light voice. Rey curtsied and left the room.

That night, she dressed simply in a plain dress, and slid out of the palace, using one of the servants’ staircase. Leia’s heavy purse banged against her thigh as she hurried out into the dark to the Inn of the Owl.

* * *

* * *

Ben had tossed the dining room table over, the food and plates crashing to the ground.

“Perhaps, mother,” he ground out. “You should have just let Uthos win.”

“How could you say that, Ben?” Leia shot to her feet, her fists clenched at her sides. Poe had angled himself behind her and Rey, weary of it all, stayed in her seat.

“Perhaps if you cared about anything other than yourself, you could have seen how Snoke would have ruined everything!” Ben fired back before kicking at the table. Rey lifted her feet up to avoid being swiped. With a curse, Ben flung a glass across the room and stomped up the stairs. A heavy silence hung in the room.

“That is not Ben Solo,” Poe said.

“Tell me about it,” Rey sighed, getting up to clean up the mess.

* * *

* * *

Rey scurried down the alley way until she arrived at the Inn. It was a squalid looking place, smashed between two other small ale houses. Fighting spilled outside of one and she ducked to the side to avoid receiving a glancing blow. With a frown, she entered the dank and sour smelling place, the rooms dim with candles rather than the more elegant aether, smoke filling the place. She found Unkar immediately in a corner booth, a large leg of meat in front of him. His frame filled the booth and she repressed a shudder as she neared him. She could not, however, ignore the pleased look on his face as she neared.

“Well, well, well.  You came. I knew you would,” he sneered. She sat across from him and pulled out the purse, dumping it on the table.

“That should meet your needs.”

“Should it?” he purred, pulling the fat bag to him and opening it. His eyes hidden in the folds of his fat gleamed as he plucked out a ruby the size of a robin’s egg. He rolled it between his thick fingers, licking his lips.

“Perhaps it shall, little Rey. Perhaps I shall not whisper about how you murdered that sweet young man.”

“He was hardly sweet,” Rey retorted.

“Yes,” Plutt drawled, reveling in her squirming. “But Teedo lost all of the claims against him.”

“Lost, I bet,” Rey countered, snarling. She stood. “That is more than what you will make in several years, Plutt. It is more than what you asked for.”

“As usual, you exceed my expectations.” He chuckled thickly and grabbed her hand in his meaty fist. “What is this? Trying to escape with the best part?”

She scowled, trying to twist away, realizing suddenly that she had forgotten to take off her sapphire ring and that Unkar was hungrily staring at it.

* * *

* * *

Rey slid in bed next to Ben, wrapping her arms around him. He stiffened and she crept away from him, pausing when he turned over to face her.

“I won’t do it again, Rey,” he vowed.

“Fight a war or toss over tables?” she responded wearily.  He offered her a rueful smile and pressed his lips to her forehead.

“The former. I can’t promise the latter.”

“Maybe you should,” she said sourly. “We’re running out of dishes.” He chuckled and began running his hand up and down her arm.

“I missed your humor, Rey,” he said hoarsely, scooting forward to kiss her. She let him, enjoying the feel of his full lips against hers. In the darkness, repentant, he was her old Ben. She allowed herself to relax, to be gathered in his arms.

“I just want to forget,” he murmured against her throat.

“Let me help,” her lips brushing his hair. He shuddered and laid his cheek on her stomach. She began running her fingers through his hair.

“You’re the only one I truly know, Rey,” he said before burying his face in her belly, licking a stripe down to the apex of her thighs. Rey closed her eyes and let herself become lost in the pleasure he wanted to bring to her in bed. The only thing, she thought, he felt he still knew how to do.  

* * *

* * *

 

“Gimme the ring and no one will ever need know you were here,” Plutt growled.

“No,” Rey shot back, tugging at her arm. Plutt tightened his grip and Rey tried not to whine.

“What’s this?,” someone wandered over, his eyes hard and his mouth grim. “ Could it be the new princess?”

“No, I, I’m sure you’re mistaken,” Rey gasped. The man leered and leaned forward.

“Oh I think it is. And I think I saw next door the hotshot reporter for the paper,” he whispered in her ear. “Give ‘em the ring love and something for me to remember you by and no one will ever know you were here.” She shook her head and he stepped back and opened his mouth.

“Oy! Look--” he shouted.

“Stop!” Rey screamed. She breathed heavily and looked around. Plutt snorted. She cursed herself inwardly. She should have expected a trap. Too much time around kindness had softened her, she thought. Never again.

In a lower voice she said, “Alright, I’ll give you what you want. But you must promise to leave us alone.” Plutt grinned darkly and roughly took the ring from her finger. Rey tried not to sob, tried not to feel as if her heart were being ripped from her. The other man held out his hands. She unclipped her diamond teardrop earrings and dropped them in his outstretched hands. He smiled widely, revealing broken and brown teeth before sliding in the booth across from Plutt.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” the fat man rumbled. Rey turned and fled, her mind racing,rubbing the empty finger where a ring used to sit.

She pretended to be asleep when Ben slipped under the sheets next to her, gently planting a kiss on her shoulder before he dropped into sleep, his soft snores keeping her company as she stared out the window, wondering how she would tell her husband and prevent a massacre. He would kill Plutt and the other man with no compunction, would brood on it, distracting him from the war.

For his sake, she reasoned, she would not tell. And when asked, would state that she lost it in the lab. She slipped out of bed and dressed quietly, moving down the halls past servants heading up to wake the royal family and down into the lab Ben.

It would work, she thought. It would have to and he would forget all about it.

* * *

* * *

Rey found solace in the lab, reviewing Ben’s old notes on creating an aether grid. He had theorized that using phosphorus and gold, a protection area could be set up over a house or a field or a fort. She mused over them, trying to make sense of some of his scratchings, his writing growing more illegible as the war intensified. He had written: _If we follow down the same path as them, then does protecting our people give us moral ground? Or does it not matter when lives are in the balance?_ He had left the question unanswered and Rey became unsettled reading it.

She whiled away the afternoon perfecting the formula and tinkering with the spy bird he had also theorized and experimented in creating. His alchemy was good, his equations thorough, but his understanding of mechanics threadbare and she bent her mind to crafting a realistic looking bird.

Her well of creativity was gone, dried up since she became focused on day to day survival. The last couple days had yielded a poor catch and they were down to their last few crabs. She wasn’t sure what they would eat if she were unable to find more food. She had moved her traps to another area more southerly and had left Finn know in case the Resistance needed to slip some intelligence in her nets.

She rubbed her eyes, exhausted with balancing the daily survival with her increasingly confused husband and her need to experiment. Without practicing she would grow dull, Luke had warned before he had left. She needed to keep the fire in her going. _You are the fire, Rey. Our purifier. Don’t neglect your soul._

Then he had gone, leaving an ill and grieving Ben Solo on their steps.

She heard a heavy tread coming down into the lab and looked up to see Ben, his eyes red rimmed and his mouth turned down. She tried not to sigh. He was bearing a tray and he placed it in front of her.

“I figured you for some tea,” he greeted. She smiled gratefully and took a sip, coughing when she realized Ben had ladled cream and sugar into her tea when she took neither. He frowned.

“I got it wrong again, didn’t I?” he said sullenly. She shook her head and offered a stiff smile.

“It’s ok. I was just surprised by the heat.” And to prove him wrong, she picked up the mug again and took a deep swallow, hiding her grimace. He watched her carefully, nodding to himself, as she drank again.

“You’re a sweeter woman than I deserve, Rey,” he stated, picking up her hand and kissing it. She stared in amazement. He had not done so since his return. The courtly gesture reminded her so much of the time before that she tugged her hand and placed it behind her back. He stood awkwardly, shifting his weight before her. She cleared her throat.

“Now that you are here, could you explain your notes, actually? Your handwriting is rather cramped.” Ben shook his head, quickly retreating.

“I don’t do alchemy, Rey.”

“What do you mean, you don’t do alchemy?”

“I mean, I don’t do it anymore. I’m done. How many times must I tell you I have nothing to do with this previous life?” He was shouting now, his eyes shut tightly. She compressed her lips and put her hands on her hips. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

* * *

“Rey, where’s your ring?” Ben asked idly as they prepared for dinner. Leia had called in some of the richest landowners and nobility to dinner to urge them to join their side. Ben had wandered into Rey’s dressing room as her girl dressed her hair, threading diamonds throughout her hair wound around her head in a crown.

“I, uh, probably left it in the lab. Sorry,” she offered up an apologetic smile. Ben frowned thoughtfully.

“I didn’t realize you took it off to work.”

“Yes, I was doing some experimental work with sulfur and I did not want to harm it,” she hastily added, wincing as the girl accidentally tightened a braid too hard. She smiled again, trying to inject warmth into it.

“I’ll look for it tomorrow morning, ok? I’m sure it’s right on my lab table.” Ben nodded thoughtfully and helped her up as the girl smoothed down her gown.

“That’s quite a lovely color on you,” he remarked taking in her plum gown, a column on her lanky frame. She had complimented it with a chandelier necklace in a mix of diamonds and amethysts. “You look positively glowing, Rey. Absolutely magnificent.” She blushed deeply. The girl exited and Ben leaned in. “I saw your monthly courses started today.” She blushed again. He tipped her chin up to look at him. “Plenty of time to make an heir, my love,” he whispered before brushing her lips with his.

“Practice makes perfect,” she replied and he chuckled again, placing his arm through hers and exiting.

“And the practice is my favorite part. What were you were working on in the lab?” he asked and she explained her idea as they headed down into the dining room.

The next night after he returned from war council, haggard and worn, he had asked about the ring again, growing increasingly agitated at her stammering replies.  He tore the lab apart looking for it.

“That ring was made specifically by my grandfather for my grandmother, Rey,” he thundered. “I never took you to be careless.” Rey hung her head and he glowered at her. “Perhaps now you are decked night and day in jewels you don’t care for such a rough thing.” He glowered at her and Rey protested, reaching out for him. He stormed past her and ignored her during the family dinner.

“Well, I hate to leave you two, but I have to go. Chewbacca and I will investigate the claims of the Knights of Ren and return swiftly,” Han said at dinner, a cocky grin on his face. Rey toyed with her food, aware that Leia was watching her carefully. Someone entered and slipped Ben a piece of paper. He nodded and tucked it in his belt, waving off his mother’s questions.

“I’ll be joining the front lines soon,” Ben announced. “General Ackbar believes it’s best that I head up the alchemical contingent to make sure our weapons work.”

“The tests have done well,” Han stated.

“Yes but it’s hard to account for everything in a controlled environment,” Ben countered. Rey held her breath, tentatively reaching out to touch Ben’s hand.

“How long will you be gone?” He did not move his hand from hers.

“Several weeks,” he said. She only nodded and looked down at her plate, her stomach plummeting. She could not imagine the palace without him. He had brought her under his wing, pointed out when she made an error with a kind grin on his face, held her hand tightly every time they met a new lord or duke or member of Parliament.

“I’ll keep Rey busy,” Leia promised.

* * *

* * *

Rey was cleaning the rooms, confined to the house by a raging storm outside, the trees lashing against the windows, hail tapping on the roof. She moved into Ben’s room and began shuffling things around, folding his clothes, hanging up his cloaks. He had been carried home with a chest and she thought it was time to sort it out. She had shoved it in a room without looking into it and now knelt in front, snapping the locks open.

Inside were rumpled, musty clothes and a few notebooks. She pulled out the clothes, dumping them beside her to go into the wash. She began to flip through the books, frowning as the handwriting was unrecognizable. Cramped, tiny, with deep dark slashes across several pages. Deep in thought, she set them aside and moved aside a cloak to uncover a box. She pulled it out, surprised by its weight.

It was made of dark wood with heavy carvings along the rim and sides. She had never seen anything like it before. She tried to open it, gasping when she realized it was locked.

Looking around her and spying no one, sure they were all downstairs or in the study, Rey reached into her boot and pulled out her dagger. She jammed it into the lock, jiggling it around until she heard a soft click. Glancing over her shoulder, she opened the box and gazed down at surprise at letters, some bundled, in messy piles. She wondered if they were intelligence reports, if that’s why he had locked them away.

She sat the box on the ground and opened the letter at the top.

* * *

* * *

Ben had grown colder with Rey, no longer sleeping in her room. Rey was aware of the whispers, the sideways glances as she walked down into the lab. It was said that the prince was disappointed that she had proven barren. Leia had warned Rey about these naysayers and Rey squared her shoulders against them, striding quickly toward her safe haven. She found Ben leaning against the table, a hard look in his eyes. She trembled but lifted her chin and entered.

“I leave today, Rey,” he began. She paused.

“So soon? I thought…”

“Yes, we had more time. But I can’t spend time with a liar.” He slammed a hand on the table. “I told you I wouldn’t share you.”

“And you haven’t,” she replied, puzzled. He shook his head, anger flushing his cheeks.

“You were seen at the Inn of the Owl with a man, Rey,” he hissed. “How could you be so stupid?” Rey’s heart stuttered.

“It’s not what you think it is,” she said quickly. “Please let me explain.”

“No, I won’t hear of it. Did he take your ring? Did you give it to him as a token?,” he taunted, his face cruel. “I expect to know who it is, Rey. And when I do--”

“You’ll torture him, kill him,” Rey replied. “I know. You know I’ve never been with anyone before you, that you are the only one for me.” She was growing desperate, her eyes pleading with him. He looked unmoved.

“I have a war to lead, Rey. When I return in a few weeks, I want complete details. That should give you plenty of time to pay off people so you don’t see how cruel I can get,” he said coldly, walking toward her. He looked down at her as if he didn’t know her and Rey felt a tear slide down her cheek. He scoffed and brushed past her. Rey shook her head, angry at herself, angry at her own stupidity. She could not believe she allowed herself to deceive her husband, could not believe she did not fight harder. She punched the table before flopping to the ground and weeping.

* * *

* * *

Rey’s eyes grew wider as she read the letters. She must have spent well over two hours in a cramped position on the floor, pouring over each letter. Finally, she stood up, clear eyed and resolute. She stood up, stretching the muscles in her back before heading down the hallway to Leia’s room. She clutched a bundle of the letters to her.

Without knocking, Rey walked in. The room was empty, as she expected it would be. But propped on the wall was Anakin Skywalker’s ceremonial sword. It was sharp, she knew from experience. She took it down, removing it from the sheath and dropping the jeweled scabbard behind her as she exited the room, heading for the library.

She pushed open the door. Ben was reclining in a chair, reading a book. He looked up as she entered, his eyes shooting open as he saw the sword.

“Rey, my wife. What is the meaning of this?” he said quietly. Rey’s hand was shaking in fury as she raised the sword and pointed it toward his heart.

“I am not your wife,” she seethed. “I know who you are and I am not your wife.” His face grew colder as she spoke and he sat up, pressing his frame against the tip of the sword. He seemed pleased she thought.

“I am not your wife, Kylo Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things:  
> 1) Othello really is my favorite play by Shakespeare and I could not help but be inspired by the misunderstanding between Othello and Desdemona. Once an idea gets fixed in your mind, it is hard to shake it loose and cognitive science has proven that repeatedly. Additionally, Iago is one of my top fave villains and he knows he's villainous and he likes it.  
> 2) I do not mean to be dismissive of earlier statements about PTSD which does affect soldiers and can affect victims of domestic violence and abuse. It's very possible that Kylo also has it.  
> 3) I've got a carefully written outline and can't decide to stick strictly to it or head down Smut road for a bit longer. What do you think?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the revelation

Kylo chuckled, reaching up to brush the sword aside. Rey slashed toward him and he grabbed the blade, yanking it away, oblivious to the blood dripping down his hand. 

“Well done, Rey. Ben did say that you would be the first to figure it out,” he said in a droll tone. 

“Where is Ben?,” she demanded. He stood up, taller, broader, more powerful. She was disturbed by the coldness that had settled on his face. He no longer seemed the fragmented man she had grown used to and she stepped back. He smiled with all the knowledge of a predator sighting its prey, gazing at her with cool, flat eyes. If it came to a physical battle, she thought, she might not win. 

“Ben did not want to be with his lying, treacherous wife anymore. He grew so tired of your stories, Rey, how you weren’t honest with him,” Kylo oozed. “And as for his mother, well, when he discovered the truth about her….” He trailed off and shrugged offhandedly. Rey clenched her fists and shifted her weight beneath her. Kylo flicked his eyes over her figure bemusedly.

“You’re the liar,” she whispered. 

“I’ve quite enjoyed being your husband,” he drawled, leaning back against a table. Rey felt bile climbing up her throat and she pushed it down, her mind thick with dizziness. 

“You’re sick,”she spat. “Where is Ben? Did you kill him?”

“No, I didn’t. The truth is, Rey, if you had read all of the letters, you would have seen this switch was his idea.”

“Switch?”

“Don’t you know? I’m his twin. Separated at birth and raised,”--he smiled darkly-- “raised by Snoke himself.” Rey stifled a scream, turning on her heel to flee. But Kylo was quicker, darting in front of her, grabbing her tightly by the arms. 

“Let go of me, you monster,” she howled, kicking at his shins. But Kylo Ren, she discovered, was far more physically adept than Ben. He dodged her kicks and let go to backhand her. She stumbled back and tripped over the sword. She rolled and grabbed for it but he stomped on the blade. 

“This sword belongs to me,” he proclaimed regally. 

“You’re not a Skywalker,”she growled and rolled away, quickly jumping to her feet. She raced toward a window before being yanked back by the waist. Kylo flung her to the ground and she paused, ready to pounce as he lowered the sword to her throat. She gazed up at him, her face contorted with fury. 

“I was master of the Knights of Ren, my dear,” he purred. “Do you really think you can beat me?” She said nothing as he pressed the point to her skin. 

“Now, Leia is going to come in here and you will behave normally,” he ordered.

“As if I would let a murderer like you--,” Rey spat. 

_ “If  _ you want to see your husband again, you will do as I say,” he countered, arrogance in every line. She bristled at his lordly tone. “Otherwise, I’ll slaughter Leia and Poe and Finn and you know it.”

“You would need to kill me first.”

“My darling, I would never kill a masterpiece such as yourself. Kidnapping is really more up my alley with wives, anyways,” he offered her a disdainful smile and she growled at his courtly manner. “Pretend I had a fit and you came in to see me. Then we will talk. Deal?” She glared at him, giving him only a curt nod. He reached a hand down and she snatched hers away from him, rising steadily, never removing her gaze from his face. He seemed pleased by it all and she tried not to show her confusion. 

She would find Ben, she vowed, and then she would kill this man. 

“You won’t kill me,” he murmured as if reading her thoughts. She jumped back and he grinned and bowing, offered her the sword. 

“Play your part, Rey, and I will reward you,” he added. She took the sword from him and he stalked back to his chair, righting it, before sitting down. She watched in amazement as he re assembled his face into something pathetic, anguished, just as Leia dashed in, sword in her hand. 

“What happened?,” she demanded in a crisp voice. Kylo barely looked at Rey. She stiffened her back and replied:

“Ben had another fit. I came in here to assist him.” Leia took in the man slouched in the chair, his hair disheveled and Rey’s similar appearance. She tilted her chin toward the sword. 

“Why is my father’s sword in your hand?” 

“He, uh, was thinking about killing himself. One of his darker fit,” Rey flatly said with a grim face. Leia walked hurriedly over to Kylo and caressed his face, murmuring softly. For the first time, Rey watched how he leaned into her hand, how he closed his eyes almost in bliss. She remembered how she would discover them at breakfast, at the rude glances he would sometimes give her as she walked in when he was talking with his mother. 

Twins, she thought, her mouth turning down as she followed the train of thought. She walked dazedly past Leia and her son and up the stairs. She sat down on the bed in her old room, laying the sword flat across her lap. She knew he would come to her and she thought of his icy eyes, his civil manner, and his scars, running down his back, winding around his torso, thick on his thighs. 

She felt so stupid. She should have known that Ben would never be that scarred from the war. But after Snoke’s lightning bomb destroyed Alderaan City, she believed anything possible on the front lines. She hadn’t questioned anything--she knew he had been different yet she did not protest. She willingly took the proffered reason--war changed people. She had wanted her husband to return to her so badly, to adore her body the way he used to, that she had blindly fell into his trap. 

Rey’s eyes were dry, no trace that she had spent the last half hour with sobs wracking her small frame, when Kylo knocked on her door. When she bade him enter, he opened and sealed the door behind him before turning and gazing evenly down at her. 

“Tell me about Ben,” she said in a monotone. He cocked a brow and moved across the room to a chair in the corner. He sat and she became aware of how big he was, how broad his shoulders were, how much space he took up in a room. She noticed for the first time how he was clad in dark clothes, from the black trousers to the slightly paler hued shirt. They were silent, observing one another as the storm broke and sunlight filtered through her tiny window. 

“You don’t need the sword, Rey. I will never harm you.” 

“Never harm me?,” her voice cracked. “You call this lie you’ve been living as not harming me. Leia believes her son to be alive and I thought you were my husband.” She swallowed hard, blinking furiously. She refused to cry again, she would not cry in front of him. “You let me think you were my husband, you sick bastard.” 

“A bastard, ah, yes. That word has haunted me my whole life,” he said coolly, getting up and pulling a handkerchief from a pocket before handing it to her. Rey stubbornly ignored it and he dropped it on the bed beside her before returning to his seat. 

“How can Ben have a twin?” 

“It’s not all that unusual, really,” he began. “Luke and Leia were twins. Runs in the family. I, unfortunately, happened to be born after Ben and, as you know, twins are considered a sign of bad luck in Croytan.” He stopped and chuckled darkly. “And it looks like they are right, given that we are sitting here in this ugly old house and Snoke has destroyed the palace. And it seems my brother married a barren woman. Misfortune, indeed.” She took an instant dislike to his black humor, had when it first had begun to creep it out and she discovered she loathed it now, no matter how much truth was in his words. 

“The midwife took me away and raised me with her family in Uthos.”

“Did Leia know?” Kylo gave her a patient look and she wanted to blush from an obvious question.

“Are you here to kill us?”

“If I were, I would be a piss poor assassin if I said anything about it, wouldn’t I?,” he intoned laconically. Her temper flared at his words and he held up his hands. “You are safe from me.”

“Where’s Ben?”

“Now, as I see it, I’ve answered a lot of your questions, my lady Kenobi. You should answer a few of mine.” Rey fumed and stood, planting her hands on her hips. She shuddered as he ran his eyes down her body in open admiration. “Don’t get upset. You of all people should understand how a good bargain works.”

“I will not sleep with you,” she barked out harshly and he inclined his head. 

“No, I imagine you wouldn’t. But you should stay in the same room. I’ll take the floor. The less questions Leia asks, the more I’ll be able to give you about Ben.”

“Tell me where he is now!”

“The way I see it, Rey, you have something I want. And I have something you want. I’m open for a trade.” Rey chafed at his words and almost growled at him. The desire to punch him was nearly overwhelming and she had to close her eyes, slow her rapid breathing. She remembered from her time in Jakku--never let them spot a weakness. She surmised Kylo knew all of hers and wondered how. She let her mind drift over their conversation in the study before she opened her eyes to gaze coolly at him.

“Ben is alive and you expect him to remain that way.” She had the satisfaction at seeing him start before nodding. 

“Clever girl. But Ben did say you were brilliant.” 

“You want to stay here, stay with Leia,” she continued, ignoring his taunts. “You need me to go along with your cover. In return, I want information on Ben--how you met him, how he gave you information to be able to perpetuate this charade.” 

“That’s a lot for so little, Rey,” he drawled, stretching his long legs in front of him. “Here’s my end of the deal--each day you get to ask one question and if I am satisfied with your performance,you will get an answer.”

“You will answer no matter what,” she tartly shot back. He shook his head.

“You’re a terrible liar,” he said but without heat. He was flexing his fists on his thighs. “And to be frank with you, I’ve got too much invested in this. One question a day.” She stared at him flatly for one long moment before giving a curt nod of assent. He held out his hand and grimacing, she took it. 

“I’ll ask my first question now--how did you discover one another?” Kylo snorted and stood, stretching his arms above his head. 

“You’ve already had so many. But I’ll be lenient,” he said indulgently. Rey decided that she might not wait much longer to stick a knife in his heart. “We were on the battlefield near Fort Mortis. I already knew my birth was considered a secret, but I had thought maybe a duke or something had a fling with a scullery maid. When I met him, I was quite surprised. I don’t know if he was more so than me, to be truthful, after I took off my mask.”

“I can’t imagine Ben would have fought you after that revelation.”

“He didn’t. There was a cave nearby and we escaped, got to talking. And that’s all you’re getting tonight, m’dear.”

“I’m not your dear.”

“Pity. I did so enjoy it while you were,” he replied sensually, his mouth curved mockingly. She shuddered and rose from the bed. She had to get out of the house, had to do something. He began to follow her out the door, holding it open for her and she paused. 

“What are you doing?”

“Ah ha,” he said, wagging a finger in her face. “That’s more than one question, my lady.” He bowed, sweeping an arm to indicate she should go before him. Her face hot, Rey clattered down the steps and into the kitchen, pausing to gather up her foraging materials. Kylo lounged against the kitchen, slicing open an apple and sucking the juice from his fingers while she sorted baskets and trowels. She was cursing under her breath as she headed out into the dank, humid air, her shade once again behind her. 

She struck out for the far reaches of the encampment, moving quickly through the underbrush, Kylo moving silently behind her. She brooded, letting her mind wander over the implications of the reveal, if true. She knew the Knights of Ren carried a special tattoo on their shoulder--right where his scar tissue was thick. And his birthmark. She resented him following her and desired a way to escape, to allow herself to retch up her disgust at herself for sleeping with him. 

“Give it a rest, Rey,” he called. “You couldn’t have known. Ben and I planned it too well.”

“You shouldn’t have slept with me!” she snarled.

“And I didn’t want to. Notice how I didn’t touch you for months. But, Maker be damned, you are an alluring creature. Even now, I can't help admire you.” He sounded resentful as he spoke and Rey refused to take the compliment.

“Stuff your admiration up your ass,” she stated. “I’m your brother’s wife.”

“A husband who did not want you anymore,” he said, stopping and breathing heavily. She had been pressing forward at a punishing pace, sweat sticking to their shirts, hair clinging to necks. 

“You’re a liar!,” Rey shrieked, whirling around and marching toward him. She pulled back and slammed her fist into his face. She could tell he saw it, could tell he let her deck him, stumbling back a few steps, grabbing onto a tree to steady his swaying form. 

“What hurt more? Thinking your husband was broken or this, knowing Ben didn’t want you?,” Kylo thundered, holding one hand to his cheek. “But you know it to be true yourself. How many weeks did he not share your bed before he left? How many letters did you receive from him? Ah, yes.” Rey’s chest was heaving and she was struggling not to cry. She moved away from before turning and fleeing, leaping over downed branches and dodging creepers, racing toward the swamp at the northern edge of the land. She heard Kylo moving behind her and shoved it to the back of her mind. 

She stopped, bending forward to catch her breath, snot running down her nose. She dropped her baskets and tools on the ground, looking around her. She had not been this far north since their arrival; she wasn’t even sure if the Resistance patrolled this area. She was alone, the mist rising off the ground, the swamp eerily quiet in the evening hours. Thick moss hung off of trees and the air had a damp, brackish tinge to it. She spotted a few fireflies moving through the mist and she moved a few feet away from the water’s edge, just to be safe. She brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face and twisted to gather her baskets when she froze, a sword resting against her cheek.

“Look what I found, Pom. A little scavenger,” a thick voice rolled. Rey looked up to see a short, squarish man with a hard face missing a few teeth glaring down at her. Smugglers, she surmised, instantly. She must have come across one of their stashes in her hasty run. 

“I meant no harm,” she began. “I was just looking for tubers.” 

“Where you from? Ain’t a village around for miles,” the man demanded, jabbing at her with the sword. She took a few quick steps back, keeping her hands up to show she had no weapon. Her staff rested on the ground next to her feet. She began calculating her moves, keeping her eyes wide and fearful, when a few men came out of the mist, bulky, each one uglier than the next, and each carrying a large box. She privately thought of them as baldy, fatty, bad hair, and shorty. 

Yep, smugglers, she thought forlornly. She wondered what was in the box and if it would be worth it to grab on the way out, especially if there was food. Her stomach picked up on her train of thought and grumbled loudly. She let herself look embarrassed and the square faced man chuckled. 

“A bit hungry are you? Maybe you’ll give us a little fun and we’ll give you some food,” shorty leered, patting his belt. Rey bit back a laugh.

“I don’t think so,” she said. “I doubt you know how to deal out some fun.” The men snarled, and Rey kicked up the edge of her staff, grabbing it as she whirled and jabbed it into the face of the short man. He squealed as blood squirted from his nose. She ducked as baldy swung his meaty fist at her. She shoved the end into his gut and jerked it up to smack into his chin. He stumbled back and she gripped it like a bat and  swung it into his face. He went down like a rock and Rey screeched as large arms locked around her waist. She twisted in the grip of fatty, stabbing down with her foot into his instep. He grunted and reached a hand up to her throat. Rey leaned forward and bit his hand savagely. The man yelped and she grabbed down to take a handful between his crotched and twisted. He howled and stumbled away as bad hair ran toward her with the sword pointed straight. 

Rey dropped to one knee, picking up her staff and aimed at his solar plexus, impaling him on it with a sudden jerk. His breath went out with a whoosh and she stood, whirling around to kick him in the face. He went down,holding on to his nose. 

Baldy was lumbering to his feet and Rey jumped toward him, planting her fist in his jaw and the staff behind his legs. He growled but came at her, the largest and the most muscular of them all. She knew there were no rules in a fight and shoved her fist into his throat before turning and kicking at his knee. His large paw swiped at her face, sending her reeling. He grabbed her hair and pulled hair, Rey letting out a short scream. She turned in his grip, digging her nails into his hand and jabbed an elbow in his eyes. 

“I’ll teach you a lesson,” shorty growled, getting to his feet, blood trickling out of his broken nose. He moved toward her when suddenly he stopped, swaying, before his head slid off his neck. Both Baldy and Rey blanched at that until Rey noticed a blade sticking out of a tree. A dark figure rushed into the scene, his sword out. He took in the two men down and Rey grappling with Baldy. 

Rey took advantage of Baldy’s distraction to pull her dagger out of her boot and shove it into Baldy’s shoulder. He bellowed and let go, Rey scrambling back for her staff. Kylo marched steadily forward and without hesitating ran his blade through the man. 

Fatty and bad hair looked at them, terror in their eyes, bad hair’s locks standing even higher on end. They turned and fled, tripping over their dead companions, and disappeared into the mist. Rey took in a deep gulp of air and loosened her grip on her staff. She immediately moved toward the boxes the men were carrying. Kylo gave her a bemused look before bending down and picking up the body of the short man and dragging it toward the water before tossing the body in. 

Rey stabbed the earth with her blade, cleaning off the blood with dirt before running her handkerchief over it. She then used it to wiggle open the tops of the boxes and grinned widely. He She looked up to see Kylo hurling the head toward the swamp and frowned. 

“That’s disrespectful,” she said reproachfully.

“So’s threatening rape,” he replied amiably. “What you got?”

“That’s an interesting stance for you to take,” Rey said pointedly. Kylo stopped and had the good graces to look embarrassed. She had a weapon against him and wouldn’t be afraid to use it. She continued in a friendly tone: “Food. Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and look,” she helded up a shiny box. He tentatively smiled. “Fresh cow meat.” It was a cold box, packed tight with snow and ice and fresh meat if she could judge by the stamp on the top. She wondered what the smuglers were doing with the food. She turned over the box to see a First Order seal branded on the side. She frowned but placed the box back inside the wooden crate and hammered the lid back on using the butt of her knife. She slid it back into her boot. 

“Come on, help me get this back to camp.”

“What? No thank you for coming to your rescue?”

“You’re getting steak for dinner. That’s thanks enough,” she retorted. She placed her basket on one box and hefted it up. She caught Kylo grinning at her. “What?”

“I wonder if Ben had ever seen this side of you before. So ruthlessly practical.” Rey tossed her head.

“What do you think made him believe I would be a good queen?,” she posed haughtily. 

Stick that in your cork and shove it, she thought as she marched passed him, her back straight. He still continued to grin as he stacked three of the boxes and followed her back to the house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed reading everyone's theories! Thanks so much--so much creative energy out there!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has questions. Kylo has answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all have such awesome questions and theories! Here's a tiny little chapter to maybe resolve some of them (meeeebbbeee)

The questions began immediately the following night. Despite her worries that she would be unable to sleep in the same room with him, he had dutifully stretched out on the floor and had immediately started snoring. Rey followed much later and, according to Kylo the next morning, snoring just as loudly. 

“How did Snoke find out about you?,” she asked, perched on the edge of the bed. Kylo’s brow rose in surprise to her question. He had clearly expected her to ask about Ben and she was pleased to throw him off his balance. She had her own reasons, though, for gathering intelligence. She wasn’t stupid enough to think that Kylo would give away the whole game but she wanted Leia to be safe. 

“I imagine he has met Leia, although I’m not entirely sure. He’s never cared much for her anyways. She allowed a prime minister to dictate to her--a descendant of Anakin Skywalker--how to run the country.”

“It keeps Croytan happy,” Rey primly informed him. Kylo shrugged. 

“It didn’t keep you safe, did it?,” he mildly challenged. She gave him a disconcerted look, brow furrowing in thought, and he grinned in response. “My turn. Why, do you think, Ben fell in love with you?” Rey looked at him, startled. That was not the direction she expected. 

“I don’t know,” she said irritably. 

“Wrong answer.”

“Well I don’t!,” she protested, racking her brain for memories, for the time when Ben surely must have explained himself, half upset with Kylo’s impertinence. “It happened so quickly…” He continued to look at her, evaluating her, until she blew her air out and exited the room. Not an auspicious beginning, she thought. 

 

 

The next night, he was waiting for her. 

“My turn,” he started before she could even open her mouth. “Why, do you think, Ben fell in love with you?”

“I don’t know!,” she exploded. “Why do you care?” He gazed at her evenly, his lips twitching. But he remained silent and Rey fumed.

“What’s your question this evening, Rey?,” he asked, leaning back against the pillows and threading his fingers behind his head. 

Angry, Rey asked: “Why did Ben propose the switch?” 

“It’s complicated.”

“I’m not stupid.”

“No and Ben never said you were. I certainly don’t think so. But it’s difficult to put into words.” He paused, tapping his booted foot against the footboard on the bed. Annoyed, Rey knocked them off and reminded him to not put his dirty boots on her bed. 

“Here it is, the best that I can say--Ben was disillusioned. The war broke something in him. And finding about me, well, that was the last straw. Then he lost his arm--”

“What?!?,” Rey interjected, her eyes wide, her hand flying to her heart as if she could somehow ease its stuttering. “How could you not say anything about that?”

“Because he’s fine. You, of all people, should be aware that it is possible to replace one arm with a mechanical one.”

“No one has successfully done it. You have to use steam or an aether gem. And the law of equivalent exchange--,” she paused, licked her suddenly dry lips. “You didn’t.”

“Uthian scientists have found away around your rules, little girl,” Kylo all but sneered. “Croytan’s problem is that it thinks too much in terms of black and white. Even Ben admitted that was a hindrance.” She said nothing, her lashes wet, but the tears did not come. She didn’t think she had any left to give. 

Ben continued: “He is fine. His arm was replaced. He went on his merry way and I went on to find Luke.” 

“Does Luke know?”

“You’ve reached your limit, Rey. And you still haven’t answer my question.” Rey shook her head and sank down on the bed. It was a large bed inside an even larger room. She could, however, still feel the heat emanating from him against her back. He did not move to comfort her as she lost herself in her tearless grief, her remorse. 

 

 

“Where did Ben go?” 

“Somewhere you can’t follow.”

“Did he make you vow not to tell me?”

“Two questions--I deserve something for answering a second,” he said easily, turning to face her. He stood shirtless in front of the refresher mirror, a toothbrush in his hand, his wet locks combed back from his forehead, and a towel hanging precariously on his hips. Rey knew he did this to provoke her; she would not be shamed. After all, she reasoned, she had seen all of him. 

“What do you want?” she asked, fidgeting. 

“A kiss.”

“No,” she scoffed, turning on her heel to flounce into the bedroom. Kylo easily snagged her wrist and she tugged on it impatiently. 

“My question though, Rey. I’m still waiting for your answer.” She bared her teeth at him and pried his fingers off her, one by one, as he shook with silent laughter. 

 

 

The following evening, Rey dressed in a woolen sweater and long pants before heading downstairs to find Kylo waiting for her. She scowled at him in his dark sweater and woolen pants. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Going fishing with you,” he said quite cheerfully. “I was raised by sailors you know, before Snoke found me.”

“No, I didn’t,” she said, heading down to the wharf. The sun was setting, the sky a brilliant tangerine and violet, a few cloud wisps above them. She loved escaping the damp swamp for the pebbly beaches, the sharp salt air stinging her nose each day. She felt as if she were being re-born each time she returned to the water.

“Why are you so cheerful?,” she asked as he bent down to undo the knot anchoring the boat to the rickety wharf. She moved into the catboat, adjusting the sail so they could catch the cool northern breeze.  The sea was a bit choppy and the boat rocked hard starboard when Kylo lowered his large frame inside. He was deft, she observed, as he moved about, adjusting the jib and moving to the bow. 

“Because someone knows the truth. I can be a bit more like myself and less acting like Ben when it’s just you and me,” he replied, preparing the traps to be dumped in the water. He moved quickly, with certainty, and Rey thought he had not been lying about being raised by a sailor. She was competent but he was done in half the time it would have taken her. 

“So, time for questions,” he said as she guided the craft to an area she had not plundered yet. “What happened to grandmother’s ring?” Rey winced. 

“I guess it’s alright telling you. The only reason I didn’t tell Ben was because Leia thought it would distract him.”

“Distract him? Did you really have an affair?” 

Rey snorted and shook her head. “No, my former guardian, I guess is the word, from Jakku came into the city and threatened to tell people all the details about me. I had been presented as the lady of Stewjon, no mention of Jakku. Telling people could reduce faith in the royal family and Leia was afraid Parliament could use that to strip more powers from the crown. She knew Ben resented its existence.” 

“So what if you were from Jakku? Heirs are discovered all the time,” Kylo shrugged, slowly lowering a cage into the sea. The stars were starting to spark in the sky and Rey allowed herself to relax, to watch the sun dip below the horizon. 

“No. It’s because I killed someone there.”

“I’m sure you had reason. You don’t seem like the type of person to go on a killing spree.” 

“He tried to…...well, tried to force himself on me,” Rey said quickly and noticed Kylo stilling. A moment later, he continued his work, his mouth a firm line. Rey blurted out the rest of the tale, including the trap laid by Unkar, and Kylo still said nothing. She was tacking against the wind, wrestling with the jib, when he finally stood up and moved to take over. She gratefully slid fore and began loading the rest of the traps with bait. 

“You were afraid he would kill this Unkar Plutt,” Kylo said in a hushed voice, disgust rolling as he said the name. Rey didn’t reply and knew he took her silence as assent. “You should have let him protect you.”

“I can protect myself. I’ve been doing fine for years,” Rey sniped. Kylo shrugged and moved to the helm. It was silent except for the slap of the waves against the hull, the canvas snapping in the breeze. Rey wrapped the linen around the chicken necks securely before moving to lower the trap into the water. 

“Your turn, Rey,” Kylo said. 

“Why did you agree to the switch?” He was quiet and they sat together for a moment, watching the sun fully sink below the horizon, the sky turning indigo with a bright ribbon of stars and dust streaming above it. Rey’s breath caught in her throat and she smiled faintly. A pale sliver of the moon lit their path but she still struck a match and lit a candle, closing the glass door and hanging it up on the mast of the little boat. She lit a few more, securing them against the hull as Kylo guided the boat to shore. 

“I was just as disillusioned as Ben,” he said softly into the wind. Rey wasn’t sure if she heard him and stopped her work to crouch beside him. He looked down at her, his eyes hard. “I loved a woman, very much. And Snoke took her from me.”

“Why?,” Rey asked, tentatively lying one hand on his knee. 

“To prove my loyalty he said. He was always doubting it. I did things in the alchemical lab that I can never undo.” Tears glittered in his eyes and his voice was hollow. Rey kept her hand on his knee. “So I was a murderer, Snoke’s glorified assassin. And without my Ayla, there seemed no point. Ben offered an exchange. His life for mine. I took it, Rey. Because I was already dead. Just waiting, really, for the one man to be a better swordsman than me.” 

Rey stood and planted a kiss on his forehead. There was nothing to say and they both knew it. In silence, they docked the boat, moving companionably to tie her up to the wharf before slowly ambling toward the house. Rey felt like perhaps holding his hand was an appropriate way to express consolation but, uncomfortable with the idea, she continued to walk beside him into the house. 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey asks a question and receives an answer she didn't expect.

Their days continued like this for a week or two, Kylo almost always asking her: “Why do you think Ben fell in love with you?” to her ever mounting frustration. Leia, it seemed, suspected nothing, although she had gone away for ten days on a scouting trip up north. She had returned, pleased, with an impatient Finn by her side. Finn and Kylo circled one another, Kylo still growling at the younger man.

“Don’t trust a traitor,” he had said in an amiable tone to Rey’s query before dropping to the floor to go to sleep. She found him irritating, on one level, and almost excessively courteous on another. Still, she was almost learning to enjoy his company now that he could relax around her. He had a dry humor and aided her in keeping the camp going, with feeding the soldiers who guarded the perimeter, gathering food, and fishing. She could appreciate hard work. She still pestered him about Ben, using her questions to push aside her resentment over her growing contentment. 

One morning he found her doing pull ups in the yard and gestured for her to follow. Curious, she trailed him toward an empty clearing west of the house. The small green patch was ringed by thick oaks and filled with the songs of birds. Spring was on its way out now, Rey thought, worried how oppressive summer would be in the swamp. The already humid days were growing hotter, thicker, and she had exchanged many of her dresses for tightly cut trousers and a light tunic. 

Kylo was carrying a box that he sat down on the ground, his broad shoulders straining against his thin grey tunic.  She looked away. 

“These are pistols. I imagine you’ve seen them in Croytan,” Kylo instructed as he pulled out the heavy weapons. Rey turned her gaze to his hands, frowning in concentration, and reached out for one. Kylo shook his finger at her and ordered her to hold out both hands and keep them still before laying the pistol delicately on them. She was surprised by the weight. The highly polished wood was held together by thick gold dials and wiring with a short muzzle. It could hold up to three rounds, she saw, a small chamber jutting off to the right. 

“I’ve seen plans to improve them in the chief engineer’s office,” she stated as she surveyed the instrument.

“The Uthian army is all instructed in them. We all carry a set. Personally,” he added offhandedly, “I think if they do improve it, you will see these replace swords.” She gave him a horrified look. He came around her, moving the pistol so it was cradled in her hands. His arms encircled her and she tried to force herself to relax, to not feel the heat of his breath moving across the back of her neck. 

“Now, with a pistol, you need to aim straight. Probably with both arms the first time you fire,” he murmured near her ear. She blinked rapidly, ignoring his mint tasting words moving across her cheek, and lifted the pistol, his hands cupping hers. 

“Look down the sight and keep both eyes open.” She aimed at a tree across the clearing and tried to remember the drawings she had seen in Ben’s lab. Kylo slid his hand down her arm and pulled back the firing pin. 

“Keep your arms steady and loose, Rey, and when you are ready, squeeze the trigger. Just focus on breathing,” he commanded softly, moving her fingers to nestle them against the trigger. She licked her lips and tried not to notice how rough his hands were, callused like hers. She shifted again and turned her attention to her breathing, concentrating on the tree. She felt herself fall into a balance and as she exhaled, she pulled back on the trigger. 

The crack silenced in the birds in the clearing, her ears ringing as she stumbled back into Kylo, his arms tightening immediately around her. He steadied her as she shook her heard, her vision blurring. 

“Nice shot, Rey. Now let’s try it again. Less recoil this time. Plant your feet and absorb it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” 

He stood still a moment before moving her back into place, his hands on her hips. “Because Uthos is coming. Snoke will leave no stone unturned to find Leia. And you should be safe.” 

“Leia, too,” Rey reminded him. He scuffed the ground with his toe.

“Let’s hope I never have to make that decision,” he said lightly. “Now, try again.”  

She spent the rest of the afternoon, perfecting her aim until she could get the same mark twice in a row and she barely swayed when the pistol recoiled. Her arms ached from keeping them up and straight all day, and she rubbed them as they headed back to the house. 

“You could use a warm bath, soak those muscles,” Kylo said. 

“Did you treat all of your Knights this way? Mothering them,” Rey quipped. Kylo tensed up before letting out a grating bark of laughter. 

“Depends. Do you want that to count as tonight’s question or do you have something else in mind?” Rey considered the subject as she followed him up the stairs. 

“No. I know my question for tonight,” she said finally. Kylo raised his eyebrows as he placed the heavy box in a closet in their room. He stripped off his shirt and tossed it on the floor. Rey glared at him before he rolled his eyes, picking it up, and dumping it in the basket. She was certain, at first, that he undressed around her to make her uncomfortable until she realized that he was truly comfortable in his skin in whatever state. Although she didn’t put it past him to use it as a weapon. 

“What’s your question?,” he asked as he sat heavily on the bed. 

“Why do you think Ben fell in love with me?” He tilted his head back, his eyes raking over her face, searching, she sensed for a motive. 

“I’m trained to see people as pawns or weapons, Rey. Are you sure you want the answer?,” he said softly. 

She swallowed: “Yes.” He did not reply for a few moments, his eyes flat before sitting up abruptly and resting his arms on his knees. He kept his eyes locked on her as he gave his answer.

“I think you’ve been both. And I think Ben saw that in you. He saw the smart woman who was unafraid to go up against the establishment in studying alchemical sciences. It helped, you know, that Skywalker was interested in you. Otherwise, you might have been brushed aside as an oddity. He saw a woman who could defend herself. Which is why I found it fascinating that he moved you into a position that you could not.” 

“What do you mean?,” she asked, puzzled before quickly adding: “No he didn’t.” He raised an eyebrow at her afterthought. 

“What were you allowed to do as princess, I wonder? Did you participate in war councils? Did Leia or Ben invite you to know details about what they were doing or what Croytan was doing?” 

“I, I knew some,” she stammered. She saw what he was doing and refused to believe it. If he saw her as a weapon, there was no reason why he wouldn’t also try to forge her as one. 

“Some,” he said lightly. He drew in a deep breath. “From what I saw from Ben’s memoirs, you were paraded around, often attending tete a tetes, opening orphanages. Ben mentioned to me he had a secret lab set up for you. Secret. Interesting. Did you work with him on his stuff?”

“On the aether tank, the spy bird,” she admitted. He snorted. 

“That’s all, is it.”

“He didn’t do much more than that. He had qualms about the potential of aether weapons,” she thundered. Kylo let out a dry chuckle. He got up and headed toward his chest, the one she had been flipping through a mere few weeks ago. He kneeled down and opened it, rummaging for a moment before pulling out a black leather book. He stood and handed it to her. It was heavy, edges of paper sticking out from the sides, the royal crest of Organa on it. He gazed at her with his flat black eyes, like a snake, she thought desperately, her heart racing. 

“I’m not telling you what to do, Rey. I’m offering you a choice,” he said, his breath brushing her hair back from her face, hot and minty and uneven. Like Ben’s, she thought distantly. 

“You still didn’t answer my question,” she said quietly. He smiled thinly.

“I don’t know why Ben would fall in love with you. I know why I would. But I don’t think that’s a topic for tonight.” He sidled past her, his chest brushing her shoulder, as he headed toward the refresher. She blew out her breath and trembling, opened the journal. 

 

Rey locked herself in the study as she devoured Ben’s journal. She thought she was past being surprised by him but it seemed as if he had more secrets up his sleeve. 

He had developed a prototype of the lightning bomb, the same as Snoke’s it seemed, and the Croytanese military had used it to level the village of Sloop Vale. He had warred with himself over it but had determined that it could alter the course of war, that it could end it.  _ A few lives for many _ , he wrote in a busy scrawl. Turns out, Rey thought grimly, it only encouraged Snoke to release a more powerful one. She was still haunted by images of the bomb, its blooming black and red cloud, the fire tearing through, a cold harsh wind, bodies decimated, buildings blackened and emptied. 

Ben also developed prototype flying machines with guns attached. Poe had assisted him. The equations were hurried, the mechanics faulty, she quickly saw and wondered if it was deliberate. 

Ben also planned on keeping her preoccupied with more domestic activities--improving the aether grid for the farm system, aether for homes, developing the understanding of aether. 

Because he discovered how to tap into someone’s ability to access the aether--something Luke called an internal force.  And how to drain it. And as much as he loved her, he could see her glowing with power and wanted it. Knew he could harness it to make himself the most powerful king in Croytan’s history.

Someone to rival his grandfather. 

There was anguish in his hasty script-- _ in doing so, I protect her. No one will harm her for her power. I can keep her safe.  _ She was riveted by a drawing he had done of her--her hair curling around her face, her mouth a determined line, her eyes bright, and her brow furrowed. It was a loving sketch, she knew. But it didn’t change the anguish staking her heart. 

Sitting up, cold dawn light slowly brightening the dull study, Rey rubbed her eyes. The truth was sitting heavy and sick in her mouth. She took a sip of her stale cold tea and grimaced. A knock on the door disrupted her train of thought and she turned to see Kylo entering with two steaming mugs of tea. She was interested to see that he sat a mug of black tea in front of her. He remembered. She blew on the steam and took a swallow. 

“Make love to me,” she said blankly.  

“No,”he replied, rubbing circles on her back soothingly. 

“Why not?”

“You will only hate yourself later,” he said, perceiving her need to lash out. “You couldn’t have known.”

“I was a fool,” she whispered, her voice cracking, dry like autumn leaves. She wanted to flee, to run from Kylo’s too understanding eyes. 

“Don’t live a life of grief, Rey. I’ve done it. Mourn now, but don’t let it end your life. You’re too young. You’ve got time.” Rey turned to snarl at him but he was implacable. He stopped rubbing her back and knelt before her, taking her wan face in his hands. “I was dead before I met Ben and came here. I thought I was going to die with that fever. Do you know what got me through?” She shook her head, tried to pull away but he grasped her face tightly. She winced. 

“You did, Rey. You were so kind. Even though you were looking at me with hurt and confused eyes, you treated me with such gentleness. You saw me as a person, a broken one, but still. No one has ever done that. I vowed in that moment to never leave you unless you specifically ordered me to. And if it takes my whole life, I will work hard to make you feel safe and happy.”

“Don’t say those things,” she said through blurred eyes, her voice rough. 

“Ben is south. He headed to the Bakura islands, to the aether gems. He believed that Snoke was mining there and wanted to stop him. Whatever you see in that journal, I want you to know he was a complicated loyalties and that he did love you.” He stared intently into her eyes and reached up one thumb to wipe away a lone tear slipping out her eyes. She was gazing almost vacantly at him. 

“How can you say that?,” she said, fighting the sob. She refused to give that bastard anymore tears. 

“Because if Snoke found out about you, he would stop at nothing to get you and your power, Rey,” Kylo whispered. He gently rested his forehead against hers. “And if Ben can stop the harvesting of the gems, it will reduce Snoke’s interest in you.”  Rey broke, a shuddering cry ripping through her, and she bit back a wail, pressing her fist to her mouth. Kylo shushed her, running his hands over her hair, caressing her shoulders. He was pressing small light kisses against her temple and she grabbed his head, brought her lips to his mouth. He let her shove her lips against his but stilled for moment before giving in and kissing her back. He was tender, his lips soft against hers. She tried to slip her tongue between his lips and he gripped her shoulders, pulling away. She whimpered.

“Let me forget.”

“I don’t want you to hate me in the morning,”he murmured. She shivered and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she cried, soaking his shoulder. She pulled back, wiping at her eyes, after a few moments.

“I can’t cry anymore. I’m done with it.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going south. I’m going to stop Snoke and I don’t know, fight Ben, help him, maybe both.” 

“Let me come with you.”

“No.”

“Yes, Rey,” he insisted. “The journey south across the water has sunk many ships. I’m a better sailor than you. We would have a better chance.” Rey gave a small laugh and swallowed hard, pushing down the lump in her throat. Kylo offered her his handkerchief and she took it, dabbing at her eyes, and ungraciously wiping her nose. She could give a kriff about court manners now. 

“What about Leia?” Kylo’s eyes darkened at her question. 

“Let me worry about her. You need to sleep.”

“I need a drink,” she replied but did not resist as he took her hand and tugged her up, leading her to their bedroom. She sat on the bed as he took off her shoes and covered her with the quilt. She grabbed his wrist as he turned to leave. 

“Don’t go. Stay with me. Just for a little while.” He twitched his lips in a small, humorless smile and went around the bed to lay next to her, his arm draped stiffly across her. 

“I’ve lied to you, too, Rey,” he said softly. 

“I won’t forget,” she promised, letting her heavy eyes close and his warmth pressed against her back ease her into a dreamless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next will be more on the characters but we will be getting one soon on the nature of alchemy and its role in this world and how its like the Force (and unlike it). I'm working to make it interesting and not flat as toothpaste so please bear with me. If you have any questions, leave them here or you can reach me at Tumblr at HausCrashBurn.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is explicit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where things do get a bit explicit. I'm not sure if I should change the rating or not. I hope you've all enjoyed your weekend!

She awoke to eyes sealed by grit, her mouth parched and caked on the sides. Groaning in disgust, she flopped onto her back and discovered that Kylo had left the bed. She sighed and rubbed the heel of her hands against her lids, picked the grit out. The sun was shining directly into the room and she surmised that she had slept five or six hours. She became aware of the sound of the shower running in the refresher and rolled out of the bed. She would splash some water on her face, she thought, and clean her teeth and maybe she’d feel human again. 

She padded into the refresher and paused on the threshold, grunting sounds greeting her. She swiveled her head to the left and gaped at the shadow. Kylo was in the stall and against the curtain she could make out the shadow of his body, his arm jerking against his side. She was intimate enough with Ben to understand what Kylo was doing. 

Feeling bold, craving her memory to be immolated by last night’s revelations, she stripped off her tank and pants, rolling on her feet to approach the shower. She heard Kylo whine and the merest whisper of her name. Beauty was a weapon. Sex was a weapon. Both Kylo and Ben saw her as one, she thought. Resolved she pulled the curtain back and smile indulgently when Kylo looked over his shoulder at her, a quick blush of embarrassment staining his cheeks.

She stepped into the tub, keeping her eyes on him, the hot water sluicing over her skin, a rivulet cascading between her breasts. She was aware the Kylo was tracking it hungrily and she reached forward, took his hard length in her hand. Kylo hissed as she began to skate her palm down the side, across the tip,circling the edge of him. He jerked his hips against her hand and shakily tried to take a step back. She grabbed him by his ass, digging her nails into his cheek, and shook her head. He stilled, blinking rapidly. 

Rey leaned forward and licked his nipple. It hardened under her tongue and she wasn’t sure if his cock did even more as well. She continued to move her hand on him, his breathing speeding up. She was going to leave her mark on him. Ben and Kylo, both her lovers, both liars to get her into bed, she thought resentfully, and bit his nipple, pulling with her teeth. 

Kylo winced and looked at her with wide eyes. She read amazement, confusion, and desire in them and moved to his other nipple, gently squeezing his cock. He gasped as she moved her way down him, her nails scoring his skin, blood beading in thin trails. He leaned into her, his head thrown back, his mouth open. Rey directed him a few steps back as she kneeled in front of him and keeping her eyes on him, watching his mouth working for air, she took his whole length in her mouth. 

“Rey!,” he exclaimed, one hand coming down to grip her hair. She swirled her tongue around his tip, flicking it languidly, before sliding her mouth down his cock, taking him deep. He began to thrust himself into her mouth and she opened herself to it, digging one hand into his hips, the other stroking his balls. He was almost hysterical, hunched over her, pistoning his hips fiercely, and she let her teeth skate over his sensitive skin. He came with a cry, salty cum sliding down her throat. She kept her eyes locked on him as she swallowed, watched him look over the deep marks she made on his biceps, hips, a knowing gleam in his eye. 

Growling, he yanked her up and sealed his lips over hers, his fingers slipping between her legs. 

“You’re going to regret this,” he panted against her throat, sucking hard. Rey let herself drown in the pleasure, gasping as he flicked at the hard nub, before shoving one thick finger inside of her. She arched against him, rising up on her toes before sliding down again. This pleasure was for her, only her, she thought desperately, grabbing one of her breasts and squeezing, rolling her own nipple between a thumb and finger. 

Kylo dropped to his knees, taking her other breast in his mouth, his eyes fixed on her as she moved up and down, roughly holding herself, rocking herself on his thumb. He dug his heel against her clit and she cried out sharply. He felt her clench around him and slid another finger inside of her, grunting as she moved her hands to grip him hard by his hair. She looked down at him through slitted eyes--he was fascinated by her body, his tongue darting out to lick at the edge of her cunt. She pushed his head away, giving a small shake of her head--this was her pleasure only. He held still, his eyes wide and glassy, as she ground herself against him, hips moving frantically, little cries escaping her mouth as if unwilling. 

She came with an astonished gasp, nails tearing into his scalp and she slowed. He worked his fingers out carefully and sucked on them, slowly licking each one. She shuddered and turned away on weak legs, letting the hot water soothe her as she worked on calming her racing heart. 

But Kylo wasn’t done with her. She heard him stand, his mouth over the back of her neck. She tried to pull away but he held her tight, one hand reaching up to lightly squeeze her breast. 

“You aren’t a weapon, Rey,” he whispered, nipping her earlobe. “At least not that kind.” 

“I could be,” she replied shakily and he let out a low laugh. 

“No. You’re too compassionate. But if you want pleasure, let me give it to you.”

“You just did,” she said sharply, shoving him back from her. She moved quickly, brushing him aside as she stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her. She gasped as he yanked the towel off.

“I’m not your little fucktoy, Rey,” he growled, advancing out of the tub toward her. She scrambled back into the bedroom, her hands crossed in front of her chest. “You come onto me like that, I’m gonna finish it.”

“I finished you,” she shot back and he grinned. 

“For the moment,” he replied before pushing her flat onto the bed. Rey gave a little yelp of protest but one firm hand held her down and he dropped to his knees, knocking hers aside and clamping his mouth around her wet slit. 

“Maker, Rey,” his lips brushed against her and she shuddered, not fighting it, grabbing his long strands of hair. Everyone else got something from her, she thought hazily, why couldn’t she take too? 

His tongue ran from one end to another, circling her already sensitive clit slowly, excruciatingly slow, humming as the bristles on his face scraped her skin, rubbing her raw as he sucked her skin. She gripped the sheets hard, aware that she was almost too loud, her voice somewhere between a sob and a cry. She bit the inside of her wrist as the orgasm ripped through her, trying to muffle his name coming up through her throat as he sent over again. She closed her eyes, basking in the haze settling over her mind. 

Rey opened her eyes in surprise as she felt the bed dip and Kylo settle on his knees in front of her, locking her ankles around his waist. He was gazing down at her as he nudged his way into her tight slit. Whatever tenderness he showed was gone, a wolfish look on his features as he pounded into her without rhythm. She could only hold on, grabbing onto his arms, his mouth wildly devouring hers, sloppy, his chest heaving until at the last moment, he jerked out and pumped himself once, twice, and came with a cry of her name onto her belly. 

Rey ran her hand over her eyes, let her arm fall across her face. She was exhausted, mind dulled by a heady glow. She focused on returning her breathing to normal and wondered if Kylo knew how to be gentle with a woman in bed or if he only had one speed--hard and furious. She imagined him tender with her and cleared her throat, her skin growing warm. She wanted to roll over and go to sleep; she wanted to explore what the kriff just happened. She heard Kylo moving away before coming back in and a cool cloth running over her stomach. 

“Why not in me?,” she asked hoarsely. 

“I can’t risk you getting pregnant before we head south. The seas are rough,” he replied simply, dropping onto the bed next to her. He kissed her shoulder and ran a calloused thumb over her bottom lip. “Are you sore?” Rey flipped onto her back and tentatively lifted her legs. 

“A little,” she admitted. 

“I’ll run a warm bath,” he said, rolling to his feet. She stopped him with a hand on his chest. 

“Stay. Talk with me.”  He sat with one leg draped over the edge of the bed, observing her with distant eyes. She could see him sealing himself off from her and she moved her hand to to link her fingers through his. 

“That was nice,” Rey said awkwardly, blushing faintly. Kylo smirked and stretched out beside her on his stomach, propped up on his elbows. 

“It was a nice surprise,” he said agreeably. “Whatever prompted you to do it?” Rey held their hands up to the light, counting the freckles that ran down his arm. It was the same number as Ben, something that bothered her, tickled at the back of her mind. 

“I was tired of being used,” was all she said and to her relief, he didn’t push her for more. “Tell me about Ayla.”  He looked down at her in surprise. 

“Why?” 

Rey shrugged slightly: “You know all about me and Ben. I barely know anything about you.” He sat in silence for a few moment, moving only to tug the quilt around them both. Rey was beginning to think that he wouldn’t say anything before he cleared his throat. 

“She was a servant at palace in Uthos’ capital,” he began unsteadily. “I was captain of the guard then with Snoke planning on moving me into the Knights of Ren. But you can’t just join them. You have to fight your way through them.”

“To the death?” 

“No, to first blood. I had--have--a terrible temper. You’ve seen it,” he said and to her amusement, flushed slightly in chagrin. 

“Didn’t your foster mother ever ground you for breaking things?,” she chided gently. 

“I can’t help it, Rey. It’s like my mind goes blank and fighting is the only way to get it back. Latching on to something strong, like my temper.” He chewed his lip as he spoke, confusion wrinkling his brow. Rey nodded. She had seen him staring off into the distance sometimes, completely vacant. It had taken more than a few prompts to bring his attention back in those moments and he always looked as if he had just emerged from a dream. 

“And this Ayla could calm you,” she prompted after a minute of quiet. Kylo began to curl her hair around one of his fingers. 

“She did. She was a sweet thing. She flirted with me, you know. I was focused on conditioning, training my men, working in the labs. I began to spend more time in the kitchen and she found ways to bring me extra meals and sit with me. She had a great boisterous laugh--loud and free. Didn’t let working with ladies get in the way and would never hide her laugh.” He stopped and gave a misty smile, his eyes soft. Rey squeezed his hand. 

“We got married. Secretly because Snoke had to approval of his council member’s marriages. I don’t know how he found out but when he did, he went into a rage. He had Ayla taken to the Knights of Ren training ground and he let the other knights beat her. He let them almost kill her and was using alchemy to keep her alive.” Rey gasped. 

“But Kylo--that takes---” and he nodded in confirmation. She felt sick. 

“I had to fight my way through them to get to her. And when I did,” his shoulders were shaking and Rey pressed herself close to him, tears swimming in her eyes. She didn’t really want to know. He pressed his lips together and continued. 

“When I got through them, she was----I’ll never forget how crooked her legs were, the way they had tied her arms up and were jerking her around like a puppet. Snoke had Hux there with him and he had a sword. He asked me to choose. Continue this or end her in front of him. To prove my loyalty. And if I did, he could bring her back and I could have her. And I thought this was best, this was the right thing to do,” Kylo’s voice was low and thick as his tears descended down his cheeks in a flood. “He was absolutely enraged that I refused his offer to bring her back. He ordered Hux to fight me. That did not go so well for him or the rest of the Knights. I killed most of them. Snoke imprisoned me and Hux had me tortured.”

“Your scars,” Rey whispered and Kylo ran a thumb down his face scar pensively. 

“As further punishment, I became master of the Knights of Ren. I had to make a force so deadly that even Hux would fear it. So I did. I became what he wanted but I was afraid of what I would become if I didn’t.” He saw the perplexed expression on her face and brushed his hand across her cheek, ran his thumb under her eyes and wiped away her tears. “Snoke gave me rules. Without it, I would have gone mad.” 

Rey laid her head on the bed, looking up at Kylo through her lashes. He continued to run his hand down her arm, squeezing gently. She let her thoughts run through her mind until she came to a few conclusions, some she felt were a bit unsupported. She saw him go into meetings with Leia and Poe often to discuss intelligence reports. She wondered how much he was enhancing those with his knowledge. She wondered how much of being with her had been revenge on his part. 

“Whatever this is with us, Rey,” he said suddenly. “It has nothing to do with Ben or Ayla or Snoke. It’s between you and me. I wanted you that first time for you. You have no idea how incredibly captivating you are and I actually think that’s part of your charm.” He captured her lips with his and kissed her gently. Rey shivered from a mess swirling through her of trepidation and desire. 

“I’m not beautiful. I’ve seen the woman at court. I saw Bazine,” she protested. Kylo shook his head. 

“Bazine,” he scoffed. “She was just sent to distract Ben, not actually marry him.”

“Too bad for her. I was already sleeping with him,” Rey said offhandedly and Kylo coolly smiled back. 

“I applaud my brother on an excellent decision making.” Rey tried not to blush, tried not to read his words as a true indicator of what he was thinking. 

“My decision,too, you know,” she instead said lightly.  “And I hardly expected to best Bazine. She is gorgeous.” 

“You are more than beauty,” he said, kissing her again. Rey let herself sink into his arms, to tenderly return his kisses. He gently pressed his lips to her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, and she felt a hunger begin to unfurl within her.

“I don’t know what you want,” he whispered against her jaw. “But I will give you space to figure it out. And if you do want to be with Ben again, I understand. Buf if he doesn’t want to, please know that I am here for you. Always.” He tucked her under his chin and held her tightly to him. Rey squeezed her eyes shut and pushed Ben out of her mind. She felt confused, wobbly, the ground shifting beneath her. 

“Just give me time,” she said instead of what she wanted to say. Her heart was bruised, she admitted to herself, and she had made a foolish choice in the shower. More thinking, less impulsive behavior, she promised herself. She didn’t want to closely examine how Kylo made her feel. As if he understood what she was thinking, he kissed the top of her head and they lay quietly holding one another for a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tip of the hat to Poor Queequeg who helped me work out some of the issues with this scene and to whoever made this playlist on 8tracks: 
> 
> [Le Petit Mort](http://8tracks.com/meghanmartin95/la-petite-mort)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From the fat into the fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some midweek madness!

Rey woke curled up in Kylo’s arms. He was gazing at her with a bemused expression on his face, his hair loose around his shoulders. She fluttered in lashes in the warm light and rolled onto her back, stretching her arms over her head.

“Good morning,” Kylo said, sitting up and reaching to his side to bring over a cup of steaming caf. At her puzzled expression he added: “I got up an hour ago. We slept through the night.” Impressed, Rey sat and gratefully took the cup, blowing across the surface.

“Rey, I’ve been thinking about how to get south,” Kylo began and stopped when Rey lay a hand on his knee.

“So have I. And I think I have a solution.” She rapidly explained her idea and he nodded, pulling out a quill and paper to scribble down her needs list. Impulsively, he kissed her, just a brush of lips against her jaw and just as impulsively, she turned into it, tugging his bottom lip into her mouth. He groaned and slid closer to her, massaging her hip. She lay down, let him roll on top of her, grinding against her, as she flicked her tongue on the inside of his mouth. They pressed their bodies together, their mouths hungrily roaming over one another. He nudged gently at her entrance and she stopped him with her palm on his chest.

“Gently,” she demanded in his mouth and he groaned.

“I don’t know if I can,” he panted.

“Try,” she urged throatily, lifting her hips up to slide over him. Kylo shuddered and she rocked herself on him, rolling her hips, his chest heaving until he moaned and began to move against her. Delicately. With all the sympathies of a man aching to withhold pain from a loved one. She smiled earnestly and twined her arms around his neck, stroking his hair as he moved slowly within her. The early morning light warmed the two figures as they writhed under the sheets, nibbling on another another, soft moans filling the room until they were both spent and lay across one another.

* * *

Rey and Kylo stood under the shower stream, splashing one another with Rey giggling as Kylo pointed out all the marks she left on him. She knew she should have been ashamed but couldn’t bring herself to feel remorse. She cherished those marks, knew they were hers. She had been eager but timid with Ben until their bodies grew comfortable around one another. Here, she thought as Kylo rubbed shampoo into her scalp, they had started off knowing one another’s bodies.

She wondered which way was the best way to become lovers.

She wondered if that is what they had become or if they had settled into something awkward, in between, friends with body access. Where that kind of development might end. Most of it, she realized, depended upon the war and Snoke. They would be forever on the run or lose their heads if he won. And, she thought, she might suffer a far worse fate if what Ben wrote was true. She didn’t want to ask Kylo about Snoke, her suspicion growing as he had related his story of Ayla.

Kylo slipped from the room before she did, begging off to run some errands of his own. Rey padded downstairs to find Leia in the kitchen, sitting at the table, staring out the windows with a faraway look in her eye. She looked startled as Rey entered before collecting herself and setting her mug down.

“Good afternoon, Rey,” she greeted with a mischievous smile. “I haven’t seen you in a couple days.” Rey watched her gaze linger over her belly and shot her a nervous smile. “I take it you and Ben are thoroughly reconciled.”

“Ky--yes, Ben and I are,” Rey said, smoothing over her error quickly. She remembered Kylo’s admonishment that she was a terrible liar and resolved to avoid using his name. She took down a mug and poured herself another cup of caf from the pot still warm on the stove. She grabbed a muffin from the basket and took a stool next to Leia.

“That’s wonderful. I was getting a little nervous about your fights. But he seems a lot calmer now,” Leia chatted, pausing to take a sip. “He’s so much like his father sometimes.”

“In what ways?,” Rey asked curiously. Leia rarely offered her information and Rey sat, guarded, but attentive. She also never spoke about Han, not since his disappearance in the war.

“His recklessness, his charm. Han never liked to be open with his affection unless he knew it was returned. And then, well,” Leia shrugged, a dreamy smile on her face. It made her look younger, Rey thought, less burdened. “Anyway, Ben adores you and I hope you know it. When the prime minister made a stink and almost refused to meet you, he stormed right over to Parliament and had it out with him.”

“He was still horrid.”

“That’s just who he is as a person. Who he was, at any rate.” She looked sadly at the table, the lines around her eyes deepening.

“Leia, what are we doing here? Let’s just leave, get away from Snoke,” Rey urged, grasping Leia’s small hand in her own.

“I am going to beat Snoke and protect our people, Rey. I know guerrilla warfare is not the most honorable, but in our state, it’s the best we can do as we rebuild. Finn is garnering support for us from our own people. They are too scared to come right out. And we just disrupted one of their major food supply lines to the army. It’s not the flat out war I want but until we gather allies from other countries, this is what we have.”

“Is that where Poe is?”

“Yes, unfortunately. I wish he were here but I can only hope that his trip to Ocrana is successful. The king there is extremely wealthy and he is just beginning to access the aether to power his cities. For him to lose access to aether gems--which I think is what Snoke is doing--would diminish his country’s potential. And they have developed more mechanical weapons than we have--a mechanical floating ship if you can believe it.”

“Like the Falcon,” Rey murmured.

“Yes. But these actually work,” Leia said dryly. Rey chuckled and took a bite of her stale muffin. She had baked these a few mornings ago, when life seemed so different.

“And what are you up to?,” Leia asked with almost a forced casualness. Rey stilled for a moment before continuing to munch on her breakfast.

“Working through Ben’s notes,” she said carefully.  Leia nodded.

“I’ll be going north with Finn again for the day. We are meeting with some of the other groups to review some recon intel.” Leia shifted off her stool and placed her mug in the sink. She brushed her hands down her gray uniform before walking over and placing a stiff kiss on Rey’s cheek.

“Thank you for talking with me,” Rey mumbled and Leia smiled thinly.

“Thank you for doing your duty to the Crown,” she replied dryly and left. Rey headed down to the basement to work.

* * *

That night, Leia came in late, the windows open to capture a cool breeze through the house. Rey sat on a rocking chair on the porch, a cold cloth pressed to her neck in an attempt to stop the sweat from collecting on the small of her back. Leia stood in front of her, hands on her hips.

“Where’s Ben?”

“Gone,” Rey whispered distantly. She took a sip of her lemonade. Leia’s frown deepened, her face haggard and her brows damp in the heat.

“Gone where?,” she demanded impatiently.

“Gone on some sort of mission.” She carelessly handed Leia the piece of paper she found on her dresser a few hours ago. She hadn’t cried, just wordlessly tucked it into her pocket and had gone about her day, pushing the niggling thought that he couldn’t say goodbye because he didn’t care to the back of her mind.

She would not be a pawn again. Not for anyone, not for love, she vowed.

_I’ll be back soon. Trust me._

Leia flicked the paper closed irritably.

“What a stupid, reckless boy,” she muttered stomping into the house while Rey rocked herself, lost in her thoughts, her sketchbook on her lap.

* * *

She worked tirelessly the next several days, drawing and refining, until the shape became firm in her mind. She slipped out early one grey morning, hitching a wagon to one of the horses, and headed east from the house, along the coast until she came to the ship graveyard. The First Order military, a branch of elite troops under the command of General Hux, had routed the few ships that Han had outfitted for war. A sudden storm had blown in from the north, buffeting the ships, as the First Order surrounded them and fired upon them, pressing them against the craggy shores. The ships had crumpled on the rocks.

All souls lost.

The storm broke up as soon as the ships did.

Most of the ships had washed up on the beach, their grey skeletons a warning to all that the First Order would not hesitate to lose. Rey threaded her way through them, knocking on the wood to check its soundness, grabbing logs and tossing them on the wagon. She found a dinghy in good shape and used some logs to build wheels to drag after the wagon.

It began to drizzle as she carried a few things back to the wagon, her horse’s ears flickering back skittishly. She cast a quick glance over the sea, the water choppy and smashing against the lichen covered rocks, figuring she had a half hour before she had to go. One ship’s intact aft rested on the beach and she jogged toward it, bogged down by the wet sand. She tossed a rope over the railing and clambered up, her feet slipping a few times on the slimy hull.

She pulled herself over, clumsily sliding to land hard on her knee as she dropped onto to the deck.  Gripping the rail tightly, she pulled herself somewhat vertical. The ship slanted sharply, the waves licking at the bottom of the wreck.

Rey quickly leapt across the deck, scrabbling for the edge of the captain’s cabin, edging along, her feet trying to slip from under her. She wrenched the door open and sidled inside, securing the door behind her. It was more stable in the dim room but she kept one hand on the wainscoting as she moved around the edges, searching for maps to aid in the journey south.

She shook her head, finding nothing, dragging her hand down the wall. She inhaled sharply, a splinter sticking from her finger. She stuck her thumb in her mouth and sucked on it, examining a chest of drawers sitting in the middle of the room and weighing the risks. Deciding to try, she took off and--

Only to find herself frozen

Trapped

A circle flaring to life around her

She fell

 

Rey awoke, chilled, somewhere else, mist swirling around her, a grey light filtering down on her. She shivered and lifted her head, crying out in pain. She was strapped to a table or a chair, lying crooked, unhinged. She blinked her eyes several times and pulled at the restraints.

“Don’t bother, little girl. You’re trapped,” a voice hissed from the shadows. Rey’s eyes roved around the area, seeking the corners and finding none. The voice sank into her and sent a shiver down her spine. It sounded like dry leaves rubbing against one another, it sounded like the wheeze in a dying man’s chest.

“Who are you?,” she demanded, struggling against her restraints.

“I am Snoke,” he breathed and stepped into the light. Rey clenched her fists in horror, struggled to keep her face still. He chuckled raspily. He was old, a corpse somehow held together by alchemy. A dead body that still moved, inhabited by something dark that moved behind his hollow eyes. She took in his hunched over figure, a scar running down his face, his jaw not properly affixed. She looked away but felt his power pressing on her, hot, heavy, hungry. It smelled like old blood, it smelled ravenous.

“What do you want?,” she gritted her teeth at him. He leaned closer to her, raking her eyes over her body. She grimaced and fought against her restraints. “Where am I? Where is Leia?”

“I have no idea where the traitor is, but I have no doubt that, in time, she will be brought to heel.  It is you, my sweet, that I have been searching for. You, you, Rey Kenobi. Princess Rey,” he rolled the words in his mouth, gave her a skeletal smile. “How carefully hidden you are. And then you step into an alchemy circle, finally.” His grave breath ghosted across her face and she willed herself not to shiver, her mind racing. An alchemy circle. She fell. She was in a communication sphere. It wasn’t real. It was a vision. He was going to hold her there until the First Order could find her.

There was one way to break out, she thought, and pressed her thumb against the side of the restraint. She bit her cheek-the splinter was still there. She twisted her hand to rest against the cuff and pressed, letting the blood trickle out.

“You’ll never get anything from me,” she ground out. Snoke sneered.

“You think Ben Solo can protect you? You know nothing about Ben Solo,” he wheezed. “I will know where you are, little one. And I promise you, you will feel no pain. Only peace. I will treat you as you deserve. You shall know rich meals and fine clothes and the best bedding. You will never work except when you desire. If you want, I will bring Unkar Plutt’s head to you on a silver platter. All you have to do is tell me where you are.” He gazed at her through hollow sockets, pleaded with her, with his filmed eyes. She shivered, his skin the color of fish belly, and squeezed her palm tight. She felt the blood drop.

“It’s over,” she said, thrusting her will into the trickle oozing down her wrist. The circle burst into a sharp white light. Snoke shrieked and reared back

Rey’s mind shattered

Her bones ripped apart

 

She awoke in the cabin, crumpled on the floor, rain dripping through a hole in the ceiling that had not been there before. The rain washed away at the circle chalked into the floor, its scribbles running illegibly. Rey staggered to her feet, gripping the wall, precariously, and retched on the floor. She felt queasy, as if she had been put back together incorrectly. Shaking her head to clear it, she opened the door and fled.

* * *

Rey lay in her bed, arms wrapped around her knees, chin resting on them. She knew Snoke was coming.  Even if he couldn’t catch her precise location, he probably got a fix on her. She would need to tell Leia. She would need to act. She despised herself for wallowing, her fear moving like ice in her blood, building in the chambers of her heart, freezing her inside out. She was no longer aware of the sweat above her lip, her damp chestnut curls clinging to her neck. She thought warmth was beyond her.

She intellectually knew Snoke was a beast.

Now she felt as if he had tried to eat her heart and imagined he would if given the chance.

Rey stood up just as the door opened and Kylo walked in. Rey let out a little yelp and grabbed his arm.

“You’re back,” crushing herself to him. He made a noise of confusion and she looked up at him. Her bottom lip trembled and understanding flooded his face and he let her bury her face in his chest again.

“Of course. I could never leave you, my darling. I had to run some errands.” He kissed her hair. “And judging by the yard, you’ve been busy too.”

“Where did you go?,” she said, her mouth brushing the fabric of his shirt.

“Collecting the items for your needs list.”

“It shouldn’t have taken you over a week!” She drew back and gazed at him accusingly. Kylo’s brow furrowed.

“Rey, what’s the matter? I know, I mean, I guess that you care for me but this is a bit much. Unless you were like this before?,” he questioned with disappointment and worry creeping into his voice. Rey shook her head before blurting out:

“I accidentally stumbled into an alchemy circle in the ship graveyard a few miles north. He found me. He has been searching for me.” Kylo cursed, his hand flying to his sword.

“We don’t have a moment to lose.”

“I know, I know. I have an idea but it will take some time. Can you build?” Kylo shot her a bewildered look.

“Give me tools and show me how and I’ll do whatever you need.”

“Alright, good. I will talk with Leia. I need you to take what you brought to the catboat and start loading her.”

“Rey, we can’t take her to Bakura. She’s too slight. She’ll capsize in the first storm!”

“I’m converting her, Kylo, not taking her. Trust me. But we need to get some distance.” Kylo gave a curt nod and dumped his bags on the bed. Rey noticed a small brown box clasped to his belt. “What’s this?”

“It’s for you. It’s to show you that I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe, Rey.” She gave him a strange smile and ran an inquisitive finger over the lock.

“Kylo, I don’t need--,” she stopped as he wrenched the box off his belt and flipped the lid open. Inside nestled a ring with long blue sapphire wrapped in gold wire. She gazed at him in astonishment.

“What have you done?”

“He will never hurt you again, Rey. Ever. And if anyone else tries to harm you, they will go through me,” he growled, gripping her shoulders tightly. Rey couldn’t think, her mind full of cotton as Kylo plucked the ring out of the box and slid it on her finger. He bent and kissed her hand, moving to encase it between both of his. She swallowed the lump that developed suddenly in her throat and gave him a misty smile. She could not grasp the mechanics of attraction.

She could not see why he loved her. And it made her nervous. She gave him another smile.

“Let’s go downstairs and talk with Leia.” He followed her out, his hand on her lower back. She leaned into it, took strength from it, as they headed down to the study.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey make a daring escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does include a memory/dream. I have separated it with two lines.

Leia had sat in stunned silence at Rey’s news, her eyes downcast. Finn was a nervous column of energy near her, asking Rey in a low tone if she was alright. Rey tipped her head to rest on Finn’s shoulders. She would miss him. She would have to trust that he would be safe. 

Finally, Leia leapt to her feet and delivered orders in rapid fire cadence. The Resistance fighters sitting with her moved around the house in a flurry. In a few days, Rey knew the house would be empty, all their belongings in boxes or burnt. She didn’t know where they were going--it was best, Leia decided spuriously. Rey had only lifted her chin at the slight and moved down to the lab. 

Rey and Kylo spent their time on the beach putting together her plan. He sat on the keel of the dinghy, patching any weak spots, the sweat glistening on his chest. His hair was tied back with a leather thong, his arms flexing as he stretched over the hull. He looked like Ben at work, one curl flopping in front of his face, his arms flexing as he sanded the edge of the keel, his mouth fussy. Rey shook her head, a twinge of remorse taking up room in her heart, and flipped down her mask, returning to the welding task at hand.

Soon the house was empty, its doors sighing on unused hinges, a bowl of slowly rotting fruit in the kitchen. Leia had fled that morning with the rest of the Resistance, Rey insisting that she had her own path to follow. The older woman handed her coordinates for a communication spot, a warning in her eyes. She deposited a powdery kiss on Rey’s forehead and embraced Kylo tightly. Rey looked away from the naked longing on his face.

She had tested the dinghy the night before and found her seaworthy. She was at the beach before the sun’s rays began to lighten the sky, rolling out the fabric on the beach and lighting the gas carrier. As the sun rose and beat down on her, sweat glistening on her cheekbones, she checked the tension on the ropes. A high pitched whiny split the air and Kylo, gripping a horse’s mane, came galloping over the dunes toward her. Her heart leapt into her throat and she backed away, before breaking into a flat run toward the dinghy resting on the shore, the waves lapping at the bow. 

Kylo pulled back on the reins and trotted up to her, wheeling the horse in front of her. She skid to a stop. 

“First Order was spotted a few miles from here! Are we ready?,” he shouted. 

“Not quite! Get to the catboat! I’ll meet you there!,” Rey cried. Kylo suddenly snarled and pulled his sword free, urging his horse past her. Rey hardly dared to look over her shoulder to see two black garbed figures mounting the dunes. She splashed to the dingy, glancing up as the balloon slowly lifted off the ground. Rey needed a few minutes more to get the hot air into the sock to generate critical lift. 

She had built wings using bamboo from Kylo’s trip and connected them with a winch in the middle to angle them for the wind. Linen has been stitched between the bamboo grids and created a surface for lift. Or, at least, Rey figured they did. Her equations seemed sound but there had been no time to test them. 

She angled the wings flat to reduce any downward pressure on them and walked back to what she had called an engine. It gleamed a bright bronze in the afternoon light. In one end sat a tank for oil and a tank one for water. A crank shaft on the other side would start it and the engine would turn the blades in the back. She hoped it worked as she set to cranking the engine, watching the sparks fly as it tried to ignite. Smoke seeped out of a u shaped pipe off to the side. With a sharp roar, it sprang to life and the blades began to whirl. 

Rey let out a whoop and hopped out of the dinghy to begin pushing it into deeper waters. As she sank up to her waist, she hauled herself up into the boat and knelt next to the motor, tilting the spinning blades into the sea. She watched them churn furiously and the boat began to creep forward, the balloon gently wafting behind as the gas pipes pumped hot air into it. She had rigged a fan to blow the hot air up into the sock using another engine prototype. She refused to use alchemy. It would only create a stronger scent for Snoke to follow. 

She looked back to watch as Kylo battered the soldiers on the edge, his sword moving quickly, viciously, swung toward him. He hit one with a jab while slashing his blade toward the other. With another cut, both men lost their heads and slumped in the sand. 

“Kylo!,” Rey screamed as the dinghy moved out into the sea, bobbing up and down, his figure growing smaller. Her cry was lost in the thrumming of the motor.  He turned to her and began to run into the water before diving below the waves. Rey cried for him to be careful and her voice died in her throat as a group of soldiers on horseback rounded the path leading from the house.  They urged their horses forward and into the water. 

She fumbled for a box, kicking it open and grabbing the pistol, dropping a few rounds on the rough planks. Kylo was still a hundred feet away, arms moving smoothly through the sea. She hadn’t counted on the dinghy moving so quickly with the motor. 

Screwing her face up, Rey planted her feet and aimed at the men, pulling the trigger. She swayed and watched in relief as one man fell off his horse. She gripped the gunwale tightly and realized the boat was starting to skip out of the water.

The balloon and wings were generating lift. 

“Kylo hurry up!,” she hollered, shooting off another round. Another horse stumbled and the men pulled back, the water far too deep. Relieved she dropped the pistol and looked for Kylo, only to realize that she was now drifting a few feet above the sea, water steadily dripping off the vessel. She grabbed a coil of rope and tying it around her makeshift mast, she tossed it down. Kylo was treading water, gazing at the boat in fear and amazement. He shouted in relief when he spied the rope and dove for it. 

Rey cut the engine as the air boat continued to glide above the water. She felt a tug on the boat, sank as it dipped for a moment and looked down to see Kylo working his way up the rope. She dropped some of the sand weighing the boat down, watching in amazement as it continued to lift up into the robin egg blue sky. 

Kylo hoisted himself over and dropped onto the deck, his soaked clothes clinging to his frame while he crossed to the bags. Rey continued to loosen her sandbags, lightening the boat. She occupied herself with adjusting the wings, the balloon billowing out and the ship gently rising. 

“This is crazy!,” Kylo cried gleefully, gazing at the distant sea below. Rey burst into a smile, her eyes shining brightly, sure her cheeks were glowing. It had been so long since she had invented something, brought something to life. She felt something old unfurl inside of herself. 

The balloon rose several hundred feet above the sea, kissing the tops of the bank of clouds rolling in. Kylo stripped off his wet clothes, hanging them over the side and shimmed into a sweater and trousers. He laid out the maps with a compass and sextant next them as Rey slipped a navy blue sweater over her top. The air was thinner and cooler here and she was grateful that Kylo had packed furs for sleeping. She sat down on the pile, drawing one over her legs, and watched the sun rest above the flat sea, the sky a furious orange, darkening into plum. She had thought the clouds would be soft to the touch but found them flimsy and damp. Bright, hard lights winked at them in the midnight blue expanse above, a sliver moon at their backs. 

They were safe and her gamble had paid off. Now they only had to survive the trip to the south. 

“You’re absolutely brilliant,” Kylo proclaimed before grasping her by the shoulders and kissing her so thoroughly she wondered if her brain would ever function again.

* * *

* * *

“I don’t understand,” Rey admitted to Luke over tea in his workshop. Luke drew a circle and labeled the points.

“It’s simple. Each direction corresponds to an element. There are 4 key elements to alchemy--fire, water, earth, and air. Some of us draw from one kind more than another.”

“Are you an earth element reliant?,” Rey asked, gazing at him over her mug. Luke shook his head. 

“No, I’m air. Intuition,” he turned his intent gaze on her. “But you, Rey, I suspect you are fire.” He pointed to the east. “You are strong. Stronger than I’ve ever seen except for one. And a purifier. Your aether fields glow clearer than any other.”

“Fire is a destroyer,” she simply replied, wrapping her fingers around her mug and hoping the warmth seeped through her fingers and into her body. Luke gravely nodded. 

“It can be both.”

“And aether?”

“You activate the aether, Rey. It’s here, all around us, binding us, permeating the known world. The gems focus it and you, you bring it to life.”

“The consequences of such life meaning I leave a little bit of my essence in each piece,” Rey repeated in a dull tone. This was part of equivalent exchange--a bit of her life for the enlivening of whatever she was creating. She considered it a fair price. In this, she found a meaning for her life. A meaning that didn’t exist as she scrapped for her meals, her belly aching at night. Luke, as if sensing her thoughts, pushed a plate of cookies toward her and Rey gratefully began to nibble on one. 

“Why did your father choose the darker works?,” she asked in a conversational tone. Luke said nothing, his pen scratching on the surface of the paper. Rey hung her head. Perhaps she should apologize, perhaps she crossed a line. She opened her mouth to speak when Luke began to speak in gravelly low tones. 

“My mother was dying. He needed to save her. He thought perhaps he could exchange her body for another. ”

“And could he?” 

“It takes a lot of power, Rey. Complex circles. You must understand fully what you are asking before you do it. He did not. And as a result, he was ruined. His entire body burned and scarred.”

“And that’s why he wore the steam armor,” Rey breathed, her heart trembling.

“Yes. And that’s how Palpatine seized power. He was Anakin’s most trusted advisor. He took over while my father was being treated and kept the throne for himself. Father was so devastated that he let him rule until, well,” Luke paused, a scarlet flush creeping up his neck. 

“Until Palpatine made him choose him over you,” Rey nodded, leaning forward on her elbows. “What was it like being a hidden child? Did you miss your sister?”

“I hardly knew her before we were separated,” Luke protested. “I was only five. But I suspect my father knew where Obi-wan hid us and chose not to track us down. Maybe to honor our mother. It was not as grand as you think, Rey. I was a farmer in a desert.” Rey smiled faintly and looked at her stack of texts that she needed to work through that night. Luke, following her gaze with a bemused expression, stood up and rested a comforting hand on her shoulder, squeezing slightly. 

“I have some work to do. I’ll leave you here.” He picked up his mug and began to move toward the stairs when Rey turned, thinking about parents and children. 

“Would you ever do it?”

“Do what?” 

“Leave a child somewhere else. For safekeeping.” Rey gazed at him, curiosity a fire in her hazel eyes. Luke started, his brow going pale before shaking his head. 

“Ummm, I imagine, no. It would be too difficult,” Luke said before bowing his head slightly. “Please excuse me.” He turned and jogged up the stairs. Rey was surprised to see her normally unflappable teacher seem uncomfortable at her question. Deciding she had become too personal--after all, she refused to speak about Plutt with anyone-- she turned back to her work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about hot air balloons except what I was able to goggle. This isn't quite right but, well, it's fiction and we can fill in the gaps.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has some angst.

Rey woke up, shivering. She had kicked off the furs in her sleep and she discovered how cruel the air could be, her clothes stiff with ice crystals. She ducked back under the covers and cuddled up next to Kylo, her body trembling until his heat began to seep into her aching form. Her head was pounding and she was upset to discover her throat was scratchy. And that dream, a memory really, Rey thought, bothered her, left an acid taste in her mouth.

It would nag at her until she picked it apart.

She closed her eyes and rested her head against Kylo’s back, listening to his even breathing, until she fell back asleep.

The weeks passed uneventfully, for the most part. Kylo was an excellent navigator and declared they were making more than fair time. Rey turned the wings to help propel the ship forward but kept the motor off for the most part, the winds buffeting their little vessel southerly. A few rain storms had buffeted the little airship but Rey discovered how to lift the boat out of most of them and glide above the dark grey clouds. This worked except for the most violent thunderstorms. They had been soaked from hot lashing rain, the crack of lightning near their ship causing her legs to quake beneath her as her curiosity warred with preservation. Kylo helped her maneuver the ship out of the storm, their little lamp lost in the darkness until they spilled out into a misty night. The sea churned angrily beneath them as they puttered westward, the motor chugging loudly in the stillness. She had clasped Kylo to her, losing herself in his damp kisses.

She was sour that she felt lethargic most days and unsure why, sleeping more fitfully and awaking feeling edgy. She was relieved by the discovery that the further south they went, the warmer it got, even in the evening, so that one day Kylo was lounging in pants and Rey in her sleeveless cream colored top and knee length leggings, the sun beating down on them, not a cloud in the sky. Rey had the telescope out, a frown on her face.

“What is it?,” Kylo asked languidly, sucking on an orange.

“I don’t know,” Rey grunted, slamming the telescope closed in frustration. Kylo frowned and stood up, grabbing the scope from her and peering through it. He bit his lip.

“Weird isn’t it?,” she commented.

“No, not weird. I know exactly what it is. At least, I heard soldiers speaking of it.”

“What is it?”

“A vortex. You’ll see it soon enough,” Kylo warned, offering her the other half of his orange. She took it and placed it to her lips, enjoying the sharp smell before biting into the sweet flesh. The juice trickled down her throat and soothed it. Kylo ran his fingertip along her lip and sucked the juices from it, Rey’s heart fluttering in her chest.

He had been inventive on their trip. She had discovered that her body was more pliable than she had ever imagined. He had tied her to the mast, wrapping a rope around her hands and pulling them above her head, before lathing kisses down her body, her spine, the back of her knees, her sex, before taking her roughly, his eyes locked on her hers. Her back was still sore from rubbing against the pole.

Earlier that morning, he had come up behind her and thrust his hand into her trousers, stroking her to ecstasy before bending her forward and sliding inside of her. The pressure was delicious, a warm pulsing spreading through her legs, his name spilling from her mouth. He was careful to never come inside of her and she still wondered why, despite his protests that he did not think now would be a good time for a baby.

She wondered if Leia was right. Perhaps a baby would have cemented her marriage.

She wondered what was wrong with her, how fragile her heart must be that she was able to let another man ravish her body, lay her flat on the furs and kiss her from limb to limb, her wedding ring winking in the pale shaft of moonlight. She closed her fist and looked away.

Rey sat in the bow, peeping through the telescope as they neared the vortex. The sea was flat and glassy below and she had seen giants come up from beneath, long blue beasts who sprouted into the air. Kylo had explained they were whales and, amusingly, pointed out she was using their oil to power her little air ship. She wondered if the sprout she saw in the air was just a sign of a perhaps larger whale. If that explained the vortex phenomenon. She anxiously wished the ship to go faster as they gently glided through the air.

Finally the ship got closer and Rey gasped. Wooden planks and canvas floated on top of the water and she turned green when she spied bodies in the sea in various stages of disassembly. She covered her mouth and briefly looked away while Kylo navigated his way toward her, slipping the telescope from her fingers.

“Looks like some ships busted up. I don’t know why they don’t navigate around it,” Kylo remarked grimly. Rey pointed to a small chain of rocks, craggy and sharp. He only shook his head.

“Shallows and rocks and a vortex. This place is unsafe.”  They both watched as they neared the whirlpool, the water spinning furiously, a gaping hole in the middle of the sea, before the vortex exploded, shooting spray into the air, waves crashing together, dark and foamy. As they floated over, they watched the vortex form again and Rey’s curiosity was piqued, taking notes as she observed what she saw. Kylo shuddered and walked away.

The night was balmy and Kylo announced they were near. The sea was shallower too and they spent time discussing their descent and adjusting for water depth. She lit a lamp as Kylo doled out bread, cheese, and cured meats for their dinner. He pulled out a jug of ale and poured her a glass, urging it on her, saying it would help her feel better. She still felt a bit groggy but better after her afternoon nap. She brushed it off, blaming it on the altitude.

“We should arrive in the next day or so, probably plan to put her down in the afternoon,” Kylo announced, wiping the crumbs from his pants. Rey took a large bite of meat and washed it down with the spiced ale. He was eying her carefully as she ate and she decided to broach the subject now.

“What should we do when we find Ben?,” she said carefully, studying the sandwich before her. Kylo shrugged and spread his hands.

“You were the one looking for him.” She considered this and closed her eyes. She tried to remember why she needed him. Her mind travelled back to her dream and she irritably shoved it aside.

“What will you do when we find him?,” she asked instead of rising to the bait.

“I will be here for you always,” he answered, taking a bite of meat. “Whatever you want. If he wants to fight me for you, well, it’s your decision, Rey. I can’t make it for you. I can only offer myself.” Thoroughly unsettled, Rey leaned back against the gunwale and let her mind drift.

“I think the most important thing, in light of Snoke, is to assist in destroying mining equipment, if it exists,” she said. “Whatever we are must be secondary. Snoke is a danger to all of us.”

“Especially you,” Kylo’s voice was low and serious. Rey felt his hand cover hers. “I’m sure Ben will place your safety paramount.” Rey only wished she could believe him. She remembered Ben’s hands digging into her hips, his growled assertion that she was his.

Kylo’s claim that Ben did not love her anymore.

Dread settled in her belly and she twisted her sapphire ring around her finger, aware of Kylo’s scrutiny. She did not know what she want. She thought about Ben--the flurry, the rush, the stolen kisses, the afternoons in bed in her cramped room, his mouth worshiping hers. His coldness when she became his bride. His claim that he needed to protect her. His avoidance of her, his ultimatum. His lack of letters from the front.

She thought about Kylo. How he made her laugh. How when she issued a request or an order, he would follow it. She could tell that he did not prefer to be gentle with her, often jamming himself inside of her and stopping, holding her, while he tried to slow down. How he showed her how to protect herself and did not push her away from danger.

She did not know what a wife was. She understood loyalty, fidelity. But, she reasoned, if Ben had abandoned her, had thought it was acceptable to send a twin in his place, then these terms were foreign to him.

The desert had taught her to be loyal to herself.

She had thought his declarations could supersede that.

She had thought wrong.

That night, she crawled over Kylo’s outstretched form, his hands tucked beneath his head as he gazed up at the millions of stars strewn above. She laid a kiss on his flat belly, where his hip bones angled out from his toned body, his biceps, his chest, his collarbone, his jaw.

She cared for him.

She didn’t quite love him.

She didn’t think she could love anyone again with the wild abandonment that she had with Ben.

But her body craved him, needed the release and security he offered. And knew he needed her affirmation. She slowly licked her way down his cock as he nested his hands in her hair, her name escaping his lips. She took him in her mouth, swirling her tongue around the tip, locking her eyes on his surprise gaze.

“Are you sure,” he grit out hoarsely. In response, she kissed down his shaft and gently sucked under one ball before shifting to another, plying one hand lightly up and down his shaft. He shivered and she lathed his tip, sucking the precum dribbling into her mouth, attending to the v where his head met his shaft, Kylo trembling beneath her, his hips arching up to meet her eager mouth.

His cries grew raspy and he jerked up to pull her to his lips, to ravish her mouth, his tongue hot and fierce against hers, his thumb running along the waistband of her trousers. He slid out from under her, wiggling her trousers down and kissed the apex of her thighs. He dragged the flat of his tongue down her slit and she moaned, fisting her hands in his hair.

His thick black hair, so much like Ben’s.

Rey screwed her eyes tight, forced herself to sink into the feeling of Kylo’s mouth moving against her cunt, his little moans as he licked her. She shoved Ben to the back of her mind. She rode hard on Kylo’s tongue. She forced his name through gritted teeth.

He was tender with her, shimming her down to his cock, gently nudging into her entrance, his lips feasting on hers, and she willed herself to become lost in the sensation. She kept her eyes on him as he thrust into her, as he stuttered over her name, as she went over the edge and he quickly followed. As he wiped her thighs and belly down carefully.

She nestled under a blanket next to him, his arm immediately going around to hold her to him, resting her face on his chest. She tried not think about Ben’s jealousy.

He abandoned her.

He sent his brother to take his place.

He was no longer hers. He had given up his claim.

She listened to Kylo’s soft snores as he slid to sleep. She twisted her wedding ring around before tugging it off and tucking it into her pocket.

Some promises were meant to be broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is an Odyssey for Rey! Perhaps she will find Ben at a loom, continuously weaving the same bit over and over and over again.  
> I could not help the Scylla and Charybdis reference.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adventures on Pirate Island

The landing did not go well at all. They had chosen to descend a few miles from the Bakura main island, its mountain rearing well above the sea, smaller islands surrounding it. Rey angled the wings up to create drag and yanked hard on the pulley leading to the top of the balloon, to the flap that would allow the air to escape. Her pulley would, she hoped, allow her to open it and close it to control her descent. 

She yanked. The fabric flipped open to one side and to her dismay, did not close. 

They began to drop quickly as the hot air escaped, the balloon caving in on itself. Kylo frantically dumped the supplies to the center around the mast as the ship sank rapidly. They plummeted through the clouds, her belly clenching tightly. The water was coming closer and closer, individual schools of fish appearing beneath the clear waves. 

A wind blew from the south, buffeting them toward the island as they dropped. Kylo, acting quickly, wrapped a rope around his waist, tying it to the mast, and grabbing a hook, began to climb up it. Rey darted to the back, shutting off the engine as the boat rocked wildly in the air. She watched in horror as Kylo held onto the mast with his knees, whipping the hook around in the air and snagged it on the edge of the balloon. He jerked downward and the balloon moved right, curving over them horizontally, pressing out with the buffeting of air. The ship slowed.

“We’re gonna hit it hard!,” Rey cried as Kylo shimmied down the mast. The sock covered their view, puffing out with air and the ship dove toward the water. Rey wrapped a rope attached to the gunwale around her wrist and clung tightly as the bow plowed through the waves, lifting up and skipping over the water. Her body shook and slammed against the gunwale, water cresting over the bow and splashing into the ship. It rolled in the water, listing starboard and Rey was plunged into the sea, her breath punched out of her. She gasped as the ship righted itself, rolling port, blinking salt out of her eyes. Kylo had tied himself to the mast and was hacking at the rope, trying to release the balloon.

It sailed over their heads before dropping into the water, a maroon stain on the seas. The ship continued to move forward and Rey realized in horror that water was seeping through the bow. She unhooked herself from the hull and moved forward as water splashed beneath her feet. They had about a mile to go before they reached the island. 

A roar ripped through the air and she turned back to see Kylo starting the engine, thrusting the blades into the water. The boat jumped forward and water rushed up through the bottom, lapping at her ankles.

“We won’t make it!,” she yelled back, clambering toward him. He shook his head and angled the boat toward the shore, edging closer. The boat shuddered and ground to a halt, Rey pitching forward and slamming her face on a box. She shook her head and sat up, gingerly touching her split lip. She guessed that they were a quarter of a mile from the beach.

“We’ve hit a sandbar,” Kylo said, leaping out. The bow was buckling, water frothing through.  The sea came up to his waist. He beckoned for Rey to hand him some bags. He loaded up and began to head toward shore. Rey quickly followed, wrapping as many canteens of water around her as possible as the sea began to fill the boat, weighing it down. Rey gazed fearfully into the water, the ship listing to one side before biting back her fear and jumping into the sea. The waves lapped at her chest, stung her cut lip, and, holding the canteens high, she strode toward land. 

The water was warm, almost like sweat, and the beach was hard and pebbly beneath her feet. She dropped onto it in exhaustion, wincing as the rocks bit into her hands. Kylo had dumped the packages on the ground and was wading back in. She shook her head, droplets of water flying off, and laid her cheek on the ground. Her headache was back, a slow pounding the seeped away her strength, her back sore. 

Kylo grunted as he plowed through the water to dump a few crates on the ground. She could see the ship slipping below the surface, the mast the only remnant. She glared up at him. 

“I can’t swim, you know,” she grit out. Kylo blanched.

“Desert,” he whispered aghast. “I’m so sorry, Rey.” She shook her head and held up her hand. He took it and helped her up, their clothes clinging to them, steam slowly rising off in the oppressive heat. Kylo strapped his sword to his waist while Rey checked on the crates, disgusted. They were not water tight and most of their food was ruined. Kylo had saved the pistol with the ammunition and was loading a bag up for himself. She pillaged what food she could, dumping out fruit and dried meat, testing the quality of water and abandoning most of them. She repacked two bags and one canteen for each. It wasn’t much and finding a water source would be high on their needs list, she thought. 

“We need to move,” Kylo began, scanning the horizon. “Someone may have seen us drop out of the sky like that.” Rey hoisted one of the packs on her back, regretfully casting a glance at the sea, the tip of the mast no longer visible through the rolling waves. She mourned for her design but followed Kylo as he headed into the dense foliage ringing the beach. She was grateful that the sun no longer beat down on her but found little reprieve from the heat as they pressed through the glossy dark leaves, water dripping from the trees below, the air hot on her face, rancid like a wolf.

They hiked for nearly an hour, Kylo zigzagging up a mountain, light on his feet as they began to climb up moss covered boulders. Rey was relieved when tucked himself between two massive boulders, his sword on his lap, taking a cautious sip of his water.

“There should be stream further inland,” he said after a moment, scanning the beach with the telescope. “I saw an estuary. If we angle north, we should come across it and can follow it to the source.” Rey took a deep gulp from her canteen. Her headache had moved to the back of her head, a dull buzz. It was, she thought, the best she had felt in days. But her limbs still trembled after the climb and Kylo eyed her with concern. 

“If we find the stream, we might run into the First Order,” she added. He grimaced. 

“We’ll approach it cautiously. You can hang back while I scout around,” he finally remarked. Rey handed him a piece of dried meat and he chewed on it, his brow furrowing in thought. Rey touched her lip again, sore and swollen, her cheek aching from the landing, a rope burn around her wrist. She was slightly embarrassed that she might meet Ben looking disheveled and dirty. She wondered how he would take to Kylo, how he would take her lack of ring on her finger. She wondered how much she would care and knew that it would sting, that it would bury deep and she would carry the ache for years. 

She imagined Kylo’s cool reaction to Ben’s fierce temper.  She reached down and tapped the knife hidden in her boot. 

Kylo stood and stretched, offering her a hand, as they continued up the moment. They were silent, their labored breathing the only sound, as they gripped rocks, leveraged themselves across the mountain, until Kylo stumbled across a path. He immediately retreated back into the foliage, blocking Rey with his arm and kneeling. She paused and squatted near him, the ground shaking beneath her feet. 

She held her breath, afraid to even breathe, as First Order soldiers marched past them in formation. She counted a full platoon, about thirty men, as they moved past, the leaves shaking as they moved forward, pistols strapped to their thighs, lances in their hands. Kylo and Rey remained silent as they moved, not daring step out for a full five minutes, Kylo frowning in concentration. 

Assured that no one else was coming, Kylo slid out of the brush and gazed down the path. Rey began to head in the other direction and Kylo snagged her arm.

“No, we follow.”

“That is a stupid idea,” she countered. “We don’t know where they are going. It could be nowhere or straight into the encampment.”

“Only one way to find out,” he shot back before striding forward. Rey humphed and followed, matching her steps with his, as he crept forward and clung to the foliage along the track. She pushed back the annoyance and wiped at the sweat sticking her curls to her neck and forehead.  It trickled down her back, irritated her with the constant dampness. She found herself longing for the relative coolness of her swamp and derided her own fickle nature. 

Kylo jerked to a halt. 

“They’ve stopped,”he whispered, sidling into the bushes, Rey glancing around her before following. He was dropping his pack on the ground before taking a rope and wrapping it around the tree. She frowned and watched as he slung it up and used it to counter his weight as he shimmed up the thin tree, into the lowest branches, eighty feet or so above the ground. He carefully sat with his back to the trunk and pulled out the telescope, Rey anxiously fidgeting below.

“Don’t move,” came a growl from behind her, pressing something hard and cold into her back. Her heart stuttered and Rey lifted her hands in the air, slowly turning around. Her jaw dropped as she saw her captor. 

“Han?!?” she exclaimed, crying out as he clamped a hand over her mouth.

“Sssssh! Are you trying to get us all killed?,” he shot back, his eyes widening as he took in her figure. “Rey! What the hell are you doing here?” Tears spilled down her cheeks as she brushed his hand aside and wrapped her arms around him. A moment later, he settled his hands on her back, his cheek on top of her head.

“You’re not dead,” her voice muffled by his shirt. 

“Of course not, sweetheart. Do you really think that red headed freak could get rid of me?,” he soothed. She pulled back and wiped at her cheeks. “But what are you doing here?”

“Looking for Ben,” she replied. Han seemed to age at the very moment, deepening the lines on his grizzled face. He was holstering his pistol, anger on his features.

“Ben wanted you to stay on the mainland, Rey. If the First Order finds you here, then Snoke will have all that he needs to destroy us all,” Han stated.

“He never told me this,” she shot back. Han frowned. 

“Never? But--” he whipped out his pistol and aimed it behind her. Rey whirled to see Kylo, fury contorting his features, his gun aimed at Han.

“Stop it! Stop it right now!” She slapped Kylo’s pistol down. “Han, this is--”

“Kylo Ren,” the older man grimly interrupted. “What are you doing here?”

“Protecting Rey,” Kylo shot back.

“I can’t believe we thought this could work out,” Han snarled. He looked at Rey, his eyes widening as he took in her bruises, her split lip, a love mark on her neck. “Did you hurt her? Rey, did he touch you?” She backed up to press herself against Kylo’s chest, his arm immediately coming around her. Han blew out his breath and shook his head. 

“This is gonna get real messy,” he predicted, swearing under his breath. Rey glowered. 

“Your son abandoned me!,” she shouted, not caring that the First Order could be lurking in the woods. 

“Is that what this monster has been filling your head with? Rey, he’s not even human!” Rey gasped and shrank away from them, her heart racing, her head aching. 

“How can you say that about your son?,” she demanded. Han shook his head.

“He’s not my son! He’s a kriffin receptacle for Ben’s excess magic!” Rey stumbled across a root, her back slamming against a tree before turning and retching all over the ground. She felt tender hands soothing her back and pushed them away. She looked into Kylo’s stunned eyes, his anguished face and knew Han was speaking the truth. Anger burned through her. 

“Did you get her pregnant?,” Han was asking, pulling Kylo from her. 

“You know I can’t!,” he snapped. The world tilted and whirled and Rey clung to the blooming hatred.

“You all knew. You all knew. What am I? Some sort of playthings for the Solos?!?!,” she snapped. Han held his hands in front of her, sorrow in his eyes. 

“I am so sorry, sweetheart. I never wanted any of this for you.” Her chest tightened and she thought she couldn’t ever breathe again, knew she would never love again.

“Rey, what I said was true. I love you,” Kylo insisted and Rey snarled, yanking her knife from her boot and pointing it at him.

“Stay away from me!” 

Han surveyed them grimly.

“I think we better all go talk to Ben.” He struck out to the west without waiting for them to follow. Kylo gazed at Rey with mournful eyes and opened his mouth. Rey held up her hand. 

“I don’t want to hear from you anymore,” she ground out. His shoulders slumped, his face solemn. Still, he offered her his hand to stand. She swatted it away and marched after Han, her shoulder blades itching from Kylo’s intense stare. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ends part 2


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am humbled and deeply thankful for everyone who has stopped by and read this monstrous thing. For every kudo and comment.   
> Thank you.   
> **********************  
> “The point of modernity is to live a life without illusions while not becoming disillusioned”   
> ― Antonio Gramsci

The hike across the island to Ben’s was long and strenuous, Rey gasping as they walked down cut backing trails to a valley. The island was densely vegetated with tall slim trees, thick bushes, a riot of colors from flowers bursting from them, moss covered limbs blocking their path. Kylo worried about Rey’s obviousness illness--her wan face, her strained breathing. He offered his hand more than once to help her clamber over a tree or slide through a set of massive roots thrust up from the ground, only to have her ignore him.

Her refusal to meet his eyes pained him and his grief sat heavy in his belly.

He caught Han’s eye and titled his head toward Rey. Han nodded and called for a rest, his own face haggard as he sat on a boulder. Rey dropped down gratefully and took a long swallow from her canteen. She closed her eyes and leaned back. The buzzing in her head only grew stronger as they neared Ben.

“We crash landed. Rey was injured,” Kylo began, offering her an apple. Rey ignored it. Sighing, Kylo handed Han the fruit who then passed it to Rey.

“Don’t be so childish!,” Kylo snapped. Rey pivoted her head to look at him, his hair plastered to his head with sweat, his grey tunic clinging to his body. She knew him, intimately. She could see the wounded look on his features, imagined it mirrored her own. But she fed on her anger, let it course through her, thick and gratifying.

“I didn’t realize non humans had rights,” she sniffed imperiously. Han began to stride away, calling over his shoulder that they were only a few miles away.

Ben’s home was nestled in a valley, surrounded by overgrowth so deep and thick that Rey would have strolled right past it if Han hadn’t suddenly jerked to the right. She pushed back the leaves and followed him down a rough path to a small cottage with large windows on all sides, offering a clear view of the home, a cozy living room, a sprawling kitchen and lab. And inside, Rey could see a dark form bent over paperwork.

She knew the expanse of that back.

Her ribs squeezed tightly, an iron band around her chest, and her palms became sticky. She rubbed them consciously on her thighs, could feel Kylo’s scrutiny from behind her.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Kylo muttered darkly. Han snorted.

“Stay behind me,” Han ordered. “Both of you.” He shot Kylo a frigid look and entered. Rey breathed a sigh of relief when she was greeted by cool air blowing over her body.  Her headache spiked as they entered the lab and she scratched at her arms, the feeling of a thousand bugs skittering over her skin.

“Ben,” Han said softly. Ben did not look up, his pen scratching over some papers.

“You’re back early. Did you see what they were doing with the equipment?”

“Something came up,” Han replied evenly. Ben’s head shot up and his eyes widened. Rey offered a tremulous smile.

“Rey,” he breathed. “Oh, gods, no, what are you doing here?” He took in her pale face, her nails skating over her arms and strode over to her. “You must be in so much pain. I’m surprise you’re still standing.”

“Why? What’s going on?,” Kylo demanded.

“I put a repulsion on her to keep her away from her. In our wedding band. To be activated in emergencies. It should have been strong enough to keep her out completely, but I guess not,” Ben admitted. Rey collapsed in a chair, closed her watering eyes from the strong light, as Ben headed into the kitchen and began mixing something in a cup before pouring in hot water. Both Han and Kylo were fidgeting as he walked back to Rey and pressed the mug into her hand. “Angelica root. For the fire. It will help with your pain while I fix the ring.” He pulled at her left hand and stared down, puzzled. “Darling, where’s the ring?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” Han muttered under his breath. Rey saw Ben’s gaze traveling over her, taking in her muddied clothes, her cut lip, the bruise at the base of her neck. His eyes flashed and he glanced up at Kylo.

“You bastard,” he seethed. Rey laid a hand on Ben’s shoulder and he gripped it,looking down at her, his face twisted in hurt.

He said icily: “Drink your tea.” She raised her hackles at him but saw Han give a subtle shake to his head. Pick your battles, he had warned when she was in court decorum courses. She took a sip of the tea and felt relief run through her immediately. The pressure in her head lightened and she sighed in gratitude. Ben continued to stare at her hands.

“I see you found one ring and discarded another,” he oozed with false charm. Rey repressed a shudder. She had seem him like this before and loathed it. The prince with the right words and a twist to his lips to send any courtier quaking. She reached into her pocket and offered him the wedding ring on her palm, a whimper escaping as pain pulsed through her. Ben plucked it off her hand and strode away, Rey sagging as the aching ebbed from her body and her mind began to clear. She watched both Ben and Kylo carefully, sipping her tea.

“I think we better get everything cleared up first,” Han cautioned. “Otherwise, there’s gonna be a big mess here and I’m not just talking about broken lab equipment.”

“What do you want to know, father? My wife apparently fucked my brother and they both show up on my doorstep for what? My blessing?,” Ben said tightly. He leaned over the table and shoved his face near Rey’s. “I told you once; you’re mine. And I don’t share.”

“Yet you left me alone for years! No letters, no explanations, nothing!,” she screamed, letting loose the rage that had been building for years, the anguish, the betrayal. Ben, however, was cool. He started at her icily and she tried not to shake. He knew his malevolent strength, how one turn of phrase, one arched brow could paralyze an opponent.

She thought of Kylo and his furies, furniture smashed against the wall. She glared up at Ben.

“I sent you Kylo to protect you,” Ben replied regally, jabbing a finger toward his brother. He snapped his head toward Kylo. “And what? Do you think protection gave you a right to fuck her?”

“Hey! I didn’t raise you to talk like that,” Han shouted. At the same time, Kylo roared: “Don’t talk to her that way!” Ben clenched his first tight and Han strode over to place a hand on his son’s arm. He angled his body between him and Rey.

Han said calmly: “She is not yours, Ben. Secondly, you knew that was not what I was asking for.”

“Why don’t you tell it?,” Rey pleaded, turning her tear streaked face to him. Han’s face caved with pity and he squeezed her arm. Ben was breathing heavily and he withdrew to the other side of the room, glaring at Kylo who leaned against a doorway, arms folded across his chest.

He was curled inside himself, ready to pounce. All he needed was the right provocation, judging by the eager gleam in his eye.

“When Ben was born, he was so powerful, so full of power to move the aether that most of us got a rather unpleasant shock when we touched him. And Ben, well, he was in pain. Luke had the idea to take a baby from one of the peasants and see if he could transfer Ben’s power into him. Luke would then keep them both as students.”

“How does he look like Ben?”

“Equivalent exchange,” Ben shot. “My power overrode his.”

“After I died,” Kylo chimed in. “Luke miscalculated the spell and killed me. And then used Ben’s power to bring me back to life.”

“But not entirely back. I’m not sure he’s all there,” Ben said with a thin smile. “He’s terrible at math and his alchemy is intermittent at best.”

“And somehow, the second exchange changed his features,” Han admitted. “Luke can probably explain the mechanics better than me. But in bringing him back to life, he somehow cloned Ben. And, in the end, Luke was successful. He was able to siphon off of Ben’s power into Kylo. And--”

“And they knew Snoke was creeping around, looking for Ben. They placed me in his room when they thought Snoke would make his move. And he did.” Kylo was not quite successful at keeping the bitterness from his voice. Rey felt a twinge of sympathy but shunted it aside, refused to indulge it.

“Kylo was bred to be a double agent,” Ben stated. “He provided us with intelligence. He already had enough information on Snoke when we met at Mortis. I knew Croytan was going to lose--we just didn’t have the weaponry. We needed to withdraw, count our losses, and focus on stopping him in other ways,” Ben added. “I knew Snoke was searching for you, Rey, so I sent Kylo to draw off my scent and to protect you. A fortunate side effect of our twinning is that Kylo has a deadening effect. It’s very hard to get a trace of user from tapping into their spells within his presence. I figured it would buy us some time.”

“Why not take me with you?,” Rey whispered. Ben winced and looked down at his feet.

“I thought you would be safer. And we weren’t sure if we could get to Bakura. Ships often don’t make it.”

“Yes, how did you two cross? I didn’t see a ship docking?,” Han shot her a quizzical glance. Rey sat up proudly.

“I built an airship and we flew.”  Both Han and Ben gazed at her in surprise.

“It’s true. She attached a balloon and an engine to a dinghy and we flew here. Took a couple of weeks rather than a month. She’s a brilliant engineer,” Kylo added, smiling down on her. She turned her back to him.

Han shook his head. “No good. The First Order will know we are here and they could draw conclusions from your ship.”

“No,” Kylo interjected. “I smashed up the engine and scattered the pieces before I came back ashore the second time. Our ship was pretty damaged. They’ll think possibly someone came ashore but that’s it.”

Ben was frowning thoughtfully. “That’s actually quite ingenious, Rey. I would love to see your plans.” Rey eyed him carefully but said nothing, folding her hands in her lap. She felt rather than saw Kylo bristle behind her at Ben’s admiration.

“Rey, I only did what I thought was best for you,” Ben entreated. “I just wanted to keep you safe, my dear.”

“Keep me safe?,” she echoed in disbelief. She saw Han bury his head in his hands. “You lied to me.”

“Well, you weren’t exactly trustworthy before I left. I see my grandmother’s ring is back. Where did you find it? Did your other lover return it to you?” Rey opened her mouth to snarl but was pushed back by Kylo, angrily striding toward his brother, his fists at his side.

“If you were less of a presumptive ass, you would know she was blackmailed by Unkar Plutt, the man who abused her in Jakku. But, as usual, you were too busy thinking you know best, that you didn’t stop to ask.” Kylo squared off with him, their noses even, their breathing ragged. Outside of Ben’s rangier frame, they were so similar, their hair brushing their shoulders, their anger palpable, that they almost blurred together.

“And you just thought of a way to get into her pants,” Ben taunted.

“Jealous?” Kylo growled but their father clearing his throat drew their attention. Han jerked a thumb at the stool.

Rey was gone.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren had never know what it was like to be present in his life.

Kylo Ren had never known what it was like to be present in his own life. Shuffled from place to place, squirreled away into a forgotten section of the castle.

Always focused on the future, on the orders, on Ben. 

Always told--you must serve the Crown first.

Always ordered--your duty is to protect the heir. 

He kept his head down, his mouth shut, and instead of being paraded in front of visiting emissaries, he was taught how to use a blade. How to conduct himself as a prince, a sailor, a soldier. All manners of weaponry. Occasionally, Luke would come up and look at him with sad eyes while reviewing the basics of alchemy, the power that stuttered beneath his fingers. 

He kept his head down, accepted the offhanded pets from Leia, the guilty stiff praise from Han, the teasing and taunting from Ben that also came with a brotherly affection, especially when they were shoved into a safe room together, when the danger was most pressing. 

Until he was placed in a trap too enticing for Snoke to resist and found himself whisked away to Uthos. He knew precisely what to say to Snoke to convince the man he had nothing to give up in Croytan. That he was Ben Solo.  Kylo Ren, only a whisper at night amongst a princess and a smuggler. 

No one knew how true it was that there was no home for him. 

He trudged through his days, the perfect double agent, until he encountered Ben at Mortis. Ben’s eyes were wild, his face streaked with dirt and blood, his face alight with a crazed fire. He told Kylo his plan and Kylo, as usual, had bowed his head and accepted his orders. 

His duty was to protect the heir, always. 

Until he met her and he was sure he breathed for the first time. Her kind eyes, that shy grin that sent his heart pattering. Princess Rey Kenobi, Lady of Stewjon, and Luke’s best student. His brother’s wife. 

It was as if he could see clearly for the first time. He could feel his own skin, his blood coursing through his veins, the ice clinging to his heart beginning to thaw. He thought he might die of fear from that thudding in his chest, from the heat climbing up his neck. 

He exhaled. 

He knew this was not the time to break from the mission. It was ridiculous, it was dangerous and he had one imperative--protect the heir at all costs. Ben had transmuted that with: Protect Rey at all costs. 

He tried to protect her from him. He ached for days, wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms, spill the truth. A warning look from Leia quelched that impulse. He argued with Rey, baited her, savored every smile. Tried not to stare in fascination at those capable hands as they kneaded bread, her downcast eyes as she was confined to the kitchen to care for the Resistance. A proper princess, he had first sneered, until he saw her hauling in her nightly catch, blood trailing down her wrist, her face worn. 

Until he saw her whip out her staff and break three men. He wondered how Ben could have ever thought she needed protection. Why she was a pawn and not a queen. His desire grew, spilling over, occupying his thoughts, until he was unable to function, only able to fully live in her presence. 

He tried to behave. He tried not to covet. He knew he was but a tool. But then she strode up to the deck, gliding the damp cloth over her sweat covered neck, tilted her head back, revealing the long smooth expanse of her throat, her pulsing beating wildly against her skin, and it was all he could do to stop himself from clawing her clothes off, from ravishing her on the porch. 

He was starving, he discovered, when she kissed him. He thought he could never be full again. He was hollow and dark and she was the light that shined into every crevice of his being. The recognition that his love for her was so vast it would set the swamps aflame, it would bring deserts into bloom. 

He allowed himself to breathe, to slip into the life he yearned for with her. Shattered by her dreams to seek out Ben, the imbecile, who couldn’t recognize Rey outside of her use. His breath stuck in his lungs, his blood turned to ice as she turned her gaze from him. 

He couldn’t breathe. 

 

Kylo plunged into the forest to look for her, pausing to listen for rustling, for angry steps. He heard cursing to his left and went after her, surveying the crumpled foliage. He really would need to teach her how to be cautious in enemy territory.

Assuming she’d ever let him talk to her again. His chest was in a vise, he was dizzy, all too aware of the gaping where his heart used to be. 

“Rey!,” he called as he came up behind her. She continued to stride forward angrily.

“Leave me alone!” 

“Rey! It’s dangerous here!” She whirled around.

“And what makes you think the First Order won’t treat me any worse than you?,” she snapped, her eyes blazing. He held his hands in front of her. 

“That’s fair.”

“You lied to me! I trusted you! And all this time you were manipulating me!” She slammed her hands into his chest and he stumbled back. He planted his feet and let her pummel him with her palms until she drove her fist into his gut. His air exploded out of him and he stepped back to trip over a root, sway in the air before sitting down hard. He looked up at her, tears coursing down her cheeks, and his lip trembled. 

“I want the truth and you’re going to give it to me,” she snarled, pulling the knife from her boot and pointing it at him.

“There’s no need for threats. You’ve got the most of it. I’ll fill in the blanks,” he said bleakly. 

“Did Ben send you to distract me? Was I supposed to---was I ever supposed to know?”

“No. Some of it was me being deliberately careless. I wanted you to find the journal.”

“How much of that was true?”

“Most of it,” he said cautiously. “I took out some pages so you wouldn’t quite know the whole truth. I didn’t think you could treat Leia the same way.” Rey shook her head and started pacing. 

“I fell for everything! Even the idea that you had some sort of tortured love!”

“Ayla was real, Rey. It would have been appropriate for a man of my rank to have an affair with a maid in the household. I chose her.”

“You chose her?!?” Rey was outraged, her tone scandalized. She planted her hands on her hips, quivering in front of him. He shook his head and slowly stood.

“She was a beautiful woman. She was sweet. She saw me, Rey, as me. I did fall in love with her. And she was killed by Snoke because he thought I was more focused on her than on overthrowing Croytan. She was a simple pawn and I’m sorry for her. If I had kept the dalliance to a simple affair, she’d probably be fat with some cook’s babies. But she saw me, Rey. Not as a tool. But as a person,” he pleaded with her, reaching into his belt and pulling out a locket. He handed it to her, watched as she opened it, her brow furrowing. A daguerreotype of Ayla smiled up at her, thick dark hair spilling over her shoulders, wide brown eyes, a smile hovering on her lips. On the other side was attached a single black curl of hair. Rey ran one finger over it and Kylo waited, his heart thudding. 

“I thought no one would ever see me again, Rey, until you. And I was furious at Ben for how he treated you.” 

“You still lied to me,” she said softly, handing him the locket. He closed it and slipped it back into his belt pouch. Her eyes were softer but wary.

“Because if I told you the truth, Snoke could have used that.”

“You think I would have gone to Snoke?!” 

“No one knew what you would do. Ben thought you would run.”

“You should have found out rather than all of these games!” She began to pace again. “But, yet again, I find myself being used by people. I wish I had never left Jakku. At least I knew where I stood with Unkar!” 

“Rey, please,” Kylo began, keeping his tone low, trying not to show his heart cracking. “I meant what I said. I love you. No matter what, I will place you first. If you want me to go, I will return to Ben, do what is needed here and stay out of your way. But know that you will always have my heart.”

“How can you say that to me?!,” she cried, gripping her hands into tight fists. “How can you? You used me!”

“No, never used. Lied to, yes. But never used. I meant every word, Rey. Every word.” He kept his gaze locked on her, saw her trembling bottom lip and ached to reach out and smooth her pain away. She folded her arms across her chest and looked away. 

“You can’t get me pregnant, can you? Neither you nor Ben,” she said suddenly, eyeing him coldly. He nodded.

“We suspect it’s from the spell Luke did. Consequences.” 

“Equivalent exchange,” she retorted. “To make a life like that, you lost the ability to make more.” 

“You always lose more than expected when you play with forces you don’t understand.” 

Rey snorted. “You’re telling me. I should never have become involved with the Organas.” Kylo remained silent, watching her worry her bottom lip. He waited. He understood patience, had been cultivating it since he was a child, stashed in forgotten rooms. 

“I stand by what I said,” she said finally. “The goal is to stop Snoke. But you, you and Ben. I want to work with Han as much as possible.”

“Whatever you need,” he said quickly. 

“You can’t protect me from Ben, Kylo,” she added. “We need to work this out. I was married to him.”

“I can stop him from hurting you. I know him. He’s petty.”

“He’s my husband,” she said mildly. He raised a brow.

“Under false pretenses. And I--,” he stopped himself in mid-retort, sensing a retreat is in order. He said meekly: “Whatever you wish.”  She gave him a curt acknowledgment before brushing past him to head back to the house. He hung his head and vowed to do whatever it would take to keep her happy even as his heart crumbled and he felt the ice blooming in his veins again. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Organa-Solo reflects

Ben Solo was a spoiled prince and he would be the first to admit it. He was also an excellent tactician, a fair adjudicator, and a more than adept alchemist. His whole life he had been trained to serve Croytan. 

Protect your country above all else.

Remember your duty above all else. 

Croytan above all else. 

Ben was famed for his tunnel like focus, his ability to drill something down into its basic principles. His ability to understand how things hang together. To suspect there was more at play when a rumor of a powerful alchemist was being pursued by Snoke. Only to have Rey arrive at the same time in Alderaan, under the aegis of Lady Maz Kanata, under Luke’s tutelage. 

To have Luke even admit that a woman was the most powerful alchemist he had ever trained. Ben saw opportunity, he saw suspicious conditions, he saw a beautiful woman with a smart gaze and deft hands. Legs that went on forever, pert breasts that fit perfectly in his hands. The little lines that appeared between her eyebrows when she was intent on her work, the way she would suck her bottom lip between her teeth. 

He finally admitted to himself on the long and tortuous journey across the sea to Bakura that maybe he had thought with his dick more than his head a few times with Rey. He had never meant to seduce her. Never meant to fall for her. Felt himself helpless with her, seeking only her kisses. 

He knew above all he had to protect her from Snoke. If Snoke ever got his hands on her, the game would be up. There would be no coming back from it. Rey was an amplifier. His workings were more potent with her than on his own. And she could regenerate. 

Ever alchemist had a limit of things he could infuse his life force into, workings he could create. 

But Rey regenerated.

Her power was limitless. 

Ben was in awe of her potential. But even as his heart ached to save her, his mind calculated her use to Croytan.

He never hated himself more than in that moment. Luke threatened and cajoled him not to marry Rey, to let it be a dalliance and nothing more. But Ben would not be persuaded. The thought of waking up beside her every morning propelled him through his days with more happiness than he ever thought imaginable. He began to think of ways to regenerate life without using Rey. Of how to protect her. He built her a lab, figuring she would be happier there than with courtiers who only sought to leech from her, to use her to climb up the ranks. 

Rey was a brilliant scientist but when it came to politics, Ben thought she was an amateur. He would not throw her to the wolves.

When the ring had disappeared, he had been furious. All of his love, all of his care, to be tossed aside on a whim. He began to wonder if she were working with Snoke. He began to wonder if he were the dalliance. 

Every evening he meant to ask her but the image of her ringless finger hammered into his brain, fury spiking through him and he could only snarl.

Even Leia was surprised. Ben was known for a colder temperament, his ability to freeze people out. This heat was not his. 

He thought maybe it was love and began to seal himself off. How could he love someone more than his people? He stared at a portrait of Anakin, his grandfather, before Darth Vader came into being. He had loved someone so fiercely that he had ruined his people to try to keep her alive. 

It was a warning, the tutors said. 

Ben began to form ice in his heart. 

Each night he would stare at a daguerreotype of Rey in her gown, her crown perched on her forehead, a cheeky smile on her face. Her dimples. He would close his eyes and push the image away, his heart aching like an old wound. 

The rumors of Snoke approaching the capital began to appear more frequently in intelligence reports. He was frantic with worry about Rey and his mother, ignoring assurances from others that Leia was more than capable of holding off and escaping a siege. 

Then Kylo appeared in Mortis, the answer to so many concerns. He could send Kylo to protect Rey and his mother. Kylo would know how to handle the situation, could communicate with Ben if necessary. He passed the plan to Kylo who simply nodded and accepted his orders.  The boy had been reared to put the kingdom first, to make Ben’s needs paramount. Luke had derided the plan but in the end had played his part. 

Ben closed off his heart, prayed to forget her, failing. He would wake up in the morning and reach for her.

She was never there. He would close his eyes and allow himself to sink into faded memories. 

Funny how he never imagined seeing her walk through his door. 

A vivid purple mark on her neck, a badge screaming at him that he had failed, that someone had touched what belonged to him. Fury reverberated through him and something clawed up his throat, strangled him, so that only the coldness spilled out. 

When he saw her gone, with Kylo going after her, he collapsed on a stool, buried his head in his hands. 

“Well, you messed that up, son,” Han remarked drily. “I told you from the beginning, woman always find out the truth.”

“Shut up, Dad,” Ben ground out. Han sighed and rubbed Ben’s back.

“Listen I’m going back to the Falcon. I’ll let you three kids work it out. If Rey wants to stay with me, she can.” 

“What am I supposed to do?,” Ben raised his face to look at his father. Han shrugged. 

“Tell her the truth. All of it. Do you want to stay married to her?”

“I thought you opposed my marriage to her.”

“I did. She’s too good for you. And you don’t marry your weapons.”

“You did the Falcon,” Ben shot back. Han shrugged good naturedly. 

“Yeah, well,” he trailed off. “Look, I know things were never the best with your mother and me but we tried. You haven’t really been trying. If you want her to forgive you, you are gonna need to work for it. And it’s going to hurt.”

“I can handle pain,” Ben said sullenly. Han eyed him in disbelief and shook his head. 

“See ya, kid. I’ll be around.” He slid out the door and Ben gave a little snort. What a mess. What a kriffin’ curse. He sat in silence, listening to the gurgle of the kettle behind him, and wondered what Kylo and Rey were doing.

He imagined her body entwined around his, her mouth slack with need, his twin feasting on her collarbone. He festered. He remembered the mornings he woke up without her, closing his eyes and imagined her next to him, the sunlight playing on her shoulders, her sleepy smile, the press of her body against his. 

Her soft lips and sighs.

He mourned for the taste of her. 

His heart ached, his legs tremored, and he recognized the signs of a lost cause. He thought about whether he should abandon the campaign. 

The door opened and Rey entered, her head held high. 

He looked up. 

He found himself a sudden believer in lost causes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Rey! 
> 
> You see what I'm doing? 
> 
> I am trying to get these chapters out the next couple of days since I've got family coming into town and I won't be able to write for a couple weeks.   
> Thanks for reading! Your comments and kudos shine a brightness into my dark and devious mind! :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey had always known hunger.

Rey had always known hunger. Had always known want. One of her first clear memories was of watching a couple through the tavern window enjoying a meal, their teeth tearing into fresh white meat, juices dribbling down their chins, their fingers greasy until they sucked each one clean. Her stomach had twisted and clenched, her mouth dry, and she understood the pulsing in her belly. 

Hunger. 

Want. 

Always warring within her. 

When she was older, dragging bits of scrap to Unkar for his off handed appraisal, she had often thought that she could waylay one of the travellers going through Jakku and take what she wanted. She was deadly with her staff, her elbows, her fists. After the incident with the boy, the other scavengers rarely bothered her anymore. She could plunder the gold and jewels from the passing carriages, buy all the food she wanted, and shove it deep into her belly. 

Finally silence the want that prowled through her. 

She toiled through her days, keeping her head down, until the aether system came to Jakku, decades after it was in Alderaan and other cities. Unkar understood its capabilities; its ability to indenture people to him. To charge a premium. 

The problem was, he had no alchemist to maintain the aether systems, to start the lights that would bathe each house in a warm glow. 

Until he found her playing with it, setting it aflame with her mind, one idle day when a sudden rainstorm blew through. His eyes had widened and a vicious gleam appeared, his mouth curling. 

Rey recognized that look and fear shook her. She pushed it aside, rose to her feet, angled her body from him. 

Instead of violence, he offered her food. A buffet. All she had to do was to was help him run the system. She considered it for two days. On the third day, a messenger arrived at her little hut, a box in his hand. He plunked it down in front of her and rode away without a word. She eyed it for most of the day until finally, cautiously, she opened it. To find a feast and a note. 

_ Just say yes, _ read the untidy words. 

She tore into the food, cramming it down her throat until the ache in belly subsided. Then she was unexpectedly wrenched forward, her stomach clenching, heat running in tremors down her side as she retched all of the food on the floor. 

She learned her lesson. 

All feasts come with a price.

She worked for Unkar for a year, his gifts becoming less and less until she was living again on thin gruel and hard chunks of bread while he grew fat and thick with the money, withholding aether until the town folk could cough up more and more coin. Or trade away more. Whatever met his whims.  

Then Maz Kanata rode in, Lady of Takodana. Rey had seen her entourage go by a few times throughout the years. But this time her carriage stopped in front of Unkar’s home. A wizened woman stepped gracefully out, her smooth movements belying her age. She strode into the tavern. 

And Rey found herself bumping along in the carriage to Takodana, a recipient of a gift--a scholarship. She could barely process her surprise at the transition, her back sinking into the rich fabrics, Lady Kanata’s warm eyes on her as she served Rey, a simple scavenger, tea and cookies. It felt like a dream. But the pain reminded her of her reluctantly drawn out promise. Her arm was ringed with bruises, sore from Unkar’s nails digging into her. 

“You learn and you return. Or I’ll make you pay,” he growled into her ear before nudging her with his thick lips. “You know I’ll find you wherever you are, Rey.” She shuddered. He had more than once offered her a position among his girls and she had always refused. 

She had to draw the line somewhere.

And somewhere, in her mind, was a soothing voice telling her that love was important, that wrapping your body around someone should mean something, it should mean a story was being created between two lovers. 

She imagined it was her mother. 

She had never imagined that wrapping her body around Ben’s could lead to such misfortunate.

But she forgot.

All feasts come with a price.  

  
  


Rey watched Ben warily as she entered the room, Kylo at her heels. Ben lifted his head from his hands, his eyes red-rimmed. She leaned against the wall and folded her arms across her chest. Kylo moved across the room to the kitchen and started rummaging through the pantry. Ben shot him a cross look. 

“What are you doing?”

“Hungry,” he replied, slicing some bread and cheese. He offered some up to Rey and she shook her head. She wanted to keep this clean and simple. She needed the time to mend the gushing from her heart, the ache that caused her legs to waver, that made her weak. 

“Ben, I need to talk to you,” she began in a clear, even voice. Ben turned away from Kylo in disgust and smiled at her. She refused to let it warm her. 

“I’m all ears.”

“That’s for sure,” Kylo grumbled around a mouth of food. Rey glared at him. 

“Let me start, Rey. I have some things---”

“No. No, you always go first. It’s my turn now,” she walked forward and slammed her palm on the table. Ben stilled before nodding once. She saw a wariness slide into his eyes. He had never seen her lose her temper before. 

He had no knowledge of the danger she could pose. 

She got it all out at once before she could hesitate any longer: “You broke my heart. You used me. And I have no idea if I can remain married to you. I don’t know _how_ I can.” 

Ben gazed at her, stunned. 

“Divorce is forbidden among royal couples,” Ben got out haltingly. Rey stood straighter, her frown deepening. Ben’s eyes widened with panic and she watched him hunt for the right words, to take back his error. 

“I’ll just leave then,” she said coolly.  

“No, no, no, that’s not what I meant, not at all,” he stammered. “I love you, Rey. I tried to do what I could to love you and take care of Croytan. I am its king. I cannot abandon it.”

“So this is the life I would have lead then? Always a choice between me and Croytan?,” she sneered before digging in. “Don't you find it funny that Croytan’s most powerful king is impotent?” Ben scowled and shot an accusatory glance at Kylo who shrugged.

“You need to stop underestimating her,” he said before taking a large bite of a pear. 

“What were your plans, Ben, huh? To ensure progression of the the heirs?” Rey planted her hands on her hips and glared at him. Ben pursed his lips before shaking his head.

“I had no plans. I didn’t know if we were going to survive Snoke. I needed to get you out. I thought Kylo would be the best option. He is cunning, he is trained to protect the family. He must accept my orders. I figured he would be the best way to keep you safe while I plotted our next move.”

“Because somehow I, I, I could never be entrusted to help you with that. Even though I helped build some of your weaponry. Even though I am your  _ wife _ ,” she couldn’t keep the bitterness from lacing her words, her eyes wounded. She shoved down the tears. They could not help her. Not now. 

“I, I don’t know how to be a husband,” Ben admitted, swallowing hard. Rey took a step back, surprised. She had thought she was the one unfit for marriage. He continued: “They focused so intently on my becoming king that they forgot to teach me how to be a husband.” 

“Don’t those things come naturally?,” Kylo opined, gesturing with his half eaten pear. Rey growled. 

“Kylo. I would appreciate it if you could give us a few minutes,” she said in a tight voice. He opened his mouth to protest but stopped as she shot him a sharp look.

“As my lady commands. Ben, is there a shower here?”

“There’s a cold bath in the room down the hallway on the right. There’s a hot springs about a quarter of a mile northwest.” Kylo nodded and marched out, pausing to whisper into Rey’s ear that he would not be far. She settled into a seat at the opposite end of the table from Ben and waited until she heard the door click shut. Ben let out a sigh of relief. 

“I can’t believe you slept with that ass.”

“What did you expect? You sent an identical twin to watch over me. Did you think I wouldn't sleep with my own husband?” She was incredulous, her mouth hard. 

“He was supposed to let mom know he was Kylo and not me,” Ben ground out, gripping the table with white knuckles. Rey gestured with her chin toward him. 

“I see you didn’t lose your arm.” He raised an eyebrow at her and she tried not to giggle at the absurdity of her situation. 

“Did Kylo tell you that?” She nodded and he shoved himself from the table and began to pace. Rey tilted her head to study him. She was used to his iciness, his cold temper. Here, he prowled, a barely controlled blade of fury. She had never seen this side. She wondered if it was because it was her or because of Kylo or because of their entanglement. She allowed herself to sink into her observation persona, to study Ben as if he were an equation she needed to solve. It kept her safe.

She could shove aside the bile building in her throat. 

“Kylo! I can’t believe him! After all we’ve done for him!” 

“Done for him”,” she echoed dubiously. “You used him. He was a pawn for you since he was an infant!” Ben whirled around on her, his fists clenching.

“He was a peasant! He would have died! We kept him alive and paid his family well for it. He received an education, he lived a fairly simple life the first six or seven years. I don’t know how Snoke treated him but he seems alright.”

“He’s covered in scars. Have you seen his back?” 

Ben snorted and tossed his hair. “Why would I look at his back?” Rey sat quietly, disturbed by his lack of interest, his disdainful attitude. Beneath it, she recognized vulnerability. He was lashing out at the one thing he could hurt. 

Because he couldn’t lash out at her. 

“You talk about Croytan as if it were some sort of paradise. A place of beauty and peace that must be protected at all costs,” she said softly, her eyes distant. Ben stopped pacing and watched her, fidgeting, unsure of what to do with his hands. “But that is not the country I knew. We were starving in Jakku, exploited by bosses who ran oasis stations. I was a starving child and I wasn’t the only one. Royalty came through the main highway through Jakku all the time, saw us begging at Niima Outpost when they watered their horses or purchased more fuel for their steam carriages.  And ignored us. Called us riffraff, said the country would be better if it were free of us.” 

Ben opened his mouth to protest and Rey held up a hand. He closed it reluctantly. 

“We paid taxes. Every year, your tax collector came to my hut and would take what he thought could satisfy what he thought I owed to my princess. Never explained how he arrived to his sum. Just pilfered through my home and took until he was satisfied,” she was cold as she recounted and began to rub her arms. Ben took a step toward her and she shook her head fiercely, gritting her teeth to continue. “Do you know I had a goat once? Called him BB8 cuz he was a baby and branded with the number 8. He didn’t take much to feed and I got plenty of milk from him and could even make cheese. It was a good six months before your tax collector came and took him from me. Offered no response. And what did I get from it? Absolutely nothing. Weeks of starving until I found enough salvage from a carriage wreck to please Unkar.” 

“Rey, I’m so sorry. Jakku is one of the fiefdoms we don’t quite have under control--” She cut him off with an abrupt hand gesture.

“Children starve in Alderaan. After I married you and you sent me to open orphanages, the home minister said he hated attending them. Just a way to easily round up the trash and keep them out of the way of their betters.” Her tone had become more acidic. She glanced up to see Ben shaking his head, shame in his eyes.

“I had no idea.”

“Of course not. Your attention was elsewhere. It always was,” she smiled morosely. “Except in bed. That’s the only time you paid attention to me.”

“And in the lab,” he reminded softly, crossing the room to take the chair next to her. He took her hands in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. She looked into his eyes, her own swimming with tears, her voice thick when she spoke next.

“So you tell me Croytan is important, that it is a light, that it must be preserved yet I saw a country full of selfish, ridiculous courtiers more concerned with what headpiece was more fashionable than with people starving or dying. More concerned with using treasury funds to build another opulent palace than to come up with a, I don’t know, plan for homeless families.”

“Mother and I were more focused on trying to recover from grandfather’s foolish scheme with the Emperor than with domestic affairs. I understand we may have failed in areas as a result. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Rey. I had no idea,” he leaned into her, let her see his intensity, his sincerity. She sensed it and nodded, reaching up to wipe away her tears. “We were so concerned about Snoke rising in power in the east that we lost focus. And I’m sorry you suffered.”

Rey laughed bitterly. “Many of us suffered.”

“I know and I can’t change it. All I can do is resolve what is here and now. And that is you and me. And Snoke. He must be stopped Rey. I cannot stress how dangerous he is.” She nodded.

“I met him.” At her statement, he drew back, his eyes wide, his mouth working like a fish. She let out a harsh laugh and related her experience in the communication circle, Snoke’s promises, and her flight a week later. He absentmindedly continued to rub circles on the back of her hand and she found that she liked it, the sweep of his broad thumb over her skin, warm and dry. She would almost say soothing but she wasn’t prepared to be mollified yet. 

“He might suspect that you came to Bakura.” 

“Leia thought about that and set up a decoy for me in the north. Some Resistance member named Keira who looked somewhat like me. Draw off some of their suspicions at least.” She finally withdrew her hand from his and slumped in her chair, her stomach growling. Ben cocked an eyebrow. She shrugged. 

“Long day.” He stood and walked over to Kylo’s mess and began to assemble her a sandwich. She sat quietly, watching his movements, and thought about next steps. She was exhausted, she discovered, her limbs heavy and slow moving, her eyes raw, her mind numb. She didn’t think she could finish the conversation with Ben tonight. She wanted food, she wanted a bath, she wanted a bed. 

She voiced those needs to Ben when he placed a plate and a mug of tea in front of her. She was both pleased and surprised to note that he had prepared them both correctly--no egg vinegar mix, only olive oil and pepper on the bread and meat. She took a big bite and ignored Ben’s amused countenance. 

“I have a few rooms here. I can move some stuff around and you can sleep.”

“I would prefer to be with Han for a while.”

“Well, night comes soon. Han stays in the Falcon which is a good five mile trek from here. You won’t make it. He’ll come back tomorrow and you two can work something out,” he spoke amiably as he stretched out his long legs, threading his fingers together and resting them on his stomach. “But I want to continue discussing us.”

“So do I,” she replied around a bite of her sandwich, fully aware that he was grimacing at her lack of manners. “I’m still pissed at you. At both of you.” 

“I’m aware and I understand. I wonder what is your plan for staying here.”

“Stop Snoke,” she said simply, using her last bit of bread to wipe up the oil that had dripped on the plate. 

“That would require working closely with me and with Kylo. If Kylo is here, then he falls under my command, Rey. You must understand that.”

“I’m not going to sleep with him, Ben. He’s in as deep trouble as you are.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben tense up, his muscles bunching under his shirt. She made a note to ask Kylo why he told her Ben had lost one of his arms. It was the oddest lie. 

“Kylo and I have unfinished business. He knowingly slept with my wife. It’s treason, Rey.” She laid a hand on his knee, her gaze suddenly sharp. 

“You left me. I had no word from you for almost two year and then he shows up. Did you really expect Leia to give up the ghost? How complicated would it have been to tell me everything?” Her words fell from her lips in a jumble, the questions pouring out and she stopped, collected her breath. “Do you see how much easier it was for her to let the lie happen? Kylo didn’t sleep with me right away. It took almost a year for it to happen. Apply your brain to all of the dynamics, Ben. You’re not stupid.”

“Ah, a compliment. I forgot how those sounded from you,” he said laconically instead. Rey shook her head. 

“Your word that you will not harm him or I will leave, darkness be damned.” She and Ben glared at each other, Ben’s easy posture belying the anger simmering beneath his dark eyes. His was colder than Kylo’s anger, she thought, studying his face, clear and free of Kylo’s scar. He was handsome, she decided, and thought of the heady days of their youth, how they tumbled into bed, tumbled into marriage. She averted her eyes. Ben sat up and took her chin in his hand.

“What’s the matter?”

She struggled not to cry again, too weary from the tumultuous day. “You and I were never friends. Colleagues, maybe, and lovers pretty quick after we met.” She licked her lips, took in his curious gaze. “Was it just lust, Ben?”  Her voice wavered at the end but she took a small measure of comfort that it did not crack. She sat, breathlessly, while Ben searched her face.

“No, it wasn’t. I love you, Rey. I missed you so much. I would wake up in the morning and long for you but you were never there. I could only take comfort in your safety. You mean more to me, more to me--,” he struggled for the words and Rey lifted her chin out of his grip, smiling weakly.

“More than most, but not Croytan,” she supplied. He slumped, defeated.

“It’s not like that.” 

“It’s like something,” she agreed, taking a swallow of her tea. “I’m going to bathe in the hot spring. We need some time apart.” She started to turn when her arm was grasped by Ben’s strong hand. She tilted her head to look down at him, his grim mouth, his mournful eyes. 

“I love you, Rey Kenobi. With all of my deformed heart. I know I’ve been a terrible husband. But I’m willing to try, if you’ll let me.” She slipped her hand out of his and continued toward the door, carefully arranging her features to be as flat as possible, her heart racing, her head pounding. Ben called her name again and, impatiently, she twisted around to see him walking toward her, a towel in one hand, a bar of soap in another.

“Walk out the path way you took in from the main road. Cross the main road, go down about five minutes. There will be a large boulder bisecting the road. Take the fork to the left and you’ll arrive at the hot springs in ten minutes or so.” She mumbled her thanks, took the presented items, and left, lost in her own thoughts. 

She did not see Kylo watching her from his perch up a tree, did not hear him drop to the ground and begin to follow her. 

She did not know that Ben waited ten minutes, pacing in the lab, running his hands through his hair and replaying the conversation in his head, reviewing all of his mistakes, before swearing and darting out of the house, cursing himself for his stupidity. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. 
> 
> Yes, the egg vinegar mix is mayo which blech. Cannot stand. I can see readers fleeing this work now. "Not a mayo supporting work? Get out!" (Should add that as a tag)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben proposes another preposterous plan. Will Rey go for it?

Ben followed Rey’s footsteps, rolling his feet so as to remain silent in the forest. The sun was dipping below the mountains, bathing the valley in pale twilight, mist beginning to rise from the damp floor. He thought idly that he should have handed her a knife something. Surely, she wouldn’t know how to use a pistol. He comforted himself with the idea that he was doing this for her safety. 

He was about thirty feet from the hot springs when he hunched over and crept along, moving off the path and pushing large fronds from his face. He crouched down as soon as he could see the springs clearly but where he remained hidden from view.

The hot springs were a series of pools, steamy and green, carved into the limestone that that made up the hills. He held his breath, his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he watched Rey drop her tunic from her fingers and stretch. Her skin was as golden as he remembered, her arms browner than he was thought. There were red marks all along as her spine, as if she had been rubbed up against something hard and repeatedly, and a bruise on her ass. He suppressed a growl and imagined punching Kylo in the face. Repeatedly. Until he fell to the ground and cried for mercy.

Nevermind that in all of their practice duels as children, Kylo often beat Ben. 

He bit his lip as she dipped a toe into the water, bliss exploding over her features, before she lowered herself into the pool. He let his eyes roam over her breasts, her flat belly, her toned arms and felt himself grow hard immediately. He shifted his position and moved to his knees. Rey was unwinding her hair from her knots, letting it flow into the water, before diving under. He groaned as she rose from the water to stand, water sliding between her breasts, dripping down over her hips, the  water lapping at her waist.

He wanted to lap at her waist. 

He wanted to lather her with soap and kiss each freckle. 

He had been living off memories for years now, faded photographs, his mind hazy with details. He soaked in every glint of light off her skin, her hair clinging to her neck, her arms spread out as she relaxed on the side, her eyes closed in relaxation. He remembered the first time he managed to slide the tunic off of her, her petite breasts pebbling in the cool air. How soft and pliable they were beneath his fingers. How he could bring her mewling with a few caresses of his thumb against her pert nipples. 

He shifted, his trousers uncomfortably tight against him. He recognized the troubling truth: his wife was the most gorgeous woman to ever walk the planet. 

He could easily see how Kylo would manipulate their shared loneliness to his advantage. 

He sighed gustily and forced himself to still as Rey looked up, her eyes scanning the foliage. She shook her head and picked up the soap, beginning to rapidly run it down her body. Ben started to creep away and froze when he felt a knife against his neck.

“Stalking on your own wife? That’s creepy, brother,” Kylo murmured into his ear. Irritated, Ben swatted him away. Kylo stooped above him, a cocky grin on his face.

“She’s my wife, idiot. What are you doing?,” he snapped hoarsely. 

“Protecting her from the First Order,” Kylo drawled.

“Yeah sure. Protecting her so well that they would have slit your throat.” Kylo shook his head at the weak threat and Ben growled. “If we are going to fight, let’s get out of here. She’s had a rough day already.” Kylo nodded and gestured for Ben to lead the way, following silently after. Ben looked back once, Rey hidden behind the dense foliage and sighed. How he longed to join her.

How he longed to be worthy to join her. 

The two men marched steadily along until they reached the boulder. Ben stopped abruptly and whirled around to face his brother. 

“You went against every order bringing her here!”  Kylo’s eyes widened and Ben was pleased that he threw his brother off. 

“We were no longer safe in our current location. And given Snoke’s spies out looking for her, it was likely that most of Croytan was not safe,” he stated clearly, as if giving a report. “Rey was also determined to come to you and who was I to refuse her?”

“You are my man, subject to my orders, not hers.”

“And I changed those orders.” Kylo looked down his nose at Ben, a hard act given they were the same height. Ben snorted and tossed his hair, thrusting his finger into his twin’s chest. 

“You should be executed for treason.”

“Plenty of queens take lovers outside of their husbands,” Kylo demurred. “After all, wasn’t a Mandalorian warrior visiting your bedroll while we were encamped?” 

“Visited. I never slept with her,” Ben defended, his voice indignant. “She wanted what she could not have. I was faithful; Rey was not.”

“Rey thought I was her husband,” Kylo countered, a cruel gleam in his eye. “You should have heard her--oh, Ben, oh Ben don’t stop.” He pitched his voice higher as he imitated Rey’s cries, Ben’s face growing pale with fury. With a snarl, Ben launched a fist into his brother’s gut and Kylo bent over, his air exiting in a whoosh. Ben followed it with a punch to the face, a kick at Kylo’s knees. 

Kylo snapped and and hurled himself at Ben’s midsection, flinging them both on the ground. They grabbed at each other, finding a space to dig in wherever they could, rolling on the ground. 

“You bastard! You don’t talk about her like that!,” Ben managed to spit out before Kylo’s elbow chucked him under the chin. 

“You don’t deserve her,” Kylo gnashed, slamming Ben on his back and rising unsteadily to his knees. 

“Neither do you!,” Ben retorted, shoving his knee into Kylo’s crotch. Kylo let out a shriek and Ben leveraged himself to his elbows, scooting back, and ramming a boot in Kylo’s chest. Kylo toppled over and staggered upright. Ben stared up at him panting, his brother’s face twisted as he heaved. Ben shuddered. He forgot Kylo’s single minded determination. 

“You abandoned her. Do you really think she wouldn’t think I was her husband?”

“You were supposed to tell her the truth!”

“Yeah? Why should I do all your dirty work, Ben?,” Kylo shot back, his arm still cradling his midsection. 

“She’s  _ my wife _ ,” Ben gritted out. Kylo shook his head.

“You married her for her power and you know it.”

“I loved her.”

“You liked fucking her. I remember what we discussed at Mortis.” Ben fell silent, worrying his lip. 

“I was upset then.” 

“No. You just don’t like people touching your stuff,” Kylo sat on a boulder, bracing himself up with his arms planted on his knees. “Remember when we were in the nursery, about three or four, and your nurse gave you a toy you didn’t want? Some sort of wind up duck? You threw it aside but when I started playing with it, you threw a fit, hit me, cried, said I took it. I got such a lashing from that.” Ben squirmed under Kylo’s gaze and looked away, red staining his cheeks. 

“I was spoiled, I know that.”

“Han giving you shit about whining while on the Falcon?”

Ben was silent for a moment. “Dad never liked the plan with you.” 

“Neither did Luke. Neither did Leia, particularly. Yet here we all are. The consequences of decisions none of us liked to make.”

“You liked the decision to fuck my wife.” Kylo lowered his head, a rumble escaping his lips. 

“None of that now. You respect her or I will rip your face off. And take your place as king.”

Ben cocked a brow and pulled himself to his feet, crossing his arms across his chest. His jaw ached painfully from Kylo’s well timed hits. “How do I know you aren’t working with Snoke? That this isn’t some plan to destroy our family?”

Kylo shrugged. “You don’t.” 

“Then I should kill you.” He whipped the knife out from where he palmed it behind his back. Kylo grinned. 

“You really think you could take me with that little thing?”

“I took you now.” Kylo’s shoulder shook from restrained laughter, his eyes glittering with mirth. Ben frowned. “What?”

“You only won because I stopped. Because Rey is about to show up---” Ben heard a rustling from his left, “now.” As he spoke, Rey stepped into the clearing, her wet hair loose around her face, the towel slung over her shoulder. She took in the two men with a slight lift of her brow. 

“If you continue to fight over me, there is no chance I will forgive either of you,” she said shortly. Ben blushed and looked away. Kylo managed to look cringed under her flat, appraising look. 

“So there is a chance, then, for us?,” Ben asked softly. Rey turned her gaze to him and he tried not to shiver. He remembered that look. She had been pulled into a debate with another alchemist, a man who thought women were too stupid to be in the sciences. The man had quailed under her onslaught of knowledge, her superior skills, until he slunk out of the room, ashamed. 

Ben understood that quailing now and forced his legs to remain still under her fierce face. 

“There might be a chance. But not if you behave worse than children. Not if you continue to treat me as an object,” she raised her voice to continue. “And to make it clear, I fucked Kylo, Ben. That was my decision. You want someone to fight, you fight me.” Ben’s hopeful face fell, his mouth turning down, his shoulders slumping. 

“I can’t hold you responsible, Rey. He came to you under false pretenses.”

“That you set up. We are all accountable here. And now, rather than fighting, we move forward,” she snapped back.

“How?,” Kylo interjected. “You’ve requested space but it’s not like we’ve got a lot of options here in Bakura.” All three fell silent, lost in their thoughts as they worked through the complicated mess they found themselves mired in. Rey knit her brows in thought, head tipped up to the dark skies. Night had fallen as they had argued and soon they would be plunged into total darkness. 

“We need to head back,” Ben ordered. “The predators here won’t hesitate to take a bite out of us.”

“And I won’t to take one of out them,” Kylo’s teeth flashed in the gloom as he spoke. Rey snorted disdainfully and began to stride toward the hut, keeping to the path, the men behind her. 

“I have a solution,” Ben proposed as they entered the home. He began to hit the levers around the house, lowering reflective blinds to cover the windows and to prevent the light from leaking out. Rey watched, an intrigued gleam to her face. 

“I’m all ears,” Kylo said, dropping onto a couch, exhaustion in every line. 

“I know,” Ben retorted, harking back to the earlier sarcasm. Kylo grinned. 

“Spill,” Rey demanded, placing her towel across the back of the wooden chair to dry. 

“We earn your trust with your time. For every hour you are with me, you spend an hour with Kylo. Separately, ideally, so we don’t fight one another.”

“We clash often,” Kylo offered. 

“Too similar,” Rey remarked, taking a seat in a large arm chair. Both men shrugged in embarrassed acknowledgment at the same time, but Ben found himself wondering just how similar. He turned narrowed eyes to Kylo who winked back. 

“He’s bigger than you, Ben, but you are more willing to try interesting positions,” Rey laconically stated. Ben gasped and Kylo’s mouth dropped. Both men turned to look at her smirking face. 

“What? It’s what you were thinking.” Kylo settled back with a smug look on his face but Ben chuckled. 

“More interesting positions huh?,” he purred. Kylo sat up with a start, turning a curious face to Rey’s bland features. 

“I want to hear more about this plan and then bed,” she requested simply. 

“Bed with us?,” Ben asked hopefully. She shook her head. 

“By myself. You two figure out where you are sleeping on your own. I’m not sure at this point I care where you sleep.” 

“Well,” Ben began after a pause where he collected his thoughts. “We would divide our time with you. Kylo would be best with Dad, scouting the First Order and helping fill in our maps and information. I’m working on deciphering their alchemical texts--they are not written in Uthian, but some code. I could use your help. We split your duties between these two and that way we each get to time to, time to…”

“Time to woo you,” Kylo supplied helpfully. Rey tipped her head, considering. 

“And no fighting among one another?”

“I’ll keep my peace if he will,” Kylo shot. 

“And you determine the pace, Rey. We go as fast as you want,” Ben breathe, hardly believing she was accepting his half-crazed plan. He considered that sending Kylo to her was probably just like this half-cocked theory and pondered, briefly, the consequences of the plan. He weighed the possibility that Kylo could win Rey’s hand, his chest tightening painfully. He looked at her tired face, that little line he used to kiss away appearing between her brows. His heart ached and he clenched his fists tightly. 

“If you kiss Ben, though, I demand one,” Kylo interjected. “It’s not fair if you give him preferred treatment.”

“Same with me,” Ben added hastily. Rey raised one imperious brow. 

“A lot of conditions here, even assuming I’ll kiss either one of you. I might just dump you for the First Order.”

“The ladies and the men did love Hux,” Kylo added amiably and Ben shot him a cross look. Rey giggled. 

“I’ll think on it,” she finally said. Ben let himself relax for a moment. “But now, I need a bed.”

“I’ll clear my room,” Ben offered, finally moving away from the wall to head down the corridor to clean up the master bedroom. He had built a bed frame using the local bamboo and had stolen a mattress from the First Order requisition hall.

A lot of things in this house were stolen from the requisition hall. 

He cleared off the bed, shoved a lot of things to the side, before rummaging around in his closet to pull out a clean shirt for her. After a moment of warring within himself, he groaned and pulled out a set of clean clothes for Kylo. He cheered himself with the thought that this may win him points with Rey. 

He returned to the living room to see Rey half asleep in the chair, Kylo eyeing her thoughtfully. Ben gently shook her. 

“The room’s prepared. I left a clean shirt on the bed for you to sleep in,” he relayed. She yawned widely and sleepily let him guide her to the room. Before he exited, he made sure to hand Kylo his clothes so that Rey could see. 

After all, his mother did raise him to waste no opportunity. 

He led her into the room, showing the lights. She yawned again and waved him away. 

“Good night, Rey, my darling,” he whispered as he drew the door closed. He turned to bump into Kylo grinning down at him.

“You may have won this battle,” Kylo murmured. “But I’ll win the war.” Ben drew himself straighter, glaring into his own eyes. 

“We’ll see.” 

“Yes. Now, where I am sleeping?”

“The couch, of course. Where the pets belong,” Ben sneered as he walked down the hallway to his office and his slightly squashed couch. Kylo snorted.

“Hey--I need to know where the weapons are.”

“Why? So you can remove the competition while I sleep?”

“As if you are truly competition,” Kylo drawled. “No. In case the First Order attacks. I am your first defense.” Ben nodded at the wisdom and showed Kylo the closet of weapons. He left his brother taking inventory and shaking his head at the sad state of things. 

Ben shut his office door firmly before he sank gratefully onto the couch and allowed his eyes to close at last.

What a long day.

What a tiny thread of hope. 

A thread he planned to weave into something more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. The love from you guys is overwhelming me. Seriously. I love you all back. 
> 
> Tip of the hat to PoorQueequeg for helping me with this chapter and pushing my ideas forward. PQ has the glorious ideas; I am merely the vehicle for execution, sloppy as it may be. 
> 
> Soooooo.....do you think she'll go for it?  
> I hope Ben gets a crick in his neck.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

Rosalind had raven locks and emerald eyes. At least in the drawing Ben was lazily sketching in the margins of his textbook. Irritated, Luke slammed the book shut.

“You’re not paying attention.”

“Why do I need to know about energy transference? I’m a prince. No one will ever need to focus with me,” Ben argued, his brow drawn in annoyance. “Jeez, uncle Luke.”

“Just because you are going to rule this country doesn’t mean you won’t actually have to work,” Luke retorted, folding his arms across his chest. “You would think your parents would have taught you that.” Ben frowned. He had grown up with legends of his mother and father leading the rebellion to save Croytan from Emperor Palpatine. The people, naturally, rallied behind his mother to overthrow the pretender and bring peace back to Croytan.

He still wasn’t sure why his mother married an old pirate rather than, perhaps, the prince of Ocrana, thus ensuring peace for both countries. Leia would smile when he asked that question, her eyes growing misty, saying one day he would understand that he would need to choose how much he was willing to give his people. That some pieces of his life belonged just to him.

He refused to believe that. And at twenty-three, he found himself often flirting with the courtiers, the ladies and the countesses and the marquesses, a dalliance or two with a lady in waiting in a closet or behind a curtained alcove.

Sometimes he caught his dad staring at him with a sad look on his face.

He brushed it off.

“Being a leader means having some skills in every area,” Ben finally said to his uncle, “not specializing. It’s why I have you and the other alchemists at the university. Our people pay them to come to their aid when we Organas demand it.” Luke sighed and shook his head.

“You need to decide what kind of ruler you will be, Ben. One who rules from fear and exacting and contracts. Or one who rules with loyalty, fairness, kindness.”

“Kindness?,” Ben echoed in disbelief. “What does kindness buy you? Look at the old ruler of Uthos. Overthrown by Snoke. He was heralded as kind.”

“So kindness leads to rebellion? Is that your theory?”

“Kindness makes you weak. How can you protect people if you are coddling them?”

“If you are cruel, why would people want to serve you?”

“If you are kind, why would enemies fear you?,” the young man countered. Luke drew his hand across his face.

“Look at what kinds of decisions rulers must make, Ben. Look at Kylo and the decisions we had to make about him.”

“Kylo is a peasant. He’s living a better life serving us as is his family,” Ben snorted. Horror dawned across Luke’s fair features and Ben frowned. “What? What did I say?”

“You have no empathy, Ben. None at all. Your thinking centers around you not around others,” Luke replied softly. Ben stiffened. He recognized that voice. Disappointment. He was too used to it. Bitterly he turned his face away, stared out the window at the seaport below. Luke sighed.

“One day, you will be put in a situation where you can’t be the center. And I would love to be there to see how you handle it.” He closed the door quietly behind him. Ben shifted in his seat, unsettled. A subtle knock on the side door snapped him out of his thoughts and a chestnut haired lady in waiting opened the door. She looked around furtively before sneaking in.

“I saw your uncle leave,” she said in a hushed voice and let out a shriek when Ben pulled her on to his lap. He nibbled her ear, nuzzled her neck, letting her whimpers drive his uncle’s statements out of his mind.

* * *

* * *

 Ben’s lashes fluttered open and he groaned as a sharp burn ran down his spine. He had slept at an awkward angle, the stiff arm of the couch digging into the fold of his neck. He sat up and rubbed his back before he realized that the labored breathing from his dream still plagued him. He paused and cocked his ear, leaning toward the wall that separated him from his bedroom. He heard a soft gasp and rage flooded him.

He had no desire to hear his brother fucking his wife.

He leapt to his feet and flung open the door to see Kylo standing by his bedroom door, his muscles flexing as he clenched his fist, fury in his compressed lips.

They both stared at each other in astonishment.

They both grinned at the same time.

“She’s thinking about me,” Ben coolly said as he brushed his brother’s shoulder. They both tilted their heads toward the door, Ben’s smile widening as he heard the bed creak, another little cry. He had once requested Rey touch herself in front of him, watching her writhe beneath her own fingers. He knew she was thrusting up against her fingers, her eyes squeezed shut,  her back bowing off the bed. He had ordered her to keep her eyes on him while she came before he slid inside of her, kneeling in front of her and holding her up with one hand, watching himself plunge in and out of her, reveling in the blush spreading through her skin as she came again.

He shifted his weight and saw Kylo do the same. His twin smirked at him.

“I tied her up and fucked her against the ship mast on the way here.”

“I tied her up, blindfolded her, and took her in the ass,” Ben retorted. The other man’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and Ben knew that Kylo was regretting not exploring that particularly sensitive area of Rey’s bodies. He smirked and padded down to the kitchen to make caf. Kylo trailed behind him.

“We can’t fight like this in front of her,” his twin began while Ben grabbed the coffee grinder from the shelf. He poured the beans into the box and began to crank the grinder. Kylo cocked his head.

“Rey came up with a way to mechanize that.”

“She would,” Ben wistfully replied. “She is quite brilliant.”

“She’s quite a woman.” Kylo hunted through the cabinets and pulled down a bag of oats, some apples, and a cinnamon stick.

“Yes. She deserves to be queen,” Ben said shortly. He turned to face his twin, his features cross. “I hope you do not intend to pursue her. She is meant to be queen.”

“You told me you married her for her power. That you didn’t intend for her to rule.”

“Things change. She’s obviously changed. And from the sound of it, she aided mother in the resistance.” He lifted his brow at Kylo, obviously expecting a full report. Kylo scowled and stared down at the oats.

“Well?”

Kylo said nothing, stirring the oats into the boiling water.

“You must treat me as an equal if you think Rey will ever return to you. I mean too much to her,” the other man said quietly. Ben hissed and depressed the plunger on the coffee pot, pushing the grinds to the bottom. He chewed on his lip before tipping his head, weighed the consequences of the request.

“Agreed.”

“And you need to explain to me why you said what you said in Mortis.”

“I said a lot of things,” Ben said exactingly. “You will need to be more specific.” Kylo blew out his breath explosively and started chopping apples rapidly, the slap of the knife on the board loud in the small room.

“You know what I mean. About not loving her anymore.”

“So you thought that was permission to fuck her?” Kylo whirled around and pointed the knife at Ben. Ben raised one careful brow, willing himself to remain still. A monarch must never bow under pressure.

“Do not talk about her like that. If you want her respect, and I mean it, you need to remember she has the right to sleep with whomever she wants.”

“Especially if she believes I don’t love her, right? I’m sure that little wayward comment did so much to drive her to your bed,” Ben sneered.

“Why do you care? You were all but committed to the idea that you wouldn’t see her for years, perhaps forever, to do this stupid mission. You were willing to give her up and you told me so!”

“This mission is for the good of Croytan.” Ben’s voice was cool and steely, his eyes had a hard glint. Kylo snorted.

“So that’s what it will always be. Croytan or Rey.”

“Rey is queen of Croytan now that mother has declared herself dead. She is Croytan, do you understand? We embody the people.”

“That is the biggest pile of horseshit I’ve ever heard and I used to work with General Hux,” Kylo said drily. Ben peevishly turned away and made his cup of caf and and, half heartedly, shoved a mug toward Kylo. He could feel Kylo’s eyes steadily watching him, irritation rubbing against his skin like sandpaper.

“Look, I had a decision to make,” he said eventually through gritted teeth. “I thought it would be easier to make this one if she wasn’t in the equation.”  Kylo said nothing, scooping up the apples and stirring them into the pot. Ben leaned against the counter and closed his eyes.

“That’s why you slept with the Mandalorian isn’t it?” Ben couldn’t meet his brother’s eyes but nodded. “It didn’t work did it?” Ben carried over bowls and spoons to the table, set out cream and sugar. Finally, he answered, his voice raw.

“No. And it nearly killed me seeing her walk in with you, with that bruise on her neck.” He looked into his brother’s eyes, looked into a mirror he dreaded. Kylo’s set of his jaw was stern but his gaze was sympathetic. Ben dropped his eyes, mixed sugar into his mug. Kylo walked over, placed the steaming pot on the table and sat next to him.

“I will fight for her,” Kylo said softly.

“And I will too.”

“Then we are agreed. But fighting each other will do nothing but isolate one another and her especially.”

“Agreed. Now tell me about what happened prior to you arriving here.”

“Fine,” Kylo took a deep breath and briefly relayed the events in Adyta. Ben found himself asking questions throughout, Kylo answering truthfully, as far as Ben could determine.

They, unfortunately, had similar tells. They discovered this playing cards one day at Mortis. It was both a tool and a warning.

Han arrived as they were finished up, gazing cautiously around the room before entering and pouring himself a cup. He settled next to Ben, looking warily at the other man.

“So, where are we?,” he asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> family visiting so a short chapter to tide us all over! 
> 
> Good question, Han. I wonder the same thing too. I wonder what Rey was thinking about while taking care of her needs that morning. Oh wait, I know....
> 
> She thought again about having both men in bed, Ben worshiping her tits, Kylo between her legs. He loved her ass, loved to knead it, kiss it, squeeze it gently. He adored spending time licking her cunt, his hands spreading her apart as his tongue dove deep within her. A gasp escaped her lips as she thumbed aside her panties and touched her clit, swirling around it, a deep ache between her legs.  
> She ground against her palm, sweat beading on her brow as she worked her fingers against her hard nub, one sliding through her drenched folds to delve into herself, curling her fingers inside against her walls. She turned to bury her face in the pillow to muffle the cries. One hand squeezed her breast tightly as she imagined Ben in her mouth, his thick cock sliding in and out against her tongue, Kylo filling her with his length, rocking into her, her panting loud in her ears. Her vision went white and she clenched around her fingers as she burst, as she stuttered, her heart loud in her ears.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the plot.   
> Time to take down the First Order

Rey crept back into her room, bracing the door as she shut it, a small click the only sound. She let out the breath she had been holding and slid to the floor, hugging her knees to her body, resting her chin on one. She idly picked at the scab on her calf and mused over the conversation she had overheard.

She wished she could be surprised about Ben sleeping with another woman.

She wished she could be surprised that Kylo would fall into his soldier routine. The squaring of his shoulders, the monotone recitation of facts, the careful way he described their time on the flying ship. 

She wished she could regret her morning in bed, her fingers trailing down her body as she reveled in the idea of both men kissing, teasing, tasting her skin. They would, she knew. From Ben’s comment last night, she knew that he would slide into bed with her and Kylo, that he would take her however she would allow. 

It was a heady thought. A flattering one, she thought as she picked the scab free and blood trickled down her leg. A tantalizing one. She would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit the thought of Kylo thrusting into her from behind while she took Ben into her mouth didn’t drive her to one of the best orgasms she had in her life. 

Well, maybe, she grinned wryly. But there was no more time for excuses, no more dawdling. She needed to leave the room. She wasn’t sure how to act in front of them based on the overhead conversation. 

She got up and hunted through Ben’s closet until she found a shirt she could wear and slipped on her old leggings. His shirt had stains on it from old chemical workings, she thought, sniffing the odd orangey odor and rolling up the sleeves, pinning them above her elbows. 

Go with anger, she ordered herself, before exiting the room, slapping her bare feet hard on the wooden floor so they could hear her enter. Three men turned to look at her and she faked a yawn, a sleepy smile. 

“Hey,” she murmured, taking a seat next to Han who poured her what was left of the caf. “What’s going on?”

“Planning,” the older man replied grimly. 

“The First Order has begun to harvest the aether crystals,” Ben explained.

“Began? I thought they’ve been here for a while,” she said taking a cautious sip of the cold caf before sticking her tongue out. Kylo chuckled and got up to head back into the kitchen. 

“They’ve been here for six months digging. It takes a while to get to them. Lots of blasting.”

“Their first site got completely destroyed by a rock slide,” Han added. “Everything buried. Men, equipment, plans.”

“So they had to start from the beginning again,” Rey inferred. Ben nodded. 

“Snoke sent the Knights of Ren here to supervise. We followed along with them,” Ben said. “They think I’m Kylo Ren. That was part of the switch. This here is my secret lab but Kylo has a house overlooking the site.”

“I do?,” Kylo asked surprised. 

“Yes. Kind of spartan, though,” Ben teased. Kylo rolled his eyes and Ben grinned. 

“How do you work around the scar?,” Rey asked, tilting her head.

“Never take my mask off.”

“I rarely did either. Only Hux, Snoke, and a doctor know about the facial scar. And the doctor has been taken out of the equation,” Kylo added, bringing the pot of caf to the table. He also placed a warm bowl of oatmeal in front of Rey,her stomach grumbling loudly. Han chuckled.

“Some things never change, kid.” 

“My stomach or Kylo’s penchant for murdering people?”

“Both,” Han answered. 

“It’s what you’ve trained me to be. Why regret it now?” Kylo smiled wolfishly at the older man who hunched his shoulders. Rey shot a glare at Kylo who returned her gaze evenly. “I will not be cowed, Rey. I may love you. I may even lose you to Ben. But I will not change who I am.” 

“And what are you?,” she challenged.

“Good in fucking fight,” he snarled back. Ben lifted his mug in a salute.

“Amen. You are a killer and a spy and I would not change a thing about you.” 

“Of course not,” Kylo scoffed. “Just one more tool in your inventory.”

“Yes,” Ben said simply as he studied a sheet in front of him. He ticked off a few sentences before plowing on. “Dramatics aside, you, Kylo, will resume your role with the First Order. Spy on them, get the data--”

“I know the drill,” his twin growled, flexing his fists. Ben gazed at him dispassionately for a long moment before nodding. 

“I believe you do,” he murmured before turning to Han and Rey. “With Kylo inside, we should be able to grab the schematics for the equipment and shipping plans. Dad, you can use the Falcon to ram them and sink the ships.”

“Waste of aether gems,” Han casually remarked and Rey nodded. 

“And why rely on Kylo to get you the schematics? I could take a look around and would know how to disable the machinery,” she jumped in. Ben shook his head but Kylo nodded enthusiastically. He glowered at his brother. 

“What? She can handle herself. She shot a few soldiers while we were escaping.” Ben’s brow lifted and astonishment washed over his face.

“She shot?”

“I can use a pistol, a sword, a staff. I could easily pass as a First Order officer or a crew member,” Rey insisted. Han nodded his head a few times and Ben all but glared a hole in him. Rey blew out her air. “No, but honestly, Benjamin. What did you think you were going to do with me here?” All faces swiveled to the king and Rey was pleased to see his cheeks grow red. Seizing the moment, Rey pressed forward.

“I understand we are working things out. But the two of you just can’t tie me to a bed and try to resolve things that way.” Han cleared his throat and stood up.

“I’ll be outside,” he mumbled. Kylo waggled his brows at Rey.

“Oh, I don’t know. That’s a solution I could get behind.” 

“Why? Was that your--,” Ben cut off at Rey’s hand slapping on the table. He cleared his throat. “I had planned on you being with me to work on some equations I had. Plus I wanted to see your drawings on the flying ship you came by.”   
“You can’t have me assist you,” she shot back. “My workings have a distinct flavor. Snoke is looking for me.”

“And besides, Ben, that keeps her with you. Not at all in keeping with our agreement,” Kylo rumbled quietly, his arms folded across his chest. His brother chewed the bottom of his lip,his brow knitting together in concentration. 

“The answer is simple. I will go with Kylo. He can say he is training me with the Knights of Ren. That should get me access to the site without a problem.  When I’m not with him, I’m with you.”

“That gives me only nights with you,” Ben frowned. Rey shrugged.

“I’m here to stop Snoke. Whatever we are will take time. And, honestly, you aren’t a priority. Neither of you are.” She leveled her glare at each man, looking fully into each man’s face. Kylo swallowed hard and dipped his chin. Ben smiled, pleasure glimmering in his eyes. Rey could not hold his gaze for long, turning away after a moment. 

“As you wish, your highness,” Ben said with a little incline of his head. Rey sniffed and moved the oatmeal around in her bowl. 

“It sounds like we have a plan,” Kylo finally said, breaking the silence that had fallen. 

“Agreed. I have notes for you to review and would like to debrief you tomorrow so you that you are prepared to go on-site by the end of the week,” Ben concurred, shuffling some papers around. “Rey, I have some notes on the machinery from what we’ve seen for you to look over. I think you might solve some gaps we have in our understanding of their equipment.” Rey accepted his request by nodding once and Ben stood. “Then we are settled. I’ll get you what you need to prepare. Rey, if you’ll follow me?” 

Rey flicked her gaze over to Kylo who smiled thinly and stood, heading outside to talk with Han, she presumed. Ben stood stiffly by the hallway, his hands tight by his side.  _ I need to try, _ Rey told herself and offered a tiny smile. Ben turned abruptly and went into the bedroom. She found him rummaging through a chest. 

“I had hoped you would eventually join me here, Rey,” he said, his voice thick. “Just not on a war expedition. I had some clothes made for you for this heat. It’s cotton. Thick enough to be durable, thin enough for you to remain cool.” He set a bundle in brown paper and wrapped with string on the bed. “There’s also a dress in there because well, as I said, I had different dreams.” Rey stood by the bed, studying his twitching leg, his hand flexing by his side. She lowered her eyes, aware that she was making him anxious. 

“Thank you,” she replied softly. She walked over and laid a hand on his arm. “I would like to know what those hopes were.”

“But not today.” His lashes were wet, she noted.

“No, not today.” He leaned forward, placing his forehead against hers. 

“I’ve missed you so much, Rey.” 

“Then why? Why would you do this? Why would you,” she paused, swallowing the lump rising in her throat. “Why would you take another woman into bed?”

Ben smiled humorlessly. “Heard that did you?” 

“Don’t evade,” she chided gently, pulling away to look into his eyes. 

“I knew this mission could take years. I thought it would be easier if I forgot you.” 

“So you invited this woman into your bed?”

“Yes,” he answered with a wry shake of his head. “But it didn’t quite go so well. I couldn’t quite keep it up, if you follow me.” Rey chuckled. 

“I thought you always could.”

“Me too. But I guess there’s a time for everything.” He wrapped his hands around hers, gently squeezing them together, his warmth seeping into her. “I love you, Rey. I still have hopes and dreams for us. But I would understand if you don’t.” She said nothing, stepping back and taking her hands back, tucking them under her arms, avoiding his gaze. He pressed his lips together tightly and wiped his palms on his thighs. 

“Okay, well, then. I have some work to do here with Kylo. I guess I’ll see you later.” He closed the door quietly behind him, leaving Rey to stare at the bundle of clothes on the bed. 

 

The three of them settled quickly into their roles, preferring to lose themselves in their work than deal with the sidelong glances, the casual brushes against one another. Rey pulled a chair up in the far corner of the front room, unrolling the schematics Ben had drawn from the First Order site, her pencil tracing the lines, scratching notations on the side. 

Kylo poured over Ben’s journals and reports from the First Order, working with Ben to sketch out a map of the camp. Han was filling in with information about the First Order fleet stationed on the other side of the island. Kylo was creating a picture of a small but competent army overseeing slave labor on the island, led by three Knights of Ren--Ben as Kylo, Obfirma Ren, and Tenax Ren. Kylo had humphed upon hearing those names, furrowing his brow. 

Kylo and Ben had locked themselves into Ben’s study, night falling around the cottage. Rey gathered her dirty clothes and some soap before walking over to the hot springs to wash her things. Han had bid them goodbye earlier, stating he had to take the Falcon out since the new supply ship should arrive soon. 

She slid out of her new clothes, the cotton cool against her skin. She would let Ben know she was grateful for this kindness, she mused, as she slipped into the heated bubbling water, a sigh escaping her lips. She wondered how she would do so. Before she could kiss him, let her hand drop into his trousers and fondle him, his head resting on her shoulder as he groaned. She could feel her skin warm as she remembered their nights together, his tenderness and devotion to her. 

She placed the soap on a rock, her eyes downcast, her shoulders slumping with defeat. 

She had betrayed his trust by sleeping with Kylo. He had betrayed hers by thrusting her into this situation. 

She floated in the water quietly for a few minutes, letting the buzzing sounds of insects soothe her, the stars beginning to wink through the thick canopy above, her lamp giving off a small pool of light. 

Rey shook her head, realizing her anger was getting her nowhere. She quickly lathered up and scrubbed her clothes too, slapping them on a boulder and wringing water out. She dressed rapidly in her light linen shirt and cotton trousers, making sure to keep her pistol out in case any night time predators approached her. She dimmed the lamp and jogged back to the cottage, slowing down as Kylo approached her through the darkness. 

“Turn that light off!,” he hissed, motioning for her to drop down the ground. She quickly followed, dousing the lamp and cocking her pistol. Kylo crept forward, a machete in hand. She heard rustling in the forest and her knuckles went white as she tightened her grip on the gun. He laid a finger on his lips and moved silently, slithering between large fronds, his feet hardly making a noise. Rey stayed low to the ground, her arm sharking as she pointed the pistol into the darkness, her eyes straining, the only sound the pulsing of the insects. 

She heard a cry, a bang, and a quick gurgle. Rey jumped up and ran toward the sound, crashing through the bushes to see Kylo lying a man on the ground, blood gushing from the stranger’s  throat and coating Kylo’s hands. She stepped back, horrified, her feet sliding in the blood as she dashed back to the cottage. She tripped over the lamp, stumbling, crying out as she hit the dirt. Rey staggered to stand up and screamed as a hand grabbed her shoulder, yanking her up and slapping itself across her mouth. She struggled as strong arms pulled her to a chest. 

“Ssssh,” Ben whispered into her ear. She stilled and he let her go, removing his hand from her mouth last. He reached up to wipe away a tear and she knelt, picked up her stuff, her pistol lost in the foliage. She mimed to Ben what she was looking for and he walked around, his eyes low to the ground until he located it a few feet away. 

He waved for her to follow and she trailed him back to the cottage, surprised she couldn’t see it well in the darkness. He felt around against a dark wall for a moment before locating a door and slipping in, Rey behind him. 

“What happened?,” he demanded as she asked: “How is it that I can’t see this place?”

“Reflective imagery and a simple deflective working,” he replied. “Now, you?”

“I was washing my clothes,” she said, holding up the now dirty laundry, “and ran into Kylo. He…..he killed someone.” Ben raised a brow. 

“This is not the first time you’ve killed someone? Or seen him kill someone?”

“No, no,” she shook her head. “It was just how cold he was. It wasn’t for defense. We could have gotten away.” 

“It’s war, Rey. He has to be proactive. And I’m sure he thought it was the right thing to protect you.” She shrugged off his soothing arm and backed away, tears glimmering in her eyes. 

“Protect me? You left me to protect me! He’s killing to protect me! How can I be so important?!” Ben gazed at her sadly.

“You didn’t figure it out from my diaries did you?” 

“What? You mean the regeneration theory?”

“Do you understand how rare that is, Rey? Snoke would kill for that. Because if you can regenerate, you can act as a focus. He can basically hook you up and drain you like a, like a, I don’t know! A power source!”

“Battery,” Rey seethed. “You think of me as a battery.” 

“Whatever that is, sure! Snoke would use you as such.” He was pacing the room, his face drawn in fury. 

“And what would you have me be?!” 

“I would have you tied to my bed, underneath me night and day. I would have you riding me every morning. I would have you in the lab, using that incredible brain of yours,” Ben snapped, pushing his face close to hers. “But mostly I would have you as you. As  _ my _ wife.” She stood on her toes, her nose nearly touching his. 

She said coldly: “But you didn’t do those things. You experimented on me.”

“Once, Rey! Once! To see if my theory about you was correct!”

“Why didn’t you ask?!,” she asked desperately. 

“How did I know you weren’t a plant? How did I know you weren’t from Snoke himself?!?” 

“You slept with me, even if you thought I worked for Snoke”, she asked shocked. “How could you be so cruel?” Ben gazed at her impassively, his hands in his pockets. 

“I slept with you because I was attracted to you. I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world.” Rey said nothing, meeting his gaze, pride stopping her jaw from trembling. “But if you worked for Snoke, I would have no hesitation killing you. Or, rather, using you as my own battery.” His words hung in the air and Rey felt herself go brittle, ready to crumble at the first touch, the first word. 

There was a creaking noise and they turned to see Kylo step in, dried blood caking his hand. 

Rey cracked. 

She marched out of the room, focusing on keeping her face cold, before slamming the door shut and flinging herself onto the bed, finally allowing herself to sob.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mi madre is in town visiting so I've cranked this out over the past couple of days. I've read what I could between visiting so if any errors exist, they are totally me as I did not send this to beta. 
> 
> She leaves soon so I can go back to the smut. Cruel smut. Cuz it's weird to google "wall sex" when your mom is watching TV next to you. 
> 
> Also, the word battery was in use in the 19th century so since steampunk is 19thc-esque in aesthetic and in this world, it would not be too foreign of a concept to Rey but perhaps it would be to Ben.


	22. Chapter 22

Rey woke up dry eyed, sore, grit rubbing against her skin. She looked in the mirror and saw a drawn face, wide sad eyes, wan skin. She splashed cold water on her face and re-did her buns. She had no time for mourning. There was a war. She set her mouth into a hard line. 

She marched into the kitchen where she found Kylo reading Ben’s journal, his pen scratching against the paper. She sat down, poured herself a cup of caf, and waited. 

After a while, Kylo looked up, ran a critical eye over her. She braced herself for a cutting comment, found out to her surprise that she didn’t care what he said. 

She was too gone now. 

“We will leave in an hour to head to Kylo Ren’s home here,” he said finally. She gave a curt nod, ignored Ben when he came out, hair tousled from sleep, a hopeful gleam on his face. 

She had no use for him now. 

Rey followed Kylo out into the steamy jungle, sweat clinging to her skin as they hiked along a ridge to get to his home. She had not flinched when he had exited a room, clad in black, and placed a dark helmet over his face. He looked foreboding, the leather creaking as he moved about, his booted feet slapping the floor.  

He had ordered her into something similiar, grey trousers, a long sleeved grey blouse and a grey vest. She had tightened a belt around her waist, tied on a pistol to her thigh. Kylo offered her a brown cloak that fell down her back, a hood to cover her face. 

“You look like Rey. It’s a problem,” he pronounced. “However, as my apprentice, you will wear a mask. We will rectify that immediately.” She hated the hood, she thought, as she scrambled over a particularly sharp edged set of boulders. 

Spartan, Ben had remarked about Kylo’s house, and he had not been wrong. It was a squarish building, grey, with slitted windows at certain junctures. Kylo nodded, pleased, as he entered. There was very little furniture. There were many weapons hanging on the wall. Kylo immediately went to them, running appreciative fingers over the hardware. 

“First, we find you a helmet. Then I will introduce you to the Knights here before we go into the camp,” he proclaimed, his voice deepened by the mask. An appreciative shiver went down her spine and she tightened her grip on a staff Kylo handed her. 

She had no need of romance right now. 

She was upholding her end of the bargain. 

 

Rey continued her days in this way for almost two weeks. Kylo found her a slim grey mask that fit over her nose and mouth, leaving her eyes clear. He trained her hard in the morning with the two other Knights, pairing her with Obfirma Ren, a petite man with a hard slash. He sent her leaping into the air as he jabbed his sword toward her legs.

The Knights of Ren did not train with dulled blades. 

Consequently, Rey found herself sinking into Kylo’s large copper tub which he would fill with hot water for her. Her muscles groaned and ached and he would apply arnica to her bruises, bind her ribs tightly. Kylo offered her arms guards to protect her forearms but she refused. 

She would not let this man get the better of her. 

She blossomed under Kylo’s training. He had a firm hand, a strict voice, and an even stricter regimen. Up before the sun for a light breakfast and a run. Something he called calisthenics, which involved jumping in place, stretching out, bending. Then blade exercises, moving her arms through the figures until they became rote. He was stern, shouting at her when she missed an easy parry and he smacked her on her ass with the flat of his sword. He glared at her footwork, snapping that he could drive a wagon of six between them, that her toes were turned inward and that she lacked balance. 

She had toured the camp twice already, made notes of the progress and the machinery used. She quickly grasped at how the drill worked, the lever on the side, the oil engine that spewed black smoke into the air. Camp was brutally loud with the shouting of men, the banging of the equipment, the ground shaking beneath her feet as they used thermal detonators to blast into the side of the mountain. 

She had not yet returned to Ben’s cabin to work with him on alchemical equations. She needed space, she recognized. She believed he did too. There had been no summons for her in the daily missives Kylo received. 

Rey leaned against a tree, mask off for once, letting herself go, focusing on breathing deeply. Kylo had presented her with a formal uniform today--wide trousers, a tight blouse that cinched at the waist with a crimson wide belt. And a sword he called a katana. Told her as he presented it that it was suited for her rapid, choppy style far better than a broadsword. Then he beat her soundly with it until she staggered away, clothes clinging to her frame, sweat pasting her thin tunic to her skin, muscles screaming in agony. 

“Nice try,” he said laconically before he swept out of the training room. She had changed into the dress Ben has presented her with--a simple short sleeved gown that tightened under her breasts before flowing to her feet. It was pale pink with white tulips printed on the gossamer fabric. It was older, less fashionable than what she had worn in Alderaan, a plain gown that might have been found in merchant class homes. She adored it. She loved the feel of it swirling between her feet as she hiked the short distance to the top of the ridge by Kylo’s house. She wound a flower around a bun, reveling in her femininity for once. 

Looking east she could see down into the valley, the black smoke billowing into the sky. She turned away, faced the west, where the sun was beginning its descent, the crystal blue waters taunting her with their coolness. She knew Han was out there, stalking the First Order ships destined to come any day with new supplies and new troops. 

She perched on the round shoulder of a rock outcropping underneath the canopy and looked at the waves crashing to shore, letting her mind wander. She felt safe here with Kylo, amongst people who could not discern her features--only how swiftly her staff brought them to their knees. Here, she was just another cog in a wheel, another fighter under the fearsome Kylo Ren.

And fearsome he was. She watched him as he verbally ripped Tenax Ren into pieces before grabbing a bow and smacking him across the back. Her heart had leapt into her throat, her stomach plummeted. 

He was brutal.

He was cruel. 

He took care of each the Knights after training, sure to soothe their wounds, encourage them. It was difficult to gauge his true reaction behind his mask staring blankly back. But each Knight swore their fealty to him. Obfirma had stated one morning that his loyalty lay with Kylo, not with Snoke or Uthos. Kylo gave each man a place. Or, as Obfirma had smirked, each woman before drawling how she must like it in Kylo’s bed. Kylo loomed behind Obfirma, snatching the smaller man’s sword out of his hand and told him it was far better to be a woman on her back than a soldier who lost his weapon while bragging. 

Obfirma had been relentless with Rey since then. She had responded in kind, beating him back each morning with a kind of hazy confidence she barely understood. 

Rey looked down her hands, calluses slowly healing on her palms from gripping a sword tightly each day. They never really were the hands of a princess, she reflected and glanced up to see Kylo, maskless, strolling through the woods toward her. She smiled briefly.

“That’s a pretty dress,” he remarked as he stood next to her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in one.” 

“Hard to wear when you are fighting or fishing,” she replied. He chuckled and plucked a bright plum colored flower from a dangling branch. He threaded it through her hair before running his knuckles down her cheek. She rubbed her face against his warm hand, latching her gaze onto his. He bent down, placed a chaste kiss on her lips. 

“You’ve been avoiding Ben,” he murmured against her jaw. She looked away. He grasped her chin gently and pulled her face toward his, peering down at her with amused eyes. 

“What’s so funny?,” she huffed. 

“You. You act like what I do with Tenax or Obfirma is somehow different than what Ben does as king.”

“He lied to me!”

“So did I. To be fair, darling, neither of us were honest. And you slept with me to try to manipulate me.” Rey opened her mouth to protest and he lay one large finger across her lips. She closed it with a snap, darting forward to nip at his finger. He grinned at her, lifting his head to scan the horizon. She stilled beside him. After a moment, he returned his attention to her. 

“You need to give him a chance, Rey. You gave me plenty. Why not him?”

“He did not love me. He only thought about my uses. What about my life? My dreams?,” she retorted. 

“Why not ask him?”

“Why do you care?,” she demanded. “You told me that he didn’t want me anymore.” Kylo looked down at her patiently, his gaze going distant. She felt as if he had slipped away from her in that moment and when he answered, his voice was low and chaotic. 

“You don’t understand war, Rey. You’re getting there. We all become something that we fear. Ben feared losing you. So he thought if he pushed you away, he could protect himself from that.” 

“And unfortunately, he has become what I feared the most,” she riposted. “A terrible husband.” Kylo gave her a pitying look, his lips tightening together. 

“I think you criticize him too hard,” was his soft reply. Rey snorted and folded her arms across her chest. Anger coursed through her, sure and strong, her hands shaking with her fury. How dare her come and tell her how to feel about Ben? The gall, she fumed, her nostrils flaring. 

“I don’t think you should be so hard on him, that’s all,” Kylo finally said before moving away. 

“You have no right to tell me how to live my life!,” she shouted at his retreating back. He stopped and she glared at his back. He stomped back to her, his mouth grim.

“You’re right; I don’t,” he said shortly. “You have a husband for that.”

“What if I choose not to recognize him?,” she tossed her head imperiously. 

“I don’t like this version of you, Rey. I’m training you as a Knight of Ren to act as a spy, not to actually see you become one,” he answered evenly. She gaped at him as he turned on his heel and stalked into the thick foliage. She glared at his back as he slipped back into the dense forest, melting into the dusk with ease, without a sound. She found it massively unfair that he could prod her, poke at her serenity and then flee the scene. She found it ridiculous that she was angry at him when Ben truly had raised her wrath. 

Rey stared down the ridge. Ben’s cottage was only a few miles away--less than an hour. Head held high, she began her trek down the mountain into Ben’s valley. As she slid between the trees, leaves brushing against her skin, she considered Kylo’s words. Her heart began to slow as guilt crept around her. 

She was used to Kylo’s cruelty, she admitted to herself. She understood violence. She understood taking things from people to teach them a lesson. It was too close to her comfort zone. Too close to life in Jakku. Ben’s form of politics, of playing chess with people, unsettled her. She could not grasp it; but even as she ruminated on Ben’s different way of thinking, she realized that it wasn’t as incomprehensible as she supposed. In the darkest recesses of her mind, she could admit that she had looked at people in Jakku as tools. Not people. But a means to an end. 

She was considerably cooler in temperament when she arrived at the cottage, her feet caked with mud. She paused outside the door, pushed back her sweat soaked hair when the cottage door opened and Ben halted, his eyes widening in surprise. 

“Rey,” he stammered, visibly swallowing. “What are you doing here?” She took some gratitude in his startled look. She knew she was being petty and she collected her guilt, shoved it to the forefront, hoped it was apparent on her features. Something must have shown because his mouth dropped open and he extended a hand. 

“Come inside where it is cool.”

“My feet are dirty,” she said surprised at her own shyness. In response Ben stepped outside and bent slightly at the waist, placing one hand behind her knee and scooped her up. She let out a small yelp as he carried her across the threshold and sat her gently on the kitchen table. She watched him fill a small bowl and take a chair in front of her. 

Rey held her breath as Ben began to wash her feet, rubbing off the dirt with a rough cloth, his hands gentle. Digging mud out between her toes, consciously wiping every inch. He never looked at her as he cleaned her up, steadfastly focusing on her feet. She was surprised to discover that her heart was racing as he ran the cloth up her leg, the tips of his fingers grazing her skin. 

“This is a beautiful dress,” she said abruptly, fingering the gauzy material. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” he replied simply before standing. She was disconcerted that he would not look at her and reached up to take his chin in hand, pulling his face toward her. 

“Yes?,” he asked in a dry tone. 

“Kiss me,” she commanded. For the second time, she was pleased to see him surprised. He licked his lips, looked uncertain. 

“Please,” she added. He nodded once and cupped her face between his palms. She closed her eyes, leaned into him, her lashes fluttering against her cheek as his breath ghosted across her skin, warm and minty. His kiss was gentle, almost light, and she groaned in frustration, wrapping her arms around his neck and opening her mouth. He let out a small moan but pulled her to him, his hands hot on her back as he deepened the kiss, the tip of her tongue darting in to taste her. 

She had forgotten this. 

She forgot his tenderness, his light touch, his heat. 

She forgot how a man could be reluctant, could hold back. She had become too used to Kylo’s urgency, his rapid thrusts, his devouring mouth. 

She forgot that she could be cherished in just a simple kiss. 

Rey gasped as Ben picked her up again, his mouth swooping in to pepper her face with kisses. He laid her gently on couch, his large frame covering hers. She wrapped one leg around him,sliding her toes down his pants, frustrated by the cloth between them.

“No, Rey,” he murmured as he nibbled at her collarbone. “If we do this, I’m taking my time.” 

“I don’t know how far…” she whispered and he propped himself up to look down at her.

“Tell me when to stop,” he commanded and she nodded before giggling, covering her hands with her face. Ben raised a confused brow. 

“What?” 

“I came here to apologize for being a real prat,” she confessed. “I didn’t expect to make love with you tonight.”

“We don’t have to,” he answered, before dipping down to claim her lips again. “We can stop wherever you want. We can even stop now.”

Rey knew a lie when she heard it. There would be no stopping. She was warm, knew her cheeks were stained crimson, her hips rocking slowly up to meet his. She could feel his hard length pressed against her belly and she craved it. 

She was shocked at her need to press her body to his, to have him lose himself inside of her. 

“Yes,” she gasped as he plucked a nipple between his teeth, the cloth raw on her aching flesh. She reached down to yank at his pants and Ben caught her hand, pulled it over her head. 

“Patience,” he remonstrated. “It’s been almost two years, Rey. I’m taking my time.” He returned to her breasts, finding her nipples beneath the silky fabric, sucking on them, her breath growing ragged as heat spread up through her thighs. 

“Please,” she cried and Ben rocked back to his knees. She sat up and he slowly worked her dress off of her. He let out a small cry when he saw all the bruises on her body, her knees, her ribs, her shoulders. He shook his head.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmured. “What have they done to you?” She blushed, covered herself with her hands, suddenly unsure in front of his scrutiny. 

“Fight training.” He sighed and she could feel the moment slipping from them. Her heart trembled as he stood up and padded to the kitchen. Rey sat up, pushing back the tears threatening to rise. She had risked everything; and here he was tossing it aside because she was too unladylike. 

He returned a moment later with a box and he sat across from her on the coffee table. 

“Let me treat those,” he soothed and opened the box. She swallowed hard. She had not expected this and once again, berated herself for always thinking the worst of him. He took out a few blue bottles and poured lotion into his hands, rubbing them together to warm the salve before smoothing it over her skin. She liked the smell of it--woody, pungent, the smell lingering on her tongue, thick and heady. 

Ben’s large hands dwarfed her smaller frame as he spread the ointment over her back, down her legs. She twisted to allow better access to her shoulders and almost wished as she braced herself on the back of the couch that he would plunge inside of her here. She wanted him and she wasn’t embarrassed by it, she realized. 

And she knew without a doubt that he would make things work with her and Kylo. Once again she wondered what it would be like to be pressed between both men. 

“Dinner should be ready soon,” Ben rumbled from behind her. “I hope you will join me.” She turned to wink at him over her shoulder and he chuckled. “If you still want, I have a comfortable bed and we can explore each other later.”

“How much later?,” she pouted and Ben let out a laugh. Rey smiled widely. She had forgotten his laugh--his true one, not the one he used in court--boisterous and loud. 

“I won’t make love to you tonight, Rey,” he answered once he calmed down, packing away his lotions. “You are too injured. Some of these went deep. I can see Kylo tried some arnica but you need to rest.”

“I want to make you feel good, too,” she implored. He offered her a quick smile, never showing his teeth. 

“We have time for that, Rey, I promise,” he said huskily before kissing her softly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Family is gone so updates should be more frequent! (although maybe not every day because this story was never meant to be so large and I find it a bit unwieldy). Many thanks to PoorQueequeg and Shwtlee for helping me work through this. 
> 
> I am on Tumblr. HausCrashBurn if you want to see Reylo reblogs and lots of nature pics. 
> 
> Thank you for all of your comments and kudos!
> 
> Shwtlee was kind enough to do a drawing from a future (???? perhaps) interaction between the three: http://shwtlee3.tumblr.com/post/149803851422/monsters-breylo-too-similar-rey-remarked


	23. Chapter 23

Rey shimmied back into the dress as Ben puttered around the kitchen, moving steaming plates and bowls to to the table. She found her limbs much looser thanks to the salve and flushed at the memory of his hands gliding over her skin. 

She stood patiently by a chair as he twisted a cork out of a bottle and poured ruby colored wine into a glass. She smiled inwardly, watching him swirl the wine in the glass, taking a small sip with an intake of air,swishing the liquid between his teeth. He bent over a sink to spit out and she raised a brow. 

“Does it meet your approval?,” she queried in her best courtly voice. Ben chuckled and shrugged gracefully, as only a courtier can. 

“It’s swill but it’s the best we got,” he grinned and poured out two generous portions. “The faster you drink, the better it’ll taste, I think.” He pulled out her seat and held it for her. Rey smiled and lifted her skirts to ease into the chair. Ben let her situate herself, remembering how much she loathed being pushed under the table. Her knees always banged something and on one dreadful occasion, an overly eager duke had ripped her dress under the chair legs. 

“This looks absolutely delightful,” she complimented as she surveyed the plates in front of her. Large cuts of red meat, green vegetables mixed with potatoes and peppers, and a loaf of crusty bread. 

“Dad sunk a supply ship a few leagues from here. We reap the benefits,” he toasted. She touched her glass to his, wondered if it were morbid to celebrate her bounty over someone’s death. She shrugged and watched Ben place a large chunk of everything on her bread. She immediately began to cut her steak and he smiled. 

“What?”

“You. You always go for the meat first.”

“Am I not supposed to?” Ben shook his head and began to daintily slice into his baby potatoes and chew on them. Rey sighed and Ben roared with laughter.

“This is why I tried to avoid court dinners with you!” he managed to gasp out. Rey snorted.

“What? Embarrassed by your desert bride?” His shoulders shook as he wiped at his eyes, grinning as he teased her.  

“No. More like I couldn’t wait to get to dessert.” To her disconcertation, she blushed and looked back down at her plate. He laid his palm on her arm, one thumb running up the inside of her forearm. 

“I do love you, Rey,” his voice low and serious. 

“Then why did you leave me?” She couldn’t stop her voice from cracking. He sighed. 

“I’ve told you. I don’t like the decision, I still don’t.”

“You tried to sleep with another woman,” she sniffed and felt him stiffen beside her. 

“Yes I did. And I’m sorry.” He cast her a sorrowful look, pushing his vegetables around his plate. She wiped her nose and took a large swallow of the wine, sticking her tongue out in dismay. Ben smirked.

“Gross isn’t it?”

“Absolutely awful,” she agreed before taking another swallow. 

“Is Kylo feeding you well up there?” 

She rolled her shoulders. “It’s pretty simple food, First Order standard.” 

“It seems like he’s working you hard. Those are quite impressive bruises.” 

“I’m getting better,” she replied, taking a large bite of steak. “I’ve gotten plenty of data on the machinery. A few well placed aether bombs would destroy the whole lot of equipment.” Ben frowned.

“Yes but that would delay them. I want them to stop coming here.” She paused and cocked her head.

“You mean, you want to drive them away from here permanently.”

“I want them gone and I want the aether gems in Croytan’s hands. Especially for mother as she is rebuilding our military.”

“It might make our offer to Ocrana more attractive,” Rey said thoughtfully and Ben nodded once.

“Precisely. Rather than a group of rebels, we can pay. And the king could fund his country for years with just a handful of these.” He ran an appreciative gaze over her as she focused on clearing her plate. “You’ve grown up, Rey.” She frowned. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well, grown up is not it, exactly. You’ve got quite a devious mind in there.” She huffed slightly and glared playfully. 

“Do I? Well, your highness, if you had spent more time talking with me and less time bedding me, you’d know exactly what I am capable of.” She was snappish but playful, surprised when Ben leaned forward suddenly and captured her hands in his.

“Yes, that is quite true. But, my beloved, I would not give up those hours together for all the jewels in the world.” Rey swallowed hard, caught in his unwavering gaze. 

“But you did,” she whispered. “For Croytan.” 

“It was only meant to be temporary. Kylo was supposed to be your bodyguard. You were supposed to know,” he answered solemnly. “I made mistakes, Rey. I understand that. All I can do is ask you for your forgiveness. And hope that maybe, just maybe…” He trailed off, pressing his lips to her knuckles.

She hadn’t seen such unflinching devotion from him since their wedding night, she realized. And spoke the thought aloud. Ben blushed. 

“I wanted to make that night special.”

“It wasn’t exactly as if I were a virgin,” she teased, biting her lip as his thumb drew circles on the inside of her wrist. 

“No, I made sure of that,” he winked. “But wedding nights are supposed to mean something and I wanted ours to have meaning. Do you remember how the sun looked coming through the curtains the following morning?”

“I remember you holding me tight,” she answered truthfully if in a shaky voice. “I remember you bringing caf to the bed.”

“Feeding you fruit and yogurt in the morning,” he added. “You were ravenous.”

“How is that different from usual?,” she teased with a twinkle in her eye. He smiled slowly, deliciously, the warmth from his hands spreading through her body. 

“You don’t normally eat food off people’s bodies,” he languorously replied. “Or at least, I hope not.” She blushed and looked away. “Most vividly, I can recall your face the morning you thought you might be carrying our child.” Rey inhaled shakily and drew back her hand. 

“I guess that can’t ever happen,” she whispered, mourning a life she might not know. She had only recently recognized the disappointment she born over not being able to be a mother. Her memories of her own were dim, faded, only a whiff of a lavender, a low voice crooning nonsensical words to her. But she had thought, she had believed, that she could be capable of it. She had love to give, understood kindness, thought she could find an ally with Leia. 

So many dreams dashed in such a short time. 

Ben was hunched over, his arms wrapped around him. 

“It’s possible, if you want to be a mother. We could find a spell--”

“No,” she cut him off brutally. “I don’t want to create another dilemma like we have with Kylo.”  The silence threatened to engulf them and Ben lurched out of his chair, planting his arms on the table and looming over her. 

“We could adopt. You would be an excellent mother, Rey, I know it. And as you said, there are plenty of children out there starving and abandoned. We could make a home for one of them? Two of them?” 

“But rules of succession…” she responded, dazed. Ben waved a hand regally.

“I’m king. What use is this crown if I cannot make you happy? If I cannot re-write a few laws?” Rey gaped at him in astonishment. 

“That’s very close to what your grandfather said is it not?,” she whispered. “And you always said your greatest fear was becoming him.” Ben shrugged.

“Bringing people back to life and giving parentless children a home are two different things. It’s a difference of kind, not degrees here, Rey. And if it makes you happy….”He gazed down at her, his mouth a determined line. Her heart fluttered and she recognized a growing sense of hope. 

The rest of dinner was quiet until their plates were empty and Rey was sopping up juices with a crust of bread. Ben rose abruptly and returned a moment later, hauling in a gramophone. Rey watched him, frowning as he returned with a box.

“Dad was so mad that I made room for this on the Falcon,” he said, fiddling with a record. “But like  I said, I had hopes.” He straightened and held out a hand as a dreamy melody emerged from the machine. Crackly, soft, a violin stirring awake a symphony. 

A waltz. 

Rey took his hand, allowed him to pull her from the chair and place a hand on her waist, fingers spread across her small back. She remembered the lessons, Connix snapping at her as she missed the beat, stubbed toes. 

“It’s better if I lead,” she hoarsely said. Ben nodded, adjusted his grip, and took a step back. She began to twirl him around the room, trodding on his toes occasionally as he would try to lead. They were unsure of her steps, she thought, giggling, as she nearly tripped over the hem of her skirt. Ben laughed and caught her, arms tightening around her as the cheery beat filled the room.

“You’re magnificent, Rey,” he declared before capturing her lips with his, their movements slowing until they were swaying, his hands roaming down her body, his mouth tasting hers, her soft sighs swallowed by his groans, rubbing his body on hers. She arched against him, ran her tongue along the seam of his lips, savored the salty tangy flavor of him, a hint of the horrific wine along his plump bottom lips as she tugged it between her teeth. 

His hands nested in her hair, pulling out her pins and buns until it cascaded past her shoulders, running his fingers through them. The wail of the music got louder as did her moans. 

And then the room exploded. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter courtesy of King Beyonce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiLCM45akBw 
> 
> A short one. Going in a different direction.
> 
> For those who read Wait and Hope, my Monte Cristo AU, the gramophone scene was something I wanted to do. A way for Kylo/Ben to reconnect with his wife. Unfortunately, the gramophone was no invented until the 1880s and that story took place between 1835-1845. Steampunk? I can play around a bit more :) Of course in that one, Rey knows how to follow, haha, being a proper Victorian woman.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graphic depictions of violence.

 

Ben shoved her to the floor, covering her body with his as glass rained down on them. She pushed him off and rocked to her feet, ducking as fire billowed overhead. She dashed to the table, glass digging into her feet, and dumped water onto a cloth, wrapping it around her nose and mouth before doing the same for Ben. She knelt and walked quickly to him, shoving it over his face as he was wracked with coughs. Through the smoke, she heard orders and knew it was the First Order. 

They had been found out. 

Soldiers rushed into the home and Rey scuttled back, reaching for a weapon, any weapon. A soldier ran up to her, reaching for her, and she kicked back, hitting him in his knee. He stumbled and she grabbed his wrist, tucked herself under him and threw him over her shoulder. He landed with a groan and without thinking, she ripped his blade off of him, jabbed it into his throat. He died with a gurgle and grunting, she yanked the blade out. 

Rey cried as a sword slid by her, slicing through her dress and nicking her side. She twisted away and slammed her blade down, metal screeching as she thrust forward. He moved back, rocking onto his rear leg and she spied an opening, flicking the tip to drive his blade away and lunged forward to ram her sword between his ribs. She heard him yelp as she placed a foot on his chest and shoved him back. 

The smoke was thick in her lungs, her eyes watering, and Rey turned to see Ben rush out of the cottage, a pistol in hand. Groaning, she ran a quick hand over the dead soldier’s body, pulling out a dagger and a black rod rod. With a snap of her wrist, the telescoping baton extended, a good three and half feet. Rey grinned and sprinted through the smoke, wincing as the glass bit into her bare feet. 

She was grabbed roughly around the waist and tossed to the ground. Rey snarled and rose to one knee,  lashing out with the baton. She connected with his belly and his air exited with rush. She stood and smacked the baton across his face. He toppled to the ground. She followed with a plunging dagger to his heart. 

Kylo Ren had taught her well. 

“Kids!” A voice bellowed through the fray. Rey looked up to see Han charging down the hill, firing his pistol at soldiers as he ran toward them. Ben hollered and shot a storm trooper behind Han. 

“Well, if it isn’t Kylo’s little fuck toy,” purred a voice to her left. Rey snarled and pitched herself at Obfirma Ren. He wrenched her shoulder down and she let out a strangled scream as he slammed her into a tree. He pressed his body to hers. 

“You can’t fight but can you fuck?,” he hissed, cramming himself against hers, jamming his hips into her ass, squeezing her arms hard. Rey growled and threw her head back, hitting him in the nose. She gasped, seeing stars but managed to cuff him with her baton in the groin. He howled and fell to his knees. He waved his staff near her and she jumped back to avoid it hitting her knees.

“No good, slut,” he slurred before his face blossomed with red. She blinked and saw smoke floating out of a hole in his head before he slumped over.

“Rey!,” Ben shouted, grabbing her arm. She punched him and he stumbled back. “Rey! It’s Ben!” She gasped and fell against the tree, nodding dumbly, the adrenaline leaving her body. 

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?,” he demanded, his eyes wild, spittle flying from his mouth.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, just some cuts and bruises,” she stammered, her ears ringing. 

“Hey kids, it’s nice to catch up, but we gotta hustle. They ain’t the only ones heading this way,” Han called as he stepped over bodies strewn all over the jungle floor. 

“Where to?,” Ben asked, raking his hands over bodies and freeing them of their holsters. 

“South,” Han jerked his chin and began to march past them. Rey bent down and collected her weapons. 

“Dad watch out!,” Ben screamed as a soldier stepped out of the brush. Rey’s mouth dropped open and she watched Ben fumble with his gun. Han turned, his brows raising in surprise as blood bloomed across his chest. 

“No!,” Rey screamed, stumbling across the clearing to Han. Ben was shooting at the soldier who was weaving through the woods. Rey heard a wordless cry and a crack and did not look up. She heard Ben call “Kylo!” but could not think through the tears streaming down her face. She cradled Han’s head in her lap.

“Oh, Han,” she sobbed as he smiled hazily at her. 

“Rey,” he murmured roughly. “I was so pleased when Ben married you, do you know that? We need sensible people in our family. Now don’t cry, sweetheart.” He tried to raise an arm to touch her cheek but grunted, his fingers digging into the dirt. 

“Don’t move! Don’t move! You’ll be ok,” she sobbed as Kylo knelt beside her. 

“Han,” he said crisply as he pulled back Han’s vest, cut through his shirt. She whimpered as blood trickled from a wound in his belly. She looked up and Kylo gave a sad shake of his head. Rey wiped at her eyes and tried to smile at Han’s pale face.

“No good. Belly shot,” he sighed. “Kylo, you got any of the brandy?”

“Yes, sir.” He extracted a small flask from amongst his folds and tipped some into Han’s mouth. He sighed and smiled thinly and Rey felt him tremor before going limp. 

“No, no,” she cried out, pressing a bloodied hand to her mouth, sobs wracking her body.  She heard a keening sound behind her and Kylo pulled her away. 

“We need to move, Rey.”

“We can’t just leave him here!,” she shouted, twisting out of Kylo’s arms. She turned to entreat Ben but froze. He was hunched over, palm pressed to his lips, his face white. Kylo’s gaze flickered between them both. 

“Take what you need to, then move out.”

“How can you be so heartless?! You monster!” 

Kylo paused and addressed her over his shoulder in a cool voice. “We need to move  _ now _ .” 

“How did you get here so quickly?,” Ben asked suddenly. He couldn’t hide the accusation in his voice. 

“I knew Obfirma had issues with Rey and had him followed by one of your scouting birds. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get here fast enough.”

“It takes a bit of time to get down here,” Rey retorted. Kylo dipped his head.

“Yes, but you forgot the tunnels.”

“What tunnels?,” Ben asked bewildered. 

“Let me show you. Rey, one of us needs to carry you until we get you into them. You’ll leave a blood splatter with your cut up feet.” Kylo trotted toward her with a stony face and scooped her up quickly before she could protest. “Follow me, Ben.” He stepped over Han’s body and Rey pressed her face into Kylo’s shoulder, no longer feeling the sharp leaves skating over her skin, grazing her face. 

He huffed as he carried her down a hill and placed her on her feet near an outcropping of boulders. He slid sideways between them, clasping his hand around hers as he pulled her through. She paused, tugged on his hand and reached out for Ben, his gaze distant and lost. She touched him tentatively and he jerked back. 

“Ben,” she entreated. He scooted next to her and she twined her fingers through his. 

The three held hands as the cool air rushed over them. Rey heard Kylo fumbling in the dark and blinked as a light flashed on. He had brought an oil lamp and he cursed softly as he bumped his head against the cavern ceiling. 

“Careful, Ben,” he called as he ducked down and began to creep down the damp corridors.

“Are you sure these are safe?,” Rey asked as her back scraped along the rough stone. He shrugged nonchalantly and continued down the twists, water dripping on them, the gloomy light revealing jagged spikes from the ceiling, thrusting up from the ground, the air damp and moldy. Ben gripped her hand tightly and she kept a good handle on Kylo who never once looked back. They began to climb upward and Rey sighed in relief as the air grew fresh and a beam of light glimmered through a crack. 

She had to let go of the hands in order to clamber up over boulders, rocks skittering down as they slid over them. She followed Kylo into the sun and blinked rapidly, her eyes adjusting to the evening light. They were at a beach. She held a hand in front of her and looked down to see the Falcon bobbing in the water, waves lapping at the shore. Tide was going out. 

“This is how Han made it so quickly,” she breathed. 

“Yes. I followed him one night to ensure he was safe.” 

“Of course you would,” Ben bitterly said. “You trust no one.”

“And neither should you,” Kylo curtly replied. Rey laid her palms on Kylo’s chest, giving him a stern look. 

“No fighting, I mean it,” she ordered in a low voice. He rolled his eyes and surveyed the beach instead. The three of them stood in the shadows, neither moving, until Ben sank on the ground and began to cry. Kylo huffed impatiently. 

“No time for tears. We need to make a decision,” he snapped. 

“Like what?” Rey pushed back. 

“The First Order knows we are here. Or least someone from Croytan is here. Do we sneak in and bomb the place or escape?” Rey worried her bottom lip between her teeth, her arms around Ben. 

“Do you think Obfirma told anyone?,” she finally asked. Kylo shrugged again and spread his hands.

“It’s difficult to say. I’m inclined to say no because he would prefer his revenge to be private.”

“Not that private,” Rey muttered, shuddering. Kylo’s eyes narrowed.

“What did he do to you?,” he barked.  She refused to meet his gaze, staring down at her toes, burying them into the sand. 

“He was going to rape her,” Ben said hoarsely, finally looking up, his eyes red, his cheeks puffy.  Kylo tensed up, clenching his fist. 

“And?” he asked tightly. Rey looked away, the wind pushing her hair on to her face, sticking to her tear stained features. She shoved the strands back and felt Ben’s hand on her thigh. He offered her his leather hair tie and she took it gratefully, pulling her hair into a single bun. 

“I shot him,” Ben replied simply.

“Not good enough,” Kylo growled. “He should be strung up and tortured.” Rey gasped and twisted to face him. 

“Kylo!,” she reprimanded. “It’s over. It’s done. Time to move on.”

“Rape is never over and done,” Kylo snarled back. “A clean death was too good for him.” They glared at one another, Rey aghast at his need for vengeance. Ben laid his hand on her back.

“He’s upset because he wasn’t there to protect you, that he couldn’t predict Obfirma’s behavior,” the king said softly. “Don’t be angry with him. He saved our lives.” Rey scrunched her face up angrily and stood up to flounce away, crossing her arms over her chest, her mind racing. She stalked down the beach, muttering under her breath until her anger cooled, simmering at a lower level.

Anger was her constant companion these days, she thought ruefully and leaned against a tree. She looked back where she came to see Kylo and Ben sitting next to one another on a fallen tree, Kylo gesticulating wildly and Ben thrusting his finger in his face. They were obviously planning something.

She couldn’t quite care. She glanced down at her gown, the pink fabric streaked with soot and mud, a pool of blood on her knees where she held Han as he….as he….... Her breath hitched and she turned into the tree, letting grief wash through her. 

She was sitting some time later on the sand, ankle hooked behind her knee as she pulled out the glass embedded in her foot, sniffling as pain lanced through her. The sun was almost below the horizon and the light fading fast. She squinted, grunting as she pulled out a large piece, blood spurting out over her foot to trickle down on to her dress. 

She sighed. And glanced up as Ben loomed over her. He was solemn, watching her flatly. 

“We will be leaving soon to the encampment,” he stated stiffly. “Do you need help?” She evaluated him with cool eyes, wondered how he was truly holding up.

“No,” she eventually answered. 

“We need to get moving,” Kylo said as he strolled over to the pair. He offered her a hand and she grasped it, staggering to her feet. 

“You alright?,” Kylo asked, nodding to her toes. 

“I’ll be fine,” she said shortly before pointing over the sea. “What are those lights? I didn’t think Uthos would be sending more troops.”

“They’re not supposed to,” Kylo said grimly. “Come on.” He gestured for them to follow and trekked back into the jungle. She watched as he examined several trees before selecting one, tugging on the vine to test it. 

“Use this to climb up,” he ordered before clambering up the trunk, finding handholds and using his knees. Rey grasped the vine and began to ascend, using her feet to help her walk up quickly. She heard the vine creak and felt Ben’s weight behind her. 

She grabbed onto a branch and swung over to seat herself against the trunk. Ben sat on a branch nearby, Kylo perched above them. He pulled out a pair of binoculars, watching the lights with a set mouth.

“They’re ships,” he said carefully. “But I can’t make out the sign.” 

“What do we do?,” Rey asked. 

“We sit. And we wait. We are in a disadvantageous position with the cottage destroyed and the possibility of Obfirma Ren informing the First Order where we are. We will wait to make our move until full dark.” He nodded once, almost as if to himself, and tucked the binoculars into his coat. Ben shifted, the leaves rustling, and they sat in silence as twilight fell and the lights neared closer to shore. 

Rey found herself drifting off to sleep, only to jerk awake suddenly as she swayed on her branch. Ben’s arm shot out to steady her and she smiled thinly in the dark. 

“They’re here,” Kylo hissed. “I’m going for a closer look.”

“I’ll join you,” Ben added.

“Your Majesty---”

“It was not a suggestion,” Ben said stiffly and began to work his way down. Kylo snorted and followed, Rey clutching the branch in the dark. She watched as they slithered through the woods soundlessly and she scanned the shore as the ship’s lights went dark. She looked furtively into the dimness, a small sliver of moon offering little light to make out the vague figures moving across the beach. She bit her lip, swinging her lips to offset the rising nervousness. 

She saw a dark form move across the beach. She thought it was Ben, his pale shirt more visible in the weak light. She watched him embrace someone, her brows raised. Rey quickly shimmied down the tree, holding on to the vine tightly as she leapt down the branches until she hit the ground and jogged toward the beach. An arm darted out and grabbed her tightly, one hand squarely across her mouth. 

“Ssssh,” Kylo hissed into her ear. “It looks like the Resistance.” Rey shoved his hand from her mouth.

“How can you tell?”

“Ben’s out there talking and I’m fairly sure that’s Leia.”

“Leia?!” Rey squeaked, wiggling out of Kylo’s grasp and running down the beach. She fairly streamed into Leia’s arms, holding onto the older woman tightly. 

“Oh, Leia,” she sobbed. The princess pressed her cheek to Rey’s, crooning softly. 

“Hush, now, sweetheart. We’re here.”

“Did Ben tell you?,” Rey asked plaintively. Leia arched a brow. 

“Did my son tell me what?”

“Han. He’s dead.”

“He died saving my life, mother. He allowed us to escape,” Ben supplied mournfully. Leia blinked once, twice, her hand slipping off Rey’s shoulder. 

“Oh,” she said. Rey placed an arm gingerly around Leia who shifted away from her. 

“Mother?,” Ben asked carefully. 

“I’ve so much work to do,” Leia muttered and staggered away, her palm to her forehead, her eyes drawn tight in pain. Rey exchanged a puzzled look with Ben who frowned. 

“It’s just her way,” he snapped and strode after her. Rey watched them, lost in thought. 

“Rey?,” she heard a voice call. Turning, Rey’s face split into a grin as she hurled herself into Finn’s outstretched arms. 

“Rey! You’re alright!,” Finn cried joyfully, squeezing her tightly. Rey let out a squeak of pain and Finn let go, panicked. “You’re hurt!”

“It’s been a rough couple weeks,” Rey admitted with a weak smile. Finn beamed back and waved his arm to indicate the camp being set up.

“But you’re okay. That’s the most important thing,” he stated. “We’re setting up camp and then you can tell me everything.” 

“Not unless you promise the same,” Rey rejoined, waving Jess over. The woman dropped her crates and dashed over to embrace Rey. Her heart soared. She forgot about the connections she had forged with her friends during the long trek from Alderaan, the early days of the Resistance as they fled from the First Order, Hux ordering men to sniff out their every move. Her nights huddled with Jess in the cool northern forests, Finn teaching her how to ride a horse properly as they galloped along the western plains, Poe’s sly humor over the dinner spit. 

“Where is Poe?,” she demanded, not seeing him among the group. 

“He’ll be here shortly,” Finn replied. “Now, let’s get camp set up and catch up.” 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey comforts Ben in his grief, reaches a conclusion with Kylo about the future of her relationship with him, and hears some uncomfortable intel from Leia.

The soldiers worked quickly, a Resistance team of alchemists sketching out circles and casting a spell to keep the camp invisible from light. Rey ran a critical eye over their workings and shook her head. They were more to reflect light away than anything else and some of the workings were just sloppy.  She itched to repair the errors and tucked her hands under her armpits, face drawn in tight lines. Ben came to stand beside her. 

“Yes, I see them too.”

“They’re terrible,” she said shortly. “Where’s Kylo?”

“He’s meeting with mother in the tent, giving her a full field report. She’ll want to talk with you soon to get a scope of the machinery and the camp.” She was silent, weighing his words. 

“‘You’ve come to fetch me.” He gave a short nod and held out his arm. She took it, allowed him to tuck hers against him, and lead her to center tent. Along the way, other soldiers would tip their hats, bob a curtsey, mutter “your majesties” in a deferential voice as they strode through the crowds. 

She had forgotten this. Willingly, too, she realized, with a sinking heart. As much as she loved Ben, she loved her anonymity more. Blinking back tears, she allowed Ben to usher her into the tent. Leia sat across from Kylo, a table strewn with maps and Poe standing at the other end, his arms folded across his chest, a stern look on his face. Upon her entrance, he moved forward and placed warm hands on her arms. 

“Rey, dear, you’re alive!”

“Was there any doubt?,” Kylo groused. 

“One can never be entirely sure of your motives, Kylo,” Poe said in a mock cheerful voice. Rey slipped out of Poe’s embrace and smiled, the warmth not quite reaching her eyes. 

“I’m grateful for your concern, Commander,” she said coolly, but truthfully. Poe raised one brow gracefully but stepped away, murmuring, “your majesty.” She and Ben took their seats across from Leia, hands linked. Kylo moved to stand behind them. The princess took in their formation with a keen glance and a small twitch of her lips. 

“Rey, what can you tell me about the equipment?,” she began in a raspy voice. Rey reported what she had seen, Poe and Leia nodding throughout and peppering her with questions. She drew a quick sketch, pointing out the joint vulnerabilities and the seams they were currently excavating. Kylo added to their intel with details from the latest dispatches. Leia sat back and listened with pursed lips. 

“Tell me, Kylo,” she said at last. “Why are you assisting?”

“Rey believes passionately in this cause and wherever she goes, I will follow,” he stated, arms behind him at parade rest, his eyes as dispassionate as his tone. “I also know that Snoke will stop at nothing until he possesses her and the rest of the world. As your highness knows, I’ve been under his tender mercies. I can reasonably determine what kind of kingdom he would create.”

“Worse than the Emperor’s,” Ben added in a flinty voice. Rey tightened her fingers around his. 

“Well, then, we all know where we stand. And we better hope Rey does not find herself in Snoke’s hands,” Leia concluded soberly. She almost glared at the young woman who straightened her back and met the older’s woman’s steely gaze. Leia seemed surprised and rose. 

“Let’s call a tactical meeting, Poe,” she commanded before pausing and raking her eyes over Ben and Rey. “Ben, my son. You know this officially makes you king of Croytan. You may lead the meeting if you prefer.” 

“I defer to your expertise, mother,” Ben said with a slight inclination of his head. Leia smiled wanly and exited, Poe trailing after her. Rey slumped in her seat, deflated.

“Why don’t I feel as if she is on her side?”

“Mother shoves everything away.”

“Because she’s not,” Kylo snapped. “She’s on her own. She likes to believe it’s allied with Croytan’s.” 

“How dare you,” Ben shot back. But Rey noticed how it was empty of heat, his features betraying his exhaustion. 

“Stopping the force here is but a distraction,” Kylo gritted out. “We need to get to Snoke.”

“And how do we do that? We can’t get into Alderaan.”

“He’s not in Alderaan. He has withdrawn back to his manor in Hoth.”

“Hoth,” Ben echoed, tilting his head.

“Where’s that?” Rey’s geography was sketchy at best. 

“At the very north of Uthos.” 

“It’ll take us weeks to get there,” Ben mused. 

“We’ll get there faster in the Falcon. Han had been working on the engine.”

“Does it actually submerge in the water?,” Rey asked. 

“Yes, that’s how it’s able to get by enemy ships. Han has been working on it diligently and it worked on our way here,” Ben answered emptily. 

“Then we’ll go,” Kylo said darkly. “Let’s stop trying to find temporary solutions--it’s time to destroy the root.”  Ben said nothing, rising from his seat and following Kylo out of the tent. Rey sighed and buried her face in her hands. She was exhausted, dirty, her feet throbbing, her back and shoulders aching from being pulled and wrenched aside, her hands covered in scrapes. She wanted a bath, she wanted fresh clothes, and she wanted a meal. 

The tent flap pulled aside and Finn walked in carrying a hunk of meat and a bread roll. He placed them in front of her and unhooked a flask from his side. Rey gave him a grateful smile, tears springing to her eyes. 

“Tell me about it,” he requested softly. Between bites, Rey told him everything. His brow furrowed as she spoke but she appreciated how he did not interrupt, only pushed more food toward her. She took a sip from the flask, reveling in the cool sweet water. She was feeling mostly restored by the time she was finished, wiping crumbs off her skirt. 

“I’ll make sure Jess gets you new clothes shortly,” he said softly. Finn reached over and folded her hand between his. “Rey. You sound confused. Are you sure this is what you want?” 

“I made a promise, Finn. I’m married to Ben. I have to work things out with him.”

“And you are certain this is what you want?” 

Rey bit her lip. “I don’t want to be queen. I prefer a simpler life. But I can’t turn my back on the vow I made. And, and--”

“You still love him,” Finn interjected, releasing her hand and sitting forward, elbows on his thighs. “And Kylo? What do you plan to do?” Rey shrugged and spread her hand helplessly. Finn blew out his breath and rubbed his forehead. 

“Rey, this is an unconventional situation. Perhaps you should think unconventionally.” 

“Finn,” Rey interrupted. “You never told me Ben took a Mandalorian to his bed.” He shifted, averting his eyes. 

“I did not want to add to the pain I thought you already experienced. You were trying to rebuild your marriage.”

“So you made a decision without including me,” she prompted coldly. He nodded once, solemn and sad. 

“I’m sorry, Rey,” he whispered. “To his credit, she left the tent early and several of the men teased him saying he couldn’t get it up.”

“That’s what he said,” she murmured. Finn rolled his shoulders.

“It’s difficult to say,” he eventually said. “And Han really was here?”

“Yes, his death was faked. Until……” Finn rubbed her shoulders and she leaned into him. “Finn, I need you to be safe. This mission is dangerous.”

“It’s dangerous for all of us, Rey. But I need you to understand something.” He pushed her away, looked squarely into her eyes. “Ben was a good commander. But he sometimes forgot empathy. You give that to him, you make him feel it. I know you don’t want to be queen. However, think of what you can offer Croytan. We need your compassion.” Rey winced and shifted in her seat. The silence was comfortable, companionable, and Rey could hear Leia stirring the troops outside. Finn sighed. 

“Is it Poe?,” Rey asked quietly. She knew of Finn’s quiet pining for the older man for quite some time. Finn nodded glumly.

“He still persists with his engagement with Jess.” 

“Poor Jess,” Rey reflected. Finn snorted.

“You should know. She has no idea that Poe and I….that we…” Rey laid a calming hand on his thigh.

“You don’t have to say it aloud.” Finn gulped.

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt.” Rey looked away at the dun colored tent walls. Poe had proposed to Jess before growing close with Finn, before discovering his feelings for him. He was reluctant to break off the engagement. Rey had sat at several meetings where the two gazed longingly at each other, averting gazes when they thought anyone else looked too closely. 

“But you are the one who ends up hurt,” Rey finally said. Finn shrugged. 

“He’ll be happy--”

“I doubt it. He won’t. Look, Finn,” she leaned forward and lowered her voice. “You’re encouraging me to think of an unconventional solution. Perhaps you should be open to that yourself.” Finn let out a wry chuckle and rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t think Jess will be as open to that solution. Both Kylo and Ben love you.”

“Maybe it is Poe who will need to propose it as he is in my position,” she mused, realizing as she spoke, that she had to do the same. If she wanted both Kylo and Ben, then she would need to be the one to bring them together. She smothered a laugh at the thought of locking them in a closet to make them comfortable with one another.

Finn picked up on her amusement and raised one brow artfully. “Rey Kenobi, you little ingenue.”

“Hardly an ingenue,” Rey giggled and they both fell apart with laughter. She spent the remaining hour with him, exchanging information, catching up on details. Finn showed her his latest medals and relayed some of his hairy exploits and she excitedly told him about her training with the Knights of Ren. 

She was elated by the time they parted, when Jess came to fetch her. The other woman carried a bundle of clothes and some soap, chatting with Rey as they strolled to a cove nearby where other women bathed. 

“Too much time on a ship,” Jess confided, wrinkling her nose. Rey laughed again and dipped into the pool, noticing the other women watching her warily. 

“Do you expect us to bathe you?,” one woman asked coldly. “The general does not expect us to treat her like royalty.” Rey shivered at the cool ocean lapping against her skin and sank down to her knees, water covering her up to neck. 

“The general?,” she queried, confused. 

“Leia no longer wishes to be known as princess. She absconded in favor of Ben ruling uncontested,” Jess confided in a low voice. Rey furrowed her brow, reflecting on the potential consequences of that decision. Her hand floated down to touch her belly. 

“When did she do that?,” she asked, lathering the soap in her hands and washing her hair. She ignored the other women. 

“About six months ago.” Rey thought back. This was when she began to sleep with Kylo, she realized, going cold. She flashed to Leia’s eyes roving over her belly, always checking the rag bucket each month with disappointment in her eyes. Rey’s skin grew warm with fury and she ducked under the water, salt prickling her eyes. When she surfaced, she still felt the other women watching her cautiously. She turned to face them. 

“I expect to be treated same as the general. This is war. No time for fripperies,” she stated firmly. Two women nodded and returned to bathing. Rey devoted the rest of her attention to Jess, keeping the topics light, refusing to address the dread settling in her belly. 

She was lighter but preoccupied by the time she made her way back to camp. Jess had apologetically offered her standard uniform--olive colored skirt, brown boots, a sand colored blouse. Jess told her a set of trousers would be cut for her tomorrow and she smiled gratefully. Jess led her to Ben’s tent and she embraced her friend goodnight.  

It was one of the largest, the Organa symbol fluttering in the wind, and guards stationed outside. One drew the flap aside so she could enter. Ben was sitting at a table, staring glumly at a map. He seemed to have aged a dozen years, she thought, as she sank down onto his lap. He looked startled but pressed his face into her. She felt the tears dampen her shirt and cooed soft words, running her fingers through his hair. 

He needed this time to mourn. 

Ben gripped her waist tightly and lifted her, dumping her unceremoniously on the camp bed. She squeaked as he covered her with his large frame, caging her between his arms, his mouth everywhere except on her lips. He worked off her belt, unbuttoned her blouse, his lips trailing after his hands, roaming over her breasts and her breathing grew ragged. She willed herself quiet, listening to the soldiers as they talked in low voices, boots marching by the tent. Ben wiggled out of his trousers and doused the lamp, asking her to remove her skirt in a low voice. 

“Kiss me,” she asked as she stood. Ben clasped her to him, working her hair out of her bun, claiming her with his lips, his tongue exploring her mouth, covering her gasps with kisses as the chilled air hit her skin. She instinctively drew closer to him and he laid her on the bed again, gently this time, before positioning himself between her thighs. 

She gasped as he slid inside her without preamble, her body tight and unprepared. Rey bit her lip, whining as Ben moved inside of her, grunting in effort, his hips jerking roughly.

“Ben,” she whimpered and he cursed, drawing out to plunge a finger into her, smear her dampness between her lower lips. His thumb caressed her clit and she moaned and he snatched his hand back. He covered her mouth and he plunged into her again, stifling her cries. She closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around him, and let him wear his grief out on her. It was nearly painful, not enjoyable, but it was not about pleasure, she knew.

He needed to know he was alive. 

With a loud grunt, Ben collapsed on top of her and her air escaped in a huff. He was heavy, his body sweaty, and he pressed a sloppy kiss to her ear. 

“I’m sorry, Rey,” he whispered, his voice thick and tight. Rey planted a gentle kiss on his forehead, slid over on the bed as he pulled out of her. She lay his head on her chest, threading her fingers through his hair, running a tender hand up his arm.

“It’s okay,” she soothed as he wept openly. She stayed with him, dozing lightly, until her eyes snapped open. Kylo was staring down at them, his face hard. Rey carefully slid out from Ben’s arm, pulling the blanket around his shoulders. She made out Kylo jerking his head and stomping outside. Rey quickly dressed and followed, taking in one soldier’s leer. She scoffed and followed Kylo out of the camp and into the edge of the forest. He was pacing, fists tight at his side. 

“What is it?,” she asked in a low voice. Kylo whirled to snarl at her. She stepped back, hands in front of her. “It was for comfort, Kylo.”

“And is that how you will comfort me? Spread your legs?”

“He is my husband!”

“Didn’t stop you before,you--” She slapped him, hard and he stopped. Furious, Rey slapped him again and he dabbed at the blood on his lip, his head bowed. She was breathing hard, her face drawn in tight lines. Kylo’s shoulders sagged. 

“I deserved that. I’m sorry.”

“How could you?”

“I…..I got so jealous seeing you there with him. I need you too, Rey,” Kylo confessed, looking up at her, his eyes glimmering with tears. Rey had never felt more confused in her life. 

“I thought you hated Han.”

“I respected him. And he, out of all them, protested what they wanted to do more than ever. He was against the plan to send me to you. He was against Luke’s original proposal to bring me back to life. He hated giving me over to Snoke to protect Ben. You forget, Han was a commoner like us. He  _ understood,”  _ Kylo hissed, half sobbing.  Rey watched him cautiously. 

“He did not seem happy to see you when we arrived.” Kylo slumped against a tree.

“He was more worried about how you would take it, Rey. I’m surprised you haven’t left us, frankly. I would have.”

“I love you,” Rey declared suddenly. “I deeply care about you, Kylo. I enjoyed waking up next to you in the mornings. I, I mean what we did, what we shared…...I love you.”

Kylo said shakily: “I love you too, Rey. I don’t ever want to be without you.” She held up a hand. 

“But I love Ben, too. It didn’t fade. I think you knew. I think that’s why you sent me to him.” 

“I suspected as much. But I had hoped…”

Rey tread carefully next: “I think you knew Obfirma would follow me.” Kylo only regarded her steadily. “Did you hope that he would kill Ben?” 

“If I say yes, what kind of monster does that make me?” 

“An honest one,” she stated. 

“But a monster nonetheless,” he corrected. “I would not have you turn away from me for all the world, Rey.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Then yes,” he said harshly. “I had hoped Obfirma might kill Ben. I had hoped to comfort you in your grief.”

“Did you hope to be king?” She hated her breathy voice, the way her heart was racing. Kylo scoffed.

“No. I hoped to take you from all of this. We could move to some far off country, live a quiet existence. I could take care of you. You could be happy. You’re not happy, Rey.” She turned away and he moved closer to her, his hot breath ghosting along her cheek. “You’re not happy as queen, Rey.”

“I made a promise.” He gripped her shoulders tightly, turned her to face him.

“But if you aren’t happy, that promise means nothing. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to make you happy. Nothing,” he vowed vehemently. Rey let out a little cry and grabbed his neck, bent him to kiss her.  He clutched her tightly, his fingers digging into her arms as he devoured her. He lifted her, pressed her against a tree, his hand hastily shoving up her skirts.

“I heard you,” he confessed to her collarbone as he nibbled on her. She arched against him, begging for him to touch her. He thumbed aside her underwear and circled her clit, gently pressing against it, rubbing her and she ground down on him.

“Did he make you cum like I do?” She didn’t answer, only mewled into his hair as her skin bloomed with fire, her breath burning in her lungs. He worked her without tenderness, his mouth nipping at her beneath her shirt. Impatiently, she unbuttoned her blouse, pulled out a breast and he took it eagerly between his mouth and she let her head roll back, tightening her legs around him.

She did not want to scream, she buried her face in his hair, gasping loudly as she clenched tighter, her vision going white, her body aching, aching, need to be filled.

“I need you inside of me,” she whined. Kylo gripped her ass tightly, reaching down to free himself before plunging inside of her. She bit her hand, whimpering as Kylo thrust into her, his mouth a fire on her neck, her breast, whispering her name repeatedly. He sucked her shoulder, jerking once, twice, until he came with a shudder. Rey sighed and let out a breathy giggle.

“What?,” Kylo asked dazedly. She only shook her head, said nothing as Kylo slowly eased out of her and lowered her. She clung to the tree as she steadied her legs, recognizing that she was  bit dizzy from the day’s events.  She focused on inhaling deeply, letting the tree support her weight, drowsiness slipping around her. 

“Rey, darling,” Kylo murmured. “You’re falling asleep.” He prodded her away from the tree and linked an arm around her waist, guiding her back to the camp. 

“If I decide to be with both of you, then you both need to be amenable to the idea and amiable to one another,” Rey said, half slurring in her tired state. Kylo snorted. She slapped him lightly on the arm. 

“I doubt he will be as comfortable sharing you.”

“We will need to learn. I don’t want to have to choose between either of you.” Kylo said nothing in response and Rey listened to the waves crashing on shore, little laps of water against the rocks. She felt him exhale, an exhausted noise coming from him. 

“I’ll try, but only for you,” he kissed the top of her head and drew up close to the tent. When Leia stepped out, her face stern. Rey immediately straightened, could feel color staining her cheeks. 

“Kylo. Rey. I’ve been looking for you.”

“How’s Ben?,” Rey asked, moving to step around the general. Leia thrust out an arm, blocking her. 

“He’s asleep as I assumed you left him,” she replied severely. Rey only tilted her chin and composed herself, folding her hands in front of her waist. “Kylo,be a dear. If you’re planning on leaving in a few hours, you will need to supply yourself. The quartermaster is two tents over. Make arrangements with him.”

“Yes, general,” Kylo snapped and stalked away leaving the two women to survey one another in the lamp light. 

“I’m about to take some tea, Rey. I would like some company,” Leia began, pointing toward her tent, her palm open and flat. Rey inclined her head slightly and followed her mother in law, ignoring open looks of curiosity from the soldiers huddled around camp fires. It was nearing midnight but that did not stop preparations for war, she reflected, as she pushed the canvas flap aside and took a seat across from Leia. As her general, Rey could command Leia to serve her tea. 

But she didn’t. Rey poured out two cups and placed one in front of the older women who reclined wearily in the canvas chair. 

“Rey, would I be amiss in thinking you are sleeping with both Kylo and Ben?”

“And what business is it of yours?,” Rey snapped, colder than she would have liked. Leia pinched the bridge of her nose and looked pained. 

“Do you know who becomes king if Ben has no heirs?”

“I’m assuming some sort of cousin, a duke or something,” Rey replied, mystified in the sudden change of direction. Leia tossed her head and to Rey’s astonishment, pulled out a silver case. 

“Mind if I smoke, Rey?” She didn’t wait for an answer, extracting a slim cigarette and leaning forward to light it with the candle on the table. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, a kind of peace on her face. Rey watched silently, her tea untouched. 

“My father made a pact with a general during the Separatist Wars,” Leia began, smoke escaping between her lips. “If he died without issue, and if his heirs died without issue, this general, Gallius Rex, would be named supreme rule of Cryotan.”

“Why would he make such a deal?”

“Because Gallius had access to some of the materials Anakin needed to bring our mother back to life. This was the deal he struck.” 

“But you had Ben. Shouldn’t this general be dead by now?” Leia took another drag and reached forward to hook a finger through her mug’s handle, dragging it toward her. She kept her eyes on Rey as she picked up the cup and took a deep swallow. Rey lifted her head and followed suit. 

“This general is better known now as Snoke,” Leia revealed. Rey’s mouth dropped open and Leia smirked. “This is the intel you are expected to receive as queen, Rey. You should learn to control your reactions. Courtiers will follow your every move and make decisions based on what you do. You wear a flower in your hair, next thing you know, flowers will be on everything.” Despite herself, Rey giggled. She remembered when she chose to continue with her three bun hairstyle and how the sycophants had copied, multiple buns appearing at the next ball. Leia lifted one side of her mouth in a smile. 

“You remember,” she said smokily, stubbing out her cigarette. “And if you do not have a child, Rey, Snoke will claim the throne.”

“He took it anyways.”

“But we live in hope. We exist in rebellion. A child….” she spread her hands and Rey blinked, looking away. 

“I am not pregnant. My courses came two weeks ago,” Rey simply said before adding in a halting voice: “Ben believes he is impotent. Same as Kylo. One of the prices extracted for what Luke did.” Leia sighed bitterly and rubbed her forehead. 

“I should have expected that. However,” she pursed her lips and ran a critical eye over Rey. “Have you slept with both of them? Perhaps together….” Rey attempted to remain composed, but couldn’t stop the acidic laugh from spilling out of her mouth. 

“You ruin everything you know that? You let me believe Kylo was Ben--”

“To see if you could become with child.” Rey plowed on, ignoring her. 

“And then now, when it’s possible that the three of us could find a way to go forward, you find a way to ruin it. Rather than sleeping with them because I want to, I am now  _ obligated _ for the good of the kingdom!”

“For the world, Rey!” Leia entreated. “You know what Snoke is like. I know what Snoke is like. You remember what happened to Alderaan.” Rey shook her head and crossed her arms. She wanted to flee but knew she had to stay. Leia was not done with her. 

“Do you remember the audiences I would hold with people every Thursday?,” Leia said suddenly. Rey made a face. Leia was certainly changing tact frequently this evening. 

“I didn’t meet with courtiers; I met with commoners whose land had been destroyed by the Emperor. I remember this one couple. They were smuggling food in from Ocrana and the Emperor had them beaten, tortured their children in front of them and then sowed salt in their fields.” Leia’s eyes grew misty as she spoke. Rey remained unmoved, wondering what the point of the story was.   Leia’s voice became colder as she continued: “I tried to make amends for my father’s mistakes. We made Alderaan University as low cost as possible. We opened orphanages for families. We created apprenticeship programs, pursued aether to reduce the workloads for people.” 

“And yet you still let people like me starve in the desert.”

“Someone will always get left behind, Rey,” Leia said practically. “Even if we don’t want them to.”  Rey sneered and Leia snarled back: “We’ll see how you will do as queen.” Rey simply glared at her and Leia sighed wearily, burying her face in her hands. 

“I’m sorry, Rey. I didn’t mean….”

“I know what you meant,” Rey responded coolly. Leia chuckled wryly. 

“I always misstep with you. Ever since that moment with Plutt. I should have let you go to Ben with it.”

“Regret is not useful.”

“No, but regret makes us human. And I am very human, Rey, despite what you may think of me.” Rey said nothing, taking a sip of her tea, and waiting patiently. After a moment, Leia reached into her pocket and took out a locket. She opened it and presented it to Rey. Inside sat a small grey pill. 

“Ben informed me of your plan to go to Snoke. I think it’s stupid. Brave but stupid. Because if Snoke captures you…”

“He’ll use me to power the aether instruments.”

“He’ll also breed you. You’re powerful, Rey. So is he. Both powers combined…” she trailed off as Rey tried not to retch, her stomach unsettled. She had gone pale and took a deep swig of tea, coughing. 

“If that happens all is lost.”

“And how does this pill help?”

“It’s cyanide. It’s quick. It’s a better alternative,” Leia said quietly as Rey drew the locket toward her, examining the little grey pill critically.  After a moment, she closed the locket and clasped it around her neck. Leia offered her a watery smile. 

“Be safe,” Leia said and stood up. Rey took her leave with a curt handshake and strode back to the tent. She was mulling over the conversation as she kicked off the boots, sliding in next to Ben’s form, his mouth open in a deep sleep. She brushed his hair back and pulled the blanket up to cover them both, tucking herself next to his chest. He mumbled and rolled onto his back, his arm instinctively tightening around her. Rey sighed and was drifting off to sleep when she realized that both men had come inside of her. She sat up in horror, mind racing over the potential consequences, the locket hanging heavily between her breasts. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your kudos and support! All your thoughts are appreciated! I hope I answered some of the questions you had about the characters and their motivations. I intend for this to end within 9 chapters. So we top out at 34/35.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can see your Breylo  
> EXPLICIT TAG EARNED HERE   
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I wrote this filth. Cuz that's all this is. You've been warned.

Rey sighed wistfully as the island slipped away, the Falcon puttering away across the ocean’s surface. She leaned against the waist high railing, listening to the slap of the water on the side of the submersible, the island dark, the light pinkening from the sun rising behind it. She fingered the locket and wondered how to approach Ben with her desires. 

The Falcon’s engine spluttered and Rey clattered down the ladder, descending into the gray control room.  

“Seal the hatch,” Ben requested solemnly behind the controls. The thick glass windows looked out at the sea and Rey pulled the hatch closed, giving the crank several hard turns until it clanged locked. She gripped the ladder rail tightly, trepidation warring with curiosity. She had never been in the Falcon on a dive before. 

“Prepare to dive,” Kylo intoned from beside her, manning another set of controls. A myriad of bells, levels, and buttons were arrayed in front of him, same as with Ben. Ben gripped a wheel in his hands and began flipping buttons before grabbing a lever beside him. 

“Diving to fifty feet,” he said.

“Dive to five oh feet,” Kylo repeated and Ben slowly pulled back on the brass lever. Rey gulped and tightened her grip as the long pointed nose of the Falcon slowly tipped downward. The ship hissed and moaned, the water surging up to cover the glass dome. She blinked as they slid below the surface, the room growing gloomy and dim, lit only by lamps strung on the bulkheads.  Kylo bent at his waist to tap a button on the side of a console. Lights on the outside flashed and illuminated the area in front of them--yellow cutting through swathes of murky sea. The Falcon groaned and Rey gasped. 

“Are we quite safe?”

“Sure, we’ve gone down to three hundred feet--although I wouldn’t recommend it unless in an emergency because it can take a long time to re-surface,” Ben gritted out between leveling the ship off. The sea was cloudy and dim and Rey heard the engine grinding around her. She saw Kylo fiddling with some dials and a pinging noise filled the room. She reluctantly let go of the ladder and tentatively took a step toward him. 

“It’s a sound wave machine,” he explained. “Chewie discovered that sound travels faster in water and will come back to us. We listen to the sea basically.” He toggled a switch and a dull rushing sound filled the room, a speaker crackling with a low moan.

“That’s a sea beast, a whale,” Ben said, his mouth twisting around the foreign word. She tilted her head, listening to the pulsing of the water, the chugging of the engine behind her. 

“May I see the engine room?,” she asked. Ben jerked his thumb behind him and Rey edged down the tight corridor, making sure she stepped carefully through the raised doorways. She spent a good hour examining the rotating turbines, discovering the aether gems embedded throughout as they converted seawater to energy. She wandered back to the command room, Ben working the controls mechanically. Kylo was nowhere to be seen. The water was brighter and Rey could make out a school of jellyfish, pink and electric ahead of them.

“Kylo’s asleep,” Ben said, picking up on her unasked question. She came to stand beside him and pointed at the fish. He reached up to press her hand against his shoulder, covering it with his large warm one. 

“We’re fine,” he assured her. “They’ll go around us.” Even as he spoke, the jellyfish divided like curtains and the Falcon slipped between them. She watched with parted lips, observing each and every wonder. Schools of silvery fish sped past the dome and Rey exhaled softly. Ben squeezed her hand. 

“Thank you. For last night. That’s not,” he paused to clear his throat. Rey chuckled and the tips of his ears reddened. “That is, that’s not how I imagined our first night together again would go.” 

Rey swooped down and pressed her lips softly to his. He responded urgently, pinning her to him with his hand, cupping and massaging her neck. He entreated her to open her lips, running her tongue along the seam of her mouth, and Rey acquiesced eagerly. 

Ben tugged her onto his lap, fingers carding through her hair. 

“Give me a second chance,” he petitioned, grinding his hips against her thigh. Her breath hitched and she let out a breathy yes as her head tipped back and he licked a stripe down her throat. He devoted time to the notch in her collarbone, nibbling and murmuring compliments as she adjusted herself on his lap, rubbing herself against the hard length straining against his trousers. Her breathing grew ragged as he palmed a breast through her shirt, fingers nimbly working to unbutton her, her skin flushed and he pushed the chemis down, pulling her breast over the lace before taking one rosy nipple and rolling it between his thumb, rasping her name reverently.

She watched him with a tender expression on her face as he bent forward and took her delicately in his mouth, tongue circling her areola, her skin pebbling and her belly tightening. Bless flooded his features as he swept his tongue across her nipple. She whimpered and ground down on him, distracted by the growing throbbing between her legs. 

“I’ve missed you terribly, my love,” Ben’s hot breath ghosted across her skin and she pleaded with him not to stop. He gazed into her face as he massaged one breast, taking the other between his lips and scraping her skin with the flat of his teeth. She gasped loudly and rocked herself against him, an ache building within, threatening to rip a scream from her. Ben complied, sliding his hand under her skirt and thumbing her underwear aside. 

He swore: “Maker, Rey, you’re soaked.” He dragged a finger through her slick folds and she hated the slight sob that escaped her.

“Not here, please,” she pleaded throatily and he nodded curtly, pressing her tightly to him and rose out of the chair. He planted a kiss on the swell of her breast and made a few adjustments to the console’s buttons before grasping her by the elbow and leading her down the portside to the captain’s cabin.  Her heart was racing, need coursing through her as she trailed her husband into the lush cabin, a porthole as tall as her offering a clear view of colorful fish swirling by, kelp brushing the glass. She had only a moment to take it in before Ben shoved her against a wall, his mouth a fire down her neck, her breasts brushing the silk covered walls. Ben glided his hands over her shoulders and down her chest, sliding her out of her shirt, his mouth working down her back. Rey shivered and clutched the silk, sucking her bottom lip.

She did not want to beg, she told herself, astonished she had forgotten how skillful Ben’s hands could be as they delved below her skirt, skimming her mound before dipping between her thighs. She was slightly horrified to find herself thrusting back against him, grinding against his hard cock--but not horrified enough to realize that she wanted him, that desire filled her to the brim. She pushed her worries aside. 

“Please,” she begged as he swirled one finger around her clit. She clawed at the wall as he nibbled her shoulder, her neck, while teasing her, circling away, before sliding between her lips to brush more fully against it. She bore down on his fingers, begging hoarsely for him.

“That’s my girl,” he murmured. “Do you want this?”

“Maker, yes,” she implored, letting her head back against his muscular chest, crying out in relief as his thick finger plunged inside of her before dragging down her walls. She clenched around him, one hand flying to cover his, to keep him there, rolling her hips, as the pulsing built within her. She let out a startled gasp as a shudder wracked her body, the heat swelled, her breasts heavy. 

Rey quivered and yanked his mouth to hers, devouring him while she rocked her hips, as he flicked her, thumbing her clit harder, faster, pumping one, then two fingers into her. Her cry was swallowed by his lips, muted and sweet, as she clenched around him, her body shaking, her eyes glassy. Ben’s lip quirked in purely male pleasure as he carefully extracted his fingers. 

She slumped against the wall, watched him dazily suck on one then another, before wrapping his hand around her waist and pulling her belt from the loops. Her skirt half slid down her leg and he wrenched it down to pool around her feet. She stood only in her chemise, the shoulder straps around her elbows, her breasts hanging over the beige lace. Ben’s pupils dilated and he licked his lips. 

“You’re absolutely scrumptious, Rey,” he praised as he escorted her to bed, laying her gently on the velvet spread. Rey twined one leg around his knee and pulled him down to rest on her. He propped himself on one elbow and began to lay swift pecks on each freckle--across her nose, her chin, the fawn colored mark on the left bottom ear lobe. 

Rey’s hands skimmed over his broad shoulders, tugging his shirt out of trousers and he sat up, shrugged out of it before tossing it to the floor. She frowned slightly at the ridged scar along his right shoulder joint, tracing it before he grasped her hand, kissed it delicately before sloping down to meet her lips. She moaned in his mouth, her hands skating over his hips, tracing the dip of muscles into his pants. She fumbled with his trousers, freeing his thick cock and squeezed him slightly before pumping him once, twice and Ben twitched above her, his breathing growing shallow as he swayed into her palms. 

“Oh, Rey, how I dreamt of this,” he slurred, his mouth slack with need as she ran a thumb over his leaking tip. In a flash, he spread open her legs and pulled her chemise off, rocking back onto his knees, Rey half following as she latched her gaze on his slitted eyes, his hips slowly circling. Rey grabbed his ass, squeezed, tightly, moaning at the feel of the hard flesh. Ben growled, planted her back on the bed and slid down to position his cock at her entrance. Rey arched her back, wiggled her way down until she felt the slightest touch of him against her. He dragged himself against her sopping cunt, a half choked cry emerging, before he slowly entered her. 

Rey groaned in delight, grabbing his hair and rolling her hips. Ben inhaled shakily, holding himself up by one arm as he moved within her, watching her body flush as warmth crept up, as her orgasm began to build again. She dug her heels into the bed, clutched at his hips and clamped a hand across her mouth as she started to scream as his fingers nudged her clit. An electric shock bolted through her and Ben did it again, his own breathing loud and she knew she was wanton, didn’t care, moving her hips hard to meet him. 

Swearing, Ben jerked out of her and grabbed himself, his hand working furiously, Rey following suit with one hand on his cock and the other swirling around her clit. Almost shouting her name, he shot out thick ropy cum all over her thighs and belly. A moment later, Rey uttered his name and her hips rose off the bed, her eyes closed as she went over  the edge, Ben watching with pleasure, adoration, wonder. She collapsed and he rolled onto his back next to her as they both focused on learning how to breathe again. 

Ben found her left hand next to his, and brought it to his lips, kissing her sapphire ring.

“I missed you, my wife,” he exhaled gustily and she let out a weak laugh before rising on trembling legs to pad over to the refresher.  Ben showed her how to work the shower with the de salinator aether pump and water heater. 

They splashed each other under the warm spray and Rey relaxed into him, let his arms hug her to him loosely. She closed her eyes, allowed herself to ignore her worries, let her mind travel over the afternoon. Until her eyes flew open and she realized she saw a face peering in on them through the porthole in the cabin door. 

Kylo had been watching them. 

Rey’s hand covered her mouth and Ben stopped lathering soap into her hair.

“What?”

“I’m pretty sure Kylo was watching us,” she admitted after a moment. Ben frowned, hands clenching her hair tightly and Rey yelped. “Ben!” 

“Sorry, sorry,” he said rapidly. “I’m going to beat that little shit.” Rey turned and planted a hand on his chest, stepping out of the spray, white foamy soap running down her body. 

“No. I need to talk with you. A lot happened last night.” 

“Like what? And where did you get that locket?” He fingered the large brass pendant with a scowl on his brow. 

“That’s what I need to speak with you about,” she explained. “Let’s talk at lunch. But first--a promise. Leave Kylo alone.” Ben rolled his eyes and flexed his arms for a minute before nodding consent. Rey shot him one last warning glare before presenting him with her back again. He stepped toward her and ran gleeful hands down her body, tracing each curve and Rey snuggled against him, savoring the feel of his gentle fingers, his minty breath on her skin. 

Ben left her shortly to go back up to console to check on the course bearings. Rey sat on the bed, wrapped in a towel, and combing out her hair while watching the sea through the large porthole. A shark cruised by and peered at her with his flat black eyes. She stilled, almost sure he could burst through the glass and devour her. He lazily swam beside the sub, his gills rippling in the blue green water and she forced herself to continue running the comb through her hair. 

“He can’t hurt you,” came a voice behind her. Rey smiled wanly, knew Kylo would find her sooner or later. 

“I am safe?,” she questioned instead. Kylo strode across the room to stand behind her. He bared his teeth at the shark who moved on with a flick of his tail. Rey sniffed. 

“Maybe from him, but not from me,” Kylo warned, coming around to kneel in front of her. Rey laid her hands on her lap.

“Enjoy your little show?,” she asked with a raised brow. He was clad only in dark trousers, his flesh gleaming with sweat. She noticed his split knuckles and her hand darted down to gather it to her.  “What happened?”

“Took it out on the punching bag in my little cabin,” he sneered. “I know you want both of us, but I don’t like being made a fool.”

“I didn’t mean for you to feel like that,” she replied, dazed. He snorted. 

“Did you tell him that you want the three of us to be together? Have you figured out how that might work?” She gave a slow shake of her head and Kylo snatched his hand back only to yank her towel off of her, his eyes sweeping hungrily over her form. Rey knew he had seen her naked before, but felt the urge to cover herself.

She resisted.

She meant it--she would make this work. 

She raised her chin and Kylo picked up her foot, his thumb massaging her arch. Rey’s legs trembled and she leaned back onto her elbows, watching through slitted eyes as Kylo laid an open mouth kiss on her ankle. She rolled her head, let her eyes close as he moved up her leg, one swipe of his tongue against the back of knee. She shivered as he gently coaxed her legs apart, groaning as he took in the sight of her pink pussy glistening wetly from her shower,  grazing one knuckle against her delicate folds. 

Rey whimpered and felt her body tighten. She shifted her weight to scoot closer to the edge of the bed. Kylo hummed in pleasure as he nuzzled her, the tip of his tongue tracing every dip and fold. Rey trembled as one of his hands slid up her thigh to press her flat to the bed. 

She gripped the sheets tightly as he dragged the flat of his tongue across her before swirling it around the top of her lips, barely brushing her sensitive bundle of nerves. He did this repeatedly, one hand massaging her thigh, the other sliding between her ever slickening folds, spreading her apart to minister increasingly rapid licks, the flat of his teeth scraping against her clit causing her to writhe, crying his name in a chaotic voice. 

Kylo swirled one finger around her clit before slipping one inside of her slippery cunt, withdrawing it briefly before rapidly pushing inside of her, lazily drawing a circle against her walls. Rey was shaking, she knew she’s making a racket as her hands grip his hair tightly, almost squeezing his head between her knees. He moved his mouth downward and she let out a shocked cry as his tongue probed her tight hole between her ass cheeks and she is bewildered as he lathes her ass with his tongue, as one finger revolved around her clit and two fingers are buried to the knuckle within her. She felt herself dripping wetly and was almost thrilled by her body’s reaction, one hand latching onto her breast and rolling her nipple. Her body was on fire, almost lifting on the bed as he drove her faster and faster to the edge of pleasure. 

She came with a shriek, sure that her heart was going to explode from her chest. She couldn’t catch her breath, chest laboring heavily as Kylo drew back, a cocky grin on his face. She sank into the bed, legs trembling as he stood and freed his thick cock, the tip gleaming wetly. She observed through slitted eyes as he pressed a palm to her, pulled it away covered in her juices and began to glide his hand over his cock, grunting softly. 

“On your knees on the bed,” he commanded roughly and Rey complied, pushing herself up to sit on her haunches. 

“Face away from the window,” he panted and she turned, laid her hands flat on top of her thighs as the bed dipped beneath her. Kylo pressed fluttering lips to her neck, her shoulder and guided her to an erect position, slightly raised up. He draped her arms around his neck.

“Hold on,” he demanded, bending her slightly forward at the waist. Rey made a bow like shape and watched in the mirror on the bureau across as Kylo’s eyes intently tracked her, nudging his cock between her folds. He gave her a short smack on her ass and she smiled lasciviously. He slowly pressed himself inside of her, hand dripping her waist tightly and she bit her lip, his name emerging pleadingly as he began to thrust inside of her. She wiggled back, to sit deeper on his cock but with a growl he stilled her, only his head thrusting in shallowly. Rey implored him to grow deeper as he bucked his hips against her ass.

“Don’t let go,” he ordered gruffly and she squeezed her palms together together around his neck. 

She closed her eyes, her mouth slack, unable to stop the high pitched cries from filling the room. And she heard the door open and she sobbed, fluttering her eyes to see Ben watching, his mouth agape. She felt his gaze travel over her body, linger on her bouncing breasts, and he swallowed hard.

“Rey…” he trailed off, betrayal and desire warring on his face. 

“I love you, Rey,” Kylo moaned and Rey sobbed. 

“I love you, Kylo,” she whispered. She turned her gaze to Ben, his eyes latched on her, tongue running over his lips. “I love you, Ben.” She let her need fill her eyes and as he ran a palm over the front of his trousers, Rey, unlocked her hand and beckoned him forward.

“Ben,” she entreated, her breath hitching, Kylo’s breathing hard and ragged behind her. Ben shifted his weight. “Please, Ben!” Her cries carried his feet across the room and he hesitated at the edge of the bed, staring over her at Kylo with an unreadable look on his countenance. She reached for him, hand opening and closing in the air. 

Ben drew himself up erect and seemed to reach a conclusion. She was gasping for air as he entwined his hand with her and placed one knee on the bed, unsure of what to do. 

“Do as your queen commands,” she urged huskily and he surged forward, clambering on the bed to sit on his knees in front of her. He pressed a clumsy kiss to her lips and she opened her mouth, tangling her tongue around his, the slapping sound of their skin obscene, almost drowned out by their groans. 

Ben laid a tentative hand on her breast and Kylo reached around, squeezing the other. Ben pinched a nipple and Kylo plucked the other and Rey laughed throatily, threw her head back, was dizzy, the pulsing between her legs growing fierce. Ben grew bolder, one hand spanning her rib cage, caressing her spine, gliding down to trail down to her cunt and stroked her clit. Rey keened loudly and Ben continued to fondle her, kneeling to suck on her tits. 

Rey was lost in a haze of desire aching through her body, eying Ben through narrowed eyes as he stripped her shirt off and lay flat on his belly to press his nose against her gyrating body. 

She screamed as his tongue darted out and he tasted her, dipping against her clit. 

Kylo continued to pound into her, Ben supported himself by an elbow while he licked and swirled around her clit, one hand massaging a breast, his groans reverberating through her. Her head fell forward, she was sobbing loudly, unable to catch her breath, fire blooming under her skin, desire sharp and heavy as she clenched around Kylo. He came with a loud grunt and fell back onto his shoulders, half off the bed. Rey shuddered and pushed Ben’s head away, his lips swollen and slicked with evidence of her desire. He sat up and she could see his cock straining against his pants. 

Kylo watched through slitted eyes as Rey nimbly unbuttoned Ben’s pants and reached in to grasp his cock. She slid back until she was propped up on her elbows and licked a line down his throbbing vein. Kylo swallowed hard, found his heart racing as Rey’s head bobbed up and down over his twin’s member. He wondered if his face turned as red, if he thrust his hips as hard against Rey’s jaw. With a strangled cry, Ben came and he watched Rey flinch and smirked as her throat worked. He sighed gustily and reached a hand down to smack her firm ass. Ben collapsed on to the bed and the twins shot each other meaningful looks, their heads inches apart on the pillows. 

Rey burrowed her way between them, lying on her side, clearly exhausted. Kylo’s eyes drooped as he pulled Rey against him. Ben sat up quickly and tugged the blanket over their forms, resting one hand on Rey’s thigh. And weary, sated, the three nodded off, Rey dreamily watching the fish swim lazily by, utterly uninterested in the lovers curled together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story started as a Tumblr dare. Bet I couldn't write a poly-amorous story that was believable with explicit smut. I think I meet most of these marks hmmmm? I'll take my money now, thanks. 
> 
> So many people to thank for help with this chapter:
> 
> PoorQueequeg who has taught me so much and I am undeserving of her kindness and tutelage.   
> CoraRiley who provided a very naughty gif which inspired me to Kylo and Rey's position so the Breylo could happen.   
> Link here. Definitely NSFW: http://67.media.tumblr.com/b94e13b7d721fda33856430889aa6eb0/tumblr_nighzuJuZd1s5y4eao1_500.gif
> 
> Next chapter inspired by Beyonce's Love Drought.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations and truth.   
> A little bit of sexy times. But probably not enough to whet appetites.   
> More sad Kylo feels.

Kylo woke with a start, a sharp pinging loud in the room. He flung the blankets back and threw on his pants, grabbing his shirt before starting to run to the console. He skidded to a halt, growled, jogged back to the bed, and looked down at the sleeping forms of Ben and Rey. His lips curled in a sneer before he secured the sheets over them again, running a tender knuckle down Rey’s cheek. She turned into it, murmured something softly, and Kylo’s heart shattered. 

The ping sounded again and cursing, Kylo dashed to the console, eyes rapidly reading the buttons and screens. He slid into the pilot’s seat and flipped on the additional lights. It was past midnight and the sea was dark and silent. Kylo quickly saw the problem---a herd of whales was  in front of them and the Falcon would plow right through them if he didn’t take evasive action. 

Kylo eased back on the throttle, dropping the Falcon’s speed, and began to turn the wheel and watched the prow slowly turn starboard. 

The Falcon was large but supple and responded to his commands with ease. He edged around the herd, watching with amazement tugging a smile from him as a calf nuzzled a mother whale. He corrected the Falcon’s course again but kept her at a slower speed. It was night and he didn’t want to risk plowing into a rock formation or getting tangled in a kelp forest. Han kept a chart book and notes on a table secured to the nearest bulkhead and he got up to flip through it, penciling in their course and checking Han’s notations. He raised his eyebrows when he noticed the features ahead and returned to the console to slow the Falcon even further and began to prep to surface.

Underwater volcanos were not his idea of fun at two in the morning. 

He finally shrugged on his shirt when he finished, angling the ship upward. He let her float along, scanning with the periscope to ensure no ships were in sight before he broke the water’s surface. Kylo strolled over to the small galley tucked next to the navigation room. Leia had insisted upon it when she had joined Han in touring Cryotan by sea when she first assumed the throne.  Much of the Falcon’s finery, he assumed as he prepared a pot of caf and munched on a bagel, were due to Leia. The captain’s chamber was ostentatious with a large four poster bed, silk lined walls, a desk with elegantly curved legs that he could not see Han sitting behind. 

Han. 

Kylo’s shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes, grief washing through him.  He remembered being a little boy, about four, playing in his little tucked away room in the furthest castle turret, before his tutor came back to reprimand him for some wrong, he was sure. Even at a young age, he flinched whenever certain people walked in. He learned to control the response around Leia after many sharp words and warning looks. 

He never really had to control it around Han.

That afternoon, Han came into see how he was doing, grief lining his face. He had sat next to Kylo and picked up the wooden horse and played with him, Rebels and Empire, with Kylo playing the dastardly evil Empreror. They had battled wooden figurines and tin soldiers until the room grew dark and dinner was brought in on a tray. Han had ruffled Kylo’s hair.

“Eat up, kid. You’ll need your strength, ” he had said with a rueful smile before rising from the floor and exiting the room. Kylo had always cherished that bit of kindness.  

A lone tear tracked down his cheek and he hastily brushed it away. He counted his blessings. He was alive. He had the love of a woman he adored in return. He was strong, powerful--a survivor. Rey was too. 

He was aware that mixed in with his feelings for Han was his mourning for a life he knew could never happen with Rey. He had snuck to his old cabin and retrieved Rey’s katana and clothes and had slipped through the Resistance base to find her. The moment he heard her breathy sighs inside of Ben’s tent, his heart had constricted, his ribs strangling him, and his dream of them living in a quiet house next to the sea crushed. 

He hadn’t realized how deeply entrenched that hope had been. And he took sick pleasure in the horror and desire mixed on Ben’s face when he walked in to see Kylo thrusting into her, the way Ben had cowed to her demands and crawled into their bed.  

Kylo sat at the steering console, caf in hand, idly steering the Falcon through the sea, when he heard movement behind him. 

“Good morning, Ben,” he greeted easily, although his hand tightened around his mug. Ben coughed and came to stand next to him, his face bleary and chin covered in a few days growth. Kylo ran a hand over his own stubble, curious if he looked as awful. 

Ben nodded toward the caf. “Is there more?” In response, Kylo jerked his thumb toward the galley and Ben lumbered toward it, half awake. 

“You look like shit,” Kylo said amiably as Ben strolled back in, inhaling the caf, gratitude on his face. He stuck his tongue at Kylo and sat down at the navigator’s table, gazing out at the dark sea, the star strewn sky. 

“What happened?,” he finally said after taking a long sip of caf. Kylo shifted in his seat. “You know, with...with you, and Rey and…”

“We had sex. It happens.”

“You’ve had...you’ve experienced a three partner dance before?,” Ben dragged out finally, looking at his twin with a skeptical brow. Kylo snorted. 

“I’ve done a lot of things in service of Croytan. And for Snoke. I would say I’m surprised you haven’t but then again, you never liked to share.”

“No, I don’t,” Ben snapped before exhaling heavily, his nostrils flaring slightly. “And I don’t intend on sharing Rey.”

“Ah,” Kylo said dryly. “Now there’s your problem, boyo. It’s not about what you want. It’s what she wants. And she wants the both of us.”  Ben scowled and drummed his fingers on the table. Kylo waited, took a sip of caf. He was sure of Ben’s next words but he wanted the spoiled king to speak them aloud. 

“Can you not convince her that you do not care for her?,” Ben haltingly asked and Kylo was pleased to see a flush creep up his neck, his ears turning red. 

“No,” he answered in a pleasant voice. “I cannot. I love her, Ben. And I love her for her. I don’t want to see her change for me. She is an incredible woman.” He watched Ben’s face growing redder, mingled with astonishment and decided the most surprising thing he could do was be honest with the man. He continued: “I lay awake at night, thinking how blessed I am that she deigned to return my affection, that she cares for me. How could she? I lied to her, treated her poorly in the beginning. All because I was jealous of  _ you. _ How could you, the brat prince, win her love? You hardly seem worthy.” Ben inhaled sharply at that, his eyes narrowing in anger. Kylo held up a hand and plowed on. 

“Yet she does. In some incredible way, you make her happy. And she also loves me. She doesn’t want to have to choose, Ben. We both make her happy in our own ways. We both speak to some part of her. And to ask her to choose between us would be to change what we love about her.” He finished his speech, his chest heaving and tight, and he forced himself to relax his grip on the wheel. 

After a long moment of silence, Ben spoke.

“And she said this to you?”

“Not in so many words. But she did say she was interested in pursuing a way to be with both of us.” 

“Hmmmm,” Ben humphed and returned to his caf. Kylo could read the calculating look on his twin’s face and was disgusted.

“It’s not like we are brothers, you know. We may share the same face but we aren’t related.”

“I’m aware.” 

“And we both need to change to be with her.” Ben snorted. But Kylo watched him run his tongue over his bottom lip, worry it with this teeth. Kylo allowed himself a modicum of relief. He knew the signs of Ben’s relenting.  Finally, Ben sucked in air through his teeth and gave a jerky nod. 

“Fine, you’re right.” 

“Ah, are you always so graceful in defeat?,” Kylo mocked and Ben wagged a finger at him.

“Naaah, little brother. You will need to change too, remember? Like, perhaps, no longer stealing all the blankets.”

“Well, that’s simple. Get more blankets,” Kylo retorted, a teasing glimmer in his eyes and Ben chuckled. Both men relaxed into their chairs, with Ben eventually asking why they surfaced and Kylo reviewing the chart with him. 

  
  


Rey slowly awake, her lashes heavy with sleep. She groaned and rolled over, expecting to encounter someone but finding herself alone in the huge bed. Someone had drawn the first set of gauzy curtains around the bed and the room appeared misty and vague through them. She fought with herself, relief warring with consternation, before burrowing herself under the pillow and sinking back into her drowsy state. She felt drugged almost, a soreness between her legs, her arms aching from reaching back and holding Kylo last night. She needed a good long soak and some caf, she thought, before sitting up, listening to water running in the refresher. 

Kylo walked out of the bathroom and toward her, drawing back the curtains and extending a hand.

“Good morning, Rey,” he greeted before kissing her hand. “The bath is filling up for you.” She blinked up at him, completely confused, as the cabin door opened. She turned to see Ben strolling in, a tray in his hands, and the first sharp smell of caf hit her nose. Her lips tugged upwards in a half smile and she let Kylo draw her out of the bed, Ben setting the tray on the desk. He carried the caf to her and kissed her, before pressing the mug in her hands. Kylo was busy massaging her shoulders. 

“I imagine that position last night was not the most comfortable,” he murmured before dropping a soft kiss on her shoulder. Rey was delighted; Rey was torn. She stared at them, puzzled and suspicious, before offering a brilliant smile and padding into the refresher. A large claw footed tub nestled in a corner, steam wafting off the water. Someone had mixed in milk with jasmine, she thought, inhaling the fragrant scent as she slipped in, sinking in gratefully up to her neck, and resting her head on the ledge. She allowed herself to drift, the warmth soaking her through the bones, her muscles beginning to relax. She half expected the men to follow her but they wisely kept out. She mused over their behavior, remembering the looks they had exchanged in bed last night. 

Rey ran the sponge over her legs, her arms, reveling in the modern comforts of the ship. As she tended to herself, she let her mind roam. She suspected that the men had reached some sort of truce. She wondered what it was, imagined the type of drama she might experience when she exited, and, with a sigh, ducked beneath the water. 

She found a dressing robe in watered navy blue silk with cream lining waiting for her on the bed. Rey piled her hair on her head and, wrapping the gown around her, she headed toward the console. She found it empty, and frowning, began to wander around the ship. It was large, almost two hundred feet long, with a little chambers peppered throughout the center. She found a small library tucked away and ran a curious hand over piled up correspondence. She idly picked up a letter and dropped it quickly, her cheeks stained with embarrassment. 

A love letter between Han and Leia. 

Next to the library was a dining room, opulent, she thought, and the two men sat at a table, scooping food into their mouths. They even eat the same, she thought critically, and wondered if it were palace training or something innate. Kylo was clad in his same tight black trousers and a thin black sleeveless shirt. Ben was in navy blue trousers and a white tunic with a brown vest. His pistol was strapped to his thigh and she wondered if they had been fighting. But there was no overturned furniture. 

She took the seat between them and poured herself a cup of caf. Ben forked some eggs onto her plate and Kylo slid a pancake over. She eyed them warily.

“What is this?,” she asked in a sharper voice than she attended.

“Peace, my dear,” Ben said laconically.

“You told me what you wanted. I relayed it to Ben,” Kylo said gesturing with his fork. “We are going to make it work.”

“Why?” She couldn’t help her suspicion. It had become second nature to her after so many dealings with the Organa Solos. 

“Because I love you.”

“And I love you.”

“And forcing you to pick would harm you,” Ben said warmly, picking up her hand and squeezing it tightly. “The last thing we want to do is harm you any further.” Rey looked at him through her lashes and frowned. 

“Then I want full disclosure,” she demanded.

“You’ll have it,” Kylo said promptly. After a moment, Ben nodded and Rey took a sip. She kept her face shuttered, only smiling thinly, before cutting into her pancakes. Ben was watching with her rising panic, a smirk on Kylo’s face. 

“How will this work?,” Ben asked in a faint voice. Both she and Kylo shrugged. 

“I have no idea,” she admitted. “I don’t think the answer is something like a schedule--and I know you’d like that.” Ben blew out his air and leaned back, steepling his fingers in front of him. 

“Each of our relationships is bound to be different,” Ben stated. “I have been separate from you for years now.”

“You made that decision,” Rey clarified, pointing her fork at him. “And if you think this could be a way for you to beg for more time, it doesn’t work like that. You can’t just force this into guidelines and rules and set times. 4pm tea with Kylo. 5pm, tie Rey to a bedpost and boink away. 6pm state dinner--”

Kylo interjected. “Wait, tied up? I thought that was our thing.” Rey winked salaciously and the other man laughed, Ben shifting his seat, uncomfortable with their bantering and ease with one another. 

“My relationship with Kylo has nothing to do with you. Yours with him has nothing to do with me,” she continued, eyes flashing. “However, if you go out of your way to harm him, to make his life hell, it will  _ greatly _ affect my relationship with you.”

“What if we want to share you in bed? Like last night?”

“I don’t even know how last night happened honestly.”

“Too drunk on orgasms,” Kylo toasted them both with a bubbly orange drink. Rey frowned and Kylo pressed on. “How would it look if we tried it deliberately?”

“Are you suggesting that?,” Ben asked with one arched brow. 

Kylo rolled his shoulders. “There is really only one way to find out.”

“You’re reckless,” Ben stated. Kylo grinned wickedly.

“It’s a shared trait.”

“If I may,” Rey interrupted. “Kylo is right. We could try but um,” she colored here and both men nodded sagely, interpreting her embarrassment.

“We don’t have to go all the way,” Ben assured her, surprised at his own eagerness. He longed to taste her again, to feel her shiver between his arms. This was his wife and he had moved earth and heavens for her and would do so again, he realized. Even if that meant giving up a small part of her. As he thought that, he knew it was the wrong way to think about this blooming, tentative agreement between them.

Rey swallowed hard and then stood. Kylo rose to stand next to her, taking her into his arms and kissing her soundly, Ben lightly holding her hand and flicking his tongue against the inside of her wrist. She sighed quietly as she was pressed between both men, turning to press her mouth to Ben’s, her tongue sweeping over his. Kylo’s hands roamed her body, feathery light touches that warmed her, stoking a fire in her belly. She twisted, pressed herself into his hands, her arms twined around Ben’s neck, Kylo kissing a trail between her shoulder blades and easing the dressing gown off her shoulders. 

Rey was torn between the delicious feeling spreading through her and the rising concern about the consequences of their actions. She marveled at the differences between their lips--Ben’s soft and seeking, Kylo’s urgent and yearning. As much as she was able to tell Ben what this was not supposed to be, she did not know what it was supposed to be. She did not know if she could balance her relationship with Kylo with her relationship with Ben; she was unsure of how the scales would tip. And as even now, as both men devoted their mouths and fingers to her body, she could not quite let the heady feeling overtake her. 

She needed to be in control, she knew. Her gut tightened and she recognized she had hit upon a truth. 

Rey slid between the two men, one hand sliding down Ben’s chest and the other curled around Kylo’s ass, giving him a slight squeeze. Both men groaned and Ben ran his fingers through her hair, cradling her neck. She laid the flat of their palms against their groins and discovered her hunch was correct--both men were hard and straining. With a smirk, she freed both of them and sat on her knees, stroking them both, her head moving between both, peppering kisses on the leaking heads. Ben’s grip tightening on her head and Kylo’s hand joined hers, pumping him when she was idly stroking him, focused on Ben. 

“Shall we return the favor?,” Kylo asked huskily as her mouth wrapped around him. Rey met his eyes and pulled back, gave a small shake of her head. He smiled at her, wound a strand of her hair around his hand and tugged slightly. 

“As you wish,” he whispered. He looked up to see Ben arched backwards as Rey tended to him, one hand gripping the back of a chair tightly. He wondered fleetingly if that was the kind of face he made, mouth slightly grimacing, eyes glazed over. 

Ben came first, crying out as he split on to her shoulders, Rey ignoring the mess to finish off Kylo. Ben collapsed into a chair, watching his wife kneel before another man, his hand on her head, thrusting hard into her and wondered why that spark of jealousy was not flaring to life. Why he had no need to jam his knife into Kylo’s throat. 

He wondered if his face looked the same, mouth slack in admiration and desire, eyes greedily absorbing the sight in front of him. 

He rose and went into the galley, returning with a warm wet cloth and a bowl of soapy water. Kylo was sitting on a chair, obviously sated, only opening one eye as he heard Ben enter. Rey was dabbing at the evidence of their enjoyment with a napkin, a slight look of distaste on her face. He kneeled next to her and sponged her off, her mouth splitting into a wide grin, a knowing gleam in her hazel eyes. 

“Thank you,” she said in low tones. Ben kissed her softly. 

“I should be thanking you,” he replied and she raised a quizzical brow. 

“What for?”

“For giving me another chance. For being you,” he answered earnestly and Rey blushed. His heart tittered and he was surprised at her girlishness. As he opened his mouth to speak again, an alarm sounded and Kylo dashed off, tossing a command for Ben to follow. Rey pulled her dressing gown back around her and with Ben’s hand at her back, they ran after him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your support, your kudos, and your comments! Your kind words and thoughts make me smile and give me things to think about while writing this.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consequences unfold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my kind readers, kudo givers, and commenters. Your words are precious to me and I am humbled by them. 
> 
> Thank you to PoorQueequeg for reading this, the queen of the all sex and of wonderful texts. And to Shtwlee for sending me the most delicious ideas for Rey and the two boys to get up to. 
> 
> There is sex contained herein, but lots of dialogue and, my personal favorites, angst and dread.

Rey skittered to a stop when she entered the console room, Kylo already sitting, fingers flying over the bleeping board. 

“What is it?,” Ben demanded.

“First Order ship, dead ahead. And with our lights on, it’s fair game they’ve seen us,” Kylo responded grimly. Rey’s eyes widened as light briefly flared from the First Order ship. 

“Shit! Dodge incoming fire!,” Ben shouted. Kylo’s hands moved the control and the Falcon jerked to the right. 

“Going under!”

“They’ll drop bombs!,” Ben said, grasping Rey’s waist as the Falcon swayed beneath their feet. She clutched tightly to him as the ship shuddered and a high pitched whine filled the room.

“Diving to three hundred fifty feet!”

“You’re crazy!”

“He can do it!,” Rey insisted loudly. “The ship is set up for this. I saw the engines.”

“There’s one thing you are forgetting!,” Ben exclaimed, jabbing an accusing finger at Kylo. “Han’s maps.” Kylo’s face paled even as his hands jerked the lever and the ship sank into the sea, Rey wincing from the whistling of bombs barely skimming the surface. 

“What are we forgetting?,” Rey cried. 

“Underwater volcanos,” Kylo answered even as he leaned over and killed the lights. The early dawn of the sea greeted them, still dark, the pink light barely visible as the Falcon continued its dive.

“You can’t do this without lights on!” Ben walked over and grabbed Kylo by the shoulder. Kylo growled at him. 

“If I keep the lights on, they’ll see us from the surface and drop bombs on us,” he said through gritted teeth. Rey was hanging on to the navigator’s table, skimming Han’s notes. She exclaimed loudly and pointed at a spot on the map. 

“There! An underwater cave! We’ll just wait for the First Order to pass us. Then we can hit the volcanos.”

“I’ve got a better idea,” Kylo grinned. “We’ll lose them in the volcanoes.” Ben inhaled sharply and Rey grasped the chair tightly.

“We’ll be cooked alive.”

“Things’ll get warm,” Kylo agreed with an anticipatory gleam in his eye. “But it oughta be fun.” Ben snarled softly and cuffed Kylo on the back of his head. Kylo shouted and glared up at his brother.

“That’s in case we die before I get one in,” Ben retorted, taking his seat at the other console. “You’ve got lead, Kylo.”

“I can’t even calculate the odds of us surviving,” Rey murmured. She watched, fascinated, as Kylo made a beeline toward the volcanos. She could see eerie red lights in the distance and shivered. She thought about the engines and wondered if the hot water brought in by the vents to be converted into energy would overheat the engines. She leapt to her feet and bolted to the engine room, skidding to a halt as she glanced out a starboard window. The Falcon was gliding by an underwater volcano and she laid a curious palm on the window, gasping at the heat conducted through the glass. The volcano gleamed red and orange, smoke billowing in the water. She felt a shudder rock the Falcon and, shaking her head, continued to the engine room, the dressing gown flapping around her feet. 

Sure enough, the engines were steaming and the temperature gauge was edging closer to red. Rey hissed and ran to the kitchen, grabbing a bucket by the door. She collected buckets as she went until she arrived in the galley. There was a large block of ice in a cooler and she began to hack at it, dumping large chunks into her buckets. The Falcon was vibrating hard beneath her feet and as she scurred to the room, she heard a loud howl rip through the ship. And a boom rocked the ship, tipping her to her feet and the ice sliding out of the buckets.

Kylo’s voice came over the intercom: “Near miss by the First Order. Too close. I’m going near the big one.” Rey cursed and shoved the ice into the buckets, scrambling into the engine room and staggered back, nearly bowled over by the heat. Grimacing, she charged in and dumped ice on the engine, watching it belch steam before dropping the other bucket on it. The needle wavered and began to creep away from the red. 

She knew it wouldn’t last long. 

Rey continued to run back and forth between the kitchen and the engine room, dragging heavy buckets with her and unloading the ice onto the engines. The dressing gown clung to her body with sweat and with a practical shrug, she shucked it off, moving naked between the rooms. She only paused once to look out a porthole as the Falcon drove through clouds of white, hints of fiery earth below, and she shuddered, the hull of the engine hot to the touch. 

After an hour, arms shaking from the extended position, she collapsed against a wall, dragging a hand across her forehead and scraping her hair from her face. The engines were cooler now and the water coming in was nowhere near as hot. She let out a weak laugh and closed her eyes, exhaustion overtaking her. 

Which is how Kylo found her, nude and slumped against the wall, her cheeks pink with exertion. He laid the back of his hand to her forehead and found her cool. He ran a quick gaze over the ice buckets and the open door to the kitchen. A peek showed him she had used up most of their ice. He shrugged and knelt to pick her up.

Where they would be in a few days, ice scarcity wouldn’t matter. 

He hoisted her into his arms, Rey mumbling in her sleep, and carried her gently to the bedroom, tucking her in before dimming the lights. 

 

Rey woke up to find herself enfolded in large arms, a gentle snore tickling the hair against her ear. She sat up and wondered how she got into bed, looking down at Ben, the sheet barely covering his bare chest. Piqued, Rey raised the sheet and discovered that yes, he still slept nude. Glancing out the bright window, she wondered for how long she slept. It must be in the afternoon now, she mused as she slid toward the bottom of the bed.

Grinning wickedly, realizing that she had these men to bow to her every whim, Rey laid a delicate kiss on Ben’s ankle. He twitched, his snore hitching slightly before he shifted, one leg sliding off the bed. She peppered kisses up his leg, alternating between the two before swiping her tongue against the back of his knee. He quivered and she looked up to see him rubbing his eyes. She eagerly continued to kiss his thighs, sucking the soft skin near his groin. He moaned and she ran a curious palm over his half erect cock. 

“This is the best you can do?,” she murmured and he wrapped his fingers into her hair. 

“Is that the best you can do?,” he challenged huskily and Rey grinned cheekily before taking all of him in her mouth. He moaned and arched off the bed, whimpering as she swirled her tongue around the growing head. One hand gently massaged his balls before she dipped down and ran her tongue along them, his breath growing harsh. 

“Rey, oh my darling,” he whispered thickly. “What are you doing to me?” Her only answer was to lick up his now fully erect cock, opening her mouth widely before sliding back down. He was thrusting gently into her mouth, moaning each time she bobbed her head up and down. He inched up the mattress until he was half reclining against the headboard, meeting her gaze with adoration, chest hitching as he struggled to catch his breath. 

“I’ll never deserve you, Rey,” he breathed and she sat up on her elbows.

“That’s a silly statement. We must all strive to be our best selves,” she said solemnly before circling her tongue the slit in his cock. He knew he was putty in her hands as she cupped him gently, delicately nibbling at the edge of his scrotum. 

“I love you,” he cried as he yanked her to him, pressing his lips to hers, kissing her hungrily, his tongue raking over hers as he rubbed himself against her sensitive folds. She ground down on him, one hand gripping the headboard tightly as he wiggled his hand between them, parting her and rubbing his head against her sensitive bundle of nerves. She was giggling and moaning into his mouth as he ran a slick finger down her and thrust into her. 

He gazed into her eyes, seeing the woman before him with her wise hazel eyes, a sly grin, her skin tan and glowing. He wasn’t sure if she was more beautiful now or when he first held her in his arms. Or when she came down the aisle on Luke’s arm, white and radiant, outshining even the collar of diamonds Leia had her wear. Or the first night they made love as man and wife, riding him like this, a pleasing flush to her skin, her eyes averting shyly, a hesitant smile on her face as he guided her movements. Or two days ago when she was beating soldiers into submission with only a baton, fierce, barefoot, her teeth bared. 

He thought she had always been alluring and kissed the palm of her hand, discreetly wiping a tear from his eye. 

Sweat trickled down Rey’s back as she slowly rocked herself onto Ben, breath uneven as the feeling of fullness pervaded through her. He stroked her clit as she rode him, her head thrown back, both hands squeezing the board as she brought her breasts to his mouth. He suckled, eager and greedy, kneading and rolling them, as she found her body going lax, a soft sigh sifting through her. She went limp, barely hanging on as Ben moved her for him, hands digging into her hips before he came with a loud grunt. He gathered her into his arms, kissing her forehead, and they allowed themselves to drift in their contented states, holding hands. 

  
  


Rey lifted one leg out of the water and slung it onto the edge of the tub, leaning further back into Ben’s arms. 

“Do you think,” she asked in a ponderous voice, “that if we had stayed married for longer than six weeks, our marriage would have been like this?” Ben made a hemming sound as he raked his nails delicately along her scalp. She shivered as a delicious tingle ran down her spine. 

“It’s hard to say. I think you would have become immensely unhappy as princess, then queen,” he finally said quietly. Rey stilled before asking haltingly:

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I would have continued to restrict you, sending you off to smaller openings, keeping you out of war council, perhaps only allowing you to sit in on some of the audiences. Fighting with the PM over you then coming back and maybe sniping at you. Remember that silly fight over your tea cup on the Queen Padme furniture?” Rey nodded. “The MP for Tatooine had demanded more resource for the aether infrastructure. That itself is fine but they did not tell us that it was really going for the Hutts.” Rey shivered; the Hutts were a well known criminal gang. She had seen them come through occasionally in Jakku, with Unkar bowing and scraping, his fleshy jowls quivering in fear. 

“He then made some sort of comment about how I shouldn’t be surprised because a desert rat like you was most likely fucking one of the Hutts to survive.”

“Kylo would have run him through without thinking,” Rey said quickly, blushing when she realized she had just spoken without thinking.

“Unfortunately for you, I’m not built like that,” Ben replied wryly. “I ended up restricting the funds, sending some lackey to oversee the project. And then coming and fighting with you over leaving tea trays on heirloom furniture. Because I couldn’t fight with him.”

“I would think that’s typical of marriages,” Rey eventually said, watching as Ben ran the bath sponge up and down her arm. 

“Probably. But you would have gotten sick of court and I would have eventually found a mistress.”

“You really believe that?,” she turned around, incredulous and took in Ben’s troubled face. He shrugged helplessly.

“I saw it as a possibility.” She bit her lip, staring into his eyes, an idea forming.

“You thought it was possible that Kylo would not reveal the truth and that I might sleep with him.” 

“Yes. In terms of full disclosure, I weighed the likelihood of that. I found it to be minor. But I thought,” he inhaled shakily, “I thought out of all the possible happy endings for you, Kylo could give you one. I didn’t expect to feel so jealous when he walked in with you.” 

“And what did you expect to feel?” 

Ben blew out his air forcefully, and settled down into the tub. Rey pushed herself off of him, scooting until she faced him. She grasped his ankle and began washing his leg. 

“I don’t know. Resignation? Happiness for you?” Rey leaned against the edge of the tub, careful of the candle in the corner and sat still, hands clasped together in her lap. She raised her brow and Ben continued: “I thought that if you were happy, I could be happy. I was more or less resigned to the fact that you would choose Kylo. And I was, in some ways, okay with that. Because I knew I would have to face Snoke. And I don’t want you near him.” Rey unconsciously reached up and began to play with the locket.

“Tell me about him,” she commanded. 

“What do you need to know other than you are his greatest desire.” He nodded to her necklace. “And mother gave you the arsenic.”

“You knew.” She was barely accusing him but anger began to shimmer around her.

“I suspected. The question is--are you going to tell Kylo?” She shrugged once and sank into the water up to her chin. Ben pulled her legs into his lap and watched her, her hair floating around her, thought of what a glorious queen she would have become. 

If he had just let her. 

“Yes,” she said eventually but dully. She rose from the slightly cool water and stepped out from the tub. 

“If you are going to take on Snoke, though, we need to review your alchemical attack workings,” Ben warned. “That will mean Snoke knows we are coming.” She wrapped a towel around her lithe body and piled her hair on her head, securing it with a jeweled silver clip. 

“Let him know. Perhaps it will give him time to plan his funeral.” She swept from the room and Ben thought again about what kind of queen she would have become. 

  
  


Kylo was in a practice room near the aft of the ship. Rey watched him from the doorway, clad in loose grey pants and a sleeveless cream tunic. Kylo was moving effortlessly, twirling a staff, his heavy breathing loud in the room, the staff smacking the target with loud slaps. His hair was pulled back from his face in a small bun, his muscles glistening with sweat. She could read the scars more easily on his back now, knew they were nothing compared to the scars on his heart.

Scars she had been healing slowly. 

She wondered how much damage the recent turn had done. 

She coughed and he stopped, pausing. He didn’t look at her as he walked to a small table bolted to the wall, took a long swig of water. She waited patiently until he turned, his gaze flat. 

“Have a good rest, did you?,” he asked blandly. Rey sighed and padded over toward him. She reached for him and he grabbed an arm, held it out from him. “Tell me now--was all that talk just talk? Are you going to choose to be only with Ben?”

“Why would you ask that ?” Her voice warbled, thick with hurt. 

“Because you’ve spent nearly all afternoon with him. And here, I am, yet again, getting you after him.” Rey yanked her arm back and crossed them over her chest, her expression vexed. 

“It’s timing, that’s all, Kylo!” He turned away, disgusted and she seized his bicep, pulled him back. “It is! I’ve been more honest with you than with anyone else! You’ve seen me in ways he never saw me! I am more myself with you than with him!”  Understanding dawned on his face and he shrugged out of her tight grip, stepping toward her, and hugging her to him. 

“I couldn’t see past your tenderness,” he said into her hair and Rey snuggled close to his chest, arms encircling his waist. 

“I thought you were okay with trying,” she complained, muffled by his shirt. 

“I am,” he stressed. “But you’ve just been spending so much time with him and I saw, Rey. I saw. I saw how intimate you two were yesterday. I heard you this afternoon. You were, gods I can’t describe it, you were making this noise that you never make with me. And I can  _ smell  _ him on you.” Kylo swallowed hard and Rey tightened her grip, tipping her head back to look at him, his face lost, his mouth full of regret. “I can see why anyone would be a queen, that’s all. Rather than a soldier’s mistress.”

“Is that what you think of me?” 

“No, I think of you as Rey. But if given the choice again, between me and him, who would you choose?” Rey was silent and Kylo drew in a shaky breath. He started to move away and she grabbed onto him, her features serious.

“I think I would choose myself, honestly. And whichever one of you wanted to go down that path would be my partner, my...husband, my….lover.” She gazed earnestly up at him and Kylo blew out his breath. She could feel his racing heart beneath the hand on his chest and rose on her tip toes, kissing the corner of his mouth. Kylo stepped away and wiped his eyes. He blinked at her. 

“Okay. Okay.” He collected himself and strode over to the weapons wall, selecting an odd weapon. He turned to face her. “Your training resumes now. This is called a pike and it is excellent for storming a fac---”

“You forgive me?,” she interrupted, worry etched on her brow. Kylo smiled slowly.

“I understand you, Rey, and I’m sorry for that moment of jealousy.” She gave me a small smile in return. 

“It’s alright. I kind of like it sometime,” she confessed, red blooming on each cheek before she stood up straight, clearing her throat. “But only sometimes. Not all the time.”

“Of course not,” he demurred before handing her the pike. “Back to your lesson…”

He pushed her hard, thrusting and diving, Rey learning to roll on her feet. Kylo promised to show her how to use a shield even though she wrinkled her nose and proclaimed it old fashioned. He reminded her that the old metal ones could deflect bullets and with an army of pistols aimed at her, some coverage was better than none. It devolved into an argument on tactics before they ended up on the floor, blood heated, clothes pressed aside as he moved within her, heels digging into the hard bamboo mats, her mouth seeking every bit of him. 

  
  


Their days found some sort of easy rhythm. She would spend her mornings in the library with Ben, pouring over alchemical texts, debating the best ways to attack Snoke. Her mind seized on the idea of a shield and she tinkered with some scrap metal and aether working out a way to carry a small disk that could bloom into a shield. Her mornings were full and she remembered how much she enjoyed working with Ben, his keen mind, his clear and steady hand, his insistence on the correctness of his ideas before she obliterated him. 

She would also spend some mornings spread out on the desk, Ben kissing every square inch of her.  He had taken her from behind, on the desk, against a wall, his fingers and mouth seeking ways to bring her pleasure. 

She was greedy, she knew, and she soaked in it, allowed herself, shuttered off the part of her mind that pointed out her courses were in two days. 

And still, she had no symptoms. 

Her afternoons would find her with Kylo, in the training room, honing her skills. Sometimes he would have her just run in place for an hour, lifting weights with her ankles, practicing the same move over and over again.

“You cannot rely on fear. It will empty you out. Each of these moves must be a memory and you must be strong. In the time of war, exhaustion will come quickly. Your body must be more stronger than you think, your mind more agile than you think,” he remonstrated as he moved beside her. She watched him in the long mirrored wall on one end as he mimicked her moves more thoroughly and gracefully than her. She watched as her muscles grew more toned, as her ability to outlast the timer grew.

She watched his face in the mirror as he plunged into her, into her ass, her mouth open in shock (although he had been working toward that for days now, she admitted later in the shower), pleasure and wonder fighting for dominance on his face, his fingers working her to completion. 

She was over sexed, overworked, and over taxed, she thought. 

And her courses still had not shown up. 

But neither had the nausea or the breast tenderness she had so frequently heard heralded happy news. 

She examined herself in the mirror, could see no difference. 

Just a woman in love with two men.

Privately, she could allow herself to admit that she was somewhat nervous about the whole affair. More than once she had caught Ben or Kylo sniping at one another, usually about tactics, sometimes about her. She had heard Ben tell Kylo that he could never make her truly happy, that a soldier’s mistress was a death sentence, Kylo pointing out that if Ben made her completely happy, she wouldn’t have entertained the thought of the three of them. 

In some ways, Ben understood the world better than her. 

In some ways, Kylo understood her better than she did herself. 

She was in love and she floated between elated and frustrated, her body kissed and massaged and fucked until she awoke sore every morning.

Yet still she allowed them one night to wine her, to dine her, solicitous in every way. Kylo kissing her ear, Ben massaging her breasts as they tied her to bed, Ben promising to behave as he placed a blindfold across her eyes, Kylo grinning salaciously. 

She had been in absolute agony that night, absolutely ecstasy, barely sure whose hands were touching her. She knew their lips--Ben’s sweetness, Kylo’s urgency. But their hands remained a mystery and she wasn’t sure whose fingers walked across her thigh, brushing a feather against her nipples; whose light touch ghosted over her body, separated her lower lips, slipped inside of her, whose mouth cupped her sex and made her shudder. 

It was all too much, Rey thought, as she sat on the bed, the two men snoring beside her and gazing out the porthole at the sea, inky black, with the oddest creatures attracted by the lights of the ship, pressing horrific gaping mouths and protruding eyes against the window.  

She thought of Snoke in those moments, the creeping distress overtaking her then, and her hands gripping the locket tightly. 

She thought about if she were pregnant if she could take the pill inside. 

She thought about the bomb going off in Alderaan, the lightning flash, the bodies reduced to ash as they fled the city from their underground safehouse. Her knowledge of her ability to regenerate, how she was a fire in a world of earths and airs, Luke had told her, and how she could charge any working. Too powerful, Ben had told her, in some ways, and Snoke salivated over the thought of controlling her. 

And she knew that would take the pill without hesitation. 


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They near landfall and lines are drawn between the three

Rey woke up to the grinding of the engines. The Falcon shuddered to a slow roll. Rey bolted upright, heart racing, hair flying around her and someone grabbed her arm. She looked out the window and gasped. The ocean was deep blue and the Falcon had apparently moved closer to the surface as the porthole was partially above water. And gleaming near the window was a thick white body of ice, glittering in the sun, cold and ominous and so very close to the sub. The sea seemed colder somehow, she thought, almost as if she could see lacy patterns of ice forming on the porthole. She pulled the sheets tightly to her body, intrigued, a shiver running down her spine. She brushed back her hair and looked down at the half awake Kylo. He gave her a bemused smile. 

“Iceberg,” he explained. 

“I never knew ice could be like that,” she said wondrously and he gave her a pitying look. He sat up, kissed her shoulder, and slid out of the bed. 

“Ben will need help navigating. An incident with one of these could ground us for days,” Kylo explained as he pulled on his boots. He walked over to the wardrobe and began to rummage through it. “I think this jacket and sweater will fit you.”

“Does it get that cold?,” she asked doubtfully.  He nodded.

“Below freezing,” he added before pulling out thick leggings from a drawer and sealskin lined boots. “We’ll have to gather supplies somewhere before we get to Hoth.” 

“What’s it like?” He stopped and waved his hand as if he couldn’t hear her. She repeated the question. 

“Hoth? I’ve been there a few times.  The castle itself is prepared for any type of siege--it has its own water supply and they’ve blocked most of the underground tunnels so getting in undetected is difficult. The open tunnels are booby trapped.” He paused, inhaled deeply, pain flashing over his features. “And Snoke likes to keep people away. The last time I was there, he had bodies--people he had ordered killed--mounted on the walls, on poles around the castle. A last warning you know?” Rey made a thoughtful noise and he cocked his head.

“Could be a warning system. Use my eyes type of alchemical working where you can set traps on the bodies. Their eyes remain open and you can use them as a way to see a particular area,” she offered and he gave a curt nod. She swallowed hard, wondering if Snoke had actually resorted to anything as ghastly. Alchemical workings with bodies came at a great price.

She wondered who he found to take the exchange. 

Kylo was still talking as he sorted through the wardrobe, tugging a thick grey sweater over his head, one arm dangling as he squirmed around to fit through it. He was explaining the castle’s layout and defenses and she listened with half an ear, watching a man she adored let out a small screech before thrusting his arm into the correct armhole. 

“What were you saying?,” he asked distractedly, smoothing his hair. Rey explained again why Snoke might have the bodies around the castle and Kylo nodded knowingly. 

Kylo admitted: “It’s likely. He’s incredibly paranoid. Of course, you don’t live as long as him without becoming paranoid.”

“How old is he?”

“Eighty? Ninety? He was my age when Anakin became Darth Vader. He keeps himself alive through spells, I’m sure.” Kylo turned to give her a full look, his features blank. 

Rey shifted on the bed. “Leia believes that if he captures me, he’ll use me. And breed me.” Kylo inhaled sharply through his nose, fists clenched tightly. 

“Yes, he would.”

“Can a man...can….”  She gestured helpless and Kylo snorted, shaking his head. 

“Oh, sweetheart. What a thing to focus on when I tell you the destroyer of the world wants to breed you.” Rey huffed and crossed her arms. Kylo strode across the room and sat on the bed. She noticed the nervous lines around his eyes and when he picked up her hands, they were sweaty. Her skin began to crawl. 

“He won’t sleep with you. He’ll have another man take you and then he’ll do something”--he waved his hand around--”and somehow you’ll carry his child. I don’t know how it works. He’s tried it with other girls before.” Rey let out an exclamation of horror and Kylo nodded, lips tightening. She watched his throat work as he looked for the right words. He settled on: 

“You should have stayed at home.” 

They were not the right words, Rey thought, as rage tore through her. She was tired of being a pawn, of something to protect. “You’ve spent weeks training me to be a fighter, to be strong and tactical! You can’t keep me locked away forever!” 

“No, but I can try! Rey, can’t you see how dangerous it is for you? He’s anxious for you. He dreams about you.” 

“So what would our plan be?,” Rey shot back, jerking her hand away from him. “Run from place to place, never settling down, until we either die or outlive him?” Kylo huffed loudly and hunched over. She pressed her lips together. 

“It would be better than you dead,” he said at least in a dull voice. “But I understand why you want to fight him. I just know how he thinks about you.” 

“How can you know?,” she demanded fiercely and Kylo shuddered. 

“Do you really want to hear this?,” he asked darkly and her heart trembling, she swallowed hard and gave a short nod. “Word of your marriage arrived at Uthos while we prepared for war. One night, Snoke had me find a woman--brunette, slim--had me tie her to his bed. He called her Rey as he worked terrible things on her. Her body contorted until her limbs broke, her face pinched and purple. He remade her, resculpted her body into….into…..” He couldn’t finish, his voice was growing thicker, his lashes heavy with tears. Rey laid a hand on his knee. 

“And all the while he would croon your name. Rey, Rey. When I find you, you will know such happiness, my sweet. Rey, Rey. I long for you.” Coldness gripped Rey tightly, choking her, squeezing frosty fingers around her throat and she felt nausea swirling around her. She flung the sheet back and raced to the fresher, heaving over the toilet. She was unaware Kylo came after her until she felt a cool cloth press to her head, her hair gathered back for her. She vaguely pushed him away before leaning back against the tub. Kylo kneeled. 

“You’re pregnant,” he stated. She let her suddenly heavy eyes close and did not respond.. He swore and she waited, tensing up. She thought he would follow it up with the inevitable paternity question. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he wordlessly gathered her in his arms and carried her to the bed, tucking her in like a child and drawing the curtains, promising to return with some broth. He returned twenty minutes later with a steaming cup of soup and some tea. She was going to allow herself to sleep, he stated, pointing out she hadn’t had one in a long time. She did not respond by saying that he had not slept for more than three hours at a time since they left the house in the swamp.

She thought that meant maybe their relationship was improving. 

Kylo kissed her forehead and promised to return later.  Rey snuggled down into the warm bed, watching out the floor length window as the Falcon glided by large and stately icebergs. In that moment, drowsy and belly uncertain, sure that she was loved by two men who would fight beside her, she allowed herself to nod off as white whales dipped and twirled in front of the window. 

Kylo found her stretched out in the bed a few hours later, Ben behind him. The king lay the back of his palm to Rey’s forehead, frowning, before tugging the sheets she had kicked off back over her slender frame. 

“Whose is it, do you think?,” Ben asked quietly. Kylo shrugged. 

“Probably both of ours. We couldn’t get her pregnant before,” he pointed out realistically and Ben shuddered. He had thought occasionally about being a father, about Rey’s belly big with his child. The future heir of Croytan, the future Skywalker. 

He didn’t know if he could share that with Kylo. He knew legally he couldn’t. He chewed his lip thoughtfully, political mind warring with glowing pride and creeping fear. Kylo sighed and shifted his weight. 

“I’m not going quietly, you know,” he said. “You can’t just go back to Cryotan and expect me to disappear.”

“I didn’t say that,” Ben replied quickly.

“No, but you’re wondering how it will work out. Could the child possibly look like I did before Luke did whatever he did? Could it have your devious mind or my terrible morals? And how will you escape the rumor that it is your twin if one suddenly appeared at court? How would we all know it is yours and not this mysterious twin’s child?,” Kylo’s voice was mocking as he neatly summed up Ben’s thoughts. His twin suppressed the shiver tracking up his spine. Kylo understood him too well.

“What to do with you when we return has been heavy on my mind, yes,” was all he said. “But getting rid of you has not been option that I have considered.”

“Only because you’re paid assassins aren’t around,” Kylo retorted, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Ben sighed exasperatedly. 

“I don’t have assassins,” he pointed out and Kylo raised on elegant brow. “Okay, but what monarch doesn’t?”

“You lie too much. I wonder if you know what is the truth.”

“I wonder if you understand how truth can affect people and not just the ones you are lying to,” Ben said bitterly through gritted teeth. Kylo huffed and crossed the room to sit at the desk, attention on the seals splashing near an iceberg. They would near the Taiga soon and would need to continue overland, he thought idly, running through the items they would need for the trip. Ben was watching Rey sleep, every feature tender, and Kylo wondered if this was the true Ben, the one underneath all the layers. He hated but understood political intrigue. The battlefield made more sense to him, Kylo thought, then knowing the right word to say at the right time. How to twist meanings. 

He preferred to twist wrists. 

He sighed plaintively and Ben looked over. 

“What is it, little brother?”

“I could be her bodyguard. I could wear the mask,” Kylo offered. Ben pursed his lips.

“A male bodyguard is unusual.”

“Yes but I saved her life, so you awarded me the position. I could resurrect some version of the Knights of Ren. You will need an elite corps to squash any of those loyal to Uthos and Snoke. Don’t trust your courtiers upon your return,” Kylo warned and Ben nodded.

“After the war comes the snakes,” he murmured to himself, brushing back a lock of Rey’s hair. She made a soft noise and rolled over to her side. “Do you know how to be father, Kylo?”

“No--do you?”

“No, and I’m terrified.” Kylo weighed that admission, wondered how true it was. He stood up and placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. 

“We will have each other,” he stated firmly. “And try to love the little thing, will you? Not treat him like a tool?” Ben gave him a playful shove and Kylo stuck out his tongue as he headed back to the console room. 

  
  


The next morning Rey felt better and was standing on top of the submarine, near the hatch, bundled in layers, her fingers encapsulated in gloves, a hood tight around her head. Ben hadn’t wanted her to go up, concerned about the baby, but she had brushed aside. The Falcon was out of the water and Ben was guiding her slowly through the increasing amount of icebergs. Rey gazed rapturously at the large white mountains floating stately in the glassy water. The air was brisk on her face and she turned at the clattering behind, frowning as Kylo leapt up on the sub, fishing poles and other gear around him. 

“What are you doing?”

“Icebergs great for fishing,” he said around a mouthful of food. She grimaced and looked away. She was still not entirely comfortable with food. She clung onto the sub’s rail as it neared a large iceberg, flat with one sharp peak that was hollow in the middle. 

“Ben is taking us awfully close,” she observed and Kylo grinned.

“I know! I asked him to. Hold on!” And he jumped in the air a few times before dashing forward and leaping across the distance between the sub and the iceberg. A strangled cry escaped Rey as he landed, tucking into a roll before standing and pumping his fists in the air. 

“Now you try!,” he cried gleefully. Rey gazed aghast before excitement overtook her. Kylo shook off the fishing equipment and held out his arms. She heard Ben shout her name as she sailed over the gap between the sea and the ice, her feet slipping on the edge before Kylo snatched her forearms and pulled her deeper onto the slippery slope. She was laughing, glancing over her shoulder to see Ben standing, shivering, with his arms crossed.

“Get your coat and come on!,” she called.

“Kylo! Be careful of her! She’s now jumping for two!,” Ben snarled before disappearing below the hatch. Kylo groaned.

“Oh no, he’s going to be the mother in law of the group,” he grumbled. Rey giggled and Kylo peered into her face. “You’re alright, yes?” 

“If I wasn’t, I’d tell you,” she assured him. He shook his head and pulled the hood tighter around her face, buttoning the jacket under her chin before he handed her a pole and a bucket. He picked up a saw, axe, and drill that he had tossed over earlier. 

Kylo immediately set to setting up fishing lines. Rey contemplated joining him as he slid along the slick surface but dropped the fishing pole and gingerly made her way across the flat surface of the berg to the peak in the middle. She grabbed the edge, marveled at how salty and fishy it smelled before looking up at the cavern. The large peak had a cavern straight through it, the ice rippled and clear blue. Rey glanced around before taking a cautious step, her foot sliding from underneath her. She grappled at the wall, gloves scrabbling for purchase as she fell to one knee. 

Rey’s breath was a mist in front of her face as she slowly got up and edged down the cavern to the bright light at the end. Her foot started to slip again and a strong arm caught her shoulders. She gave Ben a grateful smile.

“Why aren’t you falling?,” she demanded without heat. In reply, Ben lifted his feet and she knelt to examine the shoes with little metal spikes sticking out of them. She scrunched her face up and Ben laughed, holding her arm as they walked toward the other end of the iceberg. 

“How are you feeling?,” Ben inquired. Rey shrugged.

“Alright. Still not hungry.”

“But you must eat. For now, you are eating for two,” he reproved and Rey rolled her eyes. Ben stopped to face her. “I can leave you in the Taiga, Rey. It might be safer that way.”

“I will not live the life of a coward,” she countered. 

“Is it a cowardice? You are carrying the future king or queen. It cannot be just about you anymore,” he retorted sharply. Rey looked away, pressing back the guilt that weighted on her with his words. 

“This is a way of thinking no one likes,” Ben continued. “It’s why you almost rejected me. Things cannot be just about me or for me. Marrying you was a risk already”--she turned around, her mouth open in protest and he held a hand up--”and one I would gladly take again. I love you, Rey. But when you agreed to marry me, you agreed to being a queen someday. And all that entails. And that can mean sacrificing your wants, your needs, even your beliefs, for the greater good.” 

“I can help you beat Snoke. You need me!,” she said fiercely, hands in fists at her side. Ben reached across to pull her hood more tightly around her face, her cheeks pink and chapped from the chilled air.

“Yes, I do. But not for Snoke. I want to kill him myself,” he replied quietly, his voice threaded with an anger she had not perceived. “He has taken my home from me. He killed my father. Luke is in exile because of him and mother--she became someone else when the war became worse. I barely recognize her sometimes. He’s murdered my people, tortured them and you--for all that he would do to you? He deserves a slow and torturous death.” Rey stood still, stunned by Ben’s words. She had not thought him capable of vengeance. 

“Vengeance can blind you,” was all she said. Ben swallowed hard, his skin flushed. 

“I am aware. But promise me, Rey. Promise me that if it looks too dangerous, that you will stay back. That you will be our future, our sun, our queen.” And he knelt to one knee, bowing his head. “That you will be the liege that I could not be.” She covered her mouth as tears began to spill down her face and she grabbed his shoulders, wrapped her arms around him.

“I promise,” she whispered into his jacket and he hugged her tightly.  Rey moved away, sniffling slightly, wiping at the tears sticking to her cheeks. She noticed Ben’s eyes were red as well and they both smiled at one another, briefly, an understanding. 

She laced her fingers through his and they continued down the slope to the edge. Rey let out a small exclamation when they arrived at the end--a sheer edge down to a turquoise blue pool below. 

“The iceberg is melting,” Ben explained. “This is the freshwater mixed with the salt.”

“It’s beautiful,” she murmured in awe, her gaze sweeping over the curved cove, the small pool, and the icebergs surrounding them. She noticed small bits of mist above the water between the bergs and was about to ask Ben what they were when out of the water jumped a whale. Black with white spots, sleek, and fast. Ben’s grip tightened. 

“What is it?,” she asked hurriedly. 

“Killer whales. We gotta get Kylo,” Ben replied tightly, turning to pull her after him. Her feet skated beneath her as he rushed toward Kylo, bellowing his name. They slid out of the cavern as Kylo turned toward them, confused. He had drilled a hole through the berg and had his pole poised over it. Rey screamed as a whale burst through the hole, chuffed out mist, and then sank below the waves. Kylo’s pole fell in after it and Rey skidded to a stop by him. Kylo seemed unfazed, chuckling over the pole. 

“Must be seal nearby. Good food,” he said without preamble.

“It’s a killer whale!,” Rey insisted. Kylo snorted. 

“To us. It has other names. It only eats seals and other animals. We don’t taste good,” he replied dismissively and leaned over the hole. Rey shoved her fist against her face, expecting to see the whale lunge up again and take Kylo down with him. 

But nothing happened and Kylo rocked back onto his heels, ordering Ben to chop off ice blocks to use in the Falcon’s galley for food storage. As he was speaking, a whale popped up again, wheezing again and sinking below. Rey’s eyes widened as she watched other whales do the same, Kylo laughing and complaining that whale breath was fishy. 

It was marvelous, Rey thought, aware that she was experiencing something that others did not. That perhaps no other queen of Croytan did before--or would again. 

She helped load the Falcon with Kylo’s caught fish and the ice Ben had cut.  

“We arrive at the Taiga in two days,” Ben informed her as he headed down the hatch. Rey declined to join him, choosing instead to watch the early sunset from on top of the Falcon as she glided through the glassy sea, killer whales racing alongside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched way too many documentaries on the Arctic and Antarctica to write this chapter. I cannot write the ocean. It is so beautiful, so crisp and glassy one moment, and volatile, dark and churning, flecked with white, the next. If you have Netflix, I recommend: The Frozen Planet (h/t to PQ for the suggestion!), Planet Earth, and the Blue Planet. The Making of Frozen Planet is also really interesting and funny. The BBC actually sent a team of cameraman into a volcano. I hope they got hazard pay. 
> 
> Killer whales, or orcas, got the moniker killer whale as it is the English translation of ballena asesina. The Spaniards named them that (Assassin whale) because of how viciously they would attach other whales. In Frozen Planet, you can see how they would drive under a growler (a small bit of an iceberg) together to wash it over with waves and knock a seal into the water. Orcas are found in Arctic and Antarctic waters. 
> 
> The white whale mentioned here is, in fact, not Moby Dick but beluga whales who are commonly found in the Arctic ocean. 
> 
> I did so much reading on icebergs. Ask me iceberg questions! I got facts! Here's one that will win you Jeopardy: tabular ice bergs are simple flat icebergs, most often from Antarctica. The one Rey and friends play on here is a non-tabular iceberg. 
> 
> The name of the place they are going, the Taiga, is actually the name of a forest encircling the world--through most of Russia, Canada, and Alaska, just under the umbrella of the Arctic Circle. It sounds fairly alien so I decided to steal it. (It's actually Russian so if you want more of that, check out The Girl on the Stairs!)


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey takes on Snoke in the Taiga.   
> EXPLICIT CONTENT FOR BREYLO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay folks, here are some warnings:  
> EXPLICIT CONTENT  
> This is your LAST SEX SCENE in this fic. If you are only here for the sex, thank you for your time, I won't see you for the denouement. Mad props to PoorQueequeg for helping me with this scene--yes, this is the DP scene and will win me my damn bet. Hello Starbucks gift card. And a billion thanks to Shwtlee who sent me gif after gif to help me see what I exactly I needed to do.

The Taiga was a small town, nestled around a cove, raw, brittle, and smelling of fish. Ben had gone ashore, haggling with store owners for clothing and provisions. Rey watched from the Falcon and laid a protective hand on her belly, wondering how long it would take to get to Hoth by foot. How pregnant she would be by the time she arrived and how much harder the walk would be as she tired more easily than usual. 

She shouldn’t have worried, she realized, as Ben rode up to the dock, standing on a sled driven by eight dogs. Another team ran by behind him, pulled by a rope from Ben’s waist to the lead dogs. She raised a brow as he stalked up the ladder and thrust a bundle at her. 

“Get warmer,” was all he said before he went down below. 

Kylo piloted the Falcon to another fjord, several miles north of Taiga, Ben following behind on his sled from the shoreline. Rey packed what she could as they waited, slipping on the silk stockings underneath the deer hide pants, rabbit fur lined gloves, a very thick downy jacket with a fur lined hood. He hid the Falcon in an alcove, underneath an overhang, while Rey gingerly walked across the solid sea ice to land. 

They packed her onto a sled, covering her with deer and bison hides, the cold biting through her gloves. With a hearty “mush!” Ben pushed off, the sled jolting her as they began to move inland, Kylo taking the second team. 

The dogs were rugged in thick grey and white fur, muscles straining as they pulled the sled through the thick snow. The tall trees with spindly needles began to surround them and Rey felt as if they were watching her, could have sworn one tilted down to look at them. That first night, as the men made camp, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she whirled around, knife halfway out of her boot before she realized there was nothing. Only nerves, she told herself, even as she ventured into the gloomy wood to find a branch. She found one as long as her and  hefted it to feel its weight before whittling it down into a staff. One of the dogs whined and cocked its head, slithering into the tent next to her. 

She felt safer. 

That night she also watched ribbons of green streaking across the sky and wondered what kind of magic Snoke was practicing if this is how it affected this world. Ben told her that Taiga and Hoth had not always been snowbound, not every day of the year, until Snoke had arrived. Now it was locked in perpetual winter and she could see death in the grey and sickly trees, thin animals pacing at the edge of the camp, with Kylo threatening them off with a gun or a flaming branch. 

She buried into the blankets as the sleds raced northward. It was colder than she had ever imagined, ice gathering on her lashes, her lips chapped. Kylo gave her a tub of whale fat, told her to rub it on her cheeks and lips. She had refused the first day, had been all too eager the next. At least it smelled nice, she thought as she smeared it all over her face, not too fishy with a hint of rosemary. 

She watched bison running from a two determined wolves, her heart racing as Ben and Kylo slowly drew the sled dogs away, Kylo’s gun aimed carefully at the wolves in case they came too near. As did the bear the one night, skulking, painfully thin, snuffling around the edges, the dogs’ hackles raised and the growls building until Kylo fired twice into the animal. 

“Good meat,” was all he would say. 

They traveled like this for a over a week until they came to a wooden cabin near the edge of the forest. Behind it was a sea covered in solid ice until Snoke’s island, to Hoth itself. Kylo checked out the cabin, assured them it looked unused and Ben stoked up a fire before bringing her inside. She took in the worn walls, still snug and warm inside, cobwebs lurking in the corner, the potbelly stove grey from disuse. An old hunting cabin, Kylo mused, no longer in use with the game gone.  

They were all too careful of her delicate condition, she thought bemused, as they hastily cleaned the cabin and almost carried her to the chair. She wondered if she would argue with them but decided to reserve her strength. 

Kylo took his team and rode on ahead to test the sea ice while Ben was out chopping firewood. Rey stared at the fire, relieved to be out of her thick clothes for a bit, fingers playing with the locket. She was lost in the dancing of the flames when she felt the beginnings of her skin stiffening and realized with horror that Snoke had traps all around Hoth, even before it, and he was sniffing her out now.

His mind touched hers and she fell. 

Rey eyed Snoke across the blank space--grey without features. He was tall, spindly, his face caved in on one side, power emanating from every cell.

But she had power too, she thought, allowing her repressed self to re-emerge, to let her power flow down to her fingers, her legs, to flash in her eyes. She felt herself grow warmer and a greedy smile cracked Snoke’s cadaverous face. 

“You are power itself, my dear,” he crooned smokily and Rey tossed her head. 

“You had the trees watch us,” she said haughtily. “And I imagine this cabin is yours too?”

“Everything from the Taiga to my castle belongs to me. So I can see intruders like you,” Snoke hissed. “And prevent them from coming.”

“You won’t stop us,” she challenged fiercely and Snoke cackled, raised one hand. A pictured bloomed above them, Kylo riding on the sled, his face grim with determination, the dogs yipping encouragement at one another. 

“I won’t?” And he waved a hand. Rey cried out as the ice cracked beneath Kylo who leapt off the sled, the waves lapping where his feet used to be. The dogs began to whine, nails scratching as the sled dragged them down. Kylo swore as the ice continued to crack beneath him, whipping out his sword to cut at cords tying the dogs to the sled, jumping around as the ice broke up beneath him, steam rising as a fog to enclose him, blind him. 

Rey snarled and closed her eyes, using the sapphire ring to scratch out the alchemy circle in the air around her, imagining the ice reknitting itself around them. Snoke struggled, tried to keep his control but Rey could see his workings, could see the red threads pulsating around the ice, around Kylo and sliced through them, rebinding Kylo with her will, golden power wrapping around him. 

The ice solidified and Kylo looked around dazed as Rey opened her eyes. Snoke was grinning gleefully as the image faded above his head.

“And without a real circle. You are the powerhouse he promised,” he whispered, his voice as dry as rustling leaves. 

“Who is the he?,” she demanded and Snoke chortled. 

“You’ll find out soon. I look forward to finally having you,” he said and Rey waved her hand, cutting off the power tying her to the in between place. She sat up from the chair, covered in sweat. She blew out her air and popped off the sapphire ring, using it to sketch a quick ring on the ground, stepping into it for protection. With a little thyme and salt, she allowed herself to see the spells wound tight around the cabin and began to countermand them. After an hour, she broke the circle and stepped out, exhausted, legs trembling and collapsed into the chair.  She had not used her power for so long that extended use had drained her. This thought worried her as sleep began to overtake her. 

Ben found her half asleep and sweaty, the fire low in the grate. He let out an exclamation, hands running over her face, her belly, demanding to know if she was alright. She tiredly explained what happened and Ben paced the room, half crazed, wondering what he should do. 

“The cabin is safe now,” she said in a low voice. “But Snoke is sending a storm. Kylo is still out there. Go get him.”

“But Rey--” and she cut him off.

“I held him off before. I can do it again,” she interjected. “The more I use my powers, the stronger I become, Ben. Now go! Get Kylo!” He gave a jerky nod and ran out the door. Rey heard the dogs run by, barking and snarling, before she rose from the chair and worked to secure the defenses of the cabin as she heard the wind rattling at the windows and the door. 

“You won’t get me here,” she muttered darkly and began to work to bend the trees and the snow to her will. 

She ate some deer jerky, drank a canteen of water, made the bed in the back room, beating dusty sheets clean. And she waited, her hands unconsciously clutching her belly. She had not been sick since that first morning but her stomach was occasionally queasy. It twisted and ached now, fear gnawing between her ribs. 

She was pacing rapidly in the small cabin, her hand rubbing the back of the neck, the wind growing louder, whistling in the chimney. She occupied herself with cleaning an old pot with snow and making tea to sip from using battered tin cups. It was growing darker now and she worried her lip between her teeth, hoped that Ben and Kylo were okay.

She was about to give up and go out for them when she heard the yips and whines of dogs. She threw open the door and ushered them in, Kylo’s face wan and tight. She bundled him into the chair, offering him some warm tea while Ben wiped each dog down before they padded over to the fire and began to pile together. 

“You saved me,” Kylo said without preamble. “On the ice. I felt you.” She cleared her throat and took a seat in the rickety chair across from him. 

“Snoke has been watching our progress. He owns this forest’s very soul,” she explained. “He was taking measure of my power, that’s all. I’m sorry you were caught in the middle.” 

“Caught in the middle,” Kylo echoed. “Oh yes, your victim as you two battle it out!”

“It wasn’t like that!,” she insisted, dimly aware that Ben had moved to stand behind her. 

“Do you see the things he will make you do if he has you?,” Kylo wheezed, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulder. 

“Do you not feel the power now? I cleaned this cabin, turned the power to mine,” she jeered. “The trees, the animals, this very cabin, all belong to me. I have broken Snoke’s workings and replaced them with mine. If he tries again--with either people or alchemy--we will be alerted.”

“And the baby?,” Ben asked quietly. 

“Fine,” Rey answered curtly. Kylo huffed and flung off the blanket, grabbing the iron to poke at the fire. 

“This is a crazy plan,” was all he said before he stood up and began to strip off of his wet things. 

“You weren’t opposed to it before,” Rey pointed out before he turned and glared at her. 

“You weren’t pregnant before! I had no idea Snoke’s power spread this far before! Things change!,” he snarled before flinging his shirt on the ground. He stalked across the room in his barefeet into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him. Rey started after him--and Ben stopped her with a hand on her wrist. 

“Let him be. He had a scare. He needs some time to adjust,” he requested and bent down to pick up Kylo’s clothes. Rey watched him hang them on lines that she had strung by the fire and he added his clothes to the pile until they both sat in front of the fire in thin leggings and shirts.  They spent an hour discussing the alchemical workings, Ben drawing his own circle to reinforce hers with his.  

As he brushed the circle apart, he crouched on his knees, looking up at her. 

“You’ve used your power. After years of silence. They’ll come looking for you.” 

“Yes, they will,” she said cryptically, turning her head as she heard the door creak open and Kylo shuffled back into the room. Ben stood. Kylo rubbed at his eyes and looked halfway embarrassed. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I just, as the ice cracked, all I could think about was if I died--how could I be a father or a husband?”

“Well, one of those roles is taken,” Ben jibbed good naturedly. Rey rose to link her arms around Kylo’s neck, pull him to her and hugged him tightly. She held him silently for a few moments. 

“You are my husband,” she stated. “You both are. I don’t care about the laws. I think whatever we have goes beyond them, that the laws just can’t understand them. I refuse to give either of you up.” She cradled Kylo’s face in her hands, brushed her lips against his. “Take me to bed. Both of you.” She saw the look exchanged by the two men and pressed her lips together tightly. She knew they had been careful of one another, rarely taking her to bed together, limbs never touching, embarrassed when they accidentally grazed one another. She had become used to Ben’s tenderness in the study, Kylo’s hunger in the training room. 

But she wanted them both now, needed the press of their bodies against her. Needed that security, to let the desire wash through her. To let them know that she was here in this very moment with them both, that Snoke was too far away to touch them. 

“Please?,” she whispered, her voice hoarse, her eyes wide, on the knife’s edge of pleading. The men gazed at one another and Ben inhaled deeply. Looking back at her, Kylo nodded and bent slightly to scoop her into his arms. He kissed the tip of her upturned nose, her chin, her cheeks as he carried her to the large bed in the other room, Ben trailing behind. 

The room was dim, a pot belly black stove crouched in the corner pumping heat into the room, the small oil lamp by the bed the only light. Rey listened to ice spitting against the window, the panting of the dogs, the wind creaking through the trees as Kylo lay her down onto the bed. 

He sat beside her and squeezed her hand. She felt the bed dip and looked over to see Ben sidle next to her on the mattress. He picked up her other hand, pressed his lips to her knuckles.

“We’re yours,” he said simply. 

“And I’m always yours,” she answered, sitting up to kiss Ben deeply while twining one arm around Kylo’s neck. She pulled back, breathless, before Kylo claimed her. Ben began to nuzzle her neck, his breath hot on her skin, his hands gliding down her back, scooping up her tunic. Rey felt feverish as she turned away from Kylo to nibble at Ben’s plump bottom lip. She felt Kylo’s fingers brush against Ben’s and flinch. She almost froze, afraid they would stop, before Kylo picked up Ben’s work of removing her clothing. 

They took their time that evening, slowly stripping off shirts, Ben’s muscles thick and corded in the dim light, Kylo’s back riddled with scars as he lay on his belly, Rey sensitively massaging his shoulders. He groaned slightly and she lay on top of him, using all of her weight to work out a knot. Her nipples brushed against his bare skin and she felt the tingling grow in her belly, spreading further as Ben slipped behind her, his hands moving slowly against her back, rubbing circles, odd patterns between her ribs and spine. Her need for them both grew and as she shifted her weight off Kylo, she felt how her pants clinged to her, how wet she was between her legs.

Her cheeks warmed with embarrassment and Ben chuckled in a knowing masculine way, cupping her chin to pull her face to his, kissing her soundly, almost as if he wanted to devour her, his hands trailing down to palm her breasts. She whimpered, a pulsing beginning between her thighs and she felt Kylo at her back, kissing her ribs, nudging her knees apart. She glanced down to see him on his back, sliding between her legs as she knelt on the bed with Ben. 

Rey explored Ben’s shoulders, his back with her hands, squeezing his bicep gently, a wicked grin on his face as he crushed her to his chest, his lips fierce, his tongue demanding as he teased her lips apart, tasted her again. She gasped as Kylo pressed his face into the apex of her thighs, his tongue damp, a heavy heat against her trousers and she wiggled down on him, pulling back from Ben to plant kisses along his chest. She swirled her tongue around his nipples, his eyes falling closed in relief, his long fingers carding through her hair and pulling out her buns. 

She licked his skin to the edge of his trousers, dipping one finger and running it under the band as Kylo’s hand dug into her hips, pulling her body onto his mouth. She whined piteously, rocking on his face, needing him to fully touch her. His teasing caused her heart to beat unsteadily, her need growing frantic, as one hand gently caressed her ass. 

Ben lifted her off of Kylo and onto the bed, sliding down to help her wiggle out of her trousers as Kylo’s mouth descended onto hers. She was drowning, she thought dimly, lust and tenderness overriding her common sense as she wrapped her legs around Ben’s shoulders, one hand pressing him down to her aching cunt, the other arm entwined around Kylo’s neck as she nibbled his collarbone, his stubble rubbing her skin raw from kissing every inch of her face. 

Ben’s tongue dipped and swirled against her delicate flesh and she moaned loudly, before she was swallowed again by Kylo’s seeking lips. Ben spread her cunt apart, tasting her carefully as if savoring a delicacy before her bucking hips and fraught cries spurred him onward, one finger sliding into her velvety wetness as he licked her clit, let his teeth graze against the edge of it. 

Kylo abandoned Rey’s swollen lips for her breasts, content to suck on each nipple and watch her face as she lay back onto the sheets, ecstasy in her closed eyes, her mouth an O of surprise as she shook beneath the ministrations of both men, a flush spreading across her cheeks. 

Kylo felt a twinge of jealousy as he turned his head, caught the image of his twin’s mouth buried into Rey, working his fingers inside of her, Rey rocking her hips onto Ben’s tongue. He wanted to taste her, to feel her quiver beneath his lips and slid off the bed, shimmying out of his trousers. Rey watched with pleasure glazed eyes as he knelt next to her, gently gliding his cock across her lips. 

Rey reared up and grasped him, running one thumb over the top of his cock before tasting him tentatively. He inhaled harshly, her wet mouth taking him in one quick slurp and he moved to sit behind her. She ran her tongue languidly down his long length to the little dip between his cock and his balls before suckling each ball gently into her mouth. Kylo knew he was loud at that point, gripping the sheets tightly. He felt her tremor, gasping loudly and clutching his thigh, as she rode her pleasure long and hard. Ben propped himself up on an elbow, pleased as he wiped her off his chin, sucked on his fingers. Kylo felt his jealousy flare again and forced himself to push it aside. 

Tonight was about comfort. 

“Oh how can I have both of you?,” Rey wondered distractedly, pushing her mussed hair back from her face. Kylo looked up at Ben who paused for a moment, weighing his options. Then he nodded and Kylo cleared his throat.

“Trust us?,” he whispered. 

“Always,” came the hushed reply. And with that, Kylo laid back on the bed, pulling Rey across him until she sat on his cock, her soaking lips causing him to quake beneath her. He wanted to plunge inside of her, ride her hard, watch her pert tits bounce as she crashed around him. 

But tonight is about her, he reminded himself as Ben moved behind Rey, his legs brushing against Kylo’s. Kylo tensed up for a moment and Ben shot him a warning look. 

“Just relax,” he soothed and Kylo wasn’t sure if it was directed at him or Rey. 

He contented himself with palming Rey’s breasts, soft and supple beneath his large hands, grinning back at the bemused expression on her face. Ben had taken his own cock in his hand, his breath coming in short grunts and Rey leaned back, twined her arm around his neck, kissing him deeply. Ben took his pre cum and pressed it between her ass cheeks, working her drenched pussy to draw some of her own wet to slick a passage for him in her tight bum. She made soft little noises as he worked and Kylo drank in the image of her long neck curved away, her lithe body golden in the dim light, her skin flushed with desire.

He wondered if this was how kings felt when they conquered nations. 

Ben looked over at him, licked his lips, and gave a vague nod. Kylo tugged Rey down on him, running his tongue along her bottom lip, and began to thrust against her, dragging the length of him against her soaked folds. She was moaning, a graceless thing in that moment as he nudged her entrance. When she gave a small keening noise of need, he thrust himself inside of her, gripping her hips roughly, choking out how tight and wet she felt sheathed around him. And at that same moment, Ben was working his fingers inside of her, searching for the pleasure center, and using one palm to spread her ass cheeks apart. Rey’s mouth opened in surprise and she sat up abruptly before settling around the two men. She seemed pleased but embarrassed, her lashes fluttering against her cheeks. 

Kylo shallowly thrusted inside of her, letting her find her rhythm, pulling out as Ben plunged into her ass, Rey’s mewling above them. He kept his hands loose, his breathing shallow and his head lolling back onto the pillows. 

He heard Ben hissing and looked up to see him moving behind Rey, his fingers grazing Kylo’s as he held Rey to him, slowly sliding inside of her, moving as shallowly as Kylo was. His breath burned in his throat as Rey’s cries grew hoarser, her body leaning over his, one hand gripping the headboard so hard he swore he heard it crack. 

She was sitting fully on him and he could feel Ben gently moving inside of her. Ben paused and swallowed, his adam’s apple visibly bobbing in the low light. 

“I love you,” Rey throatily said, seemingly directed up at the ceiling, her head thrown back. Kylo waited with bated breath, wanting nothing more than to appease the need building inside of him. Rey began to move, Ben and Kylo with her, riding his cock as Ben pressed himself between her ass cheeks. The obscene sounds of slapping skin, slick and fast melded with harsh breathing, Rey’s moans, Kylo unsure if that was him crying out or Ben. 

They clung onto one another that dark night as snow piled up against the side of the cabin, as wolves prowled the edge, desperately seeking a way to break Rey’s bonds. She flung her power out when she crested over again and again, her body filled to the brim with their need for her, their desire, her power strengthening her workings again and again, the earth shaking and green sprouts pressed through the soil, struggling for light. 

Kylo felt her clench around him erratically, went over the edge with her, felt Ben shudder behind him and they collapsed into one another, sweaty and out of breath. Kylo wondered if the world was different in that moment, the air warmer and brighter than before. He brushed it away as the workings of a depraved mind. 

Ben rolled off first, pulling Rey onto the mattress next to him, each struggling to remember how to inhale again.  Kylo curled over on his side, presenting his back to both of them and he heard Ben exhale through his nose. 

Knew his brother understood the trust in this offering. 

He sat up and pulled the blankets over them, Ben getting out to stoke the fire in the stove. Rey was drowsy, almost asleep when the brothers crawled back into bed, Ben rubbing her belly as he drifted off to sleep, Kylo listening intently outside before he finally allowed himself to rest. 

 

Rey woke up by her skin tingling, as if a limb had fallen asleep. An alarm sounded in her mind as she felt a tugging from her belly to the front door and quietly, carefully, slid out between the two men. She tasted the power rolling her way and snorted before slipping on her leggings, tunic and long woolen sweater. She stoked the fire in the front room, found the grains, and prepared oatmeal, slicing in the last of the shriveled apples. The crawling feeling intensified until her skin itched, the dogs pacing and pawing at the door. Rey bundled herself more fully into deerskin pants, coat, fur lined boots and let the dogs out, the sun too distant in these midnight lands. The pink and green ribbons flickered overhead as Rey watched the dogs frolic in the snow. 

And eyed the brown hooded figure tramped up the hill to their cabin. Rey’s hand tightened on her staff as the the figure stopped by the cabin, breath misting in his face. 

“Good morning, Luke,” Rey greeted coolly. “I’ve been waiting for you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that is right, her orgasms bring life back to Taiga. 
> 
> Quick note--the Taiga is in fact a region encircling the Arctic; it is not permanent winter but it sounded so wonderful that I had to steal it for its alien qualities. And Bakura was supposed to be like St Croix or one of the US Virgin Islands so I'm just ripping my geography from this lovely planet of ours. 
> 
> Next up: Death, death, death, and death. I did warn you.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all my lovely readers! I appreciate you so much! ::throws out calorie free non fattening totally organic but delicious candy to all readers::

Rey flung her coat over the line by the fire, collected Luke’s while offering him a chair. He sat uneasily, his beard long and stringy, the hollows in his cheeks so prominent that she could see bone ridges, his skin so papery she could trace the veins clearly through them. She dished up a bowl of oatmeal, sure to add the last of their precious cream for fat, and placed it in front of him. He stared at it in confusion, his fingers too frail to lift a spoon.

Rey sighed, settled down next to him and slowly spooned oatmeal into his mouth, catching the bits that dribbled out of his slow moving lips. She fed him two full bowls that way, watching the light come back into his eyes, the lines spidering out around them.

“Rey,” he haltingly gasped and she nodded.

“Luke,” she greeted quietly and poured them both cups of caf. Luke grasped the cup loosely, staring at it as if he were afraid it wasn’t real. She reached out to lay a hand on his knobby wrist. He bored holes into her with his intense gaze and he inhaled deeply, drawing himself up straight.

“It seems then, that Snoke has let me go.”

“I’m glad you said that rather than you escaped,” Rey responded dryly and Luke smiled bracingly.

“Look at me, Rey. I’m not even sure how I get here…” he trailed off and Rey waved her hand around him, her sapphire ring sparking.

“Snoke put a working on you. Step into the circle and I’ll finish removing most of it,” she promised, standing up to redraw her circle from earlier. After she was done, she watched Luke gingerly gather a sprig of thyme and tuck it into a pocket. As they sat down at the table again, the bedroom door and opened and Kylo stepped out, rubbing his face, his eyes bleary. He froze when he saw Luke and shot Rey a warning glance. Luke stared back blankly and breathed in sharply when Ben stepped around Kylo, confusion on every feature.

“Uncle Luke?,” he asked cautiously.

“It's safe now,” Rey stated calmly. “I’ve removed Snoke’s compulsions on him and the rest of the workings.”

“Kylo. Ben,” Luke stammered. “I didn’t think you two were together.”

“What do you last remember?,” Kylo barked, his back ramrod straight. Ben strolled around him and poured himself a cup of caf. Luke looked between the two men and at Rey, wonder in his eyes. She meet his gaze evenly and with a little humph, he looked at his nephew and began to speak.

“I was looking for a spellbook. It was said to have a spell to defeat the ultimate evil. A massive spell that would require a great circle and a great working but it could contain Snoke, neutralize him.”

“Why neutralize him when you can kill him?,” Ben asked carefully.

“You can’t kill him. He’s taking so many lives into his own that he’ll live forever,” Kylo answered coolly, arms folded across his chest as he watched the small group from his post by the fire.

“It’s true,” Luke said ruefully. “It’s part of the reason why he wants Rey. He can only prolong his life a little bit with each one he takes. But Rey stores energy, regenerates. He would love to dissect her and find out why.”

“How did you get captured?,” Kylo demanded, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Luke seemed to shrink into himself.

“I heard the book was located in the ruins of a library in Dagobah. I went there and was too blind to the obvious signs of a trap. I got caught in a statis circle, trapped for I don’t know how long until Snoke’s men came and took me to Hoth. I’ve been here for over a year now. Snoke liked to keep me in the dungeons, trot me out to potential allies and torture me in front of them. The great Luke Skywalker, destroyer of Emperor Palpatine, defeated.” His voice was laced with bitterness and Rey patted his hand.

“None of us expected Snoke,” she said kindly and Ben snorted.

“That’s the problem. We’ll defeat him now but who will rise in his place?”

“Like the Emperor. We defeated him and spent years squashing all of his generals and grand moffs,” Kylo chimed in.

Luke laughed mockingly. “You will defeat him? So confident, are you?”

“You never even tried,” Ben snarled. “He trapped you and held you. There’s no way you can compare what he did to you to what we are doing.”

“He knows you are are here. That’s why he released me.”

“A warning,” Kylo interpreted dryly. But Ben had turned to Rey, eyes narrow as he looked at her.

“How did you find him?”

“I was waiting for him.” Kylo’s mouth dropped open and his hand went automatically to his side where his sword should have been. He growled and grabbed it from the wall before beginning to prowl along the cabin’s windows, surveying the land outside.

“And how did you know he would be coming?,” Ben asked, the shock barely apparent on his face.

“Easy. Snoke said someone had told him about me. Only a few of us knew about my particular abilities. We had not heard from Luke for a while. And when Kylo told me about the corpses around the palace...that’s Luke all the way. He theorized doing something like that with scarecrows and corpse eyes back at university.”  Ben hemmed at that, taking a sip of cool caf. Rey twisted in her seat to look at Luke, his face drawn.

“Luke, you need to rest. Let me take you to bed,” she said, standing and offering her arm. She tucked him in, pulling the door tight behind her before crouching down and drawing a large circle of silence, beckoning the two men to join her before muttering her hands, joining with Ben to let his magic flavor hers, and close the circle.

“I don’t quite trust him,” she said by way of explanation. Kylo and Ben both nodded.

“No telling what Snoke did to his mind.”

“I wonder what this working is that he is talking about,” Ben said offhandedly.

“It’s probably the binding of Darth Revan,” she said slowly. Ben bit his lip and looked between them, confused.

“Ok, Revan was a great fighter but alchemy?”

“Excellent at it,” Ben interjected. “Used it all the time. It’s why we use his writings in textbooks. His and his wife’s,Bastila Shan, pushed alchemy to its limits during their time. This working, it was said, could be used to contain a large power.”

“It can harm the users, though,” Rey added. “Look what happened to him.”

“We do have four of us,” Ben pointed out, sweeping his hand to indicate the three of them. Kylo frowned and planted his hands on his hips.

“My power is weak.” His frown deepened as Rey and Ben exchanged meaningful glances. “What?”

“I suspect, but haven’t been able to prove, that Rey can enhance any one user’s ability to tap into the aether. And since she is bonded to you on an emotional level, it might be easier,” Ben said slowly, rubbing his jaw as he spoke. Kylo growled softly.

“This sounds dangerous, for the both of us.”

“There’s only one way to find out,” Rey offered with a tremulous smile.

“We would need to redraw this circle. Contain whatever you’re doing in this one,” Ben added hastily. Quickly they went to work with Rey sketching out a circle of magnification within the silence and protection circles Ben drew.She drew Kylo into the innermost one, closing it with briefly muttered words and a drop of her blood. Ben closed the other two, standing just inside them, eyes wary. She placed an aether gem, a sliver really, on each of her palms, bound by thin golden strands to her fingers.

“Why do you need those?,” Kylo asked tightly.

“Because this is not a simple working. I need to amplify my ability to touch the aether. Now, give me your hands,” Rey instructed flatly. Hesitantly, Kylo laid his hands on hers and she flipped them over, palms up. “This is just like an aether reading.” She closed her eyes, reached deep within herself for that well of power that bloomed to life with the taste of the aether gems. She reached out to the aether around her, gathered it around like a cloud and pressed it through Kylo’s palms, whispered to it to let her taste him. A metallic tang filled her mouth, stuck to her throat.

“Aether is our fifth element, Kylo,” she said hoarsely. “It exists besides air, earth, fire, water. We each carry one of these elements stronger than the other and the aether binds to it.”

“I do not have it,” he responded thickly. She smiled and saw the cool flickering green light within him and her nostrils filled with the clean sweet smell of mint.

“You do,” she urged. “You just need to trust yourself. Kylo Ren, he of the North, of the sword. I know why you came to me in the heat and the wet.”

“Air,” Ben breathed. “He is aligned with air.” Rey reached deep within Kylo, letting him overwhelm her senses until she was floating in his coolness. She coaxed the flame deep within him, deeply banked, unaware of itself. She let herself disperse across him, her essence creeping into every crevice, the fire reach reach reaching for her until it became a roaring fire, ravenous and sweeping through Kylo, and--

Rey was flung out of the circle, a deep boom reverberating throughout the cabin. She smacked into the wall, her head flinging back with a snap and she slid to the floor. She dimly heard a door open and Ben crying out before she slipped into darkness. Her last thought was how brightly Kylo glowed.

 

“Is she awake yet?,” came an earnest voice. Rey tried to grab onto it, to cry, yes, yes she was awake but still she drowned in darkness, a her body heavy and unresponsive. She struggled, she withered under pain radiating through her. She slipped back into the dark, retreating, retreating.

 

Rey woke up to find the room completely dark, not even a candle. She was alone in the bed and could hear the wind howling outside. The windows had been shuttered completely and she slowly rose up from the bed, her head groggy. She swayed as she got to her feet, groping in the dark, fumbling along the wall until she found the door and opened it to see two men asleep in chairs by the fire and one dark figure looking out a window. Kylo quickly looked over and rushed to her, gathering her in his arms.

“What time is it?,” she asked. He kissed her forehead.

“Late,” was all he said. “Are you hungry?” She nodded faintly and he half carried her to the table. She watched him busy himself around the room, the gentle snores of Luke competing with the snapping in the fireplace.

“What happened?,” she asked as he placed a steaming bowl of stew in front of her.

“You brought my power back--quite spectacularly,” he explained. “But none of us knew that it would kick you out and it did, pretty strongly. You have a concussion. How do you feel?”

“Weak and a little dizzy,” she admitted, blowing on the spoon before taking a tentative sip of the spicy broth. She felt herself grow stronger with each bite and was shoveling the stew into her mouth, Kylo watching bemused.

“Well not bad enough to miss food,” he remarked wryly.

“Never miss a meal. That’s my motto,” she chirped brightly as she wiped her mouth. She tilted her head thoughtfully and winced at the sharp pain. “I was the exchange. My power for yours.”

“How is your power?”,” Kylo asked cautiously. Rey settled into the chair, a shiver running down her spine as she closed her eyes and reached for the wellspring deep within her. Her fire bloomed hot and bright and a wide smile spread across her face.

“I’m fine.” And she heard Kylo inhale sharply. “What?”

“No wonder Snoke wants you so badly,” he said cryptically. She gazed at him before sweeping it over Luke and Ben. She nibbled on the bottom of her lip and Kylo cocked his head. “What are you thinking?”

“Darth Revan’s working. I’ve read about what it was supposed to do. I think….I think I can re-create it,” she confessed, blushing. He sat up straighter.

“What would it take?”

“All four of us. I’m fire, you’re air, Ben is earth. Luke is water. We are all the elements. We would need vetiver, sulfur, mint, fir. But that would be to enhance. I would need to figure out the circle itself.”

“Rey,” came a cracked voice near the fire. She licked her lips and turned to look at Luke. “What you are proposing is dangerous. It’s untested.”

“As a final resort,” she soothed. “We need a combination of alchemy and firepower to take down Snoke. But in case we need to…”

“What would the exchange be?,” Kylo asked thoughtfully. Rey swallowed hard.

“Either one bit of each of our minds or--”

“One of ours completely. We would need a sacrifice,” Luke cut in disgustedly. They sat silently, Rey and Luke locked in a battle of wills. Ben snored softly and shifted in his seat.

“I’d be willing to sacrifice myself for Rey,” Kylo said quietly but firmly. Rey’s head whipped around to stare at him.

Her voice creaked with emotion as she stretched out her hand to him. “Kylo…”

“I’m a soldier, Rey. I know what I signed up for,” was all he would say, standing up and moving away from her reach. “Now, it’s late. I suggest we all turn in and sleep on it.” He stalked back into the bedroom and Rey let him, lost in thought. She looked up at Luke who sighed deeply.

“As a last resort,” he grumbled. “But it’s cutting it close Rey. To the darker side of alchemy. To take a mind, even a willing one…”

“I understand,” she said jerkily, unsteadily rising to her feet and following Kylo into the bedroom. He was on his side, back to the door, and her temper cooled. He trusted that she would follow. She slid into the bed next to him, burying her face into his hair, curling herself around his broad back as the wind rattled the windows.

 

Rey, Ben, and Luke spent the next two days locked in fierce debate over how to draw the circle as Kylo sharpened weapons, primed guns, packed food. He tried not to worry about the thinning snow around the cabin, the green sprouts poking through the snow. He took hope in this, figured it meant Snoke was losing his grip. But he wondered how they would make it across if the sea ice was too thin.

Kylo used one of the sleds to build a makeshift cot for Luke who seemed to prefer the dogs to them anyways. He figured they were more straightforward after being locked up in dungeon for months at a time. Luke’s eyes had widened when he had stumbled in on Kylo, Ben, and Rey snuggled next to one another in the bedroom. He had withdrawn, muttering something about confused succession lines but had said not a word to any of them. Kylo took it to heart that it meant they could carve out a future--assuming there was one--after this. Ben had bleakly said Luke was more accepting than Leia.

Dawn arrived, cold and brisk. They were all silent, suddenly reluctant to leave the cabin. Except for Kylo. This was his life. This is what he lived for. The anticipation for battle sang in his blood and he repressed the need to race around the cabin. Instead, he settled for making sure all the sleds were prepared, that Rey, Ben, and Luke were outfitted carefully for all that they might need and triple checked alchemical supplies.

“Help an old man, would you, Kylo?,” Luke requested softly. He had grown stronger over the last few days, a healthy flush to his cheeks. It would take weeks to get the fat on him, Kylo knew, but a steady diet and quiet nights of sleep had done wonders. He bundled Luke onto a sled, handing him a pistol and aether gems.

“Fire first, think later,” he ordered and Luke chuckled.

“Isn’t that what got you into this mess?,” he asked. Kylo snorted and rose, stopping when Luke grabbed his wrist.

“Whose child is she carrying?,” he asked coolly, in a low tone. Kylo merely raised a brow.

“Don’t worry, Luke. It’ll look like Ben so it hardly matters.”

“It does matter. Because your magic was wild, uncontained. There wasn’t a lot of it. Absorbing some of Ben’s tamed your ability to connect to the aether. It’s why you have so much trouble.”

“What’s wrong with being wild?”

“Anakin was wild. It’s why he was so powerful. He learned to channel it. He had an affinity for more than one element. So did you.” Kylo began to grow angry.

“So by turning me into Ben’s little copy, you made it so I could have only one.”

“It is an unfortunate accident,” the older man admitted. “If I could reverse it, I would.”

“Perhaps Rey can and that’s why you kept me away from her,” he snarled, yanking his wrist back.

“Perhaps she can,” Luke replied evenly, gazing steadily at Kylo. Kylo snorted and walked away, choosing to pilot the other sled.

“Let’s roll!,” Kylo shouted. Rey pulled a blanket over her legs and Ben stepped onto the sled runners behind Luke. With a whistle, they began their journey to the sea over thinning snow, birds singing in the air around them.   


They crossed the sea with little incident, although Rey joined Kylo in voicing concern over the deep cracks that were beginning to appear in the ice. She pleaded with them to leave the dogs on the shoreline and Kylo relented after informing them both it was several miles to Snoke’s castle. Both she and Luke nodded eagerly and she watched Luke as he ran his hand over each dog’s head, murmuring to them.

The climb to the castle was not steep but long, Rey thought grimly, as sweat began to pool at the base of her spine. Luke, despite his weakness, was hiking behind her, his breath even, his eyes narrowed to slits. She was reaching out to test for Snoke’s power, aware here that the snow was deeper, the air colder than by her cabin. The cloud cover was thick, a high mist blocking most of their view as they scrambled over boulders and fell into deep drifts.

“Stop,” Kylo’s low voice commanded. She froze and watched as the mist parted around them to reveal a rocky hard ice covered field. With spikes. Dozens and dozens of spikes stuck through bodies, driven into the ground. The bodies were preserved, lifeless eyes staring at nothing.

Until all of a sudden, all the heads shifted and looked directly at her.

Rey shivered, feeling the buzzing of a hundred insects on her skin.

Snoke’s power.

“I can see you, little girl,” came a voice, grey and vaporous, over the hills. Kylo’s hand went to his sword but Rey raised her hand.

“We cannot fight him with swords,” she ordered. A chuckle vibrated the air around them.

“So beautiful, so wise. I await you in my home, in your home.” The air shook around them and Rey could feel icy fingers gripping her throat. She fought through the fog in her mind, against the idea that she would lose and found she could breath again.

She immediately dropped to her knees, pulled out the magnetic chalk, and began to draw a complicated circle, lines crossing one another, symbols in between lines. Kylo was pacing, his sword out, and Ben watched in growing horror.

“What is that?,” he asked, pointing to the west of them. Kylo sucked in his breath and Luke sagged.

“Snoke’s army of death,” he supplied grimly.

“What?,” Ben asked.

“They are dead,” Kylo said shortly. “So even if you cut them down, they’ll keep coming.”

“Is there a way to kill them?,” Ben demanded in a high voice.

“No,” Rey added. “But they can be turned to our cause.”

“They defile the earth with their very presence,” Luke got out. Rey eyed him thoughtfully and stepped into her circle, taking her knife and slicing her palm. Ben shielded his eyes as her circle flared, a flash of gold in a grey world, wind whipping around her. She began to chant, her eyes dark, her pupils blown wide and Luke gasped. He pointed upward and Ben turned to see the bodies on the stakes. They were surrounded in golden light, each body bathed in brightness, fingers twitching. Ben turned to look at the other army emerging through the fog, grey skin dropping off their faces, bones gleaming through, mouths snapping. He stepped back, hand going to his pistol. Kylo snorted.

“Little good that’ll do.” The army walked forward, feet dragging along the hard ground.

“Zombies,” Luke whispered. “The working comes from Nzambi. Zombies.”

“A fetish working,” Ben murmured.

“And Snoke has the prisoners who bodies pay the price,” Luke added. He began to draw a circle of amplification around himself. A low moan filled the air as the zombies entered the field.

“They aren’t the only ones we need to worry about,” Kylo said grimly, pointed toward shadowy figures in the woods to the east. Ben looked over, startled, but stopped. The bodies on the poles were sliding down, reaching up to break their poles in half. They were clawing the poles out of the ground, snapping them off before twisting around to face the other army. He looked at Rey, her face tight and golden.

“Now, fight!,” Rey ordered, her clear voice ringing over the field.

“By the Maker!,” Kylo exclaimed. “You’ve made us an army.”

“Of the undead,” Luke remarked grimacing. “It’s dark, Rey.” She did not answer, only commanded her troops to march and to engage the oncoming battalion.

“Less talking more fighting!,” Kylo snapped. “Here come the live troops!” Kylo raced toward him, his sword slicing and whirling through the air, Ben joining in with a cry. Rey closed her eyes, focusing on her troops, on using their eyes to see the bonds between the army of corpses and Snoke. Luke was right; this was a defilement. She needed to restore the balance. The universe loathed corruption.

Her army crashed into Snoke’s, undead hands grappling at each other. They were silent, voices dead in their throats, arms ripped off, heads twisted to the side. But still the bodies came. Rey squeezed her eyes shut, sweat sliding down her face as she gathered all of Snoke’s bonds in her mind. She waved her hand, cutting the threads, a dozen bodies falling still, the ground eagerly gobbling them up into graves where they belonged.

A sigh swept through the field.

Just then, a blast rocked the troops and brought her to her knees. Rey cursed herself, forgetting to draw a circle of protection. Luke pulled out his sword and raised a hand, mumbling words. She gaped in surprise as he seemed to twist the air around him, a cyclone of water forming and rushing through the air to toss soldiers up against trees, to drown them.

“Family magic,” was all Luke got out between heaving breaths. Another bomb went off and he went down, his face white and Rey ground her teeth in anger. With a scream, she sliced through all the bonds at once, the earth buckling underneath them as it reached for the corpse army, her repossessed bodies. The earth spit out the stakes, heaving them into the air. Rey screamed for Kylo and Ben to watch out as the wood cut through the air, slamming into bodies.

“You need to cleanse,” Luke wheezed and Rey nodded, closing her eyes to the violence around her. She could still hear Kylo and Ben yelling, the sound of swords cleaving flesh, and her stomach twisted. She cupped her belly, could feel life twinging inside of her and allowed her natural fire to spill through, out her fingertips, into her circle. The fire roared, rising up to protect her. She could feel the heat on her face as she commanded it to destroy the rot. With a scream, the flames leapt out of the circle, devouring all the corruption, the stakes, the bodies, the snow clinging to tree in the middle of summer.

And with a rush, with a cleaving motion of her hands, the fire was gone.

All that remained was a blackened field, tree skeletons dotting the edges and a clear path to Snoke’s castle.

“Let’s go,” Rey ordered grimly rising for her knees and wiping her circle away. She offered a hand to Luke as Kylo and Ben rushed over.

“If you think that scared Soke, you have another thing coming. You’ve only whet his appetite,” Kylo stated forebodingly. Rey bared her teeth at him.

“Good. Because I’ve only just begun.”

She marched toward the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zombie is a West African word. I took nzambi from the Kongo word for god. 
> 
> This chapter is later than expected due to internet outage at my home. Neighbors cut through an entire street of wires cutting their own asphalt. Good times. The last two chapters are drafted so we will finish this week. 
> 
> Please let me know any lingering questions you may have here or message me at Tumblr at HausCrashBurn. The ask box has been turned off due to some unpleasantness but you can message or leave questions here.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Snoke meet.

Their feet crunched over the melting snow as they strode toward the castle, squat, grey, and imposing. Rey’s gaze swept over the square building, the outer walls lined with men aiming flaming arrows. 

“There’s cannons and aether bomb projector in the inner bailey,” Kylo murmured as he marched along next to her. 

“I can neutralize the bomb if I can get to it,” Ben stated. 

“They won’t just let us walk through the gate,” Kylo snarled and Luke held up a wavering hand. 

“The river,” he said hoarsely and Rey nodded once. 

“Yes. Can you…”

“I’ll ask,” Luke answered and added two more slivers of aether gems to his golden gem carrier spidered across his hands. The blue gems winked in the light of the afternoon sun and Rey realized that the the clouds were gone. The sun was shining weakly down on them--the first she had seen in ages. 

Ben caught her wonderment and placed a hand on her arm. 

“You’re breaking Snoke’s magic. The earth is on our side. She’s been trapped under his enchantments for years and you started to break them. She will aide us in defeating this corruption.” Rey shrugged his hand off and gave a jerk of her chin to indicate she heard him. She was watching Luke close a complicated circle, all thin triangles bisected by sharp lines. He closed his eyes and began to mutter under his breath, the circle beginning to glow a pale blue.  Rey was so engrossed in Luke’s working that she did not see the arrow flying toward her. It pierced her arm and she yelped. 

Kylo was at her side instantly, pulling her back. 

“We have to protect Luke!,” she insisted.  Kylo yelled at Ben to draw a protection bubble around the older man as he moved Rey out of the line of fire.  He knelt beside her. 

“You’re lucky it was just your arm!,” he growled at her before breaking the shaft. Rey let out a shriek as wave of pain washed through her, her sword arm throbbing. “Good thing I taught you to fight left handed.” He poured some brandy over the protruding arrow and she screamed again as he tried to wrap it. He shook his head.

“It’s a nasty one, Rey. I’d need to cut around to pull it out.”

“I’ll fight through it,” she ground out. Kylo blew out his breath and looked over his shoulder at the burning arrows raining down, Luke and Ben encased in a bubble. It was only a short amount of time before Snoke blew through that bubble--that or one of his alchemists. 

“What’s Luke doing?”

“Just watch,” Rey grumbled as she stood, wincing in pain. She cradled her arm to her side, every moment sending red hot flames of pain lancing through her. She briefly wondered if the arrows were poisoned; she was afraid to ask, she realized, and kept her mouth closed. 

Flames flickered around the arrows as they landed around them, reaching for anything to eat, and with a snarl, Rey waved her hand in a sharp movement. The flames spluttered out. 

“Enough!” she cried while Luke shouted something indecipherable at the sky. Kylo gasped as the castle shook and screams were heard from over the castle walls. He went down to one knee, the ground cracking beneath him, steam gushing into the sky. The vents glowed an ominous red. Rey yanked him away, cursing as the steam blew too close, nearly scalding her. 

“Is he trying to kill us?!,” Kylo hollered at her and she shook her head, tendrils of hair streaming back from her face. 

“No! He’s freeing the water Snoke trapped! This whole island used to be underwater!” 

“Are we going to drown?!” Kylo’s eyes were wide. Rey shrugged.

“Maybe!” Kylo cursed and plodded toward Luke, gingerly stepping over steamy seams, head down as he navigated toward Luke. 

“Luke! You gotta stop! You’re going to sink us all!” Kylo shouted, the earth quivering beneath his feet. He saw Ben close his eyes, muttering something, completely lost in whatever he was doing. Kylo swore loudly, jerking his sword out as a small group of soldiers made their way through the crumbling earth. He raced toward them, leaping over vents, his sword slashing quickly, metal clanging against metal. The figures were ghostly in the steam, lit only by the earth’s heat below. 

He cried out as a fist crashed into his knee and he twisted, lashing out with his sword butt to slam into a throat. He saw a sword swinging down toward him and realized he would be too late to stop it. He inhaled sharply--and then a katana slid through the air, braking the sword. 

Rey whimpered, her arm straining with the effort. She bared her teeth at the soldier and planted her foot in his chest, pushing him back. She and Kylo placed their backs to one another, circling slowly, feinting with their swords. 

The swords shrieked, sparks flying, as they struck out at Snoke's men. Lightning began to dance around them, forking in the sky. 

“It’s Snoke!,” Kylo told her over the rising wind. Rey pushed back her apprehension and stabbed another man. They seemed to be doing well, she thought. 

Until the riflemen showed up. Two dozen with gleaming black guns. 

Rey cursed and clenched her fist, reaching back to grab Kylo’s hand. 

“Join with me!,” she yelled and he gave her a confused look. Rey closed her eyes and Kylo howled at her as a circle of protection flared into place around them. Her aether gems pulsed brightly and Rey saw Kylo’s cool affinity for air, the burning fire within her. She muttered under her breath as she merged them together and shoved the power toward the riflemen.

She heard their screams as the guns exploded in their hands, as they tipped back into the gaping rips in the earth. She felt a dark pleasure ripple through her at the combined power and she swallowed it back, reminded herself to feel guilty later. 

Silence surrounded them for a moment and Rey pushed her hair back from her face. 

At that moment, water burst through the outer walls, ripping them apart, stones and bodies rolling toward them in waves. Kylo grabbed her hand and dashed toward the treeline. The waves roared behind them, flecking them with water, close to their heels. 

“We’re never going to make it!,” Rey cried. Kylo jerked her closer to him and whisked his hand. They began to rise in the air, feet treading on nothing, soaring into the sky. 

“We’re flying!,” Rey exclaimed in astonishment. Lightning flashed and thunder shook the forest around them. Kylo’s hands were clammy with effort. 

“No it’s amplified running. Grab onto that tree!” He pushed her into a trunk, hands shoving up as she scrambled for a purchase. He slid below her, clutching tightly as a wave washed over him, bending the trunk back. Rey screeched and turned around. 

“Keep going!,” he yelled. Rey clung onto the tree, knees digging into the scaly trunk, fingers gripping tightly onto the skinny branches. 

A moment later, it was quiet again except for men screaming as they fell into the gaping holes in the ground. Rey turned her head and watched Ben slice through the air with his hands and close the rents in the earth’s surface, trapping the men underneath. She gasped softly, astonished by his viciousness. 

And by Luke’s.

All of this, all of these workings, she knew, were dark. She pressed her lips together and looked down at Kylo, swearing about his wet pants. 

“Warm yourself,” she called down to him. “Imagine the air around you is warmer, is taking the wet from your clothes. Imagine water droplets flowing off you and into the air around you.” He shook his head stubbornly and she snapped back at him. “You just flew through the air. You can do it!” Kylo sighed and dropped to the ground, closing his eyes. Rey climbed down the tree, wincing as the arrow dug into her arm, and eyed Kylo as his brow furrowed. She raised her hand and pressed it near him, envisioning flames eating up the cool around him. Steam began to rise off his clothes and his shivering slowed, pink flushing his skin. She lowered her hand and turned to see Luke and Ben splashing through the ankle deep water toward them. 

“I never knew you had that in you,” she remarked offhandedly to them as they paused in front of her. Ben’s eyes were alight with determination and Luke looked tired. He pointed a finger at her arm. 

“Hold still,” he said, lightly drawing a circle around the arrow. Rey cried out and bit her hand as pain radiated in waves. She screamed as something inside her pushed the arrow out, scraping her skin as it worked backward. She nearly fell to her knees, sagging into Ben’s waiting arms, as the arrow fell to the ground. Luke bent to pick it up, eyeing it before rubbing her blood off and burning the rag. Ben hastily wrapped her injury to staunch the flow and Rey glared at Luke. 

“Where did you learn that?” 

“Old Skywalker trick,” was all he would say and both Kylo and Ben’s heads snapped to look at him. He winked and turned toward the ruin of Snoke’s castle. Ben wrapped his arm around Rey’s waist and helped her walked to the ruin of a drawbridge, no longer needed as Ben’s working had filled in the moat. Where an icy river had circle, now lay a mountain of mud. Rey blinked rapidly as she watched green shoots sprout up, petals unfurling. 

“She just needed help,” Ben murmured in her ear. Rey tugged her arm away and straightened her spine. She would not face Snoke crawling along with Ben’s support. 

The corridors were gloomy, bits of light poking through holes made by Luke’s rushing water. Water pooled in the middle of hallways. Old tapestries hung on the walls filled with fantastical creatures ripping apart warriors. Rey shuddered and wondered how anyone could find peace living here. 

A few soldiers darted around corners to attack them. Kylo would made short work of them, his sword flashing briefly before bodies fell to the ground. 

“No wonder you were made the master of the knights of Ren,” Ben remarked wryly and Kylo shrugged. 

“I’ve always understood that I would need to fight for scraps,” he answered candidly and both Ben and Luke had the good grace to look down. 

Rey stopped, swaying lightly, one hand bracing against the flaking grey wall. Ben was immediately next to her, asking about the baby and she waved him away, choking out that the baby was fine. But Snoke, Snoke’s power, sickly and cloying, was drawing her, clinging to her. She couldn’t explain its presence on her skin like spider webs, how it tightened her throat. Her hand immediately went to the locket and she briefly thought about it, knew she would need to die before Snoke could turn her into a walking corpse. 

“Breathe. If you can’t face your fears, you can’t go into that room,” Luke said sternly. 

“You should talk,” Rey pointed out, her breath alarming short in her ears. He smiled faintly and she warmed to him, saw the old Luke in that quirk of lips. She held out her hand and he took it, drawing her along the corridors to massive oak doors at the end, lined in brass. One hung off its hinges and Ben raised his brows. 

“Effective, uncle Luke.” 

“When I go to war, I take no prisoners,” Luke replied gamely and stepped through the doors. Rey let go of his hand to clutch her staff tightly, taking comfort in the grainy wood against her sweating palms. She bit her lip as she took in the ruined throne room, water stained tapestries, the carpet squelching under their feet. 

And at the far end of the room, sitting on a lone plain throne, lounged a tall man with broad shoulders and thick black hair. Rey gasped and Kylo Ren--Ben Solo--raised his head. He was clad in old fashioned garments, black tights and a navy blue overcoat. 

“I figured this would please you more, my dear,” Snoke oozed and Rey pushed back the bile in her throat. A cracking sound filled the room and she watched a rose bush spring up next to her, roses bursting into a bloom, a riot of colors. 

She sneered and Snoke chuckled. 

“Do you not prefer this form? Your current state”--and his gaze darted to her belly--”would indicate otherwise.” Kylo moved next to her, looming over her. His sword flashed and he hacked the rose bush to bits. Snoke raised a raven colored brow, disdain on every line. He looked exactly like Ben Solo in that moment and terror raked its fingers down Rey’s spine. 

“Utterly lacking in grace, Kylo. I would have thought Rey would have brought you into your power now. In fact, I swore I sensed it not a few days before.”

“You know nothing about me!,” Kylo shot back, hackles raised and Snoke chuckled darkly. 

“I do, dear boy. Or did you forget all of our lovely times together. I doubt Ayla did not.” He regally raised a hand and a door opened to the side. Kylo let out a strangled gasp as a shade of the women he loved shambled into the room. 

“Kylo,” she moaned, her eyes filmed over. A clump of hair fell from her head and a sob escaped Kylo. Rey lay a hand on his shaking shoulders. Snoke clucked his tongue in dismay. 

“Pity. I had hoped for her to be in a better shape by your arrival but you took so long, Kylo. And Rey, sweet Rey, has been draining my power since she arrived.” He cast a sly look at her, a smirk on his lips. “I can only imagine our future together.”

“I have no future with you!,” Rey shouted at him, a catch in her voice. Snoke chortled. 

“Of course you do. Luke here is a broken man. Oh how he howls at night. Prefer the dogs do you, Skywalker? Your own kind at last. At least your reek isn’t as noticeable.” He wrinkled his aristocratic nose, a parody of Kylo’s disdain. His cultured voice ringed painfully in the hollow halls and Rey bit her lip. She glanced at Ben who was silent, his face drawn in grief. Kylo was shuffling toward Ayla, hands out. 

“Leave her be,” he pleaded and Snoke glowered.

“No.”

“And why not?,” Rey asked hotly. Snoke opened his mouth to answer but it was Ben’s softer tones that answered.

“She’s his leverage. Snoke thinks to kill all of us but if he does, he doubts you’ll be cooperative. I imagine he has a horror stored for each of us.” Snoke almost giggled and sat down again. Rey noticed how the image began to fade in front of them. He was using too much power to keep up the facade, she mused. 

“Quite clever, this Solo. If only I had grabbed him instead of his faithful dog!” And he pointed at Kylo who stepped into a circle near Ayla. Rey screamed a warning but too late, the circle burst into flames, trapping Kylo with the zombie. Snoke laughed, his voice high and thin. Rey looked to see the image of Ben fading a way to be replaced by his usual cadaverous self, the image that had haunted her for weeks. 

“Such a shame he speaks of dogs in that way,” Luke whispered darkly and Rey frowned. Yips began to sound in the hall and the sled dogs burst into the room. They raced toward the containment circle where Ayla had grasped Kylo’s face, mouth open, hunger in her eyes as she dug her nails into his skin.

“That’s not Ayla, Kylo!,” Rey cried desperately. The dogs surrounded the circle, barking loudly. 

“I’ll kill them you know,” Snoke said lazily but at that moment the dogs all leapt over the bubble, water sluicing down their fur and over the two figures, shattering the circle. Ayla screamed as steam began to rise off of her, water boiling her, Luke muttering under his breath. Rey raced toward Kylo, grabbing him about his waist and dragging him away. He was sobbing loudly and Snoke was laughing gleefully over them all. The dogs jogged past them, one pausing to rub its nose against Kylo’s palm, before fleeing out the door. 

“Quite clever, Luke, putting a bit of your power into sled dogs. I’d never imagine that of you.”

“That’s your problem, Snoke. Too little imagination.” Luke’s voice was clear, full of scorn. Snoke snarled and waved his hand. Rey was ripped away from Kylo by a gust of wind and slammed to the floor. She sat up dizzily, crying out as a stasis circle flamed into being around her. She saw Ben, Luke, and Kylo were each trapped in one as well. 

“I’m so glad you could come, Rey. Unfortunately, it seems as your friends will be less than cooperative. I’m afraid I must kill them. Apologies, of course,” Snoke said airily. Rey snarled and rolled to her feet.

“I will kill you.” He smirked. 

“Keep quiet, love. I’ve barely begun to woo you. And given you’ve let both of these scoundrels into your bed, I can give you that form. I can make you happy.” Ben’s image rippled over Snoke’s wrinkled body and Rey snorted.

“You sicken me.” He pointed at the tapestries on the far wall.

“For each resistance you give me, Rey, I will torture your men.” 

Kylo pulled his sword out and slashed it against the stasis circle. “The hell you will.”

Snoke shrugged. “Fine. Then you will all die.” He made a circle in the air and Rey beat her fists against the containment field, helplessness rising in her throat as Snoke’s horrors appeared. From the walls, slipping out of the tapestries, were magnificent beasts--terrifying and misshapen. One was long with razors for hands, pale and blind. Another was pure blackness, absorbing all light, liquid as it slithered across the floor. 

Rey screamed and dug for the locket in her shirt. Luke turned toward her, yelling at her. She squinted, looked at his lips, unable to hear. She blinked as he kept repeating.  _ What happens if the battery needs to be re-powered? _

She, she was the battery. Rey let out a little gasp of comprehension and kneeled, sketching a quick circle of magnification with the sapphire ring. She saw Snoke tilt his head, a gleeful smile on his cadaverous face. Rey’s hands trembled as she stared at the lines of her circle, graceful swoops curving into other circles and thought about where the extra power would go. She looped the gold wire of her aether gem holder tightly and lowered herself into a crouch letting her fingers rest on the circles. They began to glow. 

Rey began to trace letters on the circles, pulling, pulling power through to her. She heard Kylo screaming but shoved it away, refused to let it stop her from spelling out the secret to true power. She wrote carefully, barely touching the tip of her finger to the golden lines, letters and words floating around her, sliding through Snoke’s circle to burst Luke’s, Ben’s, Kylo’s. She heard Snoke bellowing, she saw him shaking, and she heard a strange yell of a creature but still her concentration did not waver. 

She began to paint the golden letters on herself, began to write them as storage packs of power later.She flicked her finger and a set of letters slipped through the stasis circle, breaking it with a loud crack. The letters floated across the room and stuck themselves to Ben’s back. 

Snoke shouted. “Get the girl! She’s draining my power!” He whirled around, his great coat swirling around him as he retreated toward the throne. Rey saw a dark glimmering around it and realized that yes, power could be stored in packs. And he had his there. He needed them to maintain his Solo illusion. She snarled and used the letters to paint the circle of containment. 

“We’re going to do it,” she ordered her men, her voice eerily calm. Kylo swept his glowing sword through the dark creature and it fell apart into seams, into crumbling black threads onto the floor. Ben had dispatched the white beast. It lay in lumps on the floor. Luke obediently took his place to the west, Kylo sidling to the North and hastily scrawling on the carpet. Rey’s power flared and Kylo’s drawings bloomed to life, filled with teal color, light and easy. Luke’s were dark and heavy, Ben’s a warm sienna, a comfort in the rage of letters and words flying from Rey’s fingertips. 

She began to sketch out the drawings. Snoke roared and threw a vortex at them, violent and churning. Rey and Luke linked fingers and pushed it away, fire combined with water to consume it, douse it. Snoke snarled and his illusion shattered, his thin face, covered in scars, whitened as he took in their work. 

“Do you know what this is?,” she shouted at him over the rising wind. 

“You’ll never do it!,” he growled back at her. “It’s too difficult to hold.”

“I hold your power and and mine! I can!” And she flexed her fingers, the power in the circle flaring fiercely. Snoke covered his face with his arm, a feral gleam in his eyes. He coughed out thick words and Rey felt the ground trembling. 

“Wolves,” Ben said and turned slightly toward the door, drawing in the air in front of him. Spikes of brown earth shot up from the ground, trees sprouting violently. The wolves snarled, trapped, unable to slither through the grove Ben created. All of a sudden, a flock of birds lifted out of the tree tops and dove toward the wolves, chittering loudly. 

“What was that?” Luke demanded. Ben shrugged good naturedly. 

“Not me. I told you the earth was on our side.” They were being buffeted from all sides by Snoke’s rage, a tempest filling the room, dark clouds flinging rain and hail at them. A fork of lightning struck the ground near Ben and he jumped back, hair wild. 

“We need to close it!,” Kylo cried. Rey shook her head. 

“I haven’t finished writing it so that we all give something up! I don’t want to lose any of you!” 

“How touching,” Snoke mocked. He glided across the floor, his power clinging to his frail frame as he stalked toward them. He glowed a deathly white and Rey wondered if he would fall to so much dust before he reached them. 

“But you won’t have a choice!,” he raised his arm, sniggering loudly, and brought it down abruptly. The ceiling began to shake and crumble, dropping down onto them. A large chunk hit Luke and he fell to his knees, blood pouring down his face. 

“No!” Ben shouted. “There’s no more time!” He turned to look at Kylo and Rey was seized by a sudden flash of fear. Lightning split the air around them and a piece of ceiling crashed near her, close to breaking the circle. 

Ben stepped into the middle.

“I take the sacrifice!,” he cried and slit his wrists open, blood falling to pool around his feet. 

And the circle shook and tremored and the ceiling rained down on them and Snoke began to convulse, their power shooting into him. He shrieked, high and thin, as his body fell to the ground. The circle fell and Rey couldn’t see Ben, covered in dust from the ceiling. Figuring Kylo would take care of him, she raced toward Snoke, yanking her locket off. 

“I’m neutralized but not gone. I can make more batteries,” Snoke gloated. Rey ripped it open and grabbed the little pill. She pinched Snoke’s jaw and wiggled it open, his hands shoving weakly at her, nails raking over her skin. She forced the pill in and held his jaw closed. He trembled beneath her, eyes wild, as blood flecked foam began to trickle between her fingers and the flowery taste of bitter almonds assaulted her. 

“Never again,” Rey sobbed as Snoke died underneath her fingers. The red light faded from his eyes and he stared blankly at her. She drew her hands back and watched as skin began to flake off him, the water spattering down on his pocketed skin as the rain clouds dispersed. A gentle warm breeze swept through the room and Snoke faded into a shade, bits of him chipping off and lifted away. She watched in amazement as he crumbled into dust and shivered as the wind carried him away until only a grey smear was left on the carpet. 

Rey let out a shuddery breath and hung her head. 

“Ben! Ben!” Kylo’s bellowing yanked her from her thoughts and she shakily rose to see Kylo pulling at the fallen ceiling. She dodged a falling rock to grab Luke. 

“Where’s Ben?!”

“I can’t get him!,” Kylo half screamed, half cried, tears cutting tracks down his dirt stained cheeks. Rey raced forward and began to claw at the thick boulders tented around where her husband should be. She was screaming his name when a rock hit her in the shoulder and something snapped. Kylo shouted incomprehensibly before sweeping her into his arms and running out the door, Luke hobbling behind him. Rey continued to cry for her Ben, reaching for him, her heart ripping into two as the castle fell into shambles around them, blocking their way with rocks and plaster. 

Kylo charged away from the castle, the ground trembling as trees began to shoot out of the ground. He collapsed with Rey a hundred yards away, Luke slumped against a boulder, his face tight and drawn, blood caking his cheeks. Rey continued to sob, looking at the castle being swallowed up by the earth, grass flowing over the rocks, and trees reaching for the skies. 

“The world mourns him, Rey,” Luke murmured softly. 

“He did it for you,” Kylo added in a soothing voice. Rey shook off his arm and they let her weep as the clouds above were swept away and the soft orange of the setting sun graced the island of Hoth for the first time in decades. 

After a short while, Rey stood on unsteady legs, her shoulder aching and most likely broken. She took in the two men covered in blood, Kylo’s wrist broken and limp by his side. Luke was worn thin, moving slowly as if something had broken inside of him. 

“It makes sense,” Kylo began slowly, his voice wounded. “Ben loved you. And he loved Croytan. This is his way of protecting us all.” Rey brushed back her tears as he spoke and gazed at the hidden ruins. Small piles of boulders and a vague shape of the castle could still be seen through the thicket of trees. A butterfly flapped by her face and she watched it beat its wings in the warm air. Rey struggled out of her thick coat. 

She looked again at the two men, Kylo gazing at her expectantly, Luke haunted and distant. She thought about Ben, his visions, his hopes, the way he held her tight to his chest this morning. Her eyes began to burn and she swallowed down the rising lump in her throat.   

There is so much work to do, she thought. For Ben. For their baby. 

“We’ll make camp here,” she proclaimed. “And tomorrow, we will set out to Croytan. It is time to bring peace.” 

“Yes, your majesty,” Kylo mumbled as he stood. Rey lay a gentle hand on his arm. She felt a fluttering in her belly and thought it was her baby. She had to be strong. For Ben and Kylo. For their baby. 

“Will you by my side?,” she asked, her voice pregnant with hope. Kylo kissed the corner of her mouth. 

“Always.” 

And as they made their back to the Taiga the following morning, arms linked around one another, mourning mingling with hope, they did not look back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an epilogue. This is a Breylo fic.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gracias por todo. Son uds muy amables y siento muy agradecido por su tiempo. Este es el fin. 
> 
> My English, it fails me. Thank you for everything, for your time, your comments. This is the end. Amables means so much more in Spanish than friendly. It means genteel, kind, decent--a sort of extra step. 
> 
> I think this word, amable, has PoorQueequeg as the definition in the dictionary. PQ has been there along the way, encouraging me, helping me find the right words, keeping me in line when I was close to giving this up. Mille gracias, maravillosa.

Arkanis was a small, bustling city on the edge of the sea south of the Taiga. Surrounded by a patchwork quilt of farms, full of inns for travelers coming in all directions. Snoke’s castle was only a few days away in the summery weather that pervaded the region and all sorts of onlookers and historians came and studied. Tourism dollars abounded while they researched how the glorious Queen Rey defeated Emperor Snoke with her husband, King Benjamin Solo, by her side. And how they now ruled a much larger nation, combining Croytan and Uthos together in one country, bound by a new treaty once General Hux conceded.

Rista Kalvega wondered if he would see the queen when he went to Coruscant next month. As governor of the region, he was one of the delegates to represent the country’s needs at the great summit the queen had called. He was pleased; pleased that a nobody like himself, found wandering in the Taiga and taken in by a few kind folks, had been elected mayor then governor-- had been given a chance to succeed.  And now he would be giving his opinion on the needs of his country.

He delighted in imagining how to woo other statesmen, to bring courtiers to his side, to bring more alchemists to Arkanis to improve their aether system. His own power was flickering at best, able to coax light and work some protective spells around his home. His understanding of the theory was innate and deep, so much so that local alchemists came to consult with him before starting a great working.

Rista held a council the evening before his departure for Coruscant, charming the women with his flashy smile and flattering the men on their excellent choices in wives. The province loved him--even his flattery sounded true. He often wondered what kind of life he had led before that allowed him to know instinctively what to say, how to turn a phrase so that it sounded sincere rather than cloying, warm rather than calculating. How he could know from a gleam in an eye that a council member planned to double cross him.

After the council, Rista entered a local pub, pausing when he met his reflection in the cloudy glass next to the hat stand. He admired his slender figure clad in a trim waistcoat, gold chained pocket watch clearly visible. Behind him loomed a large gold framed portrait of the King and Queen. He knew how much he resembled the king, who was broader in shoulders, a similar constellation of freckles marring their faces. They even had the same scar albeit in opposite directions. Rista often joked that he was Han Solo’s long lost son and everyone would chuckle over the smuggler prince’s flamboyant tendencies. He believed, like the family that took him in, that he must have been related to Han Solo and discarded to hide a family shame.

He regarded the daguerreotype of Queen Rey as he waited for dinner. She was absolutely breathtaking he thought and he pushed away the possessiveness that would rise naturally within him whenever he saw her.

“Ah, Rista! Sorry I’m late,” rumbled the sheriff as he heaved his bulk through the doorway. Rista raised a disdainful brow but said nothing, only gesturing for the sheriff to proceed him.

He intuitively knew that small gestures went a long way, especially for the weak minded.

They ordered the shepherd pie and foaming mugs of beer and began to review a few proposals for Rista to bring to Coruscant about border security. He nodded and appeared to scribble notes in his little leather notebook.

“Anything else I can get you sir?,” whispered a sultry voice and Rista found a pair of pale bosoms shoved in his face. The sheriff leered.

“Uh, no thank you, madam. This is quite good,” Rista replied good naturedly as he leaned away. The server pouted and shook her many curves, her ass twitching near the Rista’s face. He held his hand up and she flounced away with a humph. The sheriff cocked a brow at Rista.

“She was hoping you’d find another meal,” he said and Rista snorted.

“I like my head where it is, thank you. Her fiancee works in the kitchens and is deadly with a cleaver.” The sheriff chuckled at that.

“I’m amazed, my dear boy. You aren’t young, you know. You’ve got quite a few greys. And women throw themselves at you. I saw the lady Jaina the other day drop her handkerchief right in front of you. Yet you seem oblivious.” He glanced down at the ring on Rista’s left hand. “You can’t remember your wife?”

“Not a whit,” he answered solemnly. “But I will remain faithful to her. She could be out there looking for me.” The sheriff snorted.

“That ring? You were a nobleman, sure as can be. She’s probably married to another lord or whatnot.”

“A nobleman?,” Rista echoed. The sheriff nodded as he took a hearty swig of beer.

“You got a good seat on the horse and understand economics. And you don’t know shit about farms. I thought you’d lose the election for sure to that Jagged Fel fella.”

Rista shrugged and took a dainty bite of food. The sheriff pointed one finger at him. “And you eat with them fancy manners. You’ll fit in well in Coruscant. I bet you the queen will want to steal you away for her cabinet and we won’t see you again.” Rista tried to hide his pleasure at that thought. He looked over at the portrait of Rey and couldn’t stop the thrill running through him of seeing her soon.

Coruscant was a glittering city, so large that Arkanis would fit into it a dozen times over. The temporary Parliament building--temporary as Alderaan was being rebuilt--was large, hulking, in flat brown stone. Rista wrinkled his aristocratic nose at it, found it unworthy of the hallowed minds it must harbor. He snorted at his own idealism, too used to town politics to know that lofty ideals did not exist in government--only hard worn cynicism, a desire to edge anyone else out for a spot of glory.

He was chatting with a governor from a southern state when a hush fell over the crowd and he glanced over to see people parting, bowing from their waists. His breath caught in his throat and his heart seized in his chest as she glided into the room. She was magnificent, she was glory herself, he thought, finally remembering to bow as she passed. He waited, looking at her cream colored gown which seemed to have paused in front of him. He felt a pressure on his shoulder.

“Rise, kind sir,” a throaty voice commanded and he stiffly stood, keeping his eyes even with her royal majesty, Rey Kenobi-Solo. “You are familiar to this crown. Have you been here before?”

“This is my first time, Your Majesty,” he replied huskily. Her clear hazel eyes widened as she took in his features and he felt shame rise, heavy and thick within him. His scar, he knew, repulsed her. He had heard the king was scarred but clearly not like this. He bowed his head and froze when she grasped his chin, raised his face.

“Never hide yourself from our gaze,” she ordered and he nodded numbly. She smiled thinly before continuing to the simple throne at the end.

“You look quite like the king,” the other governor said sotto voce. “That must by what startled her.”

“Of course,” Rista mumbled.

“We will see him tonight at the reception.”  Rista could hardly think of that, his mind in the clouds, his heart racing, his palms sweaty as the queen opened Parliament as a special session to discuss Croytan’s future.

He had felt her eyes steady on him as he rose to his feet, argued that while cities prospered, it was the farmers who suffered. Orphan children swept away for the press but still hungry. How plans were made to benefit the rich, but left farmers and simple folk behind. He proposed a few solutions--a more equitable tax system with credits, free higher education, better transportation infrastructure. The queen was smiling quite broadly throughout his entire speech.

Later that day, as he was exiting Parliament, shaking hands with other governors and delegates who wanted to be in his good graces should the queen seek to bestow some favor on him. To his utter lack of surprise, a heavy cream colored envelope with the Organa seal was pressed into his hands by a lackey.

An invitation to take tea with the royal family before the dinner tonight.

Rista strode through the royal palace later that afternoon, the glossy grey walls alit with peaches and violets, echoed in the sky above as the sun descended below Coruscant’s towering buildings. He had dressed too warmly, he thought as he rubbed his palms on his thighs, too used to Arkanis’ cooler weather. A servant showed him into a drawing room with high ceilings and navy silk covered walls. A small table was set for tea, he could see, taking an interest in the bone china laid out. Four place settings.

He looked over when he heard a loud whoop. A young boy with glossy black curls was kneeling on the ground by a model train. A lithe man was reclining on the ground next to him and Rista stiffened when he realized it was the king. He took in the man’s face, amazed at how closely it mirrored his own, more so in person. The king was whispering into the boy’s ear and leaned forward to make an adjustment to a model train puffing along the small track. The boy giggled and rested his head against the king’s chest. Rista felt a stabbing sensation in his heart and took a deep breath. The king looked up.

“Well, she said it was you but I could hardly believe it,” he murmured, rising to his feet. He strode over and grabbed Rista by the shoulder, eyeing him carefully. “It is you, Ben. Thank the Maker! I can’t handle all this politics crap anymore. Give me a good sword any day.”

“I’m sorry, your majesty,” Rista began haltingly. “But I’m afraid you’ve mistaken me for someone else.” The man stared into his face before pressing his lips together in a tight line and swearing loudly.

“You would know this man as your king, Benjamin Organa-Solo,” rang a clear voice from a corner. Rista turned to see Rey sliding in from a secret doorway, brushing aside a tapestry. “But I know him as your twin brother, Kylo Ren. And that is your son, Kyp.”

“Kylo Ren! The traitor for Snoke!,” Rista exclaimed backing away. Kylo snorted and shook his head.

“He’s not all here!,” he snapped at the queen. Rista growled and Kylo raised a brow. They glared at one another for a tense moment and Kylo’s mouth quirked up.

He said in a drolly voice: “Or, maybe he is.” The queen’s heels clicked on the marble as she walked across toward them. She wore a simple square necked ivory blouse, trimmed in lace, with a navy silk skirt and a belt with a square diamond buckle. Rista approved, he thought, before shoving the thought away.

“Give it time, Kylo. We need to determine what happened that night,” Rey said, laying a calming hand on the other man’s shoulder. Rista wasn’t sure why that action stirred jealousy within his belly and he forced himself to remain calm.  He wondered if the rest of Croytan knew the royal couple was insane.

“I’m sorry,” Rista began slowly. “But I believe there has been a mistake, your majesties.” Rey waved her hand.

“Please call me Rey. I insist,” she said cheerfully, taking Rista’s hands in a firm grip. “Let us have some tea and talk, shall we?” She gestured toward the neatly laid out table. Kylo strode over to pick up the prince and carried him to the table. Rista was astonished to see the little boy sitting on his father’s lap, slurping tea loudly, and gumming sandwiches. He was even more astonished when the queen served them.

“He looks just like us, no?,” Rey asked smilingly. Kyp had the king’s long black hair but the queen’s wide hazel eyes. Unfortunately he seemed to have the ears too and Rista grimaced for the poor boy.

“Congratulations on your son,” he said solemnly and the king snorted.

“Yours, too, you know.”

“Kylo!,” the queen chided. “You can’t push him.” The king sighed dramatically. Rey turned toward Rista.

“Rista, I was quite impressed at your speech this afternoon.” Rista immediately sat up straighter. They were treading into a more known area. He spent the next half hour talking with the queen about his plans, going over in great detail how they could be accomplished. She was smiling softly the entire time and the boy, Kyp, was fascinated, clambering over his knees and pulling at his hair and cheeks. He was surprised at himself for letting the boy do it. He couldn’t explain the swelling of pride in his chest when the boy chirped little questions throughout.

He wondered if the tea was drugged.

Rey finally stopped him by laying her hand on his arm and his breath hitched.

“Ben,” she began.

“Rista,” he corrected. And paused. On her finger was the exact same gold band that was on his. He placed his hand next to hers and Kyp bent over them.

“He has the same ring, mommy,” the little boy proclaimed. Rey seemed to be blinking back tears.

“What do you remember, Rista? Tell me of your life?”

Rista began speaking quietly, his mouth going dry. He took a deep swallow of his cool tea. “I was found wandering in the Taiga without a memory. It was just after the thaw that happened when you defeated Snoke. I was quite delirious. The people assumed that I had been a prisoner and you had freed me.” Kylo snorted and Rista glared at him. But it had felt all too natural.

“I confess,” he said, “this feels all too weird.”

“As if you already know us?,” the king asked suspiciously and Rista shook his head.

“I’m proud of this boy, possessive of the queen. I want to fight with you, your majesty.”

“Oh, aye, you’re trapped in there, Ben. We can help you retrieve those memories.”

“Luke is at the university. He might be able to. I miss you, my love.” Rey clasped her hands around his, eyes glittering with unshed tears. Rista shifted uncomfortably.

“This feels surreal.” Rey cupped her cheek and to his alarm, he turned into it, pressing a kiss into her palm. “I should be executed for that,” he whispered.

“I am yours,” the queen replied.

“And I don’t do executions anymore,” Kylo added with a snort. “Especially not of my own brother.”

“Why do I think that wasn’t always the case?,” Rista found himself teasing. Kylo grinned and picked up Kyp, informing the boy gravely that it was almost bed time. The boy pouted and Rista was proud to see him try to negotiate with Kylo who simply slung him over his shoulder and carried him out of the room.

“Stay, Rista,” the queen implored. “I could use you as a special adviser. And during that time, we can recover your memories.”

“This, I just can’t believe it,” Rista stammered. “I imagined I was nobility but king?”

“Stay. I beg of you. I’ve missed you terribly. I love Kylo but, well. You know his mind isn’t meant for the simpering games of politics.” Rey sighed and leaned back in her chair. Rista’s heart ached and he wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms and kiss her furrowed brow.

“If your majesty wishes it,” he ended up saying. And she brightened with a quick smile and he fell.

 

Rista fell into an easy routine at the palace. He spent most of his day with the queen or other advisers who would always gasp when he would enter the room. He thought the queen would wave away his appearance but she did not. She would always say that he is the long lost brother of Ben Solo and everyone accepted it.

Han Solo had been a scoundrel.

Rista flourished by Rey’s side and the backlog at the Parliament began to ease. He spent time buttering up the prime minister, surprised that he knew the man enjoyed Corellian brandy. He found it eerie that he knew Rey’s favorite meals. He caught a glimpse of her naked back when he had arrived too early to her chambers and had been jolted by how familiar her back looked to him, how eagerly he wanted to press kisses along her spine.

She had invited him to, kept calling him her husband.

He refused.

He enjoyed stealing away during the afternoons to spend time with Kyp. The boy was amazed by the bi-planes in development and Rista would take him down to the university, buy him ice cream, and let him watch the scientists fiddle around with getting planes off the ground. His heart had shattered when the boy had fallen asleep in his arms on the steam carriage ride home.

He found something he wanted more than power.

The dowager empress had cried when seeing him, sobbing even harder when she realized he had no memory. Rista longed to have them and held her tight, sharp pricks in his heart, his eyes aching from holding back tears.

Rey would tell him about their days, sure something would trigger his memory. He showed up one afternoon at her apartments and gasped. She was clad only in her diaphanous chemise and a watered silk dressing gown, her hair flowing over her shoulders.

She was absolutely stunning and he shifted his weights, his pants suddenly tight. Rey smiled at him. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes. But his mind still seared with the images of her taut nipples pressed against the gown. Something in him whispered they were larger than he remembered and he frowned.

“I am your wife,” she reminded and he squinted as he saw her slide on an aether gem loop over her hands. “Come here, Rista.” She beckoned him and he began to stride across when he was suddenly frozen, a circle bursting into light. Rey glided toward him, a strange look in her eyes. She crossed the circle and gazed up at him.

“What is this?,” he ground out and she pressed her palm to his temple.

“Remember, my love,” she murmured. And Rista collapsed to the ground.

 

_She laughed at him, the light picking up the auburn hints in her swinging hair. He tackled her, pressing her to the bed, and his fingers tickled her ribs and belly. She laughed again, a burst of sound in his normally dull apartments and he shushed her, covering her mouth with his hand._

_“Do you want to get caught?,” he whispered heatedly and she smirked at him._

_“Ashamed you are sleeping with your uncle’s student?,” she taunted and he silenced her with a kiss, his hand sliding up to cup her breast._

_“Never. I’d want you to be my wife, if I could,” he promised and she blushed. He rolled over her, sat her squarely on his lap and admired her naked body, the way her skin glowed in the dim aether lamps. She threw her head and laughed again, a low sound that pooled heat in his belly. He wanted to lock her up, keep her forever, and he reared up to take a rose colored nipple into his mouth, aware of her eyes on him._

 

_She walked numbly into the room behind Kylo and his heart stopped, stuttered. He forgot how to breathe. And all he could see was the purple mark on her throat and his throat constricted and his hand drifted to his side. He cursed himself for never having a sword. He glared at Kylo. He had risked his mother’s wrath trusting the spy with his wife. And here is how he repaid him--by taking something that didn’t belong to him. And to bring her here, where she must be in so much pain from the compulsion he had wound into his grandmother’s ring. He could see the pain in her face._

_“Rey, what are you doing here?,” he asked, surprised his voice could emerge from a throat so dry._

 

_She pointed out how poorly his workings were yet again._

_“You’re relying too much on weather conditions for this to work successfully,” she chided him softly, leaning on the table in his mother’s study on the Falcon. “We don’t know what the Taiga will be like.”_

_“Covered in snow and bitterly cold,” he shot back, irritated that she was criticizing another spell. But battling with his annoyance was the surge of pride. He remembered watching her teach students at the university, how admired she was by the other women in the university. Women didn’t normally teach--just assisted--yet here was Rey, leading a class at the behest of his uncle. She had been unyielding when the men denigrated her, when her own students mocked her. She had silenced them with her knowledge, had shown them time and time again how idiotic they were. Yet they still came for her. He only remembered her crying once in frustration--when a kid had picked up her bowl of soup and thrown it across the room. He tightened his arms around her and Rey protested._

_“Ben! We are supposed to be working!”_

_“I will always keep you safe,” he promised._

 

Rista woke up with a gasp, his heart thundering in his chest. He blinked rapidly several times, trying to get his bearings. He was lying on the floor and a soft pillow had been placed behind his head. He sat up, groaning and rubbing his head. Rey was crouched by his feet, concern on her face.

“Ben are you alright?”

“I think so,” he admitted. “But I feel like I was just run over by a steam engine.” She chuckled and came over to wrap an arm around his waist and help him lumber over to a chair at the desk. She poured him a cup of tea and tipped in a measure of brandy before pressing it into his hand.

“What do you remember?,” she asked anxiously. He looked into her wide hazel eyes and realized how familiar they always look.

“Bits and pieces. Images really,” he confessed. “But you were there.”

“I’m your wife,” she said hoarsely. “I will always be there.” He sat the cup down and looked at her, fully looked at her.

“Yes, I think you are my wife,” he said slowly. “I can’t remember it all, Rey.” She reached out and threaded her fingers through his and tenderly pushed back a stray lock of hair.

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if it takes a hundred workings. It doesn’t matter if we never get your memories back. I’m just so thrilled to have you back, my love.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.

This was not the first time she tried to kiss him. But this time he let her, allowed himself to sink into her lips, pull her on to his lap and caress the breasts which he had been aching to touch his whole life it seemed.

That night he took her to bed, not surprised when Kylo merely shrugged his shoulders. She was more than what he was barely able to remember and he lost himself in her, warm and wet and tight, arms clasped tightly around him, her short nails dragging down his back, her ragged gasps loud in his ears. Cherished gasps, he realized as he pulled her into his arms.

He discovered a few weeks later that he had shared her in bed with Kylo. He in turn just shrugged his shoulders and joined them both that night, kissing her shoulders and back, palming her plump ass.

Rey glowed.

He was astonishingly happy, even if he could only feel his life before rather than have any clear memories. The memories occasionally surfaced in dreams but he could never cling to them. He stared in the mirror in the vestibule before exiting to the garden to join Rey and Kyp at a picnic. Kylo came to stand behind him and Rista again was taken aback by how similar they looked.

“Yes, it’s an ugly mug,” Kylo remarked wryly and Rista grinned.

“I’m the better looking of the two us,” he shot back. “It’s no wonder she married me first and settled for you.” Kylo stuck his tongue out at him before clapping him on his back and opening the door for them to join their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your time. You can find me at Tumblr at HausCrashBurn.


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